[Sarah Jane Adventures 02] - Revenge of the Slitheen

by RUPERT LAIGHT

  The capacitor towers were throbbing with life.

  ‘It works!’ yelled Glune Slitheen. ‘Section one is down. Grazie, Napoli. Moving to section two. Hello, Washington DC.’

  ‘Howdy, London!’ came a Slitheen’s distant reply.

  ‘Connect!’

  ‘Mr Smith,’ said Sarah, urgently, ‘give me everything you’ve got on the inhabitants of…’ She needed Luke’s help to pronounce the Slitheen’s planet.

  ‘Raxacoricofallapatorius,’ said Luke.

  Clyde choked with disbelief. ‘You’re making that up!’

  ‘Any weaknesses?’ wondered Sarah Jane, paying no attention to Clyde. Anything we can use to fight them?’

  ‘Accessing,’ said Mr Smith, and his circuits began to make a low churning noise.

  While they waited, Maria noticed how depressed Luke was looking. She smiled at him. ‘Anyone could have made that mistake.’

  ‘No - only he could,’ interrupted Clyde, cruelly.

  ‘Clyde!’ Maria threw him a stern stare.

  ‘Well, duh! Let’s have a High School Musical moment. A group hug will sort everything out.’

  ‘You’re right,’ Luke told Maria. ‘As if an ordinary teacher could’ve designed that system.’

  Mr Smith’s screen had returned to the American news report, ‘… and the power loss is spreading westward. China is now without power, and it may be only a matter of time before the full effect spreads here…’

  Then, without warning, the footage disappeared.

  ‘I have lost the signal,’ said Mr Smith.

  ‘Anything on the Slitheen yet?’ enquired Sarah Jane.

  Accessing.’

  ‘Come on!’ urged Maria.

  They were running out of time.

  ‘Section nine - clear. Dormez bien, Paris,’ chuckled Glune.

  Kist folded his arms, relieved. ‘That makes us next.’

  ‘Synchronise the mega-wattage.’

  His relative searched across the control panel for the correct control.

  Glune waited, impatiently waggling his fingers. ‘Oh, for the love of Clom!’ he cried, and reached for the switch himself.

  Maria bit her lip and stared intently at Mr Smith’s screen. He had gone blank and silent on them. ‘Come on!’ she moaned.

  The computer burst back into life with a loud whirring sound. ‘Raxacoricofallapatorius - calcium-based life form.’

  ‘Give us some weaknesses!’ demanded Maria. ‘Weaknesses. They are a naturally hardy race. However, their bodies are notoriously hypersensitive to…’

  All of a sudden, mid-sentence, Mr Smith’s voice faded and his lights went out, together with all the other lights in the attic. The only illumination came from the early evening sunshine through the dusty windows.

  ‘Oh, no!’ moaned Sarah Jane Smith.

  How would they be able to defeat the Slitheen now?

  Chapter Ten

  The setting of the sun

  Alan was making himself a sandwich. He knew that cheese and pickle didn’t exactly constitute five portions of fruit and veg a day, but it was what he fancied after a long shift at work.

  In-between cutting slices of cheese, he turned on the radio.

  ‘… and scientists are trying to explain the reasons for the blackout,’ said the voice on Radio Four. ‘Though the Prime Minister has released a statement reassuring the public that the British energy system is totally - ’

  Just then the voice cut out. And so did the lights and the fridge.

  ‘Thank you, Prime Minister,’ he said, to no one in particular.

  Sarah Jane was trying to get her sonic lipstick to work. However, the power had been drained from that, too. ‘We can’t stop them without it,’ she said, sadly.

  Clyde looked at his phone. It was dead. ‘It’s real. The end of the world. Thanks to him.’ And he pointed at Luke.

  ‘Will you shut up!’ Maria gave him another hard stare.

  Sarah Jane knew that she could either sort this out herself, or just fall apart and abandon the world to Slitheen rule. And she certainly wasn’t doing the latter. She knew she had her faults, but she wasn’t a quitter.

  Sarah Jane took a deep breath. ‘No Mr Smith. No sonic lipstick. No plan B. But we’re the only people in the world who can stop this. And we will!’ She paused, looking around at her bunch of intrepid teenagers. ‘Time to go back to school!’

  Maria, Luke and Clyde followed Sarah Jane downstairs. She was racing ahead of them, as if she knew exactly what she was doing. In fact, she didn’t have a clue. But sitting still wouldn’t help anyone.

