Tame Him

by Caitlyn Dare

  “Fucking leave it,” I bark.

  “Ace. You can’t keep this up. She’ll be coming home soon. What are you going to do then? Camp out in her fucking garden so you can continue stalking her?”

  “Fuck. Off.”

  “You’re going to have to deal eventually.”

  “Whatever. Did you bring more vodka?”

  “No. No, I fucking didn’t.”

  “Weed?” I ask on the off chance.

  “No. I’m not bringing you anything anymore. You need to sort your ass out. Man the fuck up and come home.”

  “I don’t have a home,” I bellow at him. “None of us do.”

  “You need to pull your head out of your fucking ass. We have a better home right now than we’ve ever had in our lives. So Mom or Dad aren’t there. So it might not be where we chose. But do you know what? It’s pretty fucking awesome. And if you don’t start making the best of it and figure out what it is you want to do with your life instead of spending it in fucking prison, then you’re going to regret it.”

  “What if I want to regret it? It’s better than letting that cunt buy me with his fancy fucking school and ideas of Ivy League colleges.”

  “This is fucking pointless,” he hisses. “I’m done. I’ll see you, if and when you decide to come home and start living again.”

  “I can’t go back there.” My words stop his retreat to the door.

  “You fucked up, Ace. So what? You’ve done it before, and no doubt you’ll do it again. Own it. Apologize where needs be and get the fuck on with it. This isn’t you. Wallowing isn’t you. Go and fuck some shit up, and then get the fuck over it.”

  “I—”

  “No, you’re done. I’m done with your poor excuses. Do you think Remi is going to want you in this state?”

  “Want me? She’s not going to want me in any fucking state after what I did.” Self-hatred courses through my veins like acid.

  “That girl’s a legend for putting up with your ass in the first place. She fucking loves you, man. Fuck knows why, but she does. Now, how about you attempt to be the man she deserves and not just the fucking waste-of-space Heighter everyone expects you to be.”

  He flies through the door, and the force of the slam that follows makes the building shake around me.

  Love me?

  Remi doesn’t love me. It’s not possible.

  “Jesus, fuck,” I mutter, my hand curling into a tight fist. I just got a new one ripped by my baby brother. When did he get so fucking sensible?

  Pushing from the bed, I shove my feet into my boots. If he won’t bring me what I need, then I’ll have to go myself. I haven’t left this room in fifteen fucking days, and I really don’t feel like doing so now, but needs, musts and all that.

  I pocket my cell and wallet before taking a step to the door. An almighty crash has me jumping back in shock. When I look up, I find James wearing his standard three-piece suit, but instead of the soft expression he tries to show the world, he looks fucking murderous.

  “Gotcha,” he says with a smirk as he attempts to put the door back into place, despite it hanging from its top hinge.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  He stares at me and takes a step closer. “I think it’s time we had a little chat, don’t you?”

  “Not particularly. I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

  He laughs, but he’s far from amused. “That’s a real shame, Ace, because I’ve got a-fucking-lot that I want to say to you.”

  I roll my eyes at him, and he flies at me. Leaving my hands at my sides, I let him take what he thinks will make this situation better. His fist tightens in my shirt as he pushes me up against the motel room wall and gets in my face. A warm rush of air skates over my skin, but I keep my expression neutral. He doesn't need to know that there’s an inferno raging underneath.

  “You’re a fucking Jagger, boy. We don’t hide,” he seethes. His eyes are darker than I’ve ever seen them, and for a moment, it’s not my uncle staring back at me but my dad.

  “Who said I’m hiding?”

  “It’s taken me two weeks to find you. I’d say that’s hiding.”

  “If I were hiding, you’d never have found me. I’m just… chilling.”

  “In the closest motel to the hospital Remi just so happens to be in?” My chest aches at the mere mention of her name. “Don’t even pretend like you don’t visit her when we’ve all left. I know you do.”

  “So what?”

  “So what? I want to know why. I get why you want to hurt me—”

  “Do you?” I grit out. “Do you really?”

  “You hate that I’ve dragged you here and you’re trying to throw your weight around. Trying to prove that I don’t hold the power.”

  Lifting my hands, I push at his shoulders. To my surprise, he allows me the space and steps back. “Is that right?”

  “Yes,” he sighs. “Now you need to do the right thing and own up to your mistakes.”

  “That’s what Jaggers do, is it? Admit to their mistakes?”

  “If you’ve done something wrong, yes.”

  “So were you ever going to apologize for having our father killed?”

  All the blood drains from his face. “W-what?” he chokes out.

  “Oh, you thought I didn’t know.” My lip curls with disgust. “That I naively thought he randomly died all those years ago, just like my brothers do?”

  He opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out.

  “Well, it seems you’re not the only one with secrets, does it, Uncle.” I narrow my eyes at him. “So you tell me… tell me why you thought it was such a good idea to leave us short of one parent and then abandon us when the other fell apart at the seams?”

  “He wasn’t the man you thought he was, Ace.” His voice is barely a whisper.

  “No? So he didn’t put food on the table and look after us?”

