by Hickory Mack
“I needed to know that before I said anything. With the bond nearly severed the way it is, I wanted to be your friend first. I hoped you would accept me on your own, without feeling forced,” Gideon said. “Maybe that’s dumb, yeah?”
Chiori shook her head. Her biggest objection to the mating bond was that it took away her choice. He’d given it back to her.
“That’s not dumb, that’s exactly what I wanted,” Chiori admitted, “but, that wasn’t a fair hope to have. That’s expecting a lot of someone that doesn’t know what’s going on. I couldn’t even feel it, I didn’t know you were waiting to be accepted.”
“Are you sure about that? You didn’t feel anything at all?” Gideon asked. Chiori wondered, maybe it wasn’t entirely true. Something had tugged her toward him, even before he’d kissed her to sleep. Yuuki had told her he couldn’t influence her into feeling anything she didn’t feel naturally. She shifted her weight uncomfortably.
“I don’t know. Maybe,” she admitted.
“Hmm,” Gideon replied.
“Yuuki said something about you fading? What does that mean?” Chiori changed the subject.
“Yuuki said that did she?” Gideon said.
“She told me to fix it,” Chiori said.
“It’s something I didn’t want you to know about, I didn’t want you to feel pressured. It happened faster than I guessed it would. Who knew I was so weak?” Gideon scoffed at himself. “It’s my incubus side. They like the word sylvan here. I’m sure by now you’ve heard from others what those names mean. I can eat regular food, but it doesn’t nourish me.”
“To survive, and thrive, I feed on emotion and touch. I need both to live. I can skip a day or two if I need to, but usually I feed every day. It isn’t difficult, I rarely need to hunt, they come to me willingly, demanding my services. As it turns out, if I go too long without contact, I get sick,” Gideon said.
“How long is too long?” Chiori asked, twining her fingers together.
“I’d say three days. I went out hunting the day after our bond formed and it was the most peculiar thing I’d ever experienced. As I walked through the woods, a nymph came to me and I didn’t want her,” Gideon chuckled, then winced.
“I know without a doubt that I would be faithful to you because the idea of letting that woman touch me, of taking in her emotions disgusted me. I’ve tried a few other times and the same thing happened each time. We have a rejected bond, but it’s still doggedly tethering us together. My half is desperate, holding on tight, and your half is charred and frayed and nearly destroyed.”
Chiori flinched at his description. It fit what Makkai had told her.
“It wouldn’t take much to finish severing it. If you decide to send me off, I’ll leave here, they’ll find you a new magic teacher and there won’t be any hard feelings on my end. What you should know is, when it breaks it will hurt,” Gideon said.
“Makkai said the same,” Chiori muttered.
“If you decide to accept me, our bond will take over and sustain me. I won’t push you, you don’t have to decide right this moment. All I ask is please, please make your decision soon. I’ll accept it without complaint either way. It’s just, I’m starving to death, and it’s very painful. My incubi magic is gone. I’m nothing like this,” he said, his fingers pressed between his knees. Chiori’s hand covered her mouth, her eyes wide.
“You’re dying? That’s what fading means, I’m killing you?!” Chiori demanded, shocked. The way he looked now, defeated and listless, that was her fault. The guilt squeezed her chest mercilessly.
“If the bond is left the way it is, yes,” Gideon answered.
“Lord Makkai wants me to accept you,” Chiori said, more to herself than to him.
“It isn’t his decision,” Gideon said, dropping his head into his hands, the headache pulsing in a deep rhythmic throb.
“He said that, too,” she muttered.
“It’s okay to sever it, you don’t have to feel guilty and I won’t try to stop you. You’ve got all the power here, do what’s best for you,” Gideon said.
“The fact that it exists at all is proof we have the chance to be special to each other, right? Why do you think I want to sever it?” Chiori frowned and her brow crinkled. Gideon looked up, though the movement caused his head a great amount of pain.
