by HC Michaels
Normally, Elvira was an active participant in her dreams, but as always in this particular one, she was prevented from taking a main role.
“Race me!” Amelia took off for the other side of the pool, her little arms pumping in an impressive dog paddle.
Tino followed, careful to keep at least a foot behind so she could win.
Amelia reached the edge and Tino made a lunge for her, grabbing her by her waist and throwing her into the air, sending her flying across the pool and plunging under the water.
“No!” Elvira tried to break free from her frozen position beside the pool. “No!”
She watched as Amelia thrashed about for a few moments before making her way back up to the surface, unable to see or hear the distress of her mother.
“More!” Amelia paddled towards her uncle, and he did it again, this time throwing her further, smiling at her squeals of delight.
She did an underwater somersault before rising to the surface, and Elvira’s heart ached to drag her from the pool and hold her close.
The game continued, each time Amelia’s underwater antics becoming more elaborate, with handstands, pirouettes and hula dances being worked into the routine.
Tino threw her once more and ducked under the water after her, crouching near the bottom of the pool in wait.
“No!” Elvira cried again, tugging at her invisible bonds, desperate to break free. She knew this dream too well. She didn’t want to see what was going to happen next.
Tino broke the surface. He stepped out of the pool and walked into the house alone.
“Amelia!” Elvira thrashed under her sheets as the dark blur in the water that she knew was her daughter vanished. “Amelia!”
The bonds tying Elvira to the spot fell away. She ran to the pool and dove in but as she hit the surface, she woke, finding herself damp with sweat instead.
“It’s okay,” she told herself as her chest heaved for air. Amelia was okay. Better than okay, in fact, as her precious Tessa was coming home today.
She thought back to that online dream interpretation website that she’d stupidly posted in after too many red wines one night.
This dream is a representation of your fear of losing your daughter. The pool represents a force that’s threatening to take her away. Your brother represents your mistrust of your family. Your inability to move is because you feel disconnected from your daughter’s life.
Elvira had slammed her computer closed, embarrassed that she’d actually asked.
She knew what the dream meant. She’d always known.
Tino couldn’t be trusted. And she had to keep her daughter safe.
Paul looked out the window of his Sydney hotel room. If he leant way over to the right and pressed his forehead against the window, he could see the tip of one of the tiled sails of the Opera House.
It was early evening and he contemplated calling Elvira but wasn’t in the mood to talk to her right now. She’d been very highly strung in Tessa’s absence.
He could call her later. Although, she might be asleep, and he hated waking her. Unless she was having one of her nightmares again, and then he’d be doing her a favour.
His phone rang and he glanced at the illuminated screen, wondering how Elvira could possibly have known he was thinking of her.
But it wasn’t her calling. It was his brother. Which sent a whole new feeling of guilt pooling in his stomach.
He let the call ring out. If Angelo were to find out he was staying in a hotel in Sydney, he’d kill him. Paul had multiple offers of free beds across this city. His parents, his sisters and Angelo would all be horrified if they knew he was here.
His phone rang again.
Great.
It was his sister, Francesca.
Did his family have a missing person’s report out on him or something?
Knowing Francesca was a little harder to ignore than Angelo, he picked up the call.
“Hey, sis.”
“What are you doing at the Radisson?” she asked.
He paused, aware his heart had started to race.
“Well?” He could easily imagine her pursing her lips as she tapped her foot, waiting for his answer.
“I’m just here for the day, for a meeting,” he lied.
“It’s seven in the morning, Paul.” She sounded unimpressed. “Must’ve been an early flight.”
He yawned, trying to sound tired. “Yeah, I was up with the birds.”
“Which is interesting because it looked to me like you flew from Brisbane to Sydney last night, and you’ve been in your hotel room ever since,” she huffed.
“All right.” Sweat beaded on his forehead. “You got me. How the hell do you know where I am? Let alone that I was in Queensland.”
“Joseph put that app on your phone last time, remember?” she said. “With your permission, might I add.”
“Oh.” He’d forgotten all about that app his young nephew had thought would be fun to install, saying they’d be able to see where each other went. Paul had meant to delete it later and had clearly forgotten. “I thought that app was for Joseph, not you.”
She let out a long, disappointed sigh in the exact same tone their mother favoured. “Joseph is my son. Of course, he’s going to tell me if he sees you giving us the cold shoulder.”
“Fran, I’m not giving anyone the cold shoulder.” He heard the tone of his voice rise in panic and reminded himself that he didn’t have to answer to his big sister. He could go wherever the hell he liked. “It’s just—”
“It’s just very disappointing, Paul,” she finished. “We love seeing you. I thought you felt the same. Mum would be so upset if she knew.”
“I’m sorry, Fran.” He sat down on his hotel bed and sighed. “It was just a very quick trip, and I have a pile of work to do. I’ll go see Mum tonight.”
“You’re staying another night?” Francesca gasped. “Cancel that hotel immediately and stay with us. I’m putting the sheets on the bed right now. Don’t try to stop me. I’ll see you at Mum’s.”
Francesca disconnected the call before he could complain.
He threw his phone onto the bed, just as a text from Angelo appeared.
