by Alex Grayson
Just then, an older gentleman steps into my office. He moves directly beside Ellie, who looks at him and offers a small smile. The way her eyes soften sends my control closer to the edge.
Who in the fuck is this guy?
As if sensing my thoughts, Ellie turns back to me. “Judge, this is my uncle, Declan. Declan, meet Judge.”
I eye the man, taking in his protective stance beside the two females. He has to be in his early-to-mid fifties. Tall, brown hair with gray streaks on the sides, and dark-brown eyes. His face is covered with a trimmed beard. From the looks of him, he seems to keep in shape.
He holds his hand out, and I look at it for a moment before shaking it. I give his hand a firm squeeze and receive one in return. There’s something about the man that makes me reluctantly like him. Maybe it’s the way he seems to guard Ellie and Maisy, like he’d step in front of a moving car if it meant protecting them.
“Ellie’s told me a lot about you,” he says, his voice deep.
I hold in my surprise at his statement. I can’t imagine anything she said was good.
“We’ve been staying with Declan the last few months.” I look back at Ellie. “He’s been helping me with Maisy.”
I bite back the harsh words wanting to slip out. Later, she’ll fucking explain to me why she waited so long to come to me. Along with why she kept my daughter a secret.
“I’ve got extra rooms at the house. You three can stay with me,” I announce, daring Ellie to refuse.
Thankfully, she doesn’t. “Okay.”
“Mom,” Maisy calls, and we all look down at her. “I’m hungry and tired.”
Ellie’s face softens as she tucks a piece of hair behind Maisy’s ear, love shining in her eyes. “I’ve got something in the car you can have. While you sleep, I’ll run to the store for some groceries.”
“Give me a minute to shut down my office, and we’ll head to my house. I can make us something to eat.”
“She has a strict diet. I’m not sure—”
I cut her off. “My kitchen is stocked, and if I don’t have what she needs, I’ll run to the store.”
Her brows scrunch together but she nods. I’m still with Layla this week, but I won’t be taking them to her house. Not only do my women have their own houses, I keep one for myself as well. It’s not often, but there are times when I want to be alone. The house I kept for myself is the one I grew up in. It underwent a total remodel when my brothers and I first moved back here.
I make sure I have everything, and the three follow me out of my office. Beverly’s curious eyes watch as we move toward her desk.
“I’m taking the rest of the day off. Unless it’s an emergency, I don’t want to be disturbed.”
She nods, then looks at Maisy. I know she sees the resemblance, but she doesn’t comment on it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I shake my head. “I’m taking the next few days off. Reschedule any meetings or hearings I have for next week.”
“Okay.”
As we leave the courthouse, walking slowly because of Maisy’s illness, my gaze keeps drifting to my daughter. Her eyes are drooping, and her face is lined with fatigue. Worry worms its way back in my system. How dire is her situation? Should she be in the hospital and not traveling several states away from her doctors? She looks like she’s about ready to fall over, and it makes me want to scoop her up in my arms. The only reason I don’t is because it would be really fucking weird to her to have a complete stranger pick her up.
I’m just about to say fuck it and do it anyway when she stumbles. We all stop, and Ellie turns to her, concern marking her face.
“Come here, baby.” She bends to pick her up by her knees and around her shoulders, but Declan steps forward and does so himself. Irritation has my jaw clenching. I should be the one carrying Maisy. It’s apparent by the way she clings to Declan that she feels comfortable with him, and I’m glad he’s been around for them, but it still pisses me off that I’m not the one caring for her.
That shit’s going to change.
Chapter Three
ELLIE
I SIT AT THE TABLE AND WATCH as Maisy picks at the bowl of fresh fruit Judge cut up for her to tide her over until he finishes the chicken and rice soup. My knee bounces under the table, and I bite at my thumbnail nervously. As much as I don’t want to be here, I had no other choice. Judge is my last resort. Without him, Maisy will….