“Because I’m a fucking sex demon, Lady Chiori,” Gideon said bitterly. “I know you’re young, but there’s no way you’re too naïve to know what that means. I survive by making women, and sometimes men fall in love with me, I have sex with them so I can feed off their touch and their emotions. If I forget myself and use too much power those people become addicts, forever searching for more. I’ve destroyed lives, sometimes completely by accident, and sometimes to be a vindictive jerk. I’m a parasite, and I’m not a good person.”
“If you keep me around, you’ll be answering personally intimate questions and facing down accusations for the rest of your life, because of your association with me. My loyalty will always be under question, if not by you, than by those around you. Your standards, your prestige and your judgement of character will all be questioned. You said Lord Makkai wants you to accept me? Does he actually know it’s me?” Gideon asked.
Chiori bit her lip and looked away. She could feel his fear, it was so potent she could almost taste it.
“That’s what I thought,” Gideon said. “Just do it, please.”
“He didn’t know it was you, but I did. As soon as he told me I had another bond I knew,” she replied, fussing with the hem of her shirt.
“Makkai said whomever it is, I can keep them. Your contract with him would be ended and you’d be mine, free to come and go as you please. As for all that other stuff, I don’t care what other people think, and I won’t tolerate their disrespect. I’ve been through worse alone, but I’m not alone anymore. I have Lord Makkai standing by my side, do you really think I’d be afraid of anyone who isn’t already dead?”
“He gives you the confidence to act boldly, but you’re not thinking this through properly. I have wealth, and notoriety, but that’s it. I have nothing of real value to offer you. No family, no title, no prestige,” Gideon said.
“I have even less to offer you,” Chiori countered. “I have no wealth, everything I have has been given to me. I have no family. I have only myself. You’re pushing me away, like you want me to sever the bond. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do, you shouldn’t be forced into this anymore than I should. What do you want, Gideon? Which choice would you make?” Chiori asked. He was quiet for a long time, weighing his answer. He looked up at her, the fear so plainly evident in his eyes.
“I’d choose the bond. No more preying on people. No more hunting and using them to sustain myself. I’ll have you, and you’re all I’d need. Our bond will sustain me and I can live a normal life, like anyone else. I know it’s selfish, and it puts a lot of pressure on you, asking you to be that person for me. Even if you never love me like you love Lord Makkai, it’s what I want,” Gideon answered, laying his vulnerability bare. Chiori gave herself the freedom to think about it for a minute, but she was kidding herself. She knew what she wanted to do.
“How do I do it?” she asked.
“What?” Gideon whispered.
“It’s my fault, right? It’s my half of the bond that’s messed up, how do I fix it? Do I need to go outside and shout to the stars that I accept you? Tell me what to do, Sensei,” Chiori said.
“Bonds start with a touch, but I don’t think that’s enough anymore,” Gideon said, sliding from his chair to his knees on the floor, offering his palm. Chiori gingerly touched the center, flinching and expecting pain, but nothing happened. She slid her hand into his and Gideon tugged her closer, wrapped his arms around her middle and rested his head on her chest.
Chiori stiffened momentarily, but the urge to pull away as she did with everyone who wasn't Makkai didn't surface. She softened and touched his hair tentatively, willing herself to f
eel their bond. Chiori hugged him back, tightening her hold on him, closing her eyes and searching. There was nothing.
“Is there anything specific I need to do?” she asked again when it became apparent nothing was going to happen on its own.
“Let me in. Let us be okay in your heart. Choose to accept me in your head, and your heart will follow,” Gideon said, not exactly the most detailed description he’d ever given her.
Chiori closed her eyes and thought about him, stroking his hair as she did. She thought of his patience while teaching her, and of his friendliness from the moment they’d met, offering his hand. She’d rejected him even then, too wrapped up in Lord Makkai to want the touch of anyone else in even the most innocent scenarios.
Chiori thought of Mary, the sister from her journal, so happy with her second bond. She thought of his kisses, both innocent, both given selflessly while he literally starved for her love. Her stomach fluttered thinking about those kisses, but that wasn’t the feeling she was looking for, she was sure of it.
