Within the Wonder

by A. K. Koonce

  Pain sinks through my heart, and I’m so sick of being reminded of my mother lately.

  I’m tired of that thick emotion that settles into me when I know there’s nothing I can do about it.

  “She’s pretty,” Maisie whispers, her metal eyes looking into me…through me. “Do you want to see her again?”

  The thing is, I’ve already seen her again. And this fucked up realm ruined a part of her that lives on in my memory. I don’t want to see her again. Not here. Not like this.

  “I want to see someone else.” My chin lifts, and I look down on her metal eyes, unyielding to whatever rules her magic must abide by.

  “We could arrange something. Is it someone who touches your heart?”

  She is.

  I nod slowly and think of all the little details I know about her.

  My eyes lift, and when I look into the depths of that shining metal, I just know what she’s about to do.

  The door slides open to wafting blue and white magic. It’s a fluid sort of water, but this time, I know exactly what’s on the other side.

  And I won’t be going alone.

  I grip Lighton’s hand in an instant and stiffen my spine for what’s about to come.

  The magic slides over my skin, but her voice rings out just before it pulls me under.

  She says the one thing that makes me choke on the strange gust of air and water.

  She says, “Maisie Torrent left because she maimed Johnathan Liddell, ridded him of his powers so he could never hurt another creature ever again. So he could never hurt her ever again.”

  And then her urgent voice is lost in the pull of static noise and whipping winds, and we come out of it all as fast as we entered.

  Shock numbs me from what the door said. All the whispered secrets fall into place, and it just makes me realize how dangerous all of this truly is.

  I’ve brought everyone I care about into the most dangerous part of this realm. And I don’t have a clue how I’m supposed to keep them safe.

  My feet stumble, and Lighton rights me with a single touch to my stomach, pulling me up close to him like he’ll always protect me.

  I know he will. I just hope what I’m doing today doesn’t take him away from me forever.

  He looks up and meets the warm smiling eyes of his sister. His mouth falls open, him staring at her, me staring at the perfect amazement of his expression.

  This moment is so monumental that the white hospital walls and the stinging smell of antiseptics, everything, everything but them, seems to fall away.

  It’s a beautiful and terrifying moment. It’s sweet and fearsome. Because some people go into this place and never return.

  And I hope Lighton isn’t one of them.

  Twenty-Five

  Lighton

  The last time I saw Amelia’s bright eyes, she was laughing over how ridiculous my suit looked on me. How I looked too much like an adult, and I should quit faking it and go back to being her dorky brother instead.

  She’s older now. I’m older. I’m different. And she’s almost exactly the same.

  Time trudged on, and she stayed right here in this hospital bed just as she is now.

  Except now she’s awake.

  “Who’s your friend?” Her golden hair is in waves along her shoulders, freshly brushed it seems. Those long locks shake with every small turn of her head. Her face is thinner, but she looks older.

  Shit, she’s nearly a teenager.

  “Um.” There are no words in my constantly turning mind. They’re there, sure, but they’re under a mound of emotion and regret.

  “I’m Madison,” a quiet voice says at my side.

  I turn to her in an instant.

  “Is this shit real? Like really real?”

  Those big eyes look at me fully, and she nods, but it’s filled with uncertainty. “I think it is… It feels real. It doesn’t feel anything like my mother and the vision I had of her.”

  There’s a sorrowful feeling twisting my stomach at the thought of all of this being some fucked up game put on by Liddell.

  But an even bigger part of me doesn’t even care. Because Amelia’s here. She’s alive and she’s awake.

  That’s all that matters.

  “Mom and Dad said you took off. Said you couldn’t handle the responsibility of it all.” Her head tilts at me.

  That’s not entirely a lie.

  As she speaks, I come closer, and I can’t help but sit at the edge of her small white bed like I always do. The sheet’s stiff and the blanket’s scratchy.

  It feels real.

  My palm shakes, but I slowly settle it over her small hand. Smooth, cold knuckles tick beneath my touch, and she lifts her pinky just enough to latch it over the top of mine.

  Just like she used to.

  “I-I got into some trouble, I guess,” I finally say to her.

  “Trouble?” Her brow furrows, and I want to not say another word and just wrap her up against me.

  “I almost fucking killed you, Mel.”

  She shakes her head, but our parents, she and myself, we all know that it’s true.

  “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so—so sorry.”

  Her little arms wrap around me before I ever get the chance to pull her close, and she’s holding me like I’m the one who needs the attention rather than her.

  “I’m fine. I’m going to be fine, Light.” Her voice is muffled against my chest, and I hate how damp my cheeks are right now. All these feelings in me are pressing to get out, and I just don’t know what to do with it all.

  I thought for sure she’d die here.

  I never told anyone that. I never said it out loud. But it was a thought that was always there at the back of my mind, sheathed in darkness, never to be shoved to the light for fear of it coming true.

  “You can’t stay for long though.” My brow tenses, and I pull back from her just enough to actually hear her voice. “Dad…dad doesn’t want me to see you, Light. Mom”—her shoulders shrug slightly—“mom just goes along with whatever dad says.”

