Colton's Amnesia Target (The Coltons of Kansas)

by Kimberly van Meter - A Sinclair Homecoming (The Sinclairs of Alaska)

  “Why’d the EPA ban the chemical?”

  “I guess it’s a carcinogen but they didn’t know that until later when people who were exposed to it started getting cancer.”

  Clint nodded. “A lot of building materials were later found to be dangerous around humans. Did you know the EPA has only banned nine chemicals in spite of the thousands on the American market?”

  “That seems an underwhelming use of an agency created to protect people from chemical harm,” Jordana said.

  “Well, chemical makers aren’t in a big rush to admit that their product could be dangerous. Proving that a chemical is harmful to humans is a long and lengthy process. Polychlorinated biphenyls, or PCBs as we call them, were banned in 1978 but you can still find some banned chemicals coming in from China where the regulations are different.”

  Jordana frowned. “How would you know if something was treated with an illegal chemical?”

  “Aside from testing it, you have to rely on the honesty of the seller where you’re getting your materials.”

  “Why would anyone buy tainted materials?”

  “Money,” he answered with a shrug. “Cheaper materials lower the bottom line. I remember Alex and I getting into a disagreement about some tech parts we were sourcing and he wanted to buy from a Chinese distributor, but even though they were cheaper materials, I didn’t get a good vibe from the distributor as far as their chemical compound usage. Ultimately, we passed and went with a different distributor.”

  “You didn’t trust Alex to make the right choice,” she surmised.

  “No, I guess I didn’t. As it turned out, Alex had a bit of a moral and ethic ambiguity that didn’t mesh with mine.”

  She reached out to squeeze his hand, assuring Clint, “He’s going to get what’s coming to him.”

  Clint nodded, appreciative of her gesture. “So that’s the only lead so far?”

  “Yeah, it’s a little disheartening. My dad is up my tailpipe, pressuring me to release the crime scene so he can demo the building, but I can’t do that until I can solve those murders.”

  “Cold cases are notoriously hard to solve,” he said. “I can understand your dad’s frustration. As a business owner, I’d go nuts if I couldn’t do my job because of someone else being in my way.”

  “And if that someone is his daughter, he feels it’s perfectly acceptable to harass her at a family dinner,” she said. “Totally ruining my mom’s apple pie reveal.”

  “I’m sorry, babe.”

  “I feel bad for my mom. My dad is a tyrant some days. I don’t know how she put up with him all these years. Oh, and my uncle Shep is moving into the carriage house, which has further put my mom on edge—not that she needed help in that department—and my dad seems oblivious to anything that doesn’t directly affect him and Colton Construction.”

  “Does your dad care that none of his kids went into the family business?”

  “Oh, yes. It’s a point of contention but he mostly saves that beef for my brothers. Thankfully, they know how to let it roll off their backs.”

  “I can’t see Ty being bothered by something like that.” Clint chuckled.

  “No, Ty is his own man. On one hand, I’d think my dad would be proud that his sons and daughters are so independent but he only wants us to be headstrong with other people, not him. With him, he wants us to jump when he snaps his fingers.”

  “As stressful as that all sounds, having your family around is a blessing. I wish I had siblings to argue with or a father to butt heads with over nothing. It’s weird what you end up valuing. Alex was the closest I had to a brother. Now, he’s gone, too.”

  “I’m so sorry, Clint,” she murmured. “I wish things had turned out differently.”

  “Me, too. You know, I was half expecting the culprit to be a disgruntled employee or maybe even my assistant.”

  “Jeana? She’s practically perfect,” Jordana said, chuckling. “And she has a mad crush on you.”

  “You know... I think I figured that out, too. She’s a good woman but, well, boundaries.”

  She blushed. “Is it terrible that I hate the idea of you dating anyone but me?”

  “Yes,” he said, shocking her. He grinned, showing that he was joking. “Hey, you’re breaking my heart by leaving. The least you could do is suffer the heartburn of knowing that I might be out there dating.”

  “You’re the worst,” she chided around a laugh just as their food arrived. “You, sir, have been saved by the server.”

  He chuckled and watched with pleasure as she moaned after her first bite. Mission accomplished. At least he knew that the eggs Benedict hype was real. They made some small talk while they finished their breakfast and then, after paying the bill, they walked arm in arm out onto the sidewalk.

  The weather was nearly perfect today. Birds skimmed across blue skies like skipping stones on water. The temperature was moderate, almost vacation weather. But on the day he was saying goodbye to the love of his life, it ought to be raining like the apocalypse was about to crash down around their ears. He glanced up at the sky with a subtle scowl but he couldn’t blame Mother Nature for his bad luck.

  Parking for this particular restaurant was always a bear, but instead of using the car service, he wanted to drive Jordana himself. Something about the act of driving made him feel more in control of the situation, even though it was an illusion.

  It didn’t matter if he drove or the car service drove, Jordana was still going to head to the airport.

  But as it turned out, the parking garage wasn’t exactly the kind of place he would’ve chosen. Even to his own eyes, the place wasn’t well-lit and there were too many dark areas for his comfort. Still, it was broad daylight—what could happen?

