Secrets of My Hollywood Life

by Jen Calonita

  "NADINE'S IDEA. NOT THAT YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. THE ONLY CALL I'VE GOTTEN TODAY IS FROM CELEB INSIDER. THEY WANTED TO DO A PUFF PIECE."

  "Good." I breathe a sigh of relief.

  "BUT REMEMBER -- SHOULD ANYTHING GO WRONG, GIVE REPORTERS THE MARIE CLAIRE STORY."

  "Nothing's going to go wrong," I reassure her.

  "FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE AND RODNEY AND NA-DINE ARE UNDER ORDER TO WHISK YOU OUT OF THERE," Laney warns me anyway.

  "Deal," I agree.

  "I WON'T START WITH YOU NOW, BUT YOU KNOW THIS IS A SIGN YOU SHOULD START WRAPPING THE SCHOOL THING UP."

  Across from me, Beth and Allison are giggling as Nadine takes a picture of them wearing each other's wigs.

  "I know," I say sadly.

  "YOU SHOULD START PREPPING FOR THE HUTCHIE FILM. I'M SURE YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT."

  Next, Nadine takes a picture of the three girls together, all wearing opposite wigs. God, I hope they don't ask me to take off mine. "We'll talk about wrapping it up this weekend, okay?" I agree, watching them.

  "OKAY. HAVE FUN," Laney orders. I hear muffled voices in the background yelling the word "Julia." "HOLD ON. GUYS, WRAP IT UP," I hear Laney bark. "JULIA HAS TO GET INSIDE ... KAITLIN, I HAVE TO GO."

  "Okay. But did you just tell me to have fun?"

  She chuckles. "WHY NOT? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE SCHEDULED FOR YOU TONIGHT."

  "Thanks, Mom." I sigh. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hang up just as we pull up to Clark's stone wall gates. Rodney drives the limo across campus and parks in the packed gymnasium parking lot. As we begin to exit the Hummer, I notice through the covered gym windows red and blue lights from the DJ booth pulsing to the faraway sounds of the Black Eyed Peas.

  "If you don't mind, I'd like to escort you all inside," Rodney announces. "I promised your father I would," he adds, looking at me.

  "Thanks, Rodney," Liz says, holding Josh's hand. "Will you be here to pick us up after?"

  "Yep. In the same spot," he tells her as we walk towards the door. "Your father said to take you anywhere you want to go."

  "Maybe we can get something to eat afterwards," Liz suggests, looking at Josh.

  "Yeah, if Rach plans on joining us," Beth teases. "We may not be able to pull her away from Austin."

  "Ha, ha." I poke her in the ribs.

  "Hey, what is that van from Celeb Insider doing here?" Allison asks as we get closer to the gym's double doors. A white van with electrical wires poking out of the door and winding into the school is backed up to the gym steps.

  "Oh, that must be for Sky," Beth comments absently. "She told me she may have some press here to cover her participation."

  "That would explain why Hollywood Nation is here too," Allison adds, pointing to another van located a few parking spots away.

  "I thought you said it was just a magazine reporter," Liz exclaims.

  "What's the difference?" Beth shrugs.

  I look at Nadine and Liz. Nadine looks from me to Rodney.

  Nadine never gets ruffled, but now she looks a little nervous. She walks in front of us and blocks the doorway. "Why don't we get a few more pictures of you guys before you go inside?" She motions to Rodney. "Rodney could you get my assistant Laney on the phone?" He quickly pulls his cell out of his tuxedo pants pocket and begins dialing.

  "We can take more pictures later," Beth says, pushing ahead of Nadine and opening the door before I can stop her. "I'm dying to see how the gym looks filled with people." She grabs my hand and Liz's free one. "Come on, you guys."

  Beth pulls Liz, Josh, and me through the open double doors before Nadine can stop her. I look around the crowded dance floor nervously. I see Tom Cruises, Paris Hiltons, and a lone Johnny Depp, but nothing out of the ordinary. As Beth pulls me along, I turn around and look for Nadine. She's standing in the doorway talking animatedly on the phone. I must look nervous because when Nadine looks up and sees me, she smiles weakly and motions to Rodney, who appears to be tracking me at a distance.