  ‘Without the sonic thing we can’t stop them,’ whined Clyde. ‘They’ll get us before we even reach their machine.’

  Sarah Jane stopped on the landing and turned. ‘If you can’t say anything useful, go home!’ she snapped, and then carried on down the stairs.

  When they reached the front door, Clyde raised his hand. ‘Hold on,’ he said, wracking his brains. ‘This morning, Mr Jeffrey, the Slitheen, he went mad when he nicked my bag.’

  ‘So?’ said Maria, taking her coat down off its hook by the front door and pulling it on.

  ‘Why’s a Slitheen gonna care about that?’ He turned to Luke. ‘You saw him. He sniffed it. He was scared.’ Clyde was getting somewhere now. ‘What if the weakness is something I had in that bag.’ Sarah’s ears had pricked up. Well, what was in the bag?’

  Clyde scratched his head. ‘My books, some Tangfastics… and my lunch.’

  ‘And what was your lunch?’

  ‘Chip sandwich,’ he said.

  ‘Cold?’ That sounded pretty unappetising, thought Sarah.

  ‘I made it this morning.’

  ‘You made it?’

  ‘I wasn’t gonna eat anything from the canteen of death.’

  ‘What - the Slitheen are allergic to potatoes? Bread? Butter?’ pondered Maria.

  ‘No, the Slitheen at the office, she was eating a sandwich,’ said Sarah. ‘What did you have on those chips?’

  ‘Just salt and vinegar,’ shrugged Clyde.

  ‘Salt!’ Maria threw her hands in the air in triumph. ‘That must be it!’

  ‘If the Slitheen are mostly made of water, it would dehydrate them. Like slugs,’ suggested Luke.

  ‘Nah, there’s extra salt in everything you buy. Bread, butter, whatever.’ Clyde paused. ‘It’s gotta be the vinegar!’

  ‘Vinegar - that’s acetic acid,’ explained Luke. ‘It reacts with calcium.’

  ‘And the Slitheen are made of calcium.’ Clyde looked really pleased with himself. ‘I’m right - it’s vinegar!’

  ‘Kitchen!’ yelled Sarah Jane.

  The four of them raced down to the back of the house and into Miss Smith’s kitchen. She immediately set about flinging open cupboard doors and searching inside for things that contained vinegar.

  Jars of salad cream, mayonnaise, balsamic, preserved onions, chutney, cook-in sauces were all slammed down on the table.

  Clyde folded his arms. ‘What we gonna do - pelt ’em with pickled eggs?’ he scoffed.

  Sarah opened the cupboard under the sink and produced two plastic plant sprayers. She unscrewed them. ‘Get it all into these.’

  Maria and Luke started opening jars and bottles and tipping them carefully into the containers, trying not to waste any of their precious contents. ‘I was joking,’ said Clyde, his eyebrows raised. The others ignored him and carried on with their task.

  Suddenly, Maria stopped what she was doing. ‘The car’s not gonna start,’ she said. ‘How do we get back to school?’

  ‘We run!’ said Sarah Jane.

  ‘The capacitors are charged!’ announced Glune Slitheen, triumphantly. ‘Time for the coup de grace. The denouement.’ He strained forwards towards a massive metal lever - one he’d been aching to use for months now.

  ‘Daddy,’ protested the young Korst. ‘You promised I could do it.’

  Kist turned to his clansman. ‘It’s appropriate, don’t you think?’ he a
ppealed. ‘After all, we’re doing this for our children.’

  ‘Yes,’ grinned Glune, with a wicked leer. ‘A new beginning for a new generation of Slitheen.’ He beamed down at Korst. ‘Go ahead, lad.’

  The boy grinned, revealing two rows of pointed little teeth, as he gripped the lever with his threefingered claw.

  At first, it looked as though he would not have the strength required to activate the machinery. But with a heave and a grunt, Korst managed to drag the lever towards him.

  Glune was jubilant. He called into the air, Turn out the sun!’

  Sarah Jane, Maria, Luke and Clyde ran out onto Bannerman Road. They were already out of breath, but stopping to rest was out of the question.

  ‘All this fighting aliens stuff,’ shouted Clyde to Sarah Jane, ‘you’ve been doing it for years?’

  ‘I haven’t really got time,’ protested Sarah Jane. But he was undeterred. ‘What - did you go to the careers guy at school and say, “I wanna defend the planet from alien invaders”?’