Chiori looked over his head at the pile of books on his desk and her heart stopped for a beat when she made the connection. She held him a little tighter and he returned it. He could do nothing but hope she had it inside of herself to love him, even the tiniest bit.
“Are those… Are you still looking for my family?” she asked.
“I promised I would find what I could,” he said. That was it, the thought she needed, everything fell into place with a satisfying ‘click’. He cared about her, and despite what he claimed, he was a genuinely good person. When she’d needed to help Mai he’d been there, no judgement or questions asked. Chiori felt something in her heart crack. He was helping her selflessly, knowing he wouldn’t benefit from what he was doing because he was dying, refusing to tell her what was happening, giving her a choice.
The crack splintered and Chiori envisioned the charred blackness falling away from her end of the bond, leaving the thin, fragile line red and raw and throbbing. They cried out at the same time, experiencing the pain together. He held her up when her knees gave way, helping her slide down without injuring herself.
“This, is what you’ve been feeling?” Chiori gasped, clutching her heart. “How have you been functioning like this?”
“No, this is your pain and my pain, but it can heal now,” he hugged her tight around the waist, nuzzling his face into her hair. “You accepted me.” Chiori pressed her forehead against his chest, wondering what she’d gotten herself into.
“I’m sorry I took so long,” she whispered to the fabric of his shirt. Her chest felt raw, her heart had taken on the tempo of a jack hammer and her head throbbed. “You’ve lost your contract. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“It’s a little late for that question isn’t it?” Kai laughed lightly. “Honestly I’m perfectly okay with that, so long as I play by the rules and stay in your good graces it’s a safe bet to say I’m protected among the people of this house. You’ve tied yourself to an incubus. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“I think so. I guess we’ll have to work around that side of you somehow. Lord Makkai says I’m not to be considered an adult for at least seven more years,” Chiori said, scrunching her face up when he stiffened in reaction to her words. She’d read more of Ichio’s journal. She knew what was needed to seal a mating bond and Makkai was right, she wasn’t ready.
“You’ve already had that conversation with him?” Gideon frowned.
“I pushed it on him, I was being needy and demanded to know when we could be together permanently. He said, ‘Not until you’re an adult, Little One.’” Chiori tried to imitate Makkai’s deep voice and Gideon laughed. “I didn’t know what I was asking him then.”
“You do now?” Gideon asked.
“Yeah, I know,” she answered his shirt, refusing to look up at him.
“Well, to be upfront about it, you’re as safe with me as you are with him. I need physical contact as much as I need emotion, but I am not sexually interested in a child, my Lady,” he stroked a hand up her spine and she shivered. “This is enough for now, and will continue to be for a long time.”
“What is your plan for when our bond starts to strengthen? Will you leave before it gets too difficult to be apart and tell me it’s for the betterment of everyone’s future?” Chiori asked angry with herself for not asking before she’d accepted their bond.
“Lord Makkai and I are very different people. He doesn’t strike me as the kind to openly show emotion. In the conversations we’ve had he is direct, succinct and calculating. When you come around everything about him is softer, more approachable. You’ve touched him deeply. If he’s staying away, I’m sure he has a good reason. He’s probably worried he won’t be able to let you go, which is understandable. He wants to protect you, even from himself,” Gideon said.
“As for me, I freely admit I’m not as strong willed as he is. I’ll be here, right by your side, letting our bond grow as it will. I’m your magic teacher after all. Where else would I be?”
“No desire to stuff me in a protective bubble until I’m old and gray?” she asked.
“None. At least not yet,” he said, rubbing circles into the skin on the back of her neck.
“Sounds reasonable,” Chiori sat back on her heels, the spinning in her head had slowed to a tilt. “Will you be okay now? No more fading?”
“I can feel your anxiety, and your worry. You’re not sure you made the right decision,” he said. “Don’t worry, that seems like a normal thing to worry about, I’m not judging.”