  "Are you okay?" Liz frees her right arm from Beth's grasp. "I'm sure everything is fine." I nod. "We'll be by the photo booth if you need us." She squeezes my bare arm and walks off with Josh and Allison.

  "I want to introduce you to Sky," Beth squeals, tugging me along.

  "Actually, I have to go meet Austin," I tell her, and free my arm. "I'll meet her later."

  "It will just take a minute," Beth insists, looking around the packed gym. But before she can grab my arm again, Rob Murray walks up dressed as Will Smith. He smiles at Beth shyly. That distracts her.

  "I'll be right back with Austin," I apologize, hurrying off. I peer over people's bobbing heads and see The Ivy across the room. I try to hurry through the dance floor, but it takes forever. Every few feet, I see someone I know and wind up chatting about costumes. (I have to keep from laughing when people ask, "You're dressed as who?")

  When I finally make it over to The Ivy, I see Austin standing alone in front of the crowded café. He looks cuter than Trevor ever could, I think as I take in his seersucker pants (a bad Trevor trademark), white Lacoste shirt (I don't think Trevor knows what Lacoste is), and black aviator shades. Austin sees me and breaks into a wide grin. My stomach drops to the floor. And that's when I realize -- despite everything going on at the moment, all I care about is reaching him and telling him how much I like him. Could it be that Austin feels the same way? He strides towards me, never breaking eye contact, and I feel my cheeks burn hotly. I'm a few feet away when someone grabs my shoulder.

  "I found Sky," Beth exclaims excitedly as Rob bounces to the Mariah Carey tune behind her. "She really wants to meet you." Before I can protest, Beth yells, "Sky over here!"

  "What do you mean she really wants to meet me?" I demand, whirling Beth around so fast that her pearls whip her in the face. She and Rob look at me surprised. "She's been asking me all kinds of questions about Clark Hall," Beth says. "She wanted to know all about you guys -- especially you, Rach."

  Sky wanted to talk about someone other than herself?

  "Is that so?" I try to remain calm. "Why is that?" I turn my head to the left and see Sky strutting straight towards us with two bodyguards at her side and a Hollywood Nation crew following close behind her. She's causing such a commotion a crowd has formed around her, including Lori and Jessie, who are dressed as Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I turn around desperately and search the crowd for Rodney. I see him barreling towards Sky. Two more bodyguards appear and start pushing him back. Oh man, this isn't good.

  "She loves English people," Beth explains. "She asked me all about your accent, what you looked like, and how good of friends we were. She said she couldn't wait to meet you." I think I might faint. I reach out and grab Rob's arm for support.

  "Are you okay, Rachel?" Rob asks.

  Oh my God ... She knows.

  Sky took my Sidekick. That's why the gossip vans are here.

  I've got to get over to Rodney. I look towards the DJ and see Nadine totally uncomposed, screaming at her cell phone. When she sees me, she starts frantically waving me over. She must know too.

  "Hey, Kaitlin," Austin jokes as he walks up behind me. "You look great. I bet even Sky Mackenzie is fooled."

  "Thanks," I say distractedly, looking for a break in the crowd to get to Nadine. I've got to move fast. I grab Austin's arm and start pulling him away. I'll take him with me and try to explain everything. "You look good too. Let's get out of here."

  "Hey, Sky!" Beth calls. To Austin's surprise, I duck my head into his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist. If it were any other time, I would melt, but now I'm too freaked out to enjoy the moment. Maybe she won't see me. She'll just walk by with her camera crew, going on about that risqué fast food chain commercial she just shot wearing nothing but a string bikini. (What does a bikini have to do with eating a hamburger?)

  "Cute costume," Sky says, stopping in front of Austin and me. She's wearing a fiery red mini-dress and looks like she's ready for war. I stare at the ground. "I fee
l like I've seen it somewhere before ... Hmm ... maybe FA's wardrobe department?"

  She definitely knows. There's no longer any question.

