Promised to the Pride: A Shifter Romance
Page 12
I could do this. I could do this. I—
Jonas shifted, standing tall, even in his leopard form.
Was he always so huge? Maybe he just felt so large now because of the race. Things felt more real.
Holly let out a shaky breath, moving closer to the lake. She was bundled up in her puffy coat, a hat upon her head, and yet she still looked cold. Each one of us would be more than glad to help warm her up, I knew. That would come in time. For now, the race.
“Line up,” she whispered, her voice nearly lost with the wind. The moon peeked through the cloud cover every few moments, light, dusty snow falling from the sky. Holly’s deep blue eyes seemed to sparkle in the darkness, and together, we lined up beside her.
With Nik on my left and Jonas on my right, I breathed hard. I felt small, tucked between two men who were bigger leopards than me, bigger men than me, too. I couldn’t help but feel inadequate, and I knew I had to shake those feelings off if I had any hope of winning this thing.
“Start when I say go,” Holly said. She took her time in studying us, her three mates, each of us so different from the other. My eyes were straight ahead, and still I could feel her stare when it moved to me.
She wanted me to win. I knew she did. I had to. There was no losing this, no letting my brother or Jonas win. For once, I was going to come out on top. I was going to win, and I would make sure Holly’s first shift and claiming was a gentle one. For her, I would move the world, tilt it off its axis, if I had to.
“Ready,” Holly spoke, “set…”
My claws flexed, pawing at the snow below. My back end crouched down, and I was ready to run, to show Holly that I took this seriously, that I took her seriously. This was my time to shine.
“Go.” The word left Holly’s mouth, and suddenly it was chaos and mayhem around me.
We leaped into action, moving as fast as we could. I sprung forward first, my legs working quicker. Nik was right behind me, and Jonas not too far behind him. My legs pounded the snowy ground, the same path we’d practiced on.
I would not focus on how close Nik was, or how Jonas seemed to be keeping up. I was in the lead, and that was what I would hold onto, what I’d use to push myself further. I picked up speed, working to make my lead bigger.
I had this.
My lungs threatened to burst, but I kept going, kept pushing myself. I had to. I would not let either of the ones behind me win this race. We were about halfway around when I felt my muscles start to strain. Heavy breathing wasn’t too far behind me, and I wanted to throw a look over my shoulder to see just who was keeping up. I couldn’t tell just by the breathing who it was—Nik, or Jonas.
No. No looking. It would only slow me down. And what if I tripped? What if, when my head was tossed back, I stumbled and made myself lose? No. I couldn’t do it.
Despite my insistence to keep my speed up, I could feel my legs slowing. Not much, but enough. Enough for me to notice, enough for me to open my mouth and pant as we circled the lake. Holly stood twenty feet ahead, watching.
I could make it. I would make it. I would win and—
The breathing behind me was no longer behind me; it was next to me. And I didn’t need to look squarely at him to know, based on his size, who he was. Fucking Jonas.
How the hell was he keeping up? His time was always off by a longshot—practically half a minute. Nik and I had been practicing all week, while he…while he didn’t. That’s what we assumed, but what if we were wrong? What if, while Jonas was off by himself, he’d practiced running? What if he cared about winning more than he ever let on?
I refocused on the finish line, on Holly standing there, trying to push my body to its breaking point. I ran faster than I’d ever run before, going at it harder, and yet…yet even as I passed Holly’s standing frame, I knew it wasn’t enough.
Because Jonas had passed her, first.
Just by a hair. Just by a nose, maybe a head, but it was enough.
It was enough to make Jonas skid in the snow and stand tall, breathing ragged as he looked back at me. It was enough to make Holly’s mouth drop in shock, a look of pure surprise on her face. It was enough to make my heart sink and my emotions plummet—and it was enough to make Nik not even bother to finish the race. My brother stopped himself a few feet back, his blue, metallic eyes wide.
Jonas had won. Jonas had won the race and the right to turn her, to awaken her inner beast. Fucking Jonas would claim her first, and probably lord it over us for the rest of our lives.
