Within the Wonder

by A. K. Koonce

  This realm has changed me though. It’ll take more than a pretty story for me to trust anyone here.

  “I want to speak to Kais St. Croix.” My lips thin as I tip my head high, trying to keep my composure through all of this. “He’s my friend, and I really need him. I don’t want to be in a new place without a friend,” I say as kindly as possible, while inside, I’m screaming from the mess of madness I’ve fallen into here.

  “Of course. Kais is welcome here.” His palms lift at his sides, and I realize how very direct he is with that statement.

  Just Kais.

  “What about the others? What about the other newcomers who have fallen through your portal that you created?” The inside of my cheek stings with pain from how hard I’m biting it, but I have to force myself not to be outraged from what I know this man is doing.

  He’s searching for happiness while leaving the rest of the world miserable.

  That’s not how this is going to work.

  “The others have their own kingdom,” he tells me with the calmest of tones.

  Lighton’s attention slips from John to me and lingers there on my narrowed eyes and clenched jaw. His long fingers twitch at his side, but he never reaches for me.

  At least one person in the room isn’t completely fucking insane.

  It’s just shocking that it’s Lighton though.

  John wants me to stay. I want the newcomers.

  “I’d like to stay.” That fake pleasant smile pulls at my lips, and it brightens his own happiness, but it wavers when I speak again. “I’d also like to give you a list of names, and I’d like those people to join us in Wonderland. To make me feel comfortable and to give an example of what it would be like if we removed the barrier separating the two kingdoms.” I’m incredibly careful with my words. I can’t make demands. But in a way…I can.

  “How many names are we talking about?” He’s so serious now. The easy persona is gone, and John now looks at me like I’m not a granddaughter to him, but a crazy aunt asking for money he doesn’t seem to want to pay.

  “A few. Less than five.”

  “Four,” he says flatly.

  Wow. Dear old grandpa has a poker face.

  “Fine.” I mentally start making a list of names as he starts to find his good-natured amusement once again.

  “Lighton will show you to your room. There will be a festival tonight. The nightlife in Wonderland is unlike anything you’ve ever seen.”

  Lighton coughs, clearing his throat and gasping so hard I’m sure he’ll keel over at any minute.

  Neither of us check on the dying March Hare.

  Just as the Elder of Wonderland turns to leave, a shadow falls across the room. It breezes in, swirling and drifting before landing on two feet with a young girl tucked in the shadow man’s arms.

  “That was most peculiar,” New Alice tells her shadow friend, her hands clapping together like it was the best ride she’s ever nearly died on.

  I hate her.

  I wipe the bitterness from my lips just as Johnathan tilts his head, his gaze passing over me before trailing over the young girl who is placed on her own two feet by the shadow man.

  “Hello. I’m Gwenevere Blight. Your home is very lovely.” Her beaming happiness hurts my little black heart as it shines onto me in full, brilliant effect.

  And I stare at the woman who is without a doubt the person I’m pretending to be. I have the last name, but she has the prophecy.

  Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

  Three

  Madison

  The sweetest traitorous man stands blocking what I can only assume is my bedroom.

  “I might not see you for a while,” he whispers, as if anyone in the empty stairwell gives a fuck.

  My arms fold, and his gaze follows that stiff gesture.

  “I know you’re mad—”

  “Furious.” My teeth grind together, and I force myself not to say all the angry things that are slamming through my mind.

  “I can explain.” His fingers lightly touch my arm, and I step back from him, my gaze holding hard on those soft brown puppy dog eyes.

  “Explain to me how you had me alone time and time again until I trusted you more than anyone. I trusted you, Lighton! And you. You. Fucking. Used. Me.”

  Just like everyone else here. At least Kais has the balls to be honest about using me.

  “I did it—” Wild eyes widen, and his words cut short, and I know then that this is just another example of all the bad that lives inside the good. Just like Alixx said.

  Lighton Farrow was one of the best men I’ve ever met. But he’s bad.

  We all are.

  Some more than others.

  “You did it for your own benefit, didn’t you, Light?” My head nods even if he never speaks. I pull together all the things I know and even the things I don’t, and the puzzle that forms in my mind is a disgusting, disfigured image that makes my stomach sink and twist so painfully it’s hard to breathe. “You used my information to feed to Liddell, and in return, he gave you power. Like the smoke magic. And…something more. Something more important than smoke magic.”

  “Madison, that’s not it. I don’t want power.”

  “What do you want then?” I reclaim that retreating step that I cowered away from him with, and I use it to get right up in his face. “You didn’t do it for me. Whatever you did it for, was for you. That’s completely fucking obvious. Now leave.”

  His long lashes close, his Adam’s apple working slowly before he finally opens his eyes to me once again. “I did what Elder Liddell asked, and now that you’re here…I won’t be invited back.” His hand lifts, but I shake my head just once, and he drops his hand to his side, never even skimming my skin with the feel of his touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his head tilting low, almost touching mine but not quite.

  It hurts for me to hear his apology. Maybe because it’s not enough to fix what he broke.

  He broke my trust. He broke my heart. He broke us.

