Ruthless: Black Mountain Academy

by Mila Crawford

  “Good evening, ladies.” Edward lifted a glass of amber liquid, before sipping it again. “Sorry I haven’t caught many of these family dinners, important work keeps me away, but it sure seems like all of you have kept yourselves occupied around here.” Monica patted his shoulder once, before dutifully pouring a little more of whatever he was drinking from a crystal carafe on the table.

  “We’ve missed you wildly.” Monica settled herself at his side, an unusually enthusiastic smile on her face. Was she really so excited to have her husband for dinner? Something about her actions felt hollow and contrived.

  “Missed you like a hole in the head,” Kyler grunted.

  “Kyler, stop that,” Monica hushed, fear tracking between her son and her husband.

  “No, I won't stop that. Not anymore, I’m so fucking sick of living in this big fake house with all these fake feelings. Everything about this family is fake bullshit and I won’t swallow it and smile like a good little boy.”

  ”Kyler.” Edward’s eyes flashed with anger. “I’m warning you.”

  “Fuck your warnings.” Kyler shot from his chair, causing it to cascade across the floor in a clatter. His hand locked around the handle of the crystal carafe with the alcohol and sent it crashing across the room to shatter in a thousand shards on the marble floor. “If you would have listened to me when I was twelve, I wouldn’t need to calm down.”

  “Oh, here we go again.”

  “Seven years, seven fucking years and I still have the same exact story--if you think I’m fucked up, you only have yourself to blame. Instead of protecting me, you did everything you could to avoid me.”

  “That’s not true, Ky--”

  “It is, Mom, it is true. He did nothing after he found out his best friend abused his son.” Anger shook Kyler’s form before he cut his gaze from Monica’s, dashing out of the dining room, down the hallway, and out of the front doors.

  I gripped the arms of my chair to stand and race out after him, when Mom placed a hand on mine. “Let him be, Madison, he needs time.”

  “I think I need time too,” I said, barely above a whisper. “If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to skip dinner tonight, my stomach isn’t feeling so well.” I stood, leaving the dining room without another word. I didn't go to Kyler, even though I wanted to, I went back to my bedroom, curled up with my pillow, and cried myself into a dreamless sleep.

  I must have only slept for a little while. By the time Mom was back and waking me up with her soothing words, the sun was still bright in the sky. “I brought you some leftovers, honey.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, head still stuffed face first in the pillow.

  “I thought maybe we should talk about what Kyler said.”

  I didn't have the words, only painful barbs digging into my throat where my vocal cords should be.

  “He mentioned Edward’s best friend, Pierce Black…” Her palm rubbed circles on my back, her tone lowered.

  A pounding rattled through my head, my veins suddenly drenched with freezing ice as I launched myself off the bed and flung my head into the toilet. I vomited out all the pain, emotion, and uneasy thoughts I’d been having for days.

  “Madison, you are so perfect, and you are every part your father’s daughter--you were the apple of Michael’s eye and as much his own as if he’d fathered you himself. You’re not Pierce Black’s daughter; you never were, not for a single instant.”

  She held me silently for a while as I came back down from the sick twisting in my stomach. She helped me up off the floor, guiding me back to my bed, before fetching a damp washcloth to wipe my forehead. “You should tell Kyler.”

  “What can I say? He won’t want to hear any of it.”

  “You tell him that what happened to him is not his fault any more than what happened to you.”

  “Or you.” I gulped.

  “Exactly, honey. You might be surprised by how much he wants to hear it. You were both a product of your circumstances; it’s what you make of them that counts.”

  I nodded, suddenly feeling the tension ease away a little. “I think I’m going to go find him.”

  “Good, that’s good.” She smiled softly as we walked down the hallway together.

  “I just hope he doesn't slam the door in my face.” I sniffed when I reached the door. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Always, honey.”

  I turned and darted across the path to Kyler’s. When I reached his door, I knocked, then glanced down at my feet, shaking my head when I realized I’d been in such a rush to get to him I’d practically run over here in my fuzzy house slippers.

  “What?” Kyler swung the door wide, saw it was me, and made to slam it again. I stopped him just in the nick of time by wedging my foot in the door, the heavy wood like a vise against my cheap slippers and the door jamb.

  “Ow! Dammit, Kyler Sinclair!”

  Chapter 31

  “He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” ― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

  Kyler

  There was a nasty looking gash on her foot, with blood pooling out of it in the exact spot that I selfishly allowed the bottom of the door to scrape along her delicate skin. When I saw that cut, I felt my heart sink. I never cared about the kinds of harm I inflicted on people. In reality, that scrape was her own fault. But with Maddy, I never wanted her to feel anything but happiness.

  “Jesus, Maddy. I’m so sorry.”

  “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you just be normal and not let your emotions control every damn thing you do?”

  Her question took me off guard. I tried so hard not to feel, and here she was accusing me of being controlled by emotions. The truth was, she was right. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Maddy was the key, she came blazing into my life and unwrapped everything, leaving all the debris flying in her wake.