“You can get into my head?” Chiori asked. “Or am I projecting?”
“Neither. I’m not hearing any actual thoughts, I’m getting a taste of your feelings. It could be helpful in the future I guess. I’m pretty sure it means the bond is doing its thing. For future reference, positive feelings are far nicer.” He winked and her heart flip flopped. He put his hand on her cheek. “Lady Chiori, I-”
“It’s just Chiori now.” She said, covering his hand with hers.
“Chiori, then,” he said, leaning forward he kissed her mouth gently. “Thank you.”
Chiori blushed to the roots of her hair and he smiled, looking thoughtful for a moment. When her emotions hit him his smile took on a playful edge.
“Okay, that’s delicious. Your emotions have a flavor, like a mix of hazelnut and chocolate, but there’s a hint of cinnamon, too. I’ve never experienced anything like it, but no more of that until you’re older. Something to look forward to,” he wiggled his eyebrows, laughing when she gave his shoulder a gentle shove.
“Lord Makkai smells like cinnamon, and a campfire,” Chiori said, then got unsteadily to her feet.
“Hmm, maybe you’ve picked it up from him. Where are you going?” he asked. “Can you stay for a while longer?”
“You already seem to be feeling better, you can come with me, if you want. Yuuki kidnapped me before dinner, and I’m hungry,” Chiori explained, rubbing her stomach as proof. “You haven’t eaten either, we can eat in the gardens together.”
She took out her bell to call for Yuuki. Gideon looked at it curiously then snatched the bell out of her hand when he figured out what she was up to.
“Let me take you, I don’t get lost indoors and it’ll leave Yuuki wondering what happened. Perhaps we can consider it payback for the headache,” he said.
“The anxiety, too. However, Yuuki knows where the dining room is,” Chiori said, holding her hand out for the bell. He shrugged and slid his hand into hers, pocketing the bell instead.
“We’ll find it without her,” he said, tugging her out into the hallway, letting her go once they were out of his room and sliding his door shut.
“Aside from my own rooms I’ve not yet found one single thing in this house,” Chiori said, deliberately taking his hand back, and threading her fingers through his. She’d claimed him. She wouldn’t act ashamed and she wouldn’t hide it.
“You’re sure?” he asked aloud. �
��This is pretty much a public declaration, you can’t take it back.”
“I’m sure. You need it, right?” she asked and he nodded. With their bond still healing it would take days for him to be himself again, contact helped speed it up. “Everyone else will accept it or they won’t. Can you find the classroom from here?”
“I thought you wanted to eat?”
“I can find my rooms from the classroom. And the dining room is across from my rooms,” she reasoned. “I swear, anytime I go through that door, food just shows up. It could be the girls, but I think Milly has some magic I don’t know about yet.”
None of the girls were in any of Chiori’s rooms. Gideon looked around her space appreciatively, especially her well stocked bookshelves, but she didn’t give him too much time to gawk. They went through to the next set of halls and Chiori ducked her head.
“It’s um… Down here somewhere,” she said. Gideon took the bell from his pocket and gave it to her. Chiori took it, but heard voices before she rang it. Definitely Mai and Nakia. “There they are.”
All talk stopped when Chiori and Gideon entered the dining room hand in hand. Nakia’s face became a mask of calm, Mai’s mouth dropped open in an ‘o’ and Saya narrowed her eyes. Hina stared openly and Yuuki smiled, assessing Chiori’s bonds unapologetically.
“That went quicker than I expected. Though I’ve never seen something like this first hand before, so I shouldn’t have expected anything at all. I’d told everyone not to expect you back until bedtime,” Yuuki said.
“Yuuki didn’t feed me, I’m hungry,” Chiori complained, walking forward and taking the seat they’d left open for her.
“I’m sorry. I thought other things were more important,” Yuuki countered.
“Where can Gideon sit?” Chiori asked. She hadn’t released him and he stood awkwardly next to her.