Fran’s on the warpath. Tried to warn you. She knows you are here. Let me know if you need me to cover. Or organise your funeral.
He laughed, even though Angelo was only half joking. Francesca could be even more frightening than Elvira. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons Elvira’s manner didn’t bother him when it clearly upset other people at times. Including her own parents, who’d been so bothered by it they’d moved to another state…
He went to his suitcase and fished out his running gear. That was what he needed. When he ran, it almost felt like he could outpace his problems. He’d imagine leaving everything that was troubling him far behind. When he was running, he wasn’t a husband, or a father, or a brother, or a son.
He was just plain old Paul, and nobody and nothing could catch him.
The only problem was that he couldn’t continue to run forever.
He knew deep within the pit of his stomach that one day his troubles were going to find him, grab him by the throat, and force him to look right in their ugly face.
Putting on his shoes, he pulled the laces tight, enjoying the feeling of the pressure it created.
He didn’t want to think about one day. Right now, it was time to do what he did best.
It was time to run.
Elvira watched her daughter skid across the room so fast it looked like she had little wheels on the soles of her feet.
“Millie!” Tessa cried, squatting down and opening her arms wide. Amelia flew at her, knocking her to the floor.
Tessa lay down on her back and laughed as her face was covered with the kind of sloppy kisses Amelia reserved especially for her.
Maybe Elvira should try calling her Millie like Tessa did? If only winning her daughter’s affections were that easy.
Besides, Amelia had always been one of her
favourite names and it gave her great pleasure to be able to use it for her daughter. She didn’t mind Tessa shortening it to Millie, but it wasn’t something she was interested in doing herself.
Paul swung between both the long and short forms of the name as he did with most things in life. He didn’t have a favourite colour, favourite food, or favourite anything. He didn’t like to take anyone’s side in an argument, nor did he like to have one himself. He was extremely easy-going, and it drove her crazy.
‘Do you have to always be so damn agreeable?’ she’d often shout at him, trying to get him to stand up and have an opinion.
‘Sorry,’ he’d say, infuriating her even more.
Amelia stopped her kisses as she allowed Tessa to sit up.
“Tessa, my Tessa,” she said, wrapping her arms around her nanny’s neck.
“Welcome back.” Elvira clenched her fists at her side.
She needn’t have bothered talking, given how enraptured Tessa was with her daughter. She couldn’t hear a thing.
With a painful grin stretched across her face, Elvira went to the kitchen and flipped the switch on the kettle. Tessa would want a cup of tea after her long flight.
She’d been so happy to receive the text message telling her the airline had finally agreed to let Tessa fly home on her originally scheduled flight. Lucky for them. She’d been thinking of ringing herself to complain. She needed Tessa home. It wasn’t fair to mess with people’s lives like that. It was a little strange, though. She’d never heard of an airline cancelling a scheduled flight like that, then reinstating it.
Tessa appeared in the doorway with Amelia in her arms, who was now crying.
“What happened?” asked Elvira.
“She’s just a bit emotional.” Tessa tilted Amelia’s face up to hers and kissed her on the tip of her nose. “Is Paul home?”
Elvira scooped some tea leaves into a pot. “He’s in Sydney.”
“Oh, you’re a saint,” said Tessa, knowing the tea was for her. “Feels like I haven’t had a decent cup of tea for about a hundred years.”
“It’s good to have you home.” Elvira forced a smile to her face. “It’s been challenging here without you.”
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t miss my brother’s wedding.” The smile fell from Tessa’s face. “I only have one brother.”
“Well, thank goodness for that,” said Elvira, doing her best to hold onto her false smile. She thought when she hired a British nanny, she’d be more interested in touring Australia, not traipsing back to Europe every chance she got.
“Tessa my mummy,” said Amelia proudly, as if she’d just decided she ought to let Tessa know she’d had a promotion while she was away.
“I’m not your mummy, you little goose.” Tessa glanced at Elvira. “Your mummy’s right over there.”
“Tessa my mummy.” Amelia rested her head on Tessa’s shoulder.
“Millie, you listen to me, sweetheart,” she tried again. “I love you very much, but I’m not your mummy. Don’t ever say that again, okay?”
Amelia looked up at her with serious eyes and nodded.
“Sorry.” Tessa touched Elvira on the arm.
Elvira sighed. “It’s okay. She’s just missed you. Believe me, we all did.”
Tessa beamed. “I can’t tell you how nice it is to hear that.”
“You didn’t have a good time?” Elvira poured the hot water into the tea pot and watched it bubble up.
“No, no, it was great.” Tessa jostled Amelia on her hip. “Just another spectacularly failed romance to add to my list.”
“Right.” Well, that explained the airline ticket. Tessa had wanted to stay longer, then changed her mind when her fling went belly up. She could’ve just told Elvira. She would’ve understood. It wasn’t like she’d never had a holiday romance. She’d met Paul on the Spanish Steps in Rome, for goodness sake. Although, that turned out to be anything but a spectacular failure. Or maybe it had? It depended on your definition, she supposed.
“What was his name?” she asked, trying to sound interested.
“Kosta.” Tessa rolled her eyes.
Elvira nodded. “Very Greek.”