  “Are you going to come in or am I to pick you up and throw you over my shoulder?” I opened the door wide, giving her space, avoiding touching her as much as possible. Her eyes burned through me as she walked by, making sure to intentionally bump me. It was infuriating how damn beautiful she was, even all pissed off at me.

  “That’s your first aid kit?” she said, looking at the zip lock baggie I pulled out of the cupboard above the sink.

  “It gets the job done.” I shrugged, taking her foot in my hand. “You really think these shoes were the most practical to wear?” I pulled the ridiculous slipper off her foot and stared at the violent looking gash.

  “They were the first things I saw.”

  “I guess it could be worse, you could be wearing one of those nail-heeled type contraptions that Tamlin and the other girls like to wear. But shoes really should be more practical.”

  “I thought men liked stiletto heels,” she said, her eyes pinning me with their beauty. I couldn’t help thinking just how breathtaking she was.

  “You’re really beautiful, you know?” I said, dabbing a cotton ball on her foot.

  “Ouch,” she hissed, trying to bat my hand away. “That really hurt.”

  “It’s supposed to, it’s rubbing alcohol.”

  “Well, do you need to use so much of it?” She winced. “I knew you hated me but not this much.”

  I knew she was joking, but her words made my broken heart ache.

  “I don’t hate you, Maddy, the opposite actually.” The words came rushing out of me as if on autopilot. That was the thing about Maddy, she made me feel and say things that were completely against my nature. I wasn’t sure if she had set me free or imprisoned me.

  I never believed in love. Love was just an illusion, a facade, a dream. Whatever it was, it wasn’t rooted in reality. Humans were selfish beings, and love required selflessness. Hence, it being a complete fabrication. We, as humans, want to believe that we are capable of more, but in reality, we are nothing more than predators looking for our next kill. If that kill comes in the form of a young, sweet girl, so be it.

  I knew from a y
oung age that I would never fall victim to the illusion, but then she came into my life. Young, vibrant and so fucking sweet. At first, I thought if I fucked her it would drain her from my system. How idiotic of me, to assume one taste would have been enough. Because that one taste was so intoxicating, so consuming, that I became a slave to it. I hated her for making me want her, and I hated myself for hating her. There started a vicious cycle that made me both her tormentor and her prisoner. Maddy Evans was now intertwined with the very fabric of my being.

  “You’re kind of good at this. You, ever think about being a doctor?” Her sweet voice took me out of my thoughts. I mustered up a smile for her; I wanted only to smile for her. I hated that any of my shit touched her life. I hated that I managed to wrangle her up in mine. I wanted to tell her to run, but I was too fucking selfish. I wanted to breathe and Maddy was the oxygen. I needed her. I couldn’t live without her. I didn’t want to.

  I worked the gauze around her foot, making sure to wrap all the exposed flesh that had been marred by my door.

  “You know it’s just a scrape right? It doesn’t need to be treated like a war wound.” She grabbed my hand, distracting me from what I was doing. Her one simple touch had my head swimming in a vast ocean, desperate for that one lifeline. Her. “It just needs a Band-Aid and time.”

  I focused on her foot, keeping my eyes on her hand, not being able to look her in the eyes. I couldn't ever really look into her eyes again.

  “If only a Band-Aid and time could heal everything,” I mumbled. “Listen, Maddy, my life, it’s a fucking mess. It’s a fucking pot of pure filth and garbage. I’m garbage, used goods. You were right to run away from me. You’re right to be disgusted with me. Someone like you could never want someone like me. Not really.”

  Soft whimpers rose from her lips. I glanced up to see a river of tears flood her face.

  “Don’t cry,” I said, still avoiding her eyes. I felt the sofa shift as she tore her foot away from my hands.

  “Damn it Kyler. You aren’t worthless. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for.” She shouted, her frame shaking with the rage she seemed to be feeling. “Why can’t you see yourself the way I see you?” she demanded.

  “Can you please sit down? You’re going to hurt yourself,” I shouted back at her, worrying that she might do more damage to her foot.

  “I need to say what I came here to say. This is hard, much harder than I thought it would be. So sit down.”

  I sat down, she was fidgeting and bouncing on her injured foot and I was scared she would hurt herself. “There, I sat down. Now stop moving like that,” I said, my voice a little louder than I intended.

  “Pierce Black is my biological father,” she blurted, tears streaming violently down her face, before she accidentally caught her foot on an empty liquor bottle littering on the floor, and tripped.

  Chapter 32

  “Moral wounds have this peculiarity - they may be hidden, but they never close; always painful, always ready to bleed when touched, they remain fresh and open in the heart.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

  Madison

  “Why can’t you ever listen?” Kyler shouted as he rushed towards me. His touch was gentle but his shoulders had tensed up and he was sucking on his lip ring, something he only did when he was agitated. “I told you to sit down.”

  “Kyler, did you hear what I said?”