I close my eyes and shove the thought from my mind. She’s not going anywhere. We’re going to get past this. Even though I loathed asking him, I know Judge will help us financially. I just hope he’s willing to help with my other request.
“Mom, you’re bouncing the table,” Maisy says after stuffing a grape in her mouth.
“Sorry,” I mutter, giving her a weak smile. I stop bouncing my knee and instead cross my legs. “How’s the fruit hitting your stomach?”
With the advanced kidney disease, she sometimes has trouble keeping food down. She also has loss of appetite, which means she doesn’t eat much, so I’m always happy when she does.
She shrugs. “It’s okay.”
“That’s good.” I smile.
“Where’s Uncle Declan?”
“He’s at the store picking up a few things for me.”
Using the fork, I stab a chunk of apricot and hold it up for Maisy to take. She indulges me by opening her mouth and accepting the fruit. She’ll turn eleven in a few months and is very capable of feeding herself, but I always try to push more on her if I can. Feeling useless and not being able to help your child when they’re sick is one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s little things like feeding her that helps me get through the hard times.
“Do you think he’ll do it?” Maisy asks, lowering her voice.
I lift my gaze and look toward the kitchen. Judge’s back is to me as he stands at the stove. When I first walked into his office earlier, I was struck dumb by his appearance. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him that I often wondered if my memory of him was warped. But no, he’s still just as strikingly gorgeous as I remembered. If anything, he’s even more so. He always had the ability to render me speechless with just a simple look from his stunning green eyes. One thing I always loved about him was that he was tall and muscular. There were a lot of things I loved about Judge.
Until he literally kicked me out of his apartment one night.
I close my eyes at the memory, willing the mental images away. I can’t afford to dwell on the past. My daughter’s life depends on me being strong.
“Mom?”
I open my eyes and look back at Maisy. “I’m sure he will.”
He damn well better. I’ll beg if I need to. Maisy is my life. She’s my sweet, innocent little girl, and she doesn’t deserve what she’s been through. I’ll do anything to get what I need to make her better.
I know Judge is angry about me keeping Maisy from him, but I’m angry too. What he did to me was unforgivable. We weren’t together that long, but from the moment I saw him, I thought he was the one. I fell in love with him hard and fast, pictured a future with him. I thought he felt the same. I’ve never been more wrong.
“Do you think he’ll like me?”
My throat tightens. I’ve never kept her father’s identity from her. I wanted her to know where she came from. My only regret was I didn’t have more pictures of him to give her. My phone was destroyed the night he so ruthlessly kicked me out of his apartment, and I had no way of recovering the lost images. I tried looking him up on Facebook once, but I guess he doesn’t have an account. The only reason I have the one picture I gave Maisy is because I sent it to my email after taking it. I had wanted to have it framed.
Reaching over, I run my knuckles down Maisy’s cheek. “I have no doubt he’ll love you. He’d be crazy not to.”
Her eyes fall away, and she plays with a grape in her bowl. “Maybe he won’t want me because I’m sick.”
I want to br
eak down and scream at God for making this child doubt her worth. She has no clue how special she is. I’ve had my reasons for not telling Judge about Maisy. There’ve been many times I almost came to Malus to tell him but remembering that night twelve years ago held me back. I’m afraid it was a mistake I’ll regret for the rest of my life.
“Baby.” I lift her head by her chin. Tears glisten in her eyes and the look sends shards of pain stabbing at my chest. “I promise you, that won’t stop him from loving you.”
She nods, but I still see the doubt in her eyes. I’ll kick Judge’s ass if he doesn’t make her feel loved and wanted. I don’t care if he has to pretend like he did with me.
He walks into the dining room with two bowls, steam billowing up from them both. He sets one down in front of Maisy, and I’m mildly surprised when he places one in front of me.
“Be careful. It’s hot,” he warns when Maisy picks up her spoon.