  "Austin, I'm sorry, I have to go. Come with me," I say quickly, pulling myself away.

  "Wait, we just got here." He reaches for my hand.

  But Sky grabs it first. "Where you off to, K? Got someplace to be, Kaitlin?" she taunts. Liz, Allison, and Josh are pushing through the crowd, but they're still several feet away. I see Rodney yelling at two beefy guys aggressively holding him back. I look desperately at Liz. She knows I want to scream.

  "Sky, her name's really Rachel," Beth corrects her as Rob looks on.

  "She's not Rachel, Bethie," Sky sneers. "She's Kaitlin Burke."

  "You mean she's playing Kaitlin Burke," Allison laughs, oblivious to the tension seething in the room. "It's a great costume, right?" Sky laughs shrilly.

  "Sky, this is wrong," Liz yells as she pushes her way closer.

  "Sky, don't," I plead as Austin whispers in my ear, "What's her problem?" I yank my wrist away from Austin and try to make a run for it, but I trip and fall over my three-inch Nine West heels. Austin reaches out to help me up, but one of Sky's other two bodyguards holds him back while another pulls me up and roughly locks me in his arms.

  "Hey," Austin protests gruffly. But Sky cuts him off and eyes me smugly.

  "Ladies and gentleman, I have an announcement to make," she says into a wireless microphone that a crew member from Hollywood Nation hands her.

  "Liz, I've got to get to Nadine," I shout as I fight to pull away from Sky's man handler. She can't reach me but she starts desperately pushing towards me. "Let me through," she shouts. But Sky has thought this through. The camera crews, four bodyguards ... she left nothing to chance. The DJ cuts the Mariah tune that's playing and everyone on the dance floor turns to see what the commotion is about.

  "Let her GO," Austin shouts at the beefy bald guy I'm struggling to get away from.

  Sky covers the microphone. "You probably want to turn your cameras on now," she tells the Nation crew. Then she smiles at me coldly as she uncovers the mic. "I'm not the only FA star in attendance here tonight," she announces calmly.

  "DON'T!" I beg, and scramble to grab her mic. "I can explain!" But my voice is drowned out by the commotion around me.

  "... My Family Affair costar is also here!" she shouts. "Clark Hall, give it up for the real Kaitlin Burke!" The crowd starts to cheer, not realizing what's going on.

  "You've got it wrong!" Austin calls out to Sky. "Rachel's dressed up as Kaitlin."

  "There is no Rachel, cutie," Sky says coolly. With my free arm, I take a swing at Sky, like the kind Liz taught me from her kickboxing class, but she's too quick. She pulls the wig right off my head, then grabs my glasses. Allison gasps. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I feel like I'm going to pass out as the Nation crew shines a bright light on me. The crowd standing around Sky starts murmuring at once. Liz breaks through the mob and tries to grab me, but a bodyguard sees her and pushes her back.

  "You've got to be kidding me," Lori scoffs, and nudges Jessie. "She's Kaitlin Burke?"

  Jessie shrugs. "I thought she was a nerd."

  "What the ..." Austin looks beyond confused.

  "Oh my God, you're the real Kaitlin." Beth claps her hand over her mouth.

  "Cool," Rob Murray whispers.

  "I've been working on a story for Marie Claire," I say desperately, blinking in the bright light and looking from Austin to Allison to Beth. But my voice is drowned out by Sky.

  "You've been duped," she announces to the now quiet crowd. "Rachel is not Rachel at all, she's Kaitlin Burke. She's been pretending to be someone she's not -- wearing colored contacts, a wig, dopey glasses, using a bogus accent -- she's been lying to you for months."

  "You stole my Sidekick! That's why you're here!" I scream angrily, pushing to get away. "Rodney, do something!" I yell. Rod is bumping the men around him, trying to get to me.

  Sky bats her eyes at me, then addresses the Hollywood Nation camera. "Do you see what I'm talking about, America? My Family Affair sister, Kaitlin Burke, is desperately crying out for help." She chokes on a fake sob. "She wants out of her contract, out of movