Want You to Want Me

by Lorelei James

  Last night Nolan had business to attend to, and we hadn’t even texted.

  This morning I wound up at TRIA—the Minnesota Wild’s brand-new gorgeous training facility in St. Paul—with a few former teammates, my sister and recruits for a pickup game and to hear the final details for the Whitecaps, the new NWHL women’s ice hockey franchise based in the Twin Cities in partnership with the Wild.

  Then after the game, my former teammate Carly, newly named head coach of the Whitecaps, had taken me into her office for a private meeting. She’d offered me an assistant coaching position. Full time. Lots of travel promoting the team, especially in the off-season. While the money and the benefits were good, and the contract didn’t exclude me running hockey camps as an extra source of income, I had to deflect on why I turned down their offer without seriously considering it. I wondered why the Whitecaps organization hadn’t offered me the job earlier, because I would’ve taken it.

  Lost in thought, I’d just pulled out of the parking lot when my cell phone rang through my speakers. The caller ID read: Wolf Sports North.

  Finally. I hadn’t heard from them at all last week.

  “This is Gabi Welk.”

  “Gabi. Alan. How are you?”

  “Good. And you?”

  “That’s why I’m calling. You’re on speaker conference call with Minka and CEO of Wolf Sports North, Lance Jacoby.”

  Why was the big boss in on this call? “Hello, everyone. What’s going on?”

  “I’ll cut right to it. Monday’s Tribune had a picture of you with Nolan Lund, acting CEO of Lund Industries, at some charity event. The text that accompanied the picture indicated that you’re personally involved with Mr. Lund. Is that correct?”

  “Yes, sir, it is.” I bit back my response to question the relevance, but if they mentioned it, it was likely why they were calling.

  “That puts us in an awkward position. As you know, we’ve held off announcing our new programming lineup due to the merger. With today’s announcement of LuTek acquiring Wolf Sports North, you can understand why the whispers of nepotism might cause us to rescind our offer of employment to you.”

  My feet literally hit the brakes. Thank god no one was behind me. I pulled over and flicked my flashers on. “I’m sorry, Alan. I don’t follow. Why would a tech company purchasing the station affect my employment?”

  “Because the acquiring tech company in question is a subsidiary of Lund Industries.”

  I would’ve dropped the phone if I’d been holding it. “And how was I supposed to know about that? Nolan and I don’t talk about business.”

  “You’re telling me that the man you’re involved with, who is acting interim CEO of the acquiring company, didn’t inform you of the acquisition?” His tone dripped of skepticism.

  “Let’s get something straight. Nolan wouldn’t share classified information regarding their family corporation with me or anyone else even if it wasn’t against company policy.”

  “So you’re claiming that Mr. Lund could’ve known about the acquisition but didn’t share job opening opportunities with you?”

  “No, I’m telling you that Nolan and I didn’t start dating until after my in-person interview with WSN. Not that it matters, because someone outside your network who also applied for the job is complaining about nepotism because they didn’t get the position. If it truly was nepotism at work, then Mr. Jacoby would’ve been told by someone in the executive branch of Lund Industries to make sure I got hired. That doesn’t appear to be the case, does it, Mr. Jacoby? Since I was offered the job before the LuTek acquisition announcement?”

  “Was Mr. Lund aware of your application to work at Wolf Sports North?”

  Deflection. No surprise. “Yes. But—”

  “So he could’ve smoothed the path for you.”

  “I have no clue if he could have, I just know he didn’t. I passed the various application levels on my own merit, before Nolan and I became involved.” I took a deep breath. “Let me ask you something. When I interviewed, I was informed a merger was taking place. I was not given the name of the acquiring company and I didn’t breach protocol by asking. But what if one of the other job candidates was somehow given that information?”

  That had surprised them.

  “Mr. Jacoby, with the merger in place, who do you answer to directly now? Someone in the executive branch of Lund Industries?”

  “No. As a subsidiary of LuTek, I answer to that CEO.”

  “Is Nolan Lund now the CEO of LuTek?”