He leaves, then returns with a third bowl and sits down in the chair to Maisy’s right, across from me. He doesn’t eat though, his eyes focused on Maisy. I watch several emotions cross his face. The two that stick out the most are anger and affection. The anger pisses me off. Not that I think it’s directed toward Maisy, but he still shouldn’t be looking at her with that emotion displayed on his face.
It’s the affection that gives me hope.
“Do you remember Trouble?” Judge asks, breaking into my thoughts.
I think back to twelve years ago and the three men Judge considered brothers. From my understanding, the four had plans to move to Malus. Of course, this was when it was called Sweet Haven.
“Yes.”
“I’d like to have Maisy’s medical records sent to his office so he can look them over.”
I contemplate his request. Back then, Trouble had just gotten his medical license, so I know he’s a doctor. I never knew him that well, but Judge had always trusted him. It wouldn’t hurt to have him look over her medical history.
“That’s fine. I can have her doctor send them over tomorrow.”
He nods, his jaw still tight, and picks up his fork. I start on my own food. It’s good, and I haven’t eaten since this morning, so before I realize it, my bowl is empty. Unfortunately, Maisy only manages to eat a quarter of hers before she pushes her bowl back. Judge looks at it, a crease forming between his brows.
“She doesn’t have much of an appetite these days. And sometimes when she does, she can’t hold food down,” I explain.
He looks like he wants to ask more, but he doesn’t. There’s a lot he doesn’t know, and I wonder if he refrained from asking because he wants to do it away from Maisy, or he’s trying to keep himself isolated from the situation as much as possible. I’m leaning toward the former.
“Can I lay down now?” Maisy asks through a yawn. Her eyes dart to Judge, just as they’ve been doing off and on since he came into the room. I know she’s curious about him and would like to spend time with him, but her fatigue is getting the best of her.
“Yeah, baby,” I answer and come to my feet. “I’ll grab your bag.”
I turn to Judge, about to ask him what room we can use, but he’s already on his feet, mine and Maisy’s bag in his hand.
“I’ll show you to your room.”
We follow him up a set of stairs and stop at a door down the hallway. He points to the next door over. “That’s my room if you need anything tonight. There’s a room at the opposite end of the hall that’ll be your uncle’s room.”
He opens the door and lets us pass by him. I get a whiff of his woodsy cologne and the memories the scent conjures have an ache forming in my chest. He must still use the same brand he used years ago.
Setting the bag down on the end of the bed, he stuffs his hands into his pockets and turns to face us. He gestures to another door with his chin. “You have your own bathroom.”
His eyes move to Maisy for a moment before shifting to me. “Is there anything you need before I go?”
“No, thank you.”
He moves to leave the room but stops in the doorway and turns back around. A vein in his neck is throbbing.
“I’ll be waiting for you downstairs.”
His words are light, but the look in his eyes is threatening. There’s no way I’m getting out of having the conversation I’ve been dreading since I made the decision to come to Malus. I have no doubt he would drag me downstairs if I even attempted to put it off. I’d rather get it over with anyway.
“I’ll be down once I get her settled in. She’ll probably sleep until morning.”
He jerks his chin up. The harsh look fades from his face when he looks at Maisy.
“Goodnight, Maisy. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I send up a silent thank-you to God when his words bring a slight smile to her face. She doesn’t smile near as much as she used to.
“Goodnight…, Judge,” she replies quietly.
Something strange passes over his face, but before I can analyze it, he’s gently shutting the door. Pulling in a shaky breath, I plaster on a smile before turning to Maisy.
“Come on, let’s get you ready for bed.”
I GRUDGINGLY WALK DOWN the stairs. Nervous jitters almost have me stumbling. I grab on to the railing just in case I decide to take a tumble. I’m on edge because I know Judge is about to let me have it. I had my reason for doing what I did, but I have no qualms believing Judge isn’t in the slightest bit happy about it. He’ll just have to get over his snit.
That’s what I tell myself anyway.