I turned to Jonas, baring my teeth. I couldn’t help the fact that I wanted to fight him—I felt gipped. Like I was lied to, all this time, fed spoonfuls of shit that led me to think he was this slow, lumbering thing and not a quick and fast animal in his own right.
I was very, very mad.
So mad I wanted to attack him, and I wasn’t the type of guy who got in fights.
Jonas bared his teeth to me, turning to face me. His chest heaved with heavy breaths, and for a few moments, we circled each other like vultures, both of us irate, both of us furious. Me, for being lied to, while he was just upset that I dared to challenge him.
Jonas could kiss my ass. He could kiss my ass and I wouldn’t care. I wanted to do this for Holly, to be there for her, and now—now this bastard was going to make her first time a miserable one.
I wanted to rip him apart.
Chapter Eighteen – Holly
I honestly couldn’t believe it. Jonas won the race. Not by much, but he won. He won. It wasn’t what I was expecting, not something I was preparing myself for. That day, when I first timed them all…had he gone slow on purpose, so we underestimated him? Granted, I hadn’t seen him in days, so it was quite possible he’d spent his free time running around his property while shifted, learning how to gain speed and keep it.
Crap.
Crap on a fucking crap-sicle.
My heart was near my feet. Had to be. It felt like it had dropped right out of my stomach when I saw Jonas inching closer to Aster. During the last half of the race, the big brute had pushed himself, working his legs faster, and he’d closed the distance—a seemingly impossible feat. Or at least we all had thought so, before now.
Jonas won. My first time would be with Jonas. He would turn me, claim me, and probably drag me back to my cabin and screw my brains out, marking his scent all over my bed so that when Aster and Nikolas came, they’d smell it.
I opened my mouth, unable to say anything. Nikolas had skidded to a stop, not even crossing the finish line. He remained by me, his eyes on the two snow leopards circling each other as if they were going to attack.
Aster and Jonas, getting into a scuffle. I knew Jonas was capable of it, but Aster? I couldn’t help but wonder if he was upset that he lost, or that Jonas won. Not going to lie, I couldn’t stop picturing my first time with Aster—now scenes like that would remain tucked away in my imagination.
My first time was going to be with Jonas. The thought felt wrong, even as I was thinking it.
The two leopards in front of me looked as if they were about to lunge at each other, and I finally found my voice, “Stop.” A single word caused both Aster and Jonas to freeze, staring up at me with wide, blue eyes. They were each beautiful, their coats full and their ears perked to me. I would be one of them, soon enough, down on all fours.
Even when I wasn’t shifted, I’d be down on all fours.
“Jonas won,” I said, feeling even colder than I did before. Admitting it out loud made it more real, and yet it was the truth I had to face. Jonas won, therefore he’d get me as the prize. “He won, and we have to accept it.” The truth was a hard pill to swallow, but we had to swallow it all the same.
Aster shifted into his human form, standing in front of me, baring it all in the cold. Or maybe it didn’t affect him much, because I was reasonably sure that when most men were cold, their dicks shriveled up. His…did not. His just hung there—not that I was looking.
I wasn’t.
Much.
This night was turning into a nightmare, wasn’t it? But I had to face the music.
“He won,” Nikolas stated. “He won, Aster. Fighting about it now won’t change the fact.”
“But—” Again, Aster’s words were cut off by a glower, this one from his brother. “Fine, but I reserve the right to be here, to make sure Jonas doesn’t hurt her.”
Behind me, Nikolas spoke, “You want to stay and watch her claiming?”
Aster finally realized what else that would entail—not only watching me shift, but also watching Jonas claim me while in our animal forms. “I, uh…” Aster’s confidence oozed away, and he sounded much more like himself, even though he stood less than a foot away from me, naked in the chilly, night air. Snow fell onto his shoulders, dusting his brown hair, and for a long moment, he said nothing else.
Jonas shifted, standing tall behind Aster. His eyes were on me, even as he said, “If you want to stay, go ahead. I won’t stop you.” Lower, his rough and scratchy voice added, “I don’t mind an audience.”