  “Leave,” I say on a shaking breath that pains my lungs as well as my heart.

  Dark eyes trail across every single emotion that I’m hiding away. His gaze feels cutting and painful to stare into, and if he stays for a second longer, I’ll crack into a million pieces that he’ll never be able to pick up.

  So he does exactly what I told him to do.

  He leaves.

  Our emotions are so strange. It hurts for him to go, but it hurts less than him being here for me to stare into the endless guilt in his gaze.

  My emotions are so screwed up.

  The cool metal handle presses to my palm, and I slip inside, shutting the door safely behind me and catching my shaking breath there as I lean into the wooden frame.

  Lighton used me.

  I trusted these men. I trusted them when I didn’t even know them. Those men who attacked, Kais murdered dozens in a matter of minutes. How? How did he do that?

  And Alixx. He’s exactly what he’s always shown himself to be: a self-centered fuck who doesn’t care for anyone. I just realized it too late.

  I realized it after I already gave him too much of myself.

  The emptiness that cuts into me is easier to breathe around compared to the building tension in my chest. I let that vacant feeling spread as I walk through the large room, past the billowing white bed and to the small window on the far wall.

  A fountain carved from gold trickles peaceful, serene water down into its big basin. Unfortunately, the fountain itself is so unnerving it takes away any calm that the water provides.

  Because there she is again. The same woman from the portrait on the ceiling is spilling clear water from her mouth and glistening eyes. Her bust is life size, her waist ending in a rippling pool of shallow water that collects all around her. And they had to fucking magic this unsettling killer Annabelle, Bride of Chucky woman, to tilt her head this way and that, eyes blinking while she cries endless tears.

  Someone has got to get these peo
ple up to speed about the dangers of animating dolls and innocent objects.

  I force my gaze away from her and try to focus on anything else.

  I stare out the big shining glass. The panes reflect the sunlight with so much brilliance it gleams, casting the world in a hue of golden perfection outside. The land here feels like a different world entirely from Wanderlust. Miles and miles of open water ripple out from beneath my window. It’s a clear gentle body of clear blue liquid, not the ocean, not as rushing and pushing as an ocean, but it’s so big and endless that it can’t be a lake, can it?

  A demanding knock strums over the wooden door. I can’t help but pause, not taking a step forward but simply breaking down the sound that beat against the other side of the reclusive safety of my room.

  Lighton wouldn’t knock like that. He isn’t forceful. He’s an asshole, but he’s a gentle jerk. If that makes sense.

  Do I really want to talk to whoever is on the other side of that door?

  There’s a passing moment where I consider blowing out all the candles and hiding beneath my blankets until the stranger goes away.

  But that doesn’t seem like something the beloved Alice would do.

  I puff out a pent-up sigh.

  It sucks being Responsible Alice.

  The handle is in my hand in no time, and I pull the door open to find that it’s a stranger, just as I’d thought. I study the man, his inky hair and dark eyes taking in my choppy black wedding dress with an unimpressed trailing gaze.

  “I’m Mick. Elder Liddell said you had some names for me.”

  I arch a brow at him.

  “Where’s Lighton?”

  The smile that sneers across his lips makes me want to slap him for no apparent reason. Maybe that feeling will pass.

  “Lighton is back where he should be. His job was to deliver Alice. Two of them are now here, so it seems the spy has exceeded his duties, and all his special treatment is over. He’s a nobody once again.”

  Nope. Still want to slap him.

  “Do you have a list, Miss Alice, or should I return?” He tilts his head at me, his arms held tersely behind his back.

  Is he an advisor? The way Kais was an advisor? Or is he an Elder too?

  I search the room and quickly grab the quill and paper on a desk near the watchful Annabelle fountain. I pause to see if her water will turn to bloody tears at any minute, but I should probably just calm down on my creepy thoughts if I ever expect to actually sleep in this room.

  The uneven wood of the table sinks every stroke of the red feathered quill. It leaves a scratching sound across the paper with every move I make.

  But I jot the names down with far less penmanship than the fancy liquid ink was made for.

  Kais St. Croix

  Brody…

  Damn, I really should have paused to get to know these people and their last names. This is embarrassing.

  Catrice

  …

  I linger on that number, my quill dripping a nice big blot of black ink all over the page. Kais needs allies. I don’t even know that many people in Wanderlust. Honestly, I just want Cat here because I need a real friend who I actually trust, and no one else on this list seems to fit that description.

  Alixx’s name slips into my mind like a cold chill making me shiver.

  That’s a hard no.

  “I haven’t got all day,” the man bellows.

  I cut my attention to him just long enough to glare at the arrogant man.

  4.Lighton Farrow

  I blow a little on the paper, waving it out a bit as I walk back to the man and find that I’ve made every word on the paper run in the process, instead of helping it dry.

  Should have taken a Victorian Quill class when I was in college, I guess.

  Really living up to the flawless reputation of Alice, aren’t I?

  The man cocks a brow at the scrawled cursive that’s written at an angle because old school paper doesn’t have those nice faint blue lines on there to make me look like an adult instead of a child who doesn’t know how to use a crayon.