  He let out a sigh, ignoring me, and gently turned my foot around in his hands. I couldn't believe that he was worried about a stubbed toe right now, after what I just told him. He was silent, using his fingers to taunt me with a torturous touch. I felt trapped by him, wanting him so bad, but knowing that the truth was going to be the end of us, forever. In that moment, I knew that there was no one else I would ever love. No one else I would ever want, other than Kyler Sinclair.

  “Fuck, Kyler, can you stop touching my damn foot and answer me?” I demanded.

  “I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard you swear before,” he said, his eyes finally meeting my own. “I’m not sure if I like it. My little mouse might not be so little after all.”

  “I don’t fucking care. Just fuckin’ answer my question,” I shouted, moving directly into his face, my nose barely touching his.

  “What is there to say? The person I love the most in the world is the product of the person I hated the most. I should hate you; I should run from you as fast as I can. I should loathe you. But when I am with you, I don’t care about any of it. All I care about is how you make me feel.”

  I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I had never known relief as I did in that moment and I never would again.

  “It started when I was eight. Nothing sexual at first. He was actually cool, letting me eat candy, and watch movies that my mother was dead set against. Things that made him a cool uncle. He would say inappropriate things, sexual type things, but it was never directed at me, just in general.” He let out a humorless laugh.. It was a cynical laugh, the laugh of someone that had seen darkness and tried to shrug it off, even while being suffocated by it. “It was over a year before he started touching me or asking me to touch him, before any of that shit happened. One of the expensive therapists my parents sent me to called that grooming.”

  “Your parents knew?”

  “They say they didn’t know who it was until after Pierce died, but I heard my mother once accuse my father of knowing. It’s why my parents act the way they do. Believe it or not, at one time they actually loved each other. But for some reason, my molestation didn’t just destroy me, it destroyed them. My father started working more, much more than normal, and my mother started hitting the old bottle. When I was around ten, that’s when the touching happened.” Kyler turned his face away from me and I felt my heart breaking into a million shattered pieces.

  As I listened to him, I felt the bile start to rise from my throat. I was grateful that Pierce Black was dead. If he wasn’t, I was pretty sure I would kill him myself. I hated that his blood was running through my veins. I had no idea how Kyler and my mother could care about me, knowing I had his DNA.

  “Don’t cry,” Kyler said, wiping the tears from my cheeks. His touch was so gentle and it gave me hope. Hope that I knew was a mirage but I allowed myself to feel it anyway.

  “How can you stand to look at me?” I whimpered through the tears blurring my eyes.

  “None of this is your fault,” he said, matter-of-factly. “My love for you, Maddy, trumps all other feelings I have.”

  “But you have other feelings?”

  “If I told you that all this isn’t fucked up, I’d be lying. You are a casualty Maddy. You aren’t him. If I can see that, even with how fucked up I am, then why can’t you?”

  “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” The moment I asked the question, I regretted it. I knew why he didn’t tell. He was a small child. How could he stand up to someone as powerful as Pierce Black?

  “I told him I was going to. After the first time he touched me, I told him I was going to tell. He told me that if I ever breathed a word to anyone, he would kill Tamlin. I couldn’t let that happen. He was the boogieman. I had to be brave and endure so that Tammy was safe.” He looked at his arms, brushing a finger along a scar under the black design of his tattoo. “That’s when I started to cut myself. There was just something about seeing the scars. I kept thinking if I made marks on my body I would disgust him and he wouldn’t want me anymore. Nothing worked, though, until I slashed my wrists at twelve and my parents committed me. It was there that one of the doctors suggested a boarding school for troubled youth in Switzerland. However, I didn’t want to go. I was scared that if I went, he would do something to Tammy. My parents sent her away too. The boarding school was a godsend; I was getting better, doing well. Then one night I saw one of the guards on top of one of the boys and I lost it. I beat him so bad that I left him in a coma. The only reason I am not in jail is because my father paid off
every single person he could think of.”

  “Oh, Kyler.”

  “Don’t do that,” he said, pushing my hand away. “Don’t you dare feel sorry for me, Maddy. Pity is not what I want from you.”

  “What do you want?” I asked, looking at the mess of clutter on the floor.

  “You,” he said, pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me. “I have never wanted anything until I saw you.”

  Chapter 33

  Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces – and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper – love her, love her, love her!” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  Kyler

  “I’d go to the ends of the Earth and back to make you happy.” I nuzzled into her silky skin as she slept beside me later that night.

  I couldn't sleep, not after everything that had passed between us. So much revealed, so much exposed. I felt like a raw wire waiting for her to light a match.

  “What are you doing to me, little mouse?”

  I stroked her jaw before placing a reverent kiss on her cheek, my fingertips darting down the nape of her neck, watching as shivers erupted and raced across her flesh. I'd been terrified to give her too much of me in the beginning, afraid to hurt her too much, but not having her felt like the real crime now.

  “You're so perfect. So sweet,” I hushed as my hands twisted into her hair, pulling her lips to mine so I could taste her. “You're everything, and you don't even know it.”