Turning to look at Nikolas, Aster looked perplexed, as if he didn’t know what to do here. The choice would be up to him. If he’d feel better staying, then he could stay. I wouldn’t tell him to leave, or ask him to stay. All I wanted was for this night to be over with.
I did kind of feel like throwing up now, but that was beside the point.
Nikolas let out a sigh. “That’s up to you,” he said, moving toward his clothes. Unlike some people, he didn’t want to stand in the cold, crisp air butt-ass naked. As Aster did the same, leaving me with Jonas, I couldn’t help but watch the two brothers get dressed and feel…
Sad, really. Just sad. Disappointed, like I’d missed out on something great.
I’d have them soon enough, just as they would have me. My only hope was that Jonas wasn’t too rough with me, that I wasn’t so hurt from being with him that I couldn’t enjoy my other two mates—because it was supposed to be enjoyable, right? I was supposed to enjoy myself, after overcoming the earth-shattering fear of my entire life changing.
“Your eyes should be on me,” Jonas’s stern voice entered my head, and I was measured in shifting my gaze to his chest, which now stood before me. In the moonlight, the scars lining his skin seemed almost ethereal, a whiter shade than the rest of the skin. Most of the scars looked unimportant, but there was a huge claw mark along his lower right abdomen, bigger than a leopard.
I never allowed myself the time to study his body before—it was impressive. Every part of it, jam-packed with muscle, veins bulging and popping up. Now that I was staring, near downright ogling, I couldn’t help but be filled with the bizarre need to touch him. To touch that claw mark on his side and…
Well, if I kept up that train of thought, I was certain my shifting and claiming would go just fine.
Jonas wasn’t going to waste any more time. The longer we stood here, staring at each other, the less time of night he had to make me his. He was raring to go; I didn’t need to look down to know it. He was, uh, a bit bigger in that department than Aster and Nikolas. I only hoped that meant I would be able to focus on enjoying my other two mates…while I simply tried to survive this one.
“Take off your clothes,” Jonas whispered, his voice a haunting melody to my ears. “Once I scratch you, it won’t take long for the change to happen.”
When I let out a shiver of anticipation, Nikolas said, “It might hurt, but everyone’s first time does.” Aster tossed his older brother a strange look, causing Nikolas to add, “I meant the shift, not…not that.”
Although, in all actuality, that might hurt, too.
I was freezing. The last thing I wanted to do was take off my clothes and bare it all like Jonas was in this icy air, but I had to, otherwise I’d tear through my clothes during the change. The first thing I took off was my jacket, and Nikolas was there to take it from me. Then my boots, which Aster took. I guess the brothers would take my clothes and watch while Jonas claimed me.
My socks in the snow got wet instantly, and I grew chilly before slipping them off. Soon enough I was as naked as Jonas was, and so, so cold. The coldest I’d ever been in my life, freezing to the point where my bones felt like ice, my breath coming out in chilled puffs before me.
Jonas moved near me, and I immediately felt his body heat, grateful for it. He took a hand, and I watched with bated breath as his fingernails sharpened into claws. Partially-shifted, something I’d be able to do, once I had the actual shift under my belt.
The moment he ran a sharp claw along the top of my hand, I felt something inside of me, well, shift. It was like a cage inside of me had opened, and a rushing animal raced to the forefront of my mind to break free, finally, after so much time locked away.
As Jonas released my hand and stepped away, looking…a strange mix of smug and determined, I fell to my knees in the snow. New, wild energy coursed through me, and I let out a muffled cry of pain and confusion. It did hurt; Nikolas wasn’t lying when he said it would. Each and every blood vessel in my body grew warm, sizzling and threatening to burst. My heart rate sped up, faster than should’ve been humanly possible.
But, that’s the thing—I wasn’t human. I never was. The life I’d lived, until now, was a lie. A pretty, fun lie, but a lie nonetheless.