  “No, he is not the CEO of LuTek. But how is that—”

  “Relevant? It’s the only thing that’s relevant as you are attempting to deny me a job that I fought for, for myself.” I paused. “Permission to be brutally honest?”

  “Granted,” Alan said.

  “Jubilee Jones applied for the same position I did. I’ve dealt with her in the past and she is not a trustworthy person. So if she gained insight from one of the Wolf Sports North employees about which company was acquiring them, she would use that classified information to her advantage.”

  “Your objection is noted, Gabi,” Alan said. “But for right now, until we gather more information, we’re suspending the hiring process with you.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “I’m sorry, but no, we feel this is a necessary step.”

  I laughed harshly. “You do realize if I had the almighty power of nepotism, all it would take is one phone call to secure my employment?”

  “Hi, Gabi, Minka here. We’re asking you not to do that.”

  That’s when I suspected Minka had leaked the acquisition info to Jubilee—they were two slimy peas in a pod. She would’ve championed Jubilee for the job over me.

  “That’s the thing. I would never do that. While I’m waiting for your verdict on my future with your company, might I suggest you find that leak? Someone in a position of authority spoke out of turn. It doesn’t take a personal connection with the Lund family to understand that a company the size of Lund Industries takes confidentiality agreements seriously.”

  “Thank you for the reminder, Gabi. We’ll be in touch.”

  After I hung up, I got back on the road and drove directly to Lund Industries.

  Since I hadn’t given Nolan a heads-up for the visit, I had to wait until someone secured a visitor’s pass for me.

  I stormed past the receptionist on his floor and booked it directly to Nolan’s office.

  Sam was on the phone and held me off until he ended the call. “Gabi. Lovely as it is to see you, today is not a good day to visit.”

  “Let me guess. Nolan had no idea about the LuTek acquisition of Wolf Sports North and he’s losing his mind.”

  Surprise flashed across Sam’s face. “How did you know?”

  “It affects me too.”

  “How?”

  “Yeah, how?” Jax said behind me.

  I whirled around. “Jax? What are you doing here?”

  “Nolan called an emergency board meeting. I’ve never heard him so infuriated. It worried me so I came to check on him. Now why don’t you tell me how this affects you?”

  Fuck my life. I paced to the alcove and Jax followed me. “I applied for a sportscasting position at Wolf Sports North.”

  “When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because you’re my boss and we were in the busiest time of year for coaches and referees. We didn’t need any extra tension between us, and we both know there would’ve been a shit ton when I told you I was exploring other career avenues.”

  “Instead, you left me in the dark and I’m guessing you’re about to leave me high and dry at Lakeside.”

  “While I don’t want to get into this here, please remember I don’t have a contract with Lakeside. Working at a rink and running rec hockey programs was never on my career path. I�
��d planned on sticking it out through the end of the season, which I have.”

  I hated how we were huffing and puffing and staring each other down.

  “Did Nolan know about you applying for a job elsewhere?”

  “Yes, I knew,” Nolan said from the doorway.

  I glanced over at him and my stomach bottomed out. I’d never seen him look like this—pinched mouth, clenched jaw, hard eyes.

  “Gabriella told me in confidence. But it’s no secret her talents are not being utilized to their fullest potential at Lakeside. Hell, Jax, you’ve even said so yourself. So don’t get pissy about this. She’s hated every minute she’s had to keep this from you.”

  Jax said nothing.

  “But what I didn’t know, as the goddamned CEO, until I read it in the damn paper this morning, was that LuTek had purchased Wolf Sports North. Apparently LuTek had been in negotiations with All Sports Central, the parent company of Wolf Sports, for two fucking months.”

  Jax’s jaw dropped. “Christ, Nolan, are you kidding me?”

  “Not even a little. Still think I’m an LI bigwig?” he said bitterly.

  Oh. My poor man. He hadn’t known and that made it so much worse for him because it would make him look incompetent, not only to employees, but to the business world at large if it got out.

