by Hickory Mack
“Have you ever played a game called ‘rock, paper, scissors’?”
“You need to straighten your legs more when you go over. Imagine a pole connecting your ankle to your hip, and you can’t bend the pole,” Winry said. They’d already done their Yoga for the morning, and then Winry had asked her to do a cartwheel. Chiori had never heard of it, and the instruction began.
Chiori tried again. She didn’t fall this time, that was a positive. Saya demonstrated for the third or fourth time with the slowest movements she could make and still do it properly. Chiori watched her critically. Her feet, that extra step before shifting to her hands, the way she bent, where she was getting the push from the spring. Chiori understood the mechanics of what she was supposed to do. Implementing it was more difficult than it looked.
“It’s just as much here as anywhere else,” Saya said, pointing to her temple. “Accept that it is okay to fall, it is okay to feel foolish, it is okay to have fun. We’re playing, it’s supposed to be fun.”
Chiori bit her lip. Was that it? Was she making it too serious? She willed herself to relax. She’d been frustrated she couldn’t get it right and forgotten to enjoy herself. Chiori took a few running steps and tried again, launching into it with more enthusiasm than before. Winry clapped and gave a cheer.
“That was better!” she praised, bumping Saya’s fist. A few more tries and she had it. She knew it as soon as she did it.
“Yes!” Saya cheered and Chiori did a little celebration dance.
“Remember how it felt. Do it again,” Winry said, a broad smile on her face. Chiori grinned and launched herself into another perfect cartwheel. She did a few more before Winry declared her capable and directed the girls to drink some water before embarking on their hike.
Chiori powered through her strongest trek with Winry thus far, and she still had a bit of spring left in her step when they made it back to the top. Saya accompanied her back to the house so she could shower and eat a quick snack. Chiori grabbed a random outfit from the wardrobe and marched into the bathroom. The wolf waited until she heard the water running before giving the bedroom a quick once-over. Satisfied there was nothing that needed attention, she left the rooms. Mai would be there soon.
Chiori kneeled on the bottom of the tub and let the water wash over her. She missed Lord Makkai terribly, and she had to make a decision about Kai before she saw him again. She couldn’t face him without knowing what she was going to say, but it wasn’t fair to continue making him wait.
He’d already admitted it was painful and difficult for him. Chiori curled up into a little ball, holding herself tight. Her emotional state gave her power room to wriggle itself loose and it sat just below the surface, ready to burst forth. Chiori wrestled with control, and neither Makkai or her magic teacher were there to help her stamp her power into submission.
She gritted her teeth and fought back. Chiori tried to remember what Kai had taught her. Her power was strong, and it had intelligence, but it was not a separate entity. To control it, she had to control herself. If she could calm herself down, her magic would settle. Then, when she was calm and collected, she could go to Kai and ask him to take some of her power, as Makkai had done when they’d encountered that goblin. Chiori discarded that thought immediately. She already had enough anxiety about seeing Kai again.
She couldn’t bring her problems to him and expect him to fix them. Not until they’d confronted and resolved the question of their bond. The pain in her chest wasn’t lessening, and for the first time she wondered how much of that pain came from Lord Makkai, and how much was coming from him.
Chiori lifted her head and watched the water swirl down the drain. She thought of the day the bond had formed with her magic teacher. The physical pain had been so great, she hadn’t noticed any change in her emotional pain. She hadn’t, but Kai had. She’d pried into his life and he’d admitted he’d been rejected, and how painful it was for him. It was the first time she’d noticed the vibrancy of his green eyes had dulled, they’d turned hazel and then brown.
The only time they’d been hazel again, she realized, was brief moments after they’d had contact. Her chest constricted, leaving her breathless. The headaches. He was always trying to hide how tired he was. Her rejection was doing that to him, and he’d said nothing. She wanted to know why. Why hadn’t he told her? Chiori picked through her thoughts and emotions, working to separate her feelings for Makkai from her feelings for Kai. He was kind, and patient and funny. She liked Kai.
‘No,’ she thought to herself. ‘His name is Gideon.’