  They were nearly to the car when, out of nowhere, someone wearing a ski mask popped from the shadows, the glint of a knife catching his eye before he went down to the ground with a hard thud. Jordana screamed and he realized his attacker had come prepared. Another man held Jordana while the man on him tried to gut him like a fish.

  They scrabbled against the filthy cement. Clint struggled to keep the knife blade from his throat. Sweat broke out across his body as adrenaline powered the fight-or-flight defense mechanism. He could hear Jordana struggling with her attacker but he was too busy himself to help.

  Please don’t let me die like this.

  “You know why I picked a knife?” the man said between grunts as Clint tried to overpower him. “Because it’s more personal. You’ve been a real pain in my ass. I’m going to enjoy spilling your insides and then I’m going to have fun with your hot girlfriend as a bonus.”

  But just as the man went to shove the knife deep into Clint’s chest, he went flying to land in a crumpled heap, knocked out cold.

  Jordana stood, bruised and bloodied, looking like an avenging angel with a helluva roundhouse kick, the other assailant suffering the same fate as the first.

  “Jesus, you’re a badass,” Clint breathed, wiping at his bloody nose, surveying the scene. “This must be the hit man or there’s someone else out there who hates me enough to want me dead.”

  Jordana wiped the trickle of blood from her mouth with a wry smile and pulled her cell to call 911. While they waited for police to arrive, Jordana found some rope in Clint’s car and quickly bound the men like trussed-up pigs ready for the fire.

  Clint couldn’t stop staring at Jordana.

  “Are you okay?” Jordana asked, starting to check him for knife wounds, but he stopped her with a gingerly placed kiss around bruised lips.

  “I will be,” he answered. “Right now, I just want to kiss you until you tell me to stop. You saved my life. Again. If I wasn’t so damn happy to be alive, I’d be embarrassed as hell that you had to save me instead of the other way around.”

  Jordana barked a short laugh as if he were ridiculous, saying, “Bab
y, kicking ass and saving lives is equal opportunity.” She blotted at her bleeding lip with the edge of her shirt. “But I think I’m going to need stitches.”

  “Is it weird that I think that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard you say?”

  She laughed, howling as her lips protested. “Yes. Very.”

  He grinned, pulling her into his arms just as the cops screeched into view, lights and sirens blaring as if they were the ones saving the day.

  They shared a wry look, both thinking the same thing, before pointing to the prone men tied and ready.

  Chapter 30

  Clint managed to convince Jordana to stay a few more days while her lip healed but soon enough she was mended and it was time to return to Braxville.

  The last few days, aside from healing from a brawl, passed with little drama or stress. They ordered takeout, made love, laughed, watched movies, talked about the mysteries of the universe and forgot about the rest of the world outside of their four walls.

  It was magical. But it was also unsustainable.

  The outside world awaited even if they had no interest in participating. Jordana knew that Clint thought everything had changed but it hadn’t.

  Finally dressed after four days of minimal clothing, Jordana met Clint’s gaze and prepared for the heartbreak of goodbye.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, perplexed. “Do you want to go out to eat this time? I thought we could order Greek tonight.”

  “Clint, as much as I would love to stay in this apartment, in your bed, for a lifetime, eventually real life would intrude. We both have lives we have to get back to. Now that I know you’re truly safe, I can leave with a clear conscience.”

  “Whoa, hold up, not so fast. Let’s talk about this.”

  “No, nothing has changed. I have a job to return to, an investigation that I’m up to my eyeballs in with my family, and I can’t just bail. They need me to figure out what happened.”

  “I thought, maybe, things were different now,” he admitted. “Felt different.”

  She cupped his face, meeting his sad gaze with equal misery. “I love you, Clint. I always will. You are probably the love of my life and I have to let you go. Our lives are so different. Eventually, one of us would become resentful of the other, no matter what decision was made. If I stayed, or you came to me, it would end the same.”

  “You don’t know that,” he said, stubbornly refusing to listen. “You’re making a judgment on the future, and as far as I know, neither of us has a crystal ball.”

  “No, but I have experience. I know who I am and I know I already ignored my misgivings to follow you here only to have it end in the same way.”

  “I was distracted and I didn’t give you the attention you needed. I’ll be better this time.”

  “Stop.” She held a finger to his lips with a stern expression. “I’m not a fickle houseplant that needs constant tending or else I will wilt. But I’m also not the kind of person who can be idle. I need a purpose, a job, a reason to greet the dawn with enthusiasm. I can’t get that here.”

  “You could get a job at the Chicago PD.”

  “I don’t want a job with the Chicago PD. I have a great job in Braxville.”

  “It feels like you’re running away.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Then what is this?”

  “It’s being responsible enough to ignore the pain in my heart and doing what’s best for both of us.”

  “That’s very saintly of you,” he said with a harsh look that cut her to the core.

  “Don’t be ugly,” she pleaded, hating that his pain was coming out with a harsh tongue. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

  His expression lost some of its anger. “Baby, I don’t know how to watch you leave. You’re a part of me. You might as well lop off an arm or a leg. It’ll feel about the same.”