  Tension lines my jaw, and I just keep my mouth shut for several long seconds.

  He doesn’t want me fucking up their lives again. They got her back. It doesn’t matter if they lost me in the process.

  It’s what I deserve, I guess.

  I deserve to be alone.

  Fingers push back and forth between my shoulder blades, and I smell the sweet scent of Madison’s soap before I look back at her.

  I’m not alone…not really.

  “You should go with your friend. Stay out of trouble for a while and come back once everything’s settled down.”

  Come back…

  That’s not going to happen.

  And it slices through my heart with that single thought alone.

  She’s safe and alive, and I’ll never get to see her again.

  I’ll be dead to her.

  How very fitting.

  “I have to go.” I stand abruptly, but Madison pushes me right back down at my sister’s side. I glance back at the small bossy woman. She arches an eyebrow at me, and I mock the look right back at her.

  But she’s right.

  I can’t let my sorrow drive me into autopilot.

  Not anymore.

  This is my moment with my sister.

  A real moment that I’ve worked so fucking hard for years to have.

  And now she’s here.

  “I love you, Mel.” I pull her tight against me, and she laughs into my chest, but I can feel the hot tears soaking into my shirt. “I’ll see you again someday.”

  My voice shakes over that last word as swirling magic starts to pull me away. It’s a promise I intend to keep.

  I just don’t know how.

  Twenty-Six

  Madison

  When we fall into place on a quiet windy mountainside, I’m holding him. His big body against mine leans into me, his arms around me, head tilted down until we’re solely wrapped up in just ourselves.

>   “Thank you,” he whispers into my hair.

  There’s so much peace and so many emotions vibrating between us. Some of it’s acceptance, some of it pain, and some of it feels a little like love.

  Our eyes collide with all that confusing energy between us, and we war with each other in the most wanting way. Our noses touch faintly, gazes slipping down to study parted lips, fanning hot breaths, and slight brushes of mouths.

  It feels so different than before. I feel like I need him just to pull the air from my lungs and remind me to breathe again.

  I need Lighton Farrow. I need him more than I need the breath in my lungs even.

  The first press of his lips is gentle. This feels like our first kiss more than our actual first kiss did. It’s sweet and tender and pulses tingling energy right down to my core. His hips settle against mine with a more demanding flick of his tongue, and my back scrapes into sharp jagged rocks as he firmly pins me against the side of Creatures’ Cliff.

  And then the name of this eerie mountainside becomes abundantly clear.

  A crawling growl like a screech being dragged over broken glass cuts through our lust-filled haze. My body tenses beneath Lighton’s; his shoulders are rigid strength, and we both tilt our heads ever so slowly at the thing to our left.

  Holy Wingless Fucking Monkeys.

  The thing stands tall on its hind legs, long arms hanging at its sides with claws like knives slicing from each of its furry hands. Big brown wings arch up from its wide back, but the beautiful tawny feathers are nothing more than stumps against his shoulder blades.

  Clipped wings.

  He’s been ridded of the most beautiful part of him.

  And for what? Magic? To drag a woman back into this realm who wanted nothing more than to escape it?

  “Madison,” Lighton’s hold on me digs into my skin, but we never move a single muscle, “Don’t hate me for what I’m about to do.”

  What? What does that mean?

  My fingers instinctively arch into his shoulders, my breath shaking from my lungs in little stolen breaths that barely make a frightened sound.

  Lighton takes a single step back, his boots scuffing and raking over small rocks as he leads me a few inches away from the mountain.

  The monkey’s lips pull back to reveal long cutting incisors. That howling screech of his trembles from his quivering lips.

  This is bad. I should not have laughed about the wingless monkeys.

  Another small step. Another slow slicing growl rumbles from the monkey now hunching before us, preparing to make his move.

  The air in my lungs is officially gasping sounds that are pushing from my lips and setting the beast further and further on edge with every inhale I take.

  One more step.

  Its legs bend, body tensing for a monumental blow that’s about to land.

  And then Lighton freefalls, holding me against him and soaring backward off the steep cliffside. Forceful air snaps through my hair, stealing my scream away with the deafening sound of the violent quickening wind. The strong body holding me tenses with a groan, stiffening from whatever just slammed into Lighton’s back. We tumble. Over and over again, we roll with sharp rocks cutting stinging wounds into our flesh with every turn we make.

  Worst of all, strong vicious claws rip through the mountainside, climbing down after us at an alarming pace. Its cut wings work with the creature, slowing it each time it scatters too quickly, flinging itself down and then soaring itself up to regain its footing in a symphony of leaping terror that races behind us, coming closer and closer and closer.

  Its jaw extends to release a roaring screech that ricochets off the rocks and impales into my chest with rumbling rage. One big paw extends, inky claws scratching against my neck and then sinking painfully into my shoulder blade.

  We’re so, so close to the bottom.

  Those terrorizing big dark eyes are the last thing I see before I clench my eyes closed and push my power out in slamming waves that hurt from the inside out.

  The smell of burning smoke is the last thing that registers in my mind.

  And then we’re whisked away.