  ‘Not exactly.’

  ‘So what happened?’ panted Clyde, determined to find out. ‘How did you get started?’

  ‘It’s a long story,’ bellowed Sarah. ‘If we survive, I’ll be happy to tell you.’

  They had turned the corner into the main road, and skidded to a halt in shock.

  Cars had come to a standstill all over the road - every one silent, and most with their doors standing wide open.

  People buzzed around their vehicles like confused flies, chattering frantically to one another, throwing their arms in the air. They had no idea how they could all lose power at exactly the same time. This was impossible.

  When they tried using their mobiles to call the police or friends, they found those drained of power too, the batteries flat. The same went for their watches, their iPods, and every other electrical gadget.

  Even the advertising board above the petrol station, which usually turned itself around and around ceaselessly, day and night, had come to a halt.

  Some people on the street were starting to get hysterical. There was shouting, the sound of a child crying and even a fight breaking out between two men outside the corner shop.

  Just then, and without any warning, something even stranger happened. Almost as one, the crowds stared across to the west. Had a cloud passed in front of the sun? It was worse than that…

  The edges of the low evening sun were beginning to turn pale. The fiery orange glow was gradually being replaced by a sickly blue.

  It grew cold - as cold as a January morning.

  The people on the street gasped and shook their heads in disbelief, clutching their coats around them. Fingers were pointed at the sky, as it grew darker by the second…

  The sun was dying.

  Chapter Eleven

  Facing the enemy

  ‘What the…’ was all Clyde could think to say

  ‘Its transduction-like the candles,’ explained Luke.

  Maria couldn’t believe what she was seeing. ‘They’ve switched off the sun?’

  ‘They’re draining its power,’ said Sarah Jane.

  ‘It’s getting cold.’ Maria hugged herself to keep warm.

  ‘We’ve got about half an hour,’ said Luke.

  Maria snorted. ‘Thanks for that.’

  ‘Everyone’s gonna die!’ For the first time, Clyde looked genuinely terrified. All his self-assured front was gone.

  ‘I told you,’ Sarah Jane said with confidence. ‘We’re going to stop them.’

  The four of us? With vinegar in plastic squeezies?’

  ‘Yes,’ she insisted. ‘It was your idea - and a brilliant one - so come on!’

  It was growing very dark inside the Jackson house.

  Alan was in the kitchen, squinting at a newspaper in the half-light, when there was a repeated knocking at the front door. He got up to answer it.

  ‘Where’s Maria?’ demanded Chrissie, as she pushed her way inside, without even greeting him.

  ‘Over at her mate’s, I think.’

  ‘You think?’ she stared in disbelief. This is the end of the world!’ Chrissie was never one to underreact.

  ‘It’s a power cut,’ said Alan, trying to calm her. ‘It was on the news. The nights are drawing in.’ He sighed. ‘And you think it’s the end of the world!’

  Chrissie put her hands on her hips in protest. ‘Look out there!’ She pointed angrily toward the window. The sun’s gone blue! It’s freezing!’

  Alan looked out. It certainly was cold, and the sun did look peculiar.

  ‘Where is she, Alan?’ demanded Chrissie. ‘Where’s Maria?’

  The Slitheen’s CCTV monitor had a close-up of Maria’s face on it. Korst twisted the controls and the camera moved out and along, revealing Luke, Clyde and Sarah Jane entering the rear foyer of the new block.

  ‘Daddy,’ said the child. ‘She’s come back.’

  ‘So what?’ snorted Glune. ‘She’s an old woman with a funny lipstick. End of.’

  ‘My hunt!’ Korst cried, demandingly.

  ‘I think an adult better deal with them this time,’ said Glune.

  He straightened up and reached for the zip concealed behind his receding hairline. Blue light blazed across the room…

  ‘They just let us walk in,’ whispered Clyde.

  ‘They want us in here,’ said Luke.

  ‘What luck,’ chipped in Sarah Jane. ‘We want to be in here.’ She turned to Luke. ‘Where’s the secret room?’

  ‘It’s this way,’ he replied, indicating.

  Sarah Jane, Maria, Luke and Clyde made their way down the corridor. And, then, just as they’d all suspected would happen, a Slitheen appeared in front of them. It was Glune Fex Fize - formerly the headmaster. He had been hiding under the staircase.

