Chasin's Surrender (Gemini Group Book 5)
Page 17
He shook his head, disgusted. “But I know why you’re here. I know you need something from me. I know Dad lost his job and you’re six months behind on the mortgage and you’ve received the foreclosure letter.”
“If you knew, then why’d you ask?” Will’s voice boomed.
“Because I wanted to see if you had the balls to speak up and ask your son for money. But you didn’t. As always, you let your wife control the conversation. Faulty play on your part, considering you know how much I hate the woman. For six months, I waited for a call that never came. And had you asked me for the money yesterday, I would’ve sent it. But after the shit you said to my woman, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I’m giving you one single penny.”
“Chasin,” Genevieve whispered, and her palm pressed harder against his chest.
“No, Evie. You called that shit right. He took one look at you standing by my side, at your beauty, and he called you a whore. No one, and I mean no one, disrespects you. They don’t cast judgment, they don’t talk shit, they don’t even get to look at you like you’re anything less than the perfect you are. I don’t give the first fuck if that person is my father. It’s not gonna happen.”
“We’ll lose the house,” Nancy hissed.
“Good.” Chasin shrugged his shoulders. “That den of debauchery should’ve been burned to the ground years ago.”
“You can’t mean that. We’ll—”
“I mean that so deep down into my soul, I can’t explain how far down that shit goes. How you think I’d give two shits about a house that holds nothing but horrifying memories I don’t understand. I watched you, Mother. I heard. Doesn’t that bother you even a little bit? Your own kid heard you banging away in the very room you shared with my father.”
Stone-faced and belligerent. Nancy Murray was trash, Chasin had known it his whole life, but seeing the woman who’d given birth to him looking unrepentant and unapologetic, made his stomach roil. Bile crept up into his throat, and if Genevieve hadn’t been holding on to him, he didn’t think he would’ve been able to keep his feet.
As much as he didn’t want to admit it, there was some small, dark place in the way back of his heart where the little kid he once was still hoped his mother felt some kind of remorse.
But she didn’t.
She never would.
“Out!” Bobby shouted. “Get the fuck out of this house now before I call the police.”
Chasin started to move but Genevieve held tight. “Let her. They don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, honey. Let her get rid of them.”
A trail of warmth blazed through him. Then it burned so hot it neutralized the acid swirling in his gut. Not just from this latest unpleasant encounter with his parents, but from years’ worth of caustic waste that he’d never found a way to defuse.
Yet, it had taken Genevieve a handful of words and a touch to make it all start to fade.
Chasin had known it since the day he’d met her, and even knowing it, he’d almost fucked up and lost her. But now he realized he was not the fool his father had accused him of being. He was so far from it, he was never letting the woman at his side go.
Genevieve Ellison was one of a kind.
His perfect match.
Just plain his.
20
There was so much I needed to talk to Chasin about. But since Bobby had—hilariously—kicked his parents out of the house—and it was only funny because Bobby was a short little ball of fury and Chasin’s father might’ve been older, but he was not a small man. Yet, he was no match for Bobby’s feistiness. Through Bobby’s rampage, Chasin had remained at my side, my arms wound tightly around him.
Then his mood shifted.
I was seriously nervous I’d stepped over the line. I mean, I called his mother a whore, and I couldn’t remember, because I was pissed beyond all get-out, but I might’ve called his dad stupid.
The moment the door closed on his parents, something happened. Chasin checked out—totally. After he made sure I was okay, he turned to Bobby and checked on her. Once she declared his parents were massive dickheads—to which I flinched, at her outburst not because it wasn’t true, but because they were still his parents—he took me back to his room, told me to unpack, kissed me again, then said he had to run to the office.
I didn’t understand the change. I also didn’t understand why he was going back to the office when we’d just been there, but I didn’t question him.
Through the bedroom window, I watched him walk out to his Charger. He waited for Holden to finish walking up the lane from his Airstream and they had a brief chat, one I couldn’t hear. Then Chasin drove away and Holden came into the house.
I’d met all of the guys Chasin worked with. Jameson Grant was the scariest of the bunch. He looked like he could snap someone in two. But as I learned the other day when Bobby had her run-off-of-the-mouth, when he smiled it changed everything about him.
Alec Hall was the second scariest and Nixon Swagger took third place. Weston seemed happy-go-lucky, but then I met his wife, Silver, and their baby, Dylan, and figured those two were the reason he smiled a lot. Not that the other guys didn’t seem happy—they totally did, when their women were around—only changing when they were in the office.
But Holden struck me as the one who, out of all of them, had a true devil-may-care attitude. Though Chasin had been like that, too, before all of my drama hit him full-force.
When Holden walked into the house, his jaw was clenched, and his face set in stone. He was giving off some serious do-not-fuck-with-me vibes. Which worried me because I was afraid my needing a babysitter had interrupted whatever he was doing in his Airstream. Which, if I thought about it, it was weird that he was hanging out at home during a workday, but I wasn’t about to ask why he wasn’t in the office. First, it was presumptuous of me, and second, it was not my business.
But I couldn’t ignore the look so I asked, “Everything okay?”
“How bad was it?” Holden returned.