  “No, he was a liar and an abusive motherfucker.” Anger etches into his expression once more. “Do you have any idea what he used to do to your mother? Did you ever wonder why she turned to drink and drugs in the first place?”

  “Do you have any idea what it was like for all of us after he was gone?” I spit. “When she fell apart and we had to fend for ourselves? Where were you then, huh? If you were so set on helping and getting rid of him, why couldn’t you help us then?” I roar.

  Images of my brothers curled up under their dirty, threadbare sheets race through my mind, shivering cold because not only had they not had a warm meal inside them, but we had no money to heat the shithole trailer we were forced to live in.

  “I tried, Ace. I fucking tried.”

  “There were so many things you could have done to help. But you didn’t. You fucked back off to your privileged life and left us to drown.”

  “She wouldn’t let me.”

  “I’m sorry, what?” I ask, feeling like I’ve just been slapped.

  “I tried,” he repeats more clearly this time. “She wouldn’t let me.”

  “She was a fucking junkie, James. What kind of power could she have possibly had over you?”

  He opens his mouth to confess but closes it almost as quickly.

  “Oh no, you don’t come storming in here and not give me everything. This is my fucking life, I deserve the truth. If it weren’t for me, those two would have fucking starved to death along with her in that trailer. How could you have possibly made it any worse?”

  “You could all be fucking dead.” His voice is a low rumble, a stark contrast to a few seconds ago. “I did everything I could. Am I happy that I had to leave you there? About not being able to do more? No, no I’m not. But I couldn’t risk the alternative.”

  “This is fucked up.” I fist my hair, dragging my fingers against my scalp.

  “You think I don’t know that? This isn’t how I wanted things to turn out, for any of us. But you’ve got to trust me when I tell you that I did all I could. I did what I thought was the only way to keep everyone
safe.”

  There’s more. I can see it in his eyes. But he’s hiding it, and it’s fucked-up, but I don’t push him for answers. There’s clearly a reason he’s keeping it close, and a part of me is grateful. I’m not sure I have the head space to deal with anything else right now. Plus, I’m yet to tell him the man he thought he had sentenced to death is still out there somewhere, living and breathing the same air as us. Fuck, for all I know he’s in this town. He could be watching us right now, plotting his own revenge.

  The silence that settles around us is heavy with secrets. We both stare at each other, our eyes narrowed and breathing ragged as we try to fight our own battles and keep control. It’s the first time I see any kind of similarity between the two of us.

  Maybe there’s more to the rich, pretentious asshole than I previously thought. Or maybe he’s just trying to make me think that. He’s the master of manipulation, after all. Everything he just told me could be total bullshit, for all I know.

  “You need to come home, Ace,” he says much more softly than anything else since he forced his way into my little hideout.

  “Really? You want me there after everything?”

  He shrugs. “I took you in knowing that this wasn’t going to be easy. If I was going to let you fuck up and run away, then I wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

  “I filmed Remi as I took…” I trail off, not able to even say it, as regret floods me.

  “Did you intend for it to be seen by everyone?” he asks coldly, disappointment glittering in his eyes.

  “At first, yes, that was the plan. But—”

  “But?”

  “I changed my mind. I wanted to hurt you, not her. The kids at that school already look at her like she’s a piece of shit on their shoe.” His chin drops in shock like this is actually news to him.

  Do him and Sarah not listen to a word she says?

  “Why, Ace? Why did you change your mind?”

  “Because she didn’t deserve it.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. But why? You don’t usually give a shit about what people deserve. You wouldn’t have been working for Donny Lopez all these years if you did.” My eyes widen that he knows that little fact about me. He’s never even hinted before that he knew about my connection with him or what I did.

  “Because I care about her, okay? Happy now?”

  “Far from it, Ace. Far fucking from it.” Lifting his hands to his hair, he tugs. “I know you’ve been going to see her, and I appreciate that you’ve kept your distance. It’s what she needs. She’ll be home in a few days, and I suggest you continue to stay away. Remi’s still got a long way to go until she’s as good as new. But at some point in the near future, you are going to put this right. You are going to tell her the truth. You are going to apologize on your fucking knees if you have to, because I will not have a war between the two of you under my roof. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes,” I mutter.

  I don’t have a clue how I’m going to deal with things once she’s been discharged, but there was never any doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t see her.

  That video was never meant to be played. I need her to know that.

  “But before any of that,” James says, pulling me from my thoughts. His voice is cold and void of any emotion. “You need to pull your head out of your ass and do the right thing. I mean it, Ace. Figure out a way to fix this, and fast.”

  Chapter Three

  Remi

  “What’s up, Delores?” Conner shifts his chair back, giving the nurse room to get to me.

  “I’m all the better for seeing your face, young man. I was starting to think your fan club had given up on you.” She winks at me.

  My brow rises at Conner, who rubs his jaw. “Fan club, hey? You didn’t tell me Cole had been around to see me.”

  “Hmm, yeah. He came by a couple of times when you were asleep.”

  We both know I wasn’t asleep, but that’s what Conner likes to call it. Since I woke up three days ago, he’s been by every day.

  It’s strange.