He couldn’t be Kai anymore, no matter what happened with their bond. If they fixed the bond his contract with Lord Makkai would be finished. If it broke, she couldn’t expect him to stay on as her instructor, that would be a cruelty.
She liked spending time with him and learning from him, but she didn’t know if she could love him. Or if there was room in her heart for him. Chiori held her hand out, slipping into the level of concentration needed to see the lines of magic in her fingers, the pool in the palm of her hand, an angry swirling torrent. He’d taught her to see that.
Watching the little pool swirl around Chiori thought perhaps she was asking herself the wrong questions. Maybe only one question really mattered, if she was brave enough to confront the answer. Would it hurt, if he left?
She looked inside herself, searching for her bonds. Makkai’s comment about how badly she’d fried her end and how painful it must be bothered her. Chiori looked for several minutes before giving up, she didn’t know what she was looking for, let alone how to find it. How bad could it really be? Yuuki would know.
Yuuki.
Chiori sat up and sucked in a gasp, understanding clicked into place. Yuuki had known the whole time, she’d seen everything with those purple eyes. She’d dropped so many hints, but claimed it wasn’t her story to tell.
Chiori washed and rinsed quickly, hoping she could get enough time to speak with the sprite before class with Ichio. Yuuki could tell her what to do about the bond with Gideon. She hopped out, dried off and dressed in record time, but she’d spent too much time in the shower. A knock came at the door.
“Lady Chiori, we’re going to be late,” Mai’s voice came through the door.
Crap.
Chiori tossed her towel on the hook and hung up her clothes from Winry’s class. There was nothing to do about her wet hair, so she threw it up in a messy bun and dashed out. Mai gave her an appraising look.
“Are you okay my Lady?” she asked. Chiori shook her head, her body answering for her.
“I’m fine,” she contradicted. “Are we inside today?”
“Yes.”
“Thank the gods,” Chiori said and Mai grinned. If they ran they’d make it on time.
She barely made it through Ichio’s class. The stag had little patience for her distracted behavior. When lunchtime came, Yuuki was not there, and when Saya went to fetch her, she wasn’t in her room.
They talked without her. As delicately as possible, Chiori told the girls that she loved them, they were the best friends she’d ever had, even if they were forced into it. Saya was the first to deny it, Nakia and Mai followed quickly, but she noticed Hina was slow to say the same.
“I want you to be able to live your lives, you shouldn’t be constantly worried about what I’m doing, where I am, what clothes I’m wearing,” Chiori said.
“You were forced to grow up too quickly,” Nakia said. “You were not treasured as a child is supposed to be treasured. There should have been a parent in your life that cared about these same things, it is the absence of that parent that makes this so difficult for you.”
“We like doing these things for you,” Mai said.
“And we like you, just for being you,” Saya agreed.
“There are five of us, we have plenty of time to live our own lives. We had the entire day free yesterday,” Nakia said. “The truth is we’ve been bored out of our minds.”
“Nothi
ng happens around here, not since Lord Makkai put the other Lords in their places. It’s all been boring politics. The biggest news was when Moscow left again, and that was over a decade ago,” Mai said.
“Amen,” Nakia smiled.
“We aren’t here because we have to be. We volunteered, we wanted to be here. Now that we know you, you’re not getting rid of us,” Saya flashed a toothy grin.
“She’s right. You’re stuck with us,” Mai said.
“We know you need more space, more time for yourself. It’s undoubtedly overwhelming to be here, constantly surrounded by people. We’ll give you your space. As much of it as you need. So long as there’s compromise,” Nakia said. The other three girls nodded their agreement with this.
“We won’t stop you from going to the tree, or wherever you need to be. What we need is you to tell someone you’re going there. We can’t keep you safe or take care of your needs or be there if you need a friend, if nobody knows where you are,” Mai said.
“But-” Chiori started.
“We don’t care if it’s three in the morning. We’d rather know where you are than wake up and find you missing,” Saya said, cocking an eyebrow. Chiori stared at her lap guiltily.