“The showdown with the Murrays?” I guessed. Holden nodded and I answered, “On a scale of nice family reunion being one, to worst parents in history being a ten, it was a nine. And only because my parents take the ten spot, so I know it can get worse than what happened. But for Chasin, I think it was a ten.”
Holden continued to stare at me, the muscles in his face working overtime to keep his expression in check, but unable to stop the tic in his cheek every time he ground his teeth.
“I fuckin’ hate those two. Nancy more than Will. But fucking hell, those two are the definition of assholes.”
I thought Holden was vastly understating what type of people Chasin’s parents were, but I held my tongue.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Me? Why wouldn’t I be okay? It’s Chasin I’m worried about. His dad was a total dick to him. Called him stupid, me a whore, and in keeping that thread, Chasin was a fool for being with me because obviously being a woman—therefore a lying, cheating bitch—I would break Chasin. I think by the end, his dad understood I didn’t appreciate being called names and I really didn’t like him speaking to Chasin the way he was. I might’ve called Will a stupid fool and Nancy a whore before Bobby went all crazy bitch and kicked them out.”
“Might’ve?” Holden’s mouth twitched.
“Okay, I did. I totally called his mother a whore.”
Holden’s face split with a smile, and holy shit, it changed everything about him. The smile alone took him from good-looking to jaw-dropping hot. And I think my jaw did drop, because his smile turned into a very loud, roaring laugh.
“Uh… I don’t think my calling his parents names is funny. I think Chasin’s mad at me.”
It took a moment for Holden to compose himself, but when he did, he was wearing a soft smile and none of the granite was left. “Babe, trust me, he is not mad at you. Chasin doesn’t talk about them much, but it’s no secret how he feels about his mother. And none of us have hidden how we feel abou
t her. Believe me, whore is one of the tamer words we’ve used to describe the bitch. She fucked Chasin up. The good news is, he knows it and doesn’t deny his issues with trust and women come from her.”
“Why is that good news?”
“Because it makes it easier for you to dig out all the shit she left in him. He wants it out, so he won’t fight you while you’re working it out of him.”
Heat hit my cheeks. But more, something funny started fluttering in my stomach. Then I realized I liked the funny feeling. I liked that Holden thought Chasin wouldn’t fight me while I was working out all the shit his mother had left inside of him. However, the bigger part of that was that I wanted to work it out of him. Maybe while I was doing that, I’d let him dig some of my shit out, too.
I wanted that.
I wanted to be that for Chasin.
But admitting it, wanting it, and being able to do it, were all entirely different.
You got one life, baby, just one.
“My parents are the supreme assholes of all time,” I blurted out.
“Yeah, I know. I read the complaint they filed in the lawsuit. Totally jacked.”
Shit. Of course Holden knew about my parents, everyone did. The court documents weren’t sealed. Anyone who wanted to know could look them up online and know that my parents tried to sue me for half of all royalties I made from the music I wrote. Citing events in my childhood, including their alcoholism and neglect had greatly inspired my songwriting, therefore they should be awarded half of the income I received from those songs. It was a bullshit lawsuit, they had no chance of winning and they hadn’t. But that didn’t mean it hadn’t been a huge pain in my ass, a PR nightmare, embarrassing as all get-out, and costly. Not for them—they’d found an ambulance-chaser attorney—but for me. I had to shell out twenty thousand dollars to fight the crap they put me through.
“So I know something about bad parents. But I might not have it in me to dig out what his left in him, when I can’t let go of what mine did to me. And not just with the lawsuit. I mean, since I can remember, they didn’t like me much.”
“You’re worried you don’t have it in you?” Holden surmised.
“Yeah.”
“You have it in you,” he assured.
“I want to think I do, but I’m not sure. You can ask Bobby—without meaning to, I shut down. And when I go searching for my safe place, I lock down so tight I don’t let anyone in. Chasin’s constantly pulling me out. It’s gonna get old.”
Holden’s grin turned into a full-fledged beautiful smile.
“You don’t listen to yourself when you speak, do you?” That was a weird thing to ask but he didn’t give me a chance to tell him so. “You just said you lock down and don’t let anyone in, yet Chasin keeps pulling you out. Can’t be lost on you that he’s able to get past whatever barriers you’re putting up. And believe me, it’s not lost on Chasin. You’re giving him an in and, Genevieve, he wants that in, so he’ll keep taking it.”
Damn if he wasn’t right. When Chasin pushed, I crumbled, every time. There hadn’t been one time he’d tried to get past my defenses that he hadn’t succeeded.
I’m so stupid.
“Now that that’s sunk in, let this, too…you have it in you to help Chasin let go of his past. I know you do because Chasin’s already let you in. He’s letting it all hang out. The fact that you witnessed what happened between him and his parents is a pretty big indication he’s not hiding.”
“He told me to stay upstairs. I didn’t listen. Then when it started, he asked me to go up but I ignored that, too. So I don’t think he wanted me to witness anything, I just didn’t let him kick me out of the conversation.”
“Right. So you had his back and wouldn’t let him take on his parents without you standing at his side. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Of course I wasn’t going to let him face those assholes without me.”