  Twenty-Seven

  Madison

  My chin hits the ground so hard my teeth rattle against the taste of blood filling my mouth. The energy I put into pushing myself off of Lighton is a weak sight to be seen.

  But it isn’t seen. Because no one’s looking at the Alice of the Moment. Not even as I lie with blood pooling around me on the front steps of Liddell’s estate.

  Because the trial is still continuing in full force.

  In the middle of the grassy expanse, the Elders are staring straight ahead at the cocky man who no longer leers at them with a self-assured fuck you smile. All the color has drained from Alixx Stone’s face, so much so that his inky wings give him a sickly shadow across his angled features. Defeated eyes look past the endless Elders and land on me. Pain slices through my shoulder as my nails push into the dirt, and I try hard to really get a look at him, to understand what we’re still doing here at this trial that just always seems to loom over our lives.

  That sparking magic flickers along his arms and chest, making him wince with every flash of crimson that strikes around him.

  Just send him back to Wanderlust already.

  So I know he’ll be safe.

  “Mr. Alixx ‘The Rotter’ Elijah Stone, Son of Bram Stone, of London, England, in the year of 1910, the court of your peers finds you guilty of the heinous crimes of your past: three counts of assault on Elder Konstance, breaking and entering Wonderland, escaping exile in the first degree, and one previous count of attempted murder of Mr. Kais St. Croix.” Liddell lifts his chin higher, his eyes blazing with cruel satisfaction.

  It’s then that I know without a doubt; the Hatter truly is mad.

  “As I knew they would,” Alixx whispers, so faintly I have to make out the words humming from his thinned lips.

  “You’ve been found guilty.” Liddell passes his gaze over the adoring crowd before swinging his attention back to Alixx. “It’s been a long time since we’ve found a guilty prisoner. We’ve come to love nothing more than a good well-deserved death, my boy.”

  Murmurs of excitement crawl through the audience, my heartbeat kicking up with every little whisper that builds into a static chatter. That noise sinks into my bruised skin and comes to life within me, racing through my pulse, my chest, and my mind.

  “Kais said he’d be sent back to Wanderlust,” I whisper to myself, the words going unheard over the rising thrill of the crowd. “He said he’d be sent to isolation.” More hisses of cheers and applause. “He said it’d be fine.”

  Liddell lifts his arms from his sides as if he’ll take a bow before his fans. “We have a long night ahead of us, my friends. Elder Mick, prepare the shredding shackles for Mr. Stone!”

  Alixx is pushed face down to the dirt by the assistance of unseen magic.

  And I stand at once.

  I played my part. I did what I was supposed to do to better this cruel realm.

  But they don’t want to better themselves.

  I’m done playing games. I’m done pretending. I’m fucking done with this life.

  Mickey pushes a large metal device that has an old welded look to its boxy shape. The big box opens with a shriek of the hinges, and thin knives line the inside. Thousands and thousands of needle-like knives shine in the sunlight. He places it at the center of the watchful audience, and I take the sight of the stabbing torture chamber to be a direct threat to Alixx, to all newcomers, to my friends, and to myself.

  They want someone to punish for what’s happened to them, someone to hate, someone to be deemed the villains.

  That’s all Wonderland wanted.

  And with everything they’ve put me through, they’ve created just that.

  The End

  Thank you guys so much for reading Within the Wonder. Keep a look out for the final book, Under the Lies, which releases August 30.

&nbs
p; Preorder Under the Lies here!

  Until then, I have a special sneak peek at my newest cowritten book releasing in just THREE DAYS!

  Turn the page for an exclusive look at Academy of Six!

  Academy of Six

  Izara

  Do you ever have harmless daydreams about ripping a misogynist jerk’s dick off and shoving it down his throat until he can taste his own balls, just so he'll shut the fuck up for a little while?

  Yeah. Me neither.

  “It seems you’ve shown little to no abilities, transformations, or talents whatsoever, Miss Castillo,” Dr. Willms utters for the second time, flipping another cream page inside the folder titled: Izara Castillo, Age 19, Prodigium: Unknown.

  The folder title alone is painfully accurate: Prodigium Unknown. What kind of supernatural am I? We have no damn idea. I’m basically a human in this man’s eyes.

  Except, for the slip up that got me thrown under Academy of Six’s radar in the first place. Yes. I’m completely mundane except for that asshole my poor innocent monster supposedly killed.

  But that’s something I don’t talk about.

  Partly because I don’t remember it. And partly because it was my ex-boyfriend and when you kill an ex-boyfriend, people start throwing brash words around like ‘temperamental’ and ‘psychotic’ and all that stuff.

  Slaughter limb from limb one little ex, one time and people treat you like you’re dangerous or something.

  “That’s me. Little Miss Talentless. Are we done? Can I join the others?” I try to force the snapping words from my lips because it’s easier than admitting how much this place is getting under my skin.

  Flat black walls press in from the small space of his office. It dulls the shine of the old metal desk that separates me from the tired, old Headmaster.

  The Headmaster looks over his square rimmed glasses, his aging hazel eyes seemingly trying to search inside me with a single disturbing look.