  “Lighton Farrow?” There’s a disgusted sound in his tone like he might spit after saying that name, and it causes me to smile in petty triumph.

  Yeah, I hate Light. But I hate this asshole even more, I think.

  “Lighton Farrow is your friend?” he all but barks.

  I blink at him. I don’t confirm it, and I don’t deny it.

  “Listen, Mack, I believe your job was to run and fetch the names on this list and bring them to me?”

  “It’s Mick, actually.”

  “Right.” A smile pulls at my lips, and I can feel the change in me. It feels good to just be honest.

  I don’t want to be that passive, pleasant little girl I’ve pretended to be since the moment I stepped foot into this place. I can help the people here. I tried it Kais’s way. I tried to be the sweet woman they all wanted me to be.

  We’re going to try it my way now.

  Four

  Madison

  “Elder Liddell, our guests have arrived.” Mickey’s lips curl at the echoed word guests, and I know my friends are just outside by the disgust written all over his face.

  “Thank you, Elder Mick, please see them in.” Elder Liddell, Gwenevere-Real-Alice-Blight, and myself stand in the elaborately painted entryway. A single empty circle table is behind me, and I lean against it just slightly.

  It’s not as if Liddell is going to toss his car keys on this random table or something. This entire room seems completely pointless except to show off that crushingly depressing artwork over head.

  Then the doors open. Pure golden sunlight washes into the room, turning the big white tile into a shimmering brightness that’s hard to look across without narrowing my eyes.

  Cat’s flawless swaying image is the first thing I see. Tight black jeans hug her hips, and a white top that ties in the front shows off every curve of her body.

  But at least she isn’t wearing the bra and panties I first met her in, so Wonderland will think she’s very modest today. Her heels click across the floor, and she smiles strangely at me. It’s a plastered smile as if she’s never actually used these muscles of her face before.

  It sets me further on edge.

  Her gaze trails slowly over me in a way I’ve never seen her do before. It’s so good to see her that the pain in my chest disappears, forgotten for just a moment.

  Her arms slip around me, fingers digging into me as she pulls me in with an overly familiar hug. Confusion passes over me for a single second, but it’s a natural response, considering the attack on my wedding. Maybe she thought I was dead.

  Maybe she just needs a friend as much as I do.

  “It’s nice to see you have friends,” Liddell says as Cat continues to press my body against hers, our breasts smooshing together almost painfully.

  “Yes—” My response is cut off when soft, full lips press to mine, lingering there for more than a second as I stiffen in her arms.

  What. The. Fuck?

  She pulls back from me, her pleasant, awkward smile still lighting up her violet eyes.

  Both Liddell and Gwen hold that ridiculous aloof happiness while Mickey can’t take his big watchful eyes off of us.

  He’s officially giving me pervy attention rather than the hateful looks I’ve grown used to, and I despise him even more now.

  “What was that?” I whisper to Cat.

  She only smiles. She doesn’t say a word. She does stumble, so hard her ankle hits the tile before she rights herself on her tall black heels.

  What in Wicked Wonderland is wrong with her?

  More figures walk quietly through the door, and at first, I can’t make one man out from the other. Until Kais’s deep blue eyes catch mine. And I can’t explain it.

  I thought I wanted Cat here as a friend.

  I thought I needed a female to really relate to all of this. I guess all I really needed was someone I trusted beyond reason from the first moment I l
aid eyes on the dangerous tattooed man who stole me away from the very start.

  My feet are moving before I realize it. The echo of my shoes clacking across the floor causes the three men to stop dead in their tracks in the middle of the room. All eyes are heavily pressed to me. Even as I fling my arms around the strong man in front of me.

  My fingers fist into his white shirt, dragging my nails over the solid muscle tone of his back, and he holds me just as hard. Every single inch of his strength surrounds me, his arms rigid as he presses me firmly to his chest. The angle of his jaw skims mine, and I can feel him breathe me slowly in.

  “I’m going to kill Lighton,” he whispers on a romantic promise.

  These men and their charming words are more than my heart can handle sometimes.

  I give myself one more second to linger in the safety of his arms.

  I step back from him, my fingers trailing slowly down the curve of his biceps before I step back entirely. I feel lighter. Until my attention drifts behind him and passes from Brody to Lighton.

  Lighton never looks away from me. He doesn’t come closer. He doesn’t speak. He just studies me like he can’t believe he’s here with me again.

  Because I wrote his name down when I could have asked for anyone else.

  Don’t let that give you the wrong message, asshole.

  I slip away from all of them, and the enormous room feels too full with so many personalities now filling it.

  “Thank you so much for joining us,” Liddell tells them.

  Kais barely looks at the man standing in front of him. His gaze lifts, following the moving mural of the crying woman in slow passing detail.

  “You remember the Maisie Mural?” Liddell gestures to the ceiling and the surrounding walls. “I had it done for my love just after she passed.”

  Passed. Passed through the exit? What a strange way to word it.

  Lighton never glances at the bright colors that drift along the walls, but his gaze lingers on Liddell. If I didn’t know better, I’d say suspicion is in his eyes. It seems no one trusts anyone in this place.