“Very arsehole, too.” Tessa grinned, although Elvira wasn’t amused.
She tipped her head towards Millie. She didn’t want her picking up language like that. Thankfully, she hadn’t seemed to have heard.
“Sorry.” Tessa’s cheeks coloured. “My language filter is a little rusty.”
Elvira pushed her tea across the kitchen counter. The Laminex surface was chipped, like most things in this cramped house. It had seemed so big when she and Paul bought it as newlyweds. But with Amelia now occupying the spare room and Tessa in the study, they were bursting at the seams. A second bathroom would be so nice but making that happen was a pipe dream. It wasn’t that they couldn’t afford it. It was more the time involved in figuring out how to go about it. Organising a plumber when the sink blocked or a repairman when the heater stopped working were difficult enough with both of them working full time. This put renovating very squarely in the too hard basket. One bathroom would have to do for now.
“Will you be okay to look after Amelia tomorrow, or are you too tired?” asked Elvira, turning on the coffee machine. If she was going to have a hot drink, it had to be stronger than a few leaves dipped in water.
Tessa had better be okay to take over tomorrow. Elvira’s manager had already lined up a meeting with her in the morning.
“Of course.” Tessa set Amelia back down on the ground. “Might need to get to bed shortly, though. I’m pretty worn out.”
Elvira gave her a tired smile of her own. “I know you’re not officially working today, but would you mind reading Amelia a book first? She’s desperate for one of your stories.”
The home phone rang, and Elvira reached for it without waiting for Tessa’s response. Of course, she’d read Amelia a story. Tessa was even worse at saying no to that little girl than she was.
“Hello.”
“Elvira,” said her father’s voice down the line.
“Oh, Dad. Hi. Everything okay?” It was unusual for him to call this late. Her parents had a strict seven o’clock cut-off time for phone calls. At half past seven this must be an emergency.
“I have bad news,” he said, in his thick Italian accent. “Is Paul there?”
“Why do you need Paul? Tell me.” Her father could be so sexist at times. If he had bad news, he could tell it directly to her. He was her bloody father, not Paul’s.
“You no good with bad news, Elvira.” He sounded like he thought she was sixteen again.
“Put Mum on the phone.” Her mother wouldn’t pussy foot around like this. “Now!”
“Your mother is dead.” Her father broke down into howling sobs.
Elvira dropped the phone and sat on the kitchen floor, pulling her knees up to her chest, only vaguely aware of the flurry of movement around her as Tessa picked up the phone and crouched in front of her.
Her father was right. She wasn’t good with bad news. She used to be just fine with it, until four years ago when her capacity for dealing with any further blows was completely ruined.
Why did it have to be her mother? She didn’t want to die. She often said her life had only just begun when she moved to Queensland. She was happy.
Life was so cruel, taking those who didn’t want to go and leaving behind those who so desperately wanted to leave.
It shouldn’t have been her mother.
Why couldn’t it have been her?
10 Days Before The Break
Tessa had to work hard to hide her excitement.
She was on her way to Queensland.
Queensland!
She’d always wanted to go there. Everyone said she had to go. It was hot, even in winter. Sunny too, with clean beaches that stretched for miles, lined with palm trees and blue sky.
She couldn’t believe her luck. Two weeks in the Greek Islands and now another in the Whitsundays.
<
br /> The circumstances surrounding the trip were terrible, of course, which was why she had to pretend the holiday was unfortunate. In fact, calling it a holiday was probably wrong, too. It was a trip. Very appropriate given it was brought about by that exact thing.
Elvira’s mother had tripped down the stairs in her luxury harbour-side apartment and was now dead. It was shocking, and Elvira hadn’t taken it well at all. She’d collapsed when she first heard the news and Tessa had to take over the phone call while she assessed whether she should call an ambulance.
It was a shame Paul wasn’t home at the time. Poor Millie really should’ve been taken out of the room. It must have been scary for her to witness her mother crying on the floor like that. She’d stuck by Tessa’s side, wordlessly taking everything in, her big brown eyes spilling over with confusion.
The poor little poppet. Maybe it was a blessing her grandparents had moved away. She wouldn’t miss her grandmother. She didn’t even know who she was.
Tessa hadn’t realised how close Elvira was to her mother until now. She hadn’t stopped weeping since she got the news, not even now that they were on the plane heading for Sunshine Island.
They were lucky to get on a flight so quickly. Tessa had booked it on Elvira’s instructions the night before when all she’d felt like doing was falling into bed after returning home. It was impossible to say no to a woman who’d just lost her mother. Although, admittedly Tessa’s enthusiasm for booking the flights had increased when she realised Elvira wanted her to go with them so she could look after Millie while Elvira organised things.
It wasn’t clear what those things were at this stage and given she wasn’t able to organise something as simple as a flight, Tessa wasn’t at all convinced as to how effective her organisational skills were going to be.
Paul was flying in separately as he wanted to go back to Melbourne first before making his way to Queensland. This did seem a little unnecessary, but Tessa kept this to herself. She couldn’t blame Paul if he needed a little time to prepare himself to deal with his wife’s grief. It was hard enough having to deal with it as her employee.