I felt sweat bead along my hairline, and I closed my eyes, blocking out the rest of the world. I knew most shifters had their first change quite a few years younger than me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was why it hurt this bad, or if it was destined to hurt no matter what. My fingers tensed in the snow, and I could feel every part of my body shifting and changing, becoming one with the animal inside.
The whole turn took a minute, maybe two. Not long, but time seemed to freeze as the pain engulfed me. Fur grew along my body as my spine changed, a tail sprouting and growing in a matter of seconds. My palms flattened and morphed into paws, and I could feel my jaw reshaping itself to be that of a leopard’s muzzle.
When the pain finally subsided, when I was no longer lost in the hot sea of agony that had been my first turn, I opened my eyes to find that I was down on all fours in the snow. My eyesight was sharper, my balance better. I stood on paws that were a snow leopard’s, not on my hands and knees.
It was a bizarre thing, staring down at paws while expecting to see human hands.
The wind blew past me, and I shivered. I was still cold—still shaking uncontrollably, but it was nowhere near as bad as I was before the turn. The snow below me looked clearer, and even though it was night time, it was as if I could see every single individual snowflake, their shapes and their sparkles.
I looked up, turning my head to view the crystallized lake and the moon peeking out through the clouds. A beautiful sight, a view that made something inside of me ache. This was my home. This was where I was meant to be; it had taken me so long to get here, to reach the point where I was supposed to be. This was my forever, this place, this body, these males.
Snowfall still drifted down, coating my fur with a light dusting, and I shook it off, stumbling a bit, which caused Aster and Nikolas to chuckle softly. I tossed a look over my shoulder—hard to do, when shifted—and glared at them the best I could. I wasn’t sure how much of a glare it actually was, since I wasn’t sure whether or not I could look intimidating while shifted. But it didn’t matter, because the second I threw them a glare, I spotted Jonas.
Jonas must’ve shifted while I was lost in the pain, for he stood between me and my other two mates, sparkling blue eyes intent on me. His long, puffy tail flicked back and forth, and I met his stare with an uneasy feeling in my gut.
No, that wasn’t uneasiness. It was…something else. Something similar, but new. Something I couldn’t quite name. A tentative eagerness? My inner leopard—which I could feel now
as a part of me, a being that had always been inside of me, waiting to emerge—wasn’t afraid, which perhaps gave me courage when I should have none.
Jonas’s mouth was open slightly, revealing his sharp teeth. He breathed out through his mouth loudly, and I let out a type of noise I didn’t know I was capable of: a rough chirping noise that was midway between a meow and a purr.
As Jonas stepped closer to me, still a giant, especially compared to how small my leopard form was, Nikolas and Aster moved back, giving us privacy…though it was clear neither of them were going to leave. Their eyes were on me, mystified and awed, as if they’d never seen a creature more beautiful. I was their mate, I would be theirs soon enough, but tonight was Jonas’s night. Tonight, I was his.
Jonas’s wide body rubbed against mine as he walked along my side, and before I knew what I was doing, my four-legged body dropped to the snow below, my backside still in the air, just a bit. An instinctive position, one I knew I had to take. He moved to my back, and then he mounted me.
With animals, it was more cut and dry than it was between humans. There were no lustful looks in anyone’s eyes, no moans of pleasure or even pain. It did hurt, at first, but I couldn’t focus on that. All I could focus on was the fact that Jonas was claiming me, marking me as his. This was the beginning of my new life, the start of the rest of my life. Even with Jonas’s leopard form pounding away at me from behind, I had the sense of mind to hope that it would be a good life.
The real test, I knew, would be after we’d shifted back into our human forms, how he treated me when we both had soft, tender, fur-less flesh.
His claws held onto my sides, and I could feel his body panting hard above me. I had to breathe through my mouth, unable to glance at my other mates. This wasn’t about them. It was about Jonas and me, and the claiming. His leopard claiming mine, just as his human body would do soon enough.
It didn’t take Jonas long for his animal to find its release. When the thrusting stopped, I knew he was coming, and I let out a mewl when his claws dug a little deeper into my fur. Not enough to break the skin, but enough to let me know that he was about done.