  She reached for him, resting her forehead against his. “I know. I feel the same. We both know in our hearts this is the right decision. I don’t want to ever see resentment in your eyes when you look at me, and I don’t want to feel it when I look at you.”

  “So a preemptive strike is the best option?” he asked in disbelief. “Preparing to fail?”

  “No, just honest about life and how it usually turns out when people ignore the reasons why they shouldn’t uproot their lives for someone else.”

  Jordana stepped away, tears stinging her eyes. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

  “If you’re asking me to make it easy to leave me, I won’t.”

  “C’mon, Clint...this isn’t fair.”

  “Damn straight it’s not fair. Not fair to either of us. I’m asking you to give us a shot. You’re saying what we have isn’t worth it for you to take the risk.”

  “I’m not saying that,” she disagreed on a cry. “How can you say that?”

  “Because that’s what I hear you saying. There are no guarantees for anyone. Sacrifices, compromises, they’re all part of a functioning relationship. You gotta try, put in the work, do everything you can to meet your partner in the middle. That’s how things work out in the end.”

  “Really? How would you know that, Clint? Your parents are dead. My parents are stuck in a dysfunctional marriage, eaten up by resentments, and only sheer stubbornness keeps them tied together, not love. I’ve known for a long time, and I swore I’d never have that kind of relationship.”

  “And we won’t,” he said, bewildered. “We love each other.”

  “You think my parents didn’t start wildly in love? Oh, trust me, they were at one point. You don’t have six kids without being into one another at some level. But it changed. Life changes people. Circumstances out of our control changes people. Why would I start a life with someone that I’m almost guaranteed to end up resenting at some point because one or both of us were required to give up something important to the other to make it work? I just won’t do it. I can’t.”

  “I won’t resent you.”

  “I’m not willing to take that chance.”

  He groaned with frustration. “We’re going in circles.”

  “Exactly.” She bent to pick up her luggage. “I was hoping you’d drive me to the airport but maybe it’s best that we just part ways here. I can call an Uber.”

  “That’s cold,” he chided. “Seriously, Jordana. Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’ll drive you.”

  “Thank you,” she said, wishing she didn’t have a golf-ball-size lump in her throat. “I appreciate it.”

  Clint just shook his head, muttering, “Give me a few minutes to get dressed,” and then disappeared into the bedroom.

  She supposed that was as good an ending as she could hope for.

  Still hurt like a bitch.

  * * *

  True to his word, he saw Jordana off to the airport, but he didn’t kiss her goodbye. He didn’t think he could do that without embarrassing himself in front of strangers. He left her there with a curt goodbye, walking away before he could see the tears shining in her eyes. She was leaving as a preemptive strike against a possible future breakup. It was crazy and messed up but he couldn’t change her mind.

  He wasn’t ready to admit that he’d lost her. Wasn’t ready to lose.

  Losing his memory had been an incredible experience. He’d been able to rediscover who he was and who he didn’t want to be.

  He wanted to be a better person. But he couldn’t—and wouldn’t—beg a woman to be with him if she was determined to leave. If Jordana couldn’t see that he was the only man for her and vice versa, there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

  For God’s sake, he’d never had to think twice about finding a date for an event or an evening of no-strings-attached sex. But then Jordana came along and changed everything.

  Damn her for cracking open his heart
and showing him what love was really about. He’d never been in love with Iris. Breaking up with her had been a blessing to them both. To be fair, he didn’t think Iris had loved him, either, but a love match in certain circles wasn’t as important as connections, similar backgrounds and matching goals.

  Why couldn’t he have loved Iris? It would’ve made his life easier by half.

  Of course, there was no way Iris would’ve been able to roundhouse kick his assailant into next week, either. They both would’ve died gruesome deaths if Iris had been the one walking beside him when they were attacked.

  He shuddered.

  So what happens now?

  He goes on with his life as if he hadn’t fallen in love with his soul mate?

  Yeah, sure.

  In the short term, he had a company to keep afloat in the aftermath of Alex’s actions and investors to keep assured that it would continue to be business as usual at Broadlocke. He had lawyers to meet with, financials to break down and, at some point, to testify against his former best friend and business partner.

  On the surface, it would seem falling in love with a woman from tiny town in Kansas would be bad timing. But wasn’t that life in general? Was there ever a good time to fall in love? Love was complicated and messy. It burned with the same fire that lights your soul from within. By its very nature, it can’t be tamed.

  For all her bravery in the field, Jordana was afraid of getting her heart broken. It was better to be the one breaking hearts rather than the one getting broken.

  He had no way of proving to her that he would’ve held her heart in the most gentle of hands. She would’ve needed to take that leap of faith. Faith was something Jordana didn’t have—and he couldn’t give it to her.

  Hell, maybe she was right.

  Even so, why did he feel the urge to buy a ticket and follow her stubborn ass right straight back to Braxville?

  He’d put a ring on her finger, give her babies, build a farmhouse, whatever...if only she’d say yes.