“Is that agreeable to you, Lady Chiori?” Nakia asked. Four sets of demon eyes watched her reaction.
“Yes, it is,” she said. “Thank you, for this.”
“We’ll gently bully you into accepting our growing adoration and concern any time you need us to,” Nakia snickered.
“Maybe not too often, though?” Mai requested.
“No. Hopefully not again,” Chiori said.
“Awe,” Mai left her seat and squeezed Chiori in a tight hug. “She’s so cute.”
“Adorable,” Nakia agreed. “Get her back to Ichio, please. Don’t worry about Yuuki, I’ll find her and fill her in on everything, and make sure she comes to you before bedtime.”
One anxiety checked off the list, Chiori followed Mai back to Ichio’s class, where she failed miserably at listening to him talk about the origin of the original witch spirits. Any other day she’d be intensely interested, hanging on his every word. Today it was all she could do to keep her lunch in her stomach as it tied itself in nervous knots. When the hour was up Ichio gently touched her forehead and sighed.
“I suppose we will revisit this discussion next time,” he said, his voice dripping with disappointment.
“I’m sorry, Ichio Sama,” Chiori sank into a bow. He waved her away with one hand. Chiori exited the classroom, her feet leaden. Mai stopped halfway down the hall to Kai’s class. Chiori looked around the swan demon’s shoulder.
The boy approaching them looked familiar. He was Chiori’s age, brown hair, brown eyes, he was full of energy, but he looked nervous. He bowed deeply. Mori, she remembered. His name was Mori.
“Master Kai sent me with a message, my Lady. He will not be able to attend class as your magic teacher today. He sends his regrets and apologies. Also,” Mori hesitated, glancing up at Chiori, “he says not to worry.”
Chiori felt her heart sink into the ground.
“Did he say what was wrong? Does he need anything?” she asked, her mouth suddenly dry.
“Only that you get some rest, my Lady,” the boy said.
“Thank you, Mori,” Mai said, releasing him when the silence stretched uncomfortably long. She turned to Chiori, worried by how pale the girl had become. “Maybe he needed to go hunting, my Lady. He’s been looking pretty in need of a good hunt the past few days.”
“Maybe,” Chiori said, shaken. “I want to go back to the library for a while, if that’s okay? I need some quiet time.”
“Of course.”
A few hours later Nakia came to collect her for dinner, but Chiori didn’t want to go. She was unresolved, moody and wanted to stay locked up in her brooding.
“I can take her to dinner in a little while. I’ve got a pretty good idea of what’s going on, and you’re right, we need to talk, Lady Chiori.” Chiori looked up with relief, it was Yuuki, finally.
“What are you talking about?” Nakia asked.
“We’re going to go somewhere for a little chat, and I’ll explain when I come back, if that’s okay with you, Lady Chiori?” Yuuki said and Chiori nodded, shrugging her shoulders. It was going to get out anyway. Nakia crossed her arms, but nodded and stepped aside for Yuuki to pass by. She tucked Chiori’s hand under her arm and led her through the house. The sprite let Chiori think, not striking up a conversation until they turned away from the main hall.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I think there’s something you need to see before we talk. It’s important.”
“Okay,” Chiori agreed. Yuuki turned them down a different hall where Asuka was leaving one of the rooms. The fae woman walked past them, shaking her head at Yuuki.
“Hello Asuka,” Chiori said.
“There’s nothing I can do,” Asuka said to Yuuki, nodding to Chiori in passing.
“I know,” Yuuki replied, leaving Chiori confused. They stopped outside the same door Asuka had exited and Yuuki took a bell out of her pocket and handed it to Chiori. “Call for me when you’re ready.”
“What do you mean? Ready for what?” Chiori asked. Yuuki tapped on the door.
“It’s me, may I come in?” Yuuki asked.
“Yeah, Yuuki, that’s fine,” Kai’s voice came, he sounded exhausted. Chiori pulled back but Yuuki kept a firm hand on her.
“He’s fading. Fix it,” Yuuki said quietly. She opened the door, shoved Chiori through and shut it behind her, whispering an apology she walked away.
