Son of a Crime God, Daughter of a Hoover

by Latoya Nicole

  “Bitch bye. You trying to be funny and shit. All I’m saying is, you could have put on something that don’t have names on your shit that shows everybody you could pay their tuition with one outfit. You’re a pretty girl, you don’t have to do all of that.” Now this bitch was trying me, and the shit was no longer funny.

  “Look, it ain’t my fault I was born into money. It’s not my job to make a grown mufucka feel better about life because they broke. Bitch I played in the mud wearing Burberry. This shit here, is nothing and it ain’t a piece of cotton in my wardrobe worth less than five hundred dollars. Whatever I put on is going to shit on you bitches. Get over it.” When she didn’t respond, I was grateful for that shit. Who would have thought I would get talked about or treated differently because I had money. Shit was different here and I was tired of trying to show them I was more than my name. Lena always said they, but I think she had a problem with it too. They worried about the name on my clothes, but I was trying to figure out how I was away from my daddy and still couldn’t get a man. When we pulled up, the tension was still thick in the car. We both got out without saying a word to each other. It was people all over the lawn and the music was cracking. I couldn’t wait to get in here, get a drink, and turn up.

  “Where y’all think y’all going?” The guy at the door was blocking us from walking in.

  “In the party. We were invited. Now can you move shit, these heels are killing me.” That was the exact reason I didn’t wear them bitches. Lena looked like she could barely stand in them tall ass shoes.

  “Naw, this ain’t that kind of party. We just regular common folk over here. AKA having a party down the street, it may be more your speed.” When he looked at me, I knew I was the reason we couldn’t get in. Lena didn’t say a word. Rolling her eyes at me, she stomped off towards the car. Really wanting to kick it, I decided to go against what I believed. As soon as I got in the car, I tried to make it right.

  “We look like we’re the same size. Maybe I can put on something of yours and come back.” Her face lit up and I could tell she was happy. I smiled back, but on the inside I felt funny. When we got back to the dorm, I grabbed some jeans, a ruffled shirt, and some ballerina shoes. Shit felt weird as hell and I wasn’t sure how I looked, but I knew I blended in with the rest of them. Lena seemed to be happy, so I must have looked straight. We got back to the party and they let us right in. No longer caring that I had to dumb myself down, I went inside and got ready to turn up.

  I had no idea what they had in the punch, but I was killing that shit. I had to take my mind off these ugly ass cheap shoes I had on. I couldn’t even hit a good twerk because I kept sliding in them mufuckas. There was no way I could do four years of this shit. I must admit, the party was lit. It seemed like everybody from the hood partied together. This was why we hung with them, we didn’t want to party with the boujie bitches. I had money, but I was far from the stuck up type.

  “Damn shorty, you slurping that shit down like you can suck a mean dick. What’s your name?” Smiling at him, I motioned for him to come closer.

  “Spark.” His ass was smiling and licking his lips. When he leaned in for a kiss, he met my Bic. I put a flame to that nigga’s lip and damn near fried that bitch off. Not giving him the chance to figure out what happened, I punched his ass dead in the deep fried lip.

  “You got me fucked up my nigga. Try that shit on one of these hoes.” Grabbing my drink, I walked off and went to the dance floor. Dude wasn’t about to fuck up my night. I was trying to fit in, but I damn sure wasn’t about to let a mufucka play me in this bitch. LiL Wayne’s Uproar came on and I started twerking all over that bitch. That was my song and I was about to turn this bitch out. It was a sexy guy leaning against the wall and he was watching me dance. Knowing he was looking, I showed the fuck out. I dropped it low, and when I came back up, my ass was hot. Not knowing if it was the drink just taking it over or not, I ignored it at first. After about five more seconds, I knew it was real fucking heat to my shit. The nigga lip I burned must be trying to get me back. Everyone was pointing and laughing, and I knew I was gone have to beat his ass. When I turned around, my daddy was standing there with Uncle Quick burning the shit out of my ass.

  “Daddy what are you doing here?” I was trying my best to get the fire out and talk to my daddy at the same time.