  “Did you come to chew my ass too?” Nolan asked me.

  I shook my head. “I got a call from Wolf Sports North today. A conference call with Alan, the Programming head, and Lance Jacoby, the CEO.”

  “What did they want?”

  “To tell me that after seeing our picture in the paper, someone is crying nepotism about me landing the sportscasting job, since, as of today, Lund Industries owns the cable network through LuTek, and you’re the acting CEO of LI so you must’ve been all-knowing.”

  “Jesus, Gabi. I’m sorry.”

  “They’ve suspended my employment contract while they investigate.”

  Nolan didn’t cross over and take me in his arms. He just stared at me. Through me. “What did you say when they made that threat?”

  “What could I say? Beyond we weren’t involved until after my in-person interview. That it didn’t matter because you and I don’t discuss business. And that there’s a leak in their company if the nepotism bullshit had been brought up on Monday, before the acquisition deal was publicly announced.”

  Panic flitted across his face. “Did you tell them that I . . . ?”

  “No. I’d never do that to you,” I said softly. “I came here because I wanted to give you a chance to explain if for some reason you did know about the acquisition and hadn’t told me.”

  “I didn’t have a damn thing to do with you getting hired, Gabriella. You did that all on your own. You know that. I know that. And I hate that you’ve gotten caught up in this too.”

  I clenched my hands at my sides, wanting so badly to go to him, to soothe him and in doing so soothe myself. But I stayed put. Seething for both of us.

  “What’s the position?” Jax asked.

  “Co-broadcaster for the UMD men’s and women’s hockey teams.”

  Jax frowned. “Both teams? That’s a shitload of games. A ton of travel. Were you planning on driving back and forth between Duluth and the Cities?”

  Of course this would come up now. When I hadn’t even hinted to Nolan I’d have to relocate.

  “No. Contractually I’d have to live in Duluth during the preseason and until the end of the playoffs.”

  “That’s like ten months. You might as well move there.”

  I felt Nolan staring at me, but I didn’t have the guts to look at him.

  Then he laughed. A little meanly. “Well. It appears not only is my family keeping me in the dark about things that directly affect my life, but my girlfriend is too.”

  “Nolan—”

  “I don’t want to hear an excuse. I deserved to know about that employment stipulation as soon as you did, because we were making plans for a future together.”

  “Were? Don’t you mean are?”

  He jammed his hand through his hair. “I don’t know fuck-all about anything anymore, even things I was one hundred percent sure about this morning. This day is an example of epic failure and for once, I’m not the one who’s gonna shoulder the blame for it.”

  My spirit, my hope . . . crumpled.

  “One thing I do know is this is still my office and I’ll ask you both once to get out while I prepare for the board meeting.” He walked away and the door slammed behind him.

  Jax swore and went after him, but Sam blocked his path. “You heard my boss. Go visit your wife, Jax. Maybe she can help you understand why your family shut out one of their own.”

  I waited until Jax had left to make my own escape.

  Sam didn’t acknowledge me at all as I slunk past his desk.

  I managed to hold it together until I shut myself in the privacy of my truck. Then I sobbed for everything I’d lost today. But thinking about all that Nolan had lost, that’s when the dam really broke. I’d caused some of his pain, instead of being his safe harbor against the rest of the tides rushing over him.

  Oh god, that hurt me like a hundred knife cuts.

  I hadn’t told him about the required move to Duluth because I knew he’d urge me to go. He would’ve put a positive spin on it and assured me we’d work it out.

  But I hadn’t trusted that we’d built a strong enough foundation yet to withstand long periods of separation. So in my fear of losing him, I’d made the decision not to tell him something that could’ve given us a chance to fortify that foundation . . . and I might’ve lost him anyway.

  I don’t remember the drive to my apartment. Once inside, I turned off my phone and crawled into bed.

  Twenty-Nine

  NOLAN

  Back when I was about five years old, I went to the office with my dad.