Chapter 34
Chiori stumbled on her way in. She crossed her arms in front of herself protectively and looked up, slowly. It felt like her face was on fire. She was going to kill Yuuki when this was over.
Kai’s room was simple. His futon was laid out, his blankets unwrinkled. Bookshelves lined one wall, there were two chairs pushed close together, and a desk with an extra lamp, both were on, but turned low. An uneaten plate from lunch sat on the edge of the desk, which was crowded with books. Kai had turned to greet Yuuki. His usual easy demeanor was gone, his face was strained, his eyes were bloodshot.
“Lady Chiori,” he said in surprise, standing quickly and offering her a chair.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing here. Yuuki just, I don’t know what she’s doing. Are, are you okay, um, Gideon?” she asked, standing awkwardly.
“I’m fine, my Lady,” he said, looking up quickly at her use of his name, his voice low. Chiori noticed his eyes, they were dull, and completely brown, any trace of the brilliant green lost. Even his hair was limp, flat against his head. Her heart gave a little squeeze seeing him look so broken. She could almost feel Lord Makkai nudging her toward him and she took a step forward.
“You don’t look fine, you look sick. What’s going on with you, why was Asuka here?” she asked. “Maybe you should sit,” she added when he wobbled, looking ready to fall over. He did as she suggested without arguing and took a settling breath.
“You’re lying to me, even when it’s making you sick like this you’re trying to hide it,” Chiori said, biting her lower lip. “I don’t understand why. Look at yourself, you can’t even stand properly, this does concern me. This is my fault, isn’t it?”
“No. No, this isn’t your fault. It’s my own damned fault, I stayed quiet for too long. I didn’t want to come to you in such a pathetic state, I didn’t want to tell you like this at all. I specifically asked Yuuki not to say anything, made her promise, actually. It looks like she found another way to intervene,” he said.
“I knew you were tired, that there was something off, but I didn’t know why, or that it was this bad. I thought maybe you weren’t sleeping enough, but I think I know the answer now. How can we fix it? Is your headache back? We have a whole freaking castle of demons here, whatever you need, somebody can help,” Chiori said. Gideon sighed and shook his head.
“Not one of those demons out ther
e can help me, Lady Chiori. It has to be you,” he said.
“How?” she asked.
“You told me to be open with my bonded. I was afraid, so I didn’t, but I should have told you right then, that moment. It’s you. I bonded to you, Lady Chiori,” he said, looking at the floor in front of her feet.
“I know. I mean, I do now, I didn’t know until Lord Makkai told me yesterday,” Chiori said and Gideon flinched.
“Lord Makkai knows. I’m not dead yet, so I guess that’s good news,” he said.
“He knew when it happened. He said he didn’t come so we'd have space to get to know each other. So he’s known for a while now. I didn’t know all this time, I was hurting you and had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me? I practically ordered you to, it was the perfect opportunity,” Chiori said.
“I think, for the same reason you didn’t come to me when Lord Makkai brought you back last night. You knew then.” His fingers touched something in the air between them, close to his chest, curling it around his fingers.
Chiori stepped forward, she could almost see it. “This hasn’t changed. You haven’t accepted me.”
“I needed time to think,” she said. She couldn’t meet his eyes, either.
“That’s reasonable. I had a lot to think about, too. It’s pretty much the only goal of a male witch from a young age. A lot rides on finding our mate, being accepted by her. I could finally be worth something more than an object to my coven. I can carry on my mother’s bloodline with an actual witch. With you. That, for me, is huge,” Gideon said, finally looking up, he gave her a brief smile.
“A witch is only half of who I am. My incubus half is the reason they view me as an object to be used. That half of me isn’t a monogamous creature. I needed to know if I could be bonded and be faithful. What’s the point of bonding with you if all I’ll ever do is make you unhappy? I didn’t want that for us, but I’ve never met another of my kind so I had no one with experience to ask those questions. Through a bit of experimentation, I’ve since discovered the answer is yes. I can and will be forever loyal to you.”