  “The question is, what are you doing in here? Fuck you got on? Looking like I got the bike Holiday. I sent your freedom fighter looking ass to school to learn, not be in here throwing that lil cat all over the party. Bring your dumb ass on lil section eight.” Rolling my eyes, I left out the party embarrassed with a hot ass. Everyone was laughing and shaking their heads. I know this was the last party they were gone allow me to come to after this shit. As soon as we got outside, they tore into me. I thought the shit they did was embarrassing enough.

  “You in this bitch showing your ass and you think that shit cute? LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU.” I was trying to figure out why I had a breeze, but this nigga was yelling.

  “Daddy, I’m assed out because of you. All I was doing was dancing and I wasn’t even on a boy. You have to stop doing this, it’s already hard here.” Uncle Quick could see the frustration on my face, so he pushed my daddy’s hand down when he saw the Bic.

  “Look Spark, you’re a Hoover. A lot of people won’t get that, and some are going to hate it. You don’t ever try to fit in with the next mufucka. If they don’t like you, burn they ass up and make them fear you. This ain’t how you do the shit. Them niggas was about to run a train on your lil ass and you sitting there popping that lil pussy like choo choo niggas.” I got what my Uncle was saying, but that shit wasn’t that easy.

  “I get that Unc, but all my friends here are broke. It just looks like I’m showing off and it makes them feel bad. I just want to have fun and the same experiences like everyone else.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what they don’t like. Find some new friends. Never apologize for who you are. If I ever come back here and see you dressed like somebody drunk ass auntie, imma beat your ass. How the fuck you driving in a Camaro with them lil cheap ass ruffles. Bet you can’t eat just one looking ass.”

  “That’s pringles dummy.” When he flicked his Bic, I shut the fuck up.

  “Take your lil dumb ass home.” Seeing he was dead ass serious, I jumped in my car and drove off. How the fuck I go to school over five hours away and this nigga was still popping up. These mufuckas was never gone fuck with me here.

  CHAPTER TWO DARRYL

  “Nigga come with some more short money, you gone find out who the fuck I am. You know how much my shit cost, ain’t no freebies with your bitch ass.” Slapping the lil white boy in his face with his money, I walked off. My pops thought sending me to school was going to stop me from being who I was, he had shit fucked up. That shit street ran through my blood and I been serving niggas since I started high school. Them white boys paid a grip for the shit I had.

  Phantom always tried to shield me from it, but he had no idea. I was the supplier for these school kids and I made my own money even though I was rich. The only reason I agreed to come to college was because the police kept bringing me in for questioning. I had to get the heat off me, but that shit didn’t stop nothing. I never realized how much money was to be made in this big ass college. I would have never fought it if I knew how much money was out here. Since I was a junior, I took on my father’s persona. I had been doing the shit since I was shorty anyway. I never had to actually kill anybody, because these mufuckas get scared whenever I stretch my hands on they bitch asses. Not that I wouldn’t though. Phantom used to sneak and take me to shoot. He was always excited about me being just like him, then the nigga got old and was all about that college shit. Nigga went from me taking over the streets to you should become a business man. I know it was Zee ass that was in his ear.

  “Why you so hard on these lil niggas man? You don’t be showing they ass no mercy.” My homie Jay was all in my face and made a mist
ake and stepped on my white Giuseppes.

  “Watch where the fuck you going. You should be more concerned with taking that dingy ass cape to wash it. Always trying to save a nigga. I don’t give second chances.”

  “You the one out here looking like you need to wash. You wear white every day. You gotta have some other shit in your closet. What’s with that?”

  “Yeah nigga, I got more white shit in that mufucka. Look, that’s just my thing. All I wear is white. Worry about if that gold come out nigga. Until then, watch where you going and stay the fuck off my shoes.” Whenever people tried to figure me out or why I did some shit, I just brushed it off. No one knew I was Phantom’s son. I wasn’t trying to be in his shadow, I had made a name for myself and I was gone keep it that way.

  “The party should be cracking by now. You know Hannah looking for your ass. Plus, I’m trying to find one of these boujie bitches that’s trying to be down.” Laughing, we jumped in my Maserati and headed to the spot. See down here, it was the have, the have nots, and the Greeks. Even though “the have nots” party be lit, them niggas down there be on some hating shit. At the end of the day, mufuckas down here was gone party. I would rather it be with niggas that wasn’t looking jealous. When we walked in, everyone went crazy.