  ‘Human children!1 he cried. ‘The stench of Haribo and chicken nuggets! Yuk!’

  Sarah Jane confronted him. ‘Get off this planet!’ she ordered, as if he was a naughty child, not a murderous alien.

  The kids looked at one another, terrified. Was Sarah Jane trying to anger the creature?

  ‘Silence!’ roared Glune, and stared at them with his huge, frog-like eyes. Glossy black, they were regularly kept moist by eyelids that flicked inward, not from above, but from both sides. ‘It’s time to hunt now. The hunt is an instinct with us. The only way to keep food safe in the days when the Baaraddelskelliumfatrexius Beasts wandered the plains of Raxacoricofallapatorius.’

  ‘The what?’ asked Clyde, cheekily.

  ‘They’re sort of like giant squirrels,’ said Glune. ‘We killed them all centuries ago.’ His tone changed from almost chatty to menacing. ‘But the hunting instinct remains!’ He lurched forward.

  Clyde bravely jumped in front of the others and squirted a warning jet of his vinegar mixture into the air.

  Glune leapt to one side, dodging the liquid.

  ‘Didn’t like that, did you?’ jibed Clyde, firing off more shots.

  Maria joined in and let out a squirt from her bottle. ‘Vinegar!’ she declared. ‘Get back!’

  ‘Sarah Jane,’ said Luke, taking her arm. ‘This way.’

  Luke pulled his adoptive mother down the corridor towards the hidden entrance to the capacitor room.

  Sarah Jane glanced back at Clyde and Maria, who were keeping the Slitheen at bay for her. ‘It’s working,’ Maria called to her, pumping more vinegar in Glune’s direction. ‘We’re doing our bit, Sarah. Now you do yours.’

  Sarah Jane followed Luke towards the secret door, confident that Maria knew what she was doing - even with the deadly danger she was facing.

  The creature made a grab for Maria. Its huge claw lashed out and tried to seize her. But Clyde was in quickly.

  ‘One step further…’ he warned.

  Unafraid, Glune loomed closer to the lad. ‘Come on then…’ he teased.

  Clyde took a deep breath and squeezed his bottle. Nothing. He tried again. Still nothing came out. It was empty.

  ‘Keep ba
ck! ’ yelled Maria. She thrust her container of vinegar ever closer to the alien’s face, trying to raise the nerve to kill him. But she hesitated.

  ‘You’re afraid!’ laughed Glune. ‘A Slitheen girl your age would do it - wouldn’t think twice. But all the fight’s gone out of you. You just stand there shaking in your trainers.’

  Maria’s hackles were rising. How much more goading could she take before she squeezed the bottle?

  ‘That’s why we survive,’ continued the Slitheen. ‘That’s why you’re losers. All of you on this rubbish planet. That’s why we win!’

  Glune was almost on top of Maria, his great green paw ready to smash the bottle out of her hand.

  She steeled herself. She wasn’t going to let this alien talk about her planet like that. She ripped of the lip of her container and shook the entire contents over Glune.

  A shocked look filled his alien features. Then he blinked several times, staggered backwards, and rubbed at his face. Finally, he emitted a low, strangulated groan, a terrible gurgle and a massive, deafening fart - so loud it would have produced a respectable reading on the Richter Scale.

  Then, in the blink of an eye, he exploded. Splat! Bits of slimy Slitheen body and guts flew everywhere. However, most of Glune seemed to land on Clyde, who wiped the gunk off his face with a sigh.

  ‘Great,’ he said, sarcastically. But he was beaming proudly at his friend’s courage.

  Maria couldn’t believe she’d found the strength to annihilate the creature. ‘I did it!’ she exclaimed. She was a bona fide alien-basher again - just like Sarah Jane.

  Inside the capacitor room, Kist and his son were surrounded by sparks and electrical flashes as their machine drained power from the Earth.

  Suddenly, Kist’s body shook. He had felt a strange, distressing twinge. ‘One of the family…’ he moaned, ‘Something’s wrong!’

  He looked up at the CCTV screen. Maria and Clyde were standing in a pool of Slitheen fluids.

  ‘Daddy, look!’ said Korst, seeing what his father saw.

  Kist took the microphone and spoke sadly into it. ‘This is Kist Magg Thek Lutovin Day Slitheen calling the family,’ he said. ‘We are under attack! Glune Fex Fize is dead. Emergency plan A - all operators here - now!’