  Before everything happened, there was a lot of tension between us. He’d tried to warn me off Ace, and I’d told him he should have more faith in his brother.

  It sucked to be wrong.

  “Well, you tell Cole I said hello,” the nurse goes on. “Always did fancy myself a young man with plenty of ink... and that brow pierc—”

  “Okay, Delores,” Conner jumps up, “I think we can take it from here.” He ushers her out of the room.

  “Conner...” I say, seeing right through his cover.

  “Princess...” A smirk tugs the corner of his mouth despite the guilt shining in his eyes.

  “He was here?”

  He lets out a weary sigh, sinking back in the chair. “Shit, Remi, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here.”

  “The truth might be a good start.”

  Everyone has been so determined to protect me, but I’m tired of it.

  “Yeah, Ace has been here.”

  A small gasp leaves my lips. It shouldn’t matter, not after what he did. But he was here...

  Ace was here.

  “Why?”

  “Why d’ya think? The girl he...” He stops himself, shaking his head a little. “Sometimes it takes almost losing what you had to realize you ever had it in the first place.”

  “That ship has long sailed,” I say, forcing myself to look at the ceiling.

  “I know he hurt you, Remi, but you don’t know what he’s been through. What we’ve all been through. When you’ve had to fight to survive the way Ace has, it’s not easy to let people in.”

  I make a garbled sound as my eyes cut to Conner’s. “I gave him my...”

  “I know. Fuck, I know.” He grimaces. “Trust me, I wish I didn’t. Want to know what I think?”

  “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.” I roll my eyes.

  “You scare Ace. You make him feel. Everyone in our lives—parents, teachers, social workers—they all gave up or walked away. But you’re different. You stood up for him. And he doesn’t know how the fuck to deal with that.”

  Conner’s words weigh heavily on my heart. I want to believe he’s right—to believe that Ace only did what he did because he’s scared. But I can’t forget what he said.

  “I was just a pawn in his sick game to get back at your uncle.”

  “I think that’s what he tried telling himself, yeah.” Conner offers me a weak smile. “Look, I’m not trying to tell you to give him another chance. I wouldn’t blame you if you never spoke to his sorry ass again. I’m just saying we all make mistakes, especially those of us who were never taught any better.”

  “You’re a good brother, Conner,” I say, because it’s easier than acknowledging anything he just said.

  Ace didn’t just hurt me the night of my birthday. He destroyed a tiny part of my soul. And I’m not sure I’ll ever get over that.

  “So, you’ve been coming around and Ace has been sneaking in. What about that twin brother of yours?”

  “You know Cole,” he says around a knowing smile. “Besides, he never did like hospitals.”

  Two days later, I’m finally allowed to go home. Mom and James insist on wheeling me out of the hospital in a chair, as if it's my legs I’ve hurt and not my head.

  “I can walk,” I say for the third time.

  “We know that, sweetheart, but the doctor said—”

  “He said I have to take it easy for a few days, Mom. He didn’t say I can’t walk to the car.”

  But the second the hospital doors slide open, I realize we won’t be walking anyway. James’ familiar town car is right outside. His driver, William, jumps out and comes around to the passenger side. “Mr. Jagger. Ms. Tanner.” He gives them a swift nod and looks at me. “It’s good to see you back on your feet, Miss Tanner.”

  “I would be on my feet if these two would let me.” I push out of the chair and stand. Apart from a slight ache to my muscles from underuse, I fee
l fine. “And please, call me Remi.”

  “Very well, Remi.” He opens the door for me, and I climb inside. Mom and James follow.

  “I’m so happy you’re coming home,” she says, swiping a tear from her eye.

  There’s been a lot of those over the last few days, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of what awaits me.

  “Can I have my cell phone back now?” I ask.

  She blanches, looking to James for help, something else I’ve been accustomed to over the last few days.

  “The doctor—”

  “Did not say I couldn’t check my cell phone, Mom. So unless you’re ready to tell me what’s really going on, I’d like it back now.”

  “Sarah,” James says, looping his arm around her waist. “Maybe it’s time.”

  Mom inhales a shuddering breath and my heart ratchets. “The night of your party... right before the fight broke out and you were hurt, I’d planned to show a video. ‘Eighteen years of Remi Tanner.’” She smiles, but it’s sad.

  My brows furrow. It doesn’t sound that scandalous.

  “But somebody,” she clears her throat, “must have tampered with the laptop, because when I pressed play it wasn’t my video.”

  “That doesn’t sound so bad, Mom.” I smile, but they’re not smiling back. In fact, Mom has tears slipping down her face again.

  “Remi.” James comforts my mom. “It was a tape of you and Ace... together.”

  “I don’t understand… There isn’t any tapes of me and A—”

  No.

  I gasp.

  “H-he filmed us?”

  “It would seem my sorry excuse of a nephew thought he would use you to get to me.” James’ words barely register as I replay that night in my head.

  After my birthday, Ace had disappeared. I’d been out of my mind with worry, so when he texted me to say he wanted to see me after Cole’s first game, I hadn’t stopped to think he might be setting me up. Why would I?

  I trusted him.

  I wanted him.