  “Lil Jesus in the house, hide the bitches. You know how hoes love the Lord.” Laughing at my homie Til, I dapped him up and walked off. I hated when they called me that, it made me feel like they knew who I was. Everyone called my dad black Jesus, so I didn’t want people making the connections. However, I did use it from time to time with the hoes. They loved that shit for whatever reason. I barely made it in all the way, when Hannah was grabbing on me like I was her nigga.

  “I’ve been waiting on you, what took you so long to get here. All my girls thought I was lying when I told them my bae was gone be in this bitch.” I hated when Hannah tried to talk black. She wanted to be down so bad, she was at all the spots trying to kick it. Walking over to the couch, I sat down and nodded for her to come over. Pulling my dick out, I gave her that look.

  “Come show Jesus how much you want him to bless you.” Hey, like I said. The shit come in handy sometimes. Just like that, her mouth was wrapped around my dick.

  “Really nigga? You just gone whip your dick out in front of an entire house?” Laughing at Jay, I pulled my phone out.

  “Hell yeah. Niggas only gotta fuck in the dark when they shit little. I need her friends to see what they have to look forward too. I’m about to have a great weekend my nigga.” He shook his head and walked off. Hitting record, I let her do her thang for the entire house and the camera. As soon as I nutted in her mouth, shorty tried to get up and kiss me. Swerving her, I put my dick up. “Come on now, you know I don’t do that affectionate shit. Look out.” She was hugging on me tight as hell, but I was about to hurt her feelings. Putting my dick up, I stood up and got ready to walk off.

  “Where are we going after the party?” Shaking my head, I laughed at her. Poor lil egg white thought she was in there.

  “I’m going with your friends, you going in the back room to give my homie Jay here some of that head.” His ass was looking at me like he thought she wasn’t going.

  “If I do it, are we going to be together then?” This hoe was crazy.

  “I don’t wife hoes shorty. Plus, where in the bible did it say Jesus had a woman? I came in this world alone and that’s how I’m leaving this bitch. The work you doing tonight, God will be pleased.” Jay shook his head and laughed. You would think he was used to my shit by now. I done damn near fucked every girl I’ve ran across. These bitches are thirsty as hell down here. Not to mention, I saw how Zee did my pops. I wasn’t allowing a chick to change me. My ass was young and just trying to fuck and get this money. Grabbing her friends, I got ready to leave the party.

  “I thought you meant one of em my nigga.”

  “Naw, boffum. See you tomorrow, it’s about to be a long night.” The girls giggled, and I just shook my head. This was why my ass was single. We climbed in my Maserati and I pulled my dick back out. “Which one of yall going first?” They damn near broke they neck trying to handle that for me. All these hoes at the school was the same and that’s why I didn’t fuck with em. My phone rang, and I saw it was this shorty I had fucked the other day. She been blowing me up since I hit it. This was the only thing I hated about running through they ass. Every last one thought they pussy was good enough to get me in a relationship. Hitting answer, I was gone try to get her to understand once and for all.

  “What’s up Lisa?”

  “It’s Linda, you so silly. Can you come over, my roommate gone to a party?”

  “I’m busy at the moment. Real busy. Look, that shit dead and you can quit calling me.” You could hear her smacking her lips.

  “Your ass ain’t that busy. What you doing that you can’t come over and get this pussy?”

  “I’m getting my dick sucked and you throwing off my concentration. Imma need you to stop playing peek a boo with my shit and go all the way down.” Not even waiting on Linda to respond, I hung up and drove to my spot.

  CHAPTER THREE SPARK

  After the party, I kind of just been staying to myself. I felt everything my daddy and Uncle Quick was saying, because these mufuckas was tripping. A bitch was trying to look broke, so they could feel secure. Not only was I crazy, my toes had blisters on them from them cheap ass shoes I had worn of Lena’s. Even though Lena was trying to kick it with me, I low key wasn’t feeling her. If you’re my friend, I should be able to be myself without you making me feel a way. She was in the room with some friends, which is why I had my ass at the library studying. I wasn’t trying to hear they ass asking why I was laid around in some Ralph Lauren pajamas.