He’s waiting for me in the living room, a glass of dark liquid in his hand. Something tells me it’s much stronger than tea. He’s facing the window that looks out into the backyard. I know he hears my approach, and I can see his eyes in the reflection track my movements, but he doesn’t turn around. I walk to the bar, where a bottle of brandy is sitting, and use the spare glass sitting beside it to pour myself some. I wonder if he put it there for me and what that says if he did. Does he know this is hard on me? Or did he leave a glass because of the explosion he’s about to release? Either way, I need the alcohol for courage.
It’s very rare that I drink, so the liquid burns going down my throat, and I cough to catch my breath.
Judge still doesn’t turn around, just watches my reflection. I decide to keep quiet and let him be the one to break the silence. Five minutes pass, and he still doesn’t say anything. Anxiety becomes my companion as I wait.
I’m about ready to break when the front door opens and Declan walks in. He stops with the door halfway closed, his eyes going from me to Judge. After a moment, he finishes closing the door and carries the bags into the kitchen.
“You okay?” he asks quietly from across the bar as he pulls stuff out of the bags.
My eyes slide to Judge over the bar, then back to Declan.
“Yeah.”
Declan knows of Judge and my past. Every sordid detail. In the beginning, he was pissed over what Judge did, but over time, and once Maisy got sick, he thought it best I tell Judge about her. He was still angry, but thought Judge had a right to know. I refused, my anger and the pain of what he did too strong. Judge did have a right to know about Maisy, but he didn’t deserve it. I almost lost my own life, not to mention Maisy’s, because of his actions.
“Maisy lying down?”
I nod and pour another glass of brandy. This one isn’t as harsh as the first, and I manage to get it down without hacking up my intestines.
“I’m going to leave you two alone and head up to my room to catch up on some work.” He comes around the bar to stand beside me. “Let me know if you need me.”
“Thanks, Uncle Declan.”
His big hand goes to the back of my head and he pulls me forward to place a kiss on my forehead. Declan has done so much for Maisy and me. I have no idea where we’d be if it wasn’t for him.
“You’re doing the right thing. Even if Maisy’s life didn’t depend on it
.” I give him a watery half-smile. “Night, Ellie.”
I watch him walk away, stopping by Judge long enough to find out which room he’s using. It turns quiet again, the only sound the ticking of the clock on the wall.
“You going to explain why in the fuck you didn’t tell me I have a daughter?” he finally asks.
I flinch at his sharp tone. When he turns to face me, I almost recoil at the hatred in his eyes.
I straighten my shoulders and meet his gaze. “No.”
He takes a step forward. “Excuse me?”
“I had my reasons, and I’d prefer to not discuss them right now.”
His eyes narrow into slits. “I have a right to know.”
“You lost that right when you tossed me out of your apartment in the middle of the night barely dressed all those years ago.”
His hands ball into fists and he stuffs them in his pockets. “That doesn’t give you the right to keep my daughter away from me.”
“We’re here, aren’t we?”
He barks out a humorless laugh. “Twelve fucking years later. What kind of bitch doesn’t tell a man he’s fathered a child?”
I toss my hands on my hips and glare at him. “The kind who tries to keep from getting hurt again by that man. The kind who will do anything to protect their child from getting hurt too.”
“That’s fucking bullshit,” he snarls. “You know I’d never hurt you, and you know better than to think I’d hurt my child. Any child, for that matter.”
“Not physically, no, but emotionally, I’m not so sure.” He takes a threatening step toward me, but I hold my ground. “It was so easy for you throw me away that night like I was trash, knowing how I felt about you. We made plans for a future together. You told me you loved me. Who’s to know you wouldn’t do the same to our daughter?”
Grief flashes over his face for a moment before he wipes the look away. “I would have never turned my child away,” he says, his voice gravelly.
“I couldn’t take that chance. You said you loved me,” I repeat, my voice cracking. “You said you always would, but you lied.”