“And you think you don’t have it in you.” Holden chuckled and shook his head. “I could explain all the ways you have exactly what Chasin needs. But I’m not gonna do that. It’ll be more fun watching you figure it out. But one day, I’m gonna remind you of this conversation and you’ll see I was right. You keep doing what you’re doing.”
At that juncture, I wasn’t all that torn up when Bobby flounced into the living room and interrupted the heavy turn our conversation had taken.
“So,” Bobby started. “Leslie emailed—again. I’ve put her off for over a week. Now that Melissa has opened her trap and told Leslie you’ve fired her, Leslie is calling and texting and wants a sit-down ASAP. We’re gonna have to deal with this. Which means you and I have to talk about your future.”
My future.
What Bobby meant was we needed to talk about my career and what direction I wanted to go.
You got one life, baby, just one.
“I want to quit,” I told her, and my heart shuddered even saying those words.
“Quit?”
“I’m over it, all of it. You know this isn’t what I wanted. We talked about it enough, before I got my first deal, when I was signing that first contract, before I took the stage for my first big concert. So you can’t be surprised I want to quit. But I also know, right now isn’t the time to make that decision. There’s too much going on. I need to think before I cut ties. What’s your take?”
Bobby stood staring at me. She briefly glanced at Holden, her eyes came back to me, and I saw the confusion. I never talked business in front of anyone. I’d learned the hard way that if I did, it would be leaked to the press, twisted around, and they’d print lies.
“I can see your wheels turning, friend. We can talk in front of Holden. I trust him.”
“You do?” she whispered.
“Y’all gonna run to the papers and tell them that Vivi Rush is in the middle of a crisis and she’s thinking about saying fuck you to the music industry, and maybe give them all the middle finger before she throws in the towel and quits?” I asked Holden.
“Come again?”
I smiled at his puzzled expression and turned to Bobby. “Considering he has no clue that if he called up a reporter he could make a mint with just the little he’s heard, means I trust him not to sell me out.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Holden jerked in surprise.
“About which part?”
“People sold you out in the past?”
“Oh, hell yeah. Anyone else—well, I’m excluding all the Gemini men and their women in this statement, but no one else would bat an eye making quick money selling that to the rags. Bobby and I are careful about where we talk business.”
“Fuck, woman. I’d quit that shit, too.”
“Yeah, it ain’t pretty. All people see is the glitz, glamor, money, fame, and think it’s all fun and games. It’s not. It’s seedy, soul-sucking, and dream-crushing. Other than Bobby, I don’t trust a single person I work with. They’d stab me in the back and take my money. All I am is a dollar sign with a lot of zeroes after it. But the fuck of it is, the only place I’ve ever felt like myself is on stage singing. Nothing else feels like home.”
Well, that was until I met Chasin. Spending the weekend with him showed me what home really felt like, and it wasn’t standing in front of thousands of people singing anymore. It was in the arms of one man, enjoying his company.
Now that I knew, really knew, and there was a possibility I could have that, no matter how slim it was, I wanted it with a desperation that was borderline unhealthy.
Was I really willing to give up the career I’d worked my ass off for?
To get away from the leeches and liars—I was.
“First, we need to talk about the benefit concert.” Bobby launched into her role as my assistant and keeper. “I already spoke to Nixon about it, he knows that this is important to you, and if at all possible, you don’t want to miss it.”
Shoot, I’d forgotten that the benefit concert was coming up in a couple of months. I hoped that Gemini Group w
ould catch the stalker way before then, but Bobby was right, I didn’t want to miss it.
“The venue’s pretty small. Can Nixon provide security or oversee a group if we bring in—”
“No outsiders,” Holden cut in. “The six of us handle security.”
“It’s in Nashville,” I told him.
“Don’t care if it’s on the moon. If you think Chasin’s gonna let anyone other than us cover you, you’re wrong.”
“I’ll talk to Chasin tonight, get his opinion.”
“You’ll talk to Chasin?” Bobby breathed.
“Yeah…”
“Awesome.”
That one silly word hung between us. It felt like it weighed a ton. I didn’t have to ask what she meant, because I knew why she thought it was awesome I was going to talk to Chasin. I never asked for anyone’s opinion about my life, my decisions, or my career. Only Bobby. So if I was asking Chasin, she knew what that meant.
I was letting him in.
I was done fighting it.
We spent the rest of the afternoon discussing my future. One that would include Bobby at my side because she wasn’t quitting. That was a huge relief. I needed her both in my personal life and my business. She was smart, loyal, and my voice of reason.
As dinner time approached, Chasin texted and told me he was still caught up at the office and for us to eat without him. This worried me but I didn’t push.
Holden, Bobby, and I ate. I went up to Chasin’s room and played my guitar while fiddling with some lyrics I was working on. As usual, I lost track of time. When I looked at my phone, I couldn’t believe how late it’d gotten and that Chasin wasn’t back yet.
Just when I was considering getting dressed and demanding Holden drive me to the office so I could check on Chasin, the front door opened. Then I heard voices downstairs.
I glanced at the clock on my phone again and forced myself to stay upstairs. I’d give him ten minutes to talk to Holden before I went down there and demanded he talk to me.