  “I thought she had too much money to be in here studying. I’m surprised the bitch know how to read anything but her labels.” Some girl sitting across from me was talking shit.

  “Girl, you know mufuckas that have to wear shit like that be broke for real. Her parents probably spent all they taxes on her lil wardrobe. She ain’t fooling me. They should have bought her some bundles with her bald headed ass.” When they high fived I saw Red. Standing up from my table, I walked towards them. The scary hoes got nervous, but all I did was smile. Walking past them, I took the book I was reading and set it on fire. Throwing it to the floor, I walked out. I knew they would catch the fire before it did some damage. That was just a warning to let them hoes know Spark was coming for they ass. Heading over to my car, I jumped inside and drove off.

  I needed some air away from the school, so I went to this lil food joint that wasn’t too far away. Most of the time, I had to sneak and eat off campus because Lena and them was using food vouchers. I didn’t want them to feel a way, so I tried not to rub it in their faces. My anger must have had me driving faster than I realized, because when I pulled in the parking lot, my tires screeched causing everyone to look my way.

  Just what I needed, somebody else thinking I was trying to show off. Throwing my shades on, I got out the car and headed inside. Soon as I got inside, I sat down in a back booth trying to be away from everyone else.

  “That was quite an entrance. Fuck wrong with you? You almost hit my shit.” Looking up, I rolled my eyes.

  “Well I’ll be damned. I must have been driving fast as shit and crashed. How the fuck I look up and I’m just right here with Jesus? This some bullshit.” This nigga was really standing in front of me looking like he been out all day performing miracles. “Is that nut or holy oil on your jeans?”

  “Oh, your lil head ass got a smart ass mouth. I can show you some other shit to do with that mufucka.” He was cocky, and I could see why. Sexiest Jesus I ever seen. He was tall as hell with a nice lil build on him. I couldn’t really explain his complexion because he was kind of a dark light skin. His lips and smile was the sexiest thing about him and I loved the tats all over him. You could tell he was a bad boy.

  “Only thing you can show me is how you fed the
masses with some fish. I’m hungry as hell, so if you not bringing me my food get your real dumb ass out of my face.” The look on his face let me know he wanted to slap the shit out of me. Flicking my Bic, I gave him a look that let him know he didn’t want these problems. When he walked off, I waited for the waitress to come take my order. After ordering the fish, I looked through my phone until it came. As soon as she brought it, my mouth started watering. Out of nowhere, this nigga came back to my table.

  “Now now my child, you know better. You have to bless your food. Allow me to do that shit for you.” Taking a cup, he poured some shit all over my plate. Looking at it, the liquid was yellow, and I realized it was piss. Him and his friends walked off laughing like that shit was cute. I guess it was try Spark day. Throwing some money on the table, I walked outside. You could tell he was waiting for me to come over to where he was. I was coming, but that nigga was about to be pissed.

  Walking up on him, I leaned in close as if I was trying to tell him something. Licking my lips, you could tell his ass thought shit was sweet. While he focused on my mouth, I lit that nigga up like the fourth of July. His ass was smiling thinking he won and shit, I got close as hell to his mouth.

  “Bitch, the devil always wins.” When that heat hit his ass, that nigga did some kind of karate kid ass shit and raised his arms. The look on his face told me to get the fuck on and that’s what the hell I did. Jumping in my Camaro, I took the fuck off. Sitting at the light, I laughed my ass off. That nigga thought shit was sweet, I bet he never met a bitch like me. Glancing up in my rear view, I saw a car coming at me full speed. Knowing it was that nigga, I took off through the light and sped towards the campus.

  Ooh shit this nigga was mad mad. His ass would be in a Maserati and it was hard as hell to duck this nigga. My only thought was to get around some people. Shaking my lighter, I tried to see how much fluid I had left in that bitch, because I was gone have to flick my way up out this shit. We were swerving through traffic and going toe to toe. It went from feeling like a life or death situation, to some fun shit. By the time I pulled up to the campus, I was laughing like a mufucka. When I got out of the car, I laughed as he got out behind me. As he was walking over, I noticed all the fire trucks outside.