  For some reason he’d left me with Grandpa Jackson, which was odd because Dad knew his father was a mean old man. Even more odd was that Grandpa had wanted to play a game with me, when normally, he just scowled at me and called me “the spare” or worse.

  Eager to please, I listened intently to the rules of the game, which would result in five marshmallow cream eggs if I made it through all five levels—but that was the trick. If I made it through two levels, I didn’t get two eggs. I got nothing. Four levels? Nothing. Only winning all five levels would earn me the prize.

  Being a typical kid, I’d complained that it wasn’t fair. Shouldn’t I be rewarded for trying?

  If he could’ve gotten away with boxing my ears, he would have. Instead, he’d grabbed me by the arm and jerked me close enough that I wouldn’t miss a word of his wisdom.

  Life wasn’t fair.

  Trying wasn’t winning.

  If you gave up you deserved to lose everything no matter how hard you thought you’d worked for it.

  As an adult, I understood his message better than the young boy who’d just wanted a grandpa who wasn’t a candy-hoarding, name-calling, rough-grabbing, mean-mouthed asshole.

  I kept that lesson in mind as I strode into the Lund Industries boardroom. I’d intentionally showed up ten minutes late so no one had a chance to waylay me beforehand.

  LI used a nondescript table for board meetings. But the chairs were comfortable for those few times a year when meetings ran long. In years past, I’d always sat somewhere in the middle of the table, usually next to my cousin Walker so I could kick his chair whenever he dozed off.

  Today, even though my dad had made it to the meeting, I had the head of the table. My uncle Monte sat at the opposite end. The only unoccupied chair belonged to Dallas as she was off on another adventure. I looked at this group of people I loved and forced down the anger that had been burning in me since late last night when I’d discovered the duplicity.

  “G
ood afternoon. I know it was sudden notice and I appreciate everyone taking time from their busy day to attend this meeting. I can’t promise it’ll be brief, but it will be thorough. Bear with me while I bring everyone up to speed on events that led to this meeting.

  “Several weeks ago I met with Zosia Lund. She mentioned two things that disturbed me. First, that none of the LI executive officers would take the time to meet with her.” I shot Brady and Ash each a look and I was pleased to see embarrassment on both of their faces. “Second, she’d learned from a Duluth Chamber of Commerce member that LuTek had recently purchased ESP, a manufacturing company in her town. I was shocked by the news for her sake since it’s always been LI company policy to give notice to any LI business conducted in Duluth. On a personal level, I was mortified because I knew nothing about the acquisition. Nothing,” I repeated. “An acquisition I’ve since learned cost ten million dollars.” My gaze scanned the room. “Show of hands. Who was aware of the purchase of ESP through LuTek prior to it happening and not after the fact?”

  Brady’s hand went up.

  Ash’s hand went up.

  My dad’s hand went up.

  My mom’s hand went up.

  “Who knew about the expenditure only after the transaction had happened?”

  My uncle Monte’s hand went up.

  My uncle Ward’s hand went up.

  My aunt Selka’s hand went up.

  My aunt Cilla’s hand went up.

  “Who had no idea about this expenditure at all?”

  Jensen, Walker, Annika, Jax and the three nonfamily members we were required to have on the board all raised their hands.

  “The executive officers spent ten million dollars without bringing it to the board. Correct me if I’m wrong, Monte, but that’s not how this is supposed to work, is it?”

  “No, Nolan, we have proposal procedures to prevent this sort of situation.”

  The room was much quieter than I’d imagined it would be, as those not in the loop were glaring at the executive officers.

  “After Zosia brought the issue to my attention, I attempted to find a paper trail so I could see if there was a legitimate reason we’d been uninformed of this acquisition. But I found nothing. As a subsidiary, LuTek’s offices aren’t in this building, so it wasn’t like I could pop down to floor fifteen and ask for duplicate copies. Last week, right after Archer’s heart attack, I stayed in the boardroom to add to my notes and I noticed a separate server listed that’s only accessible on this floor to the executive officers. I’m guessing if you don’t work on this floor regularly you never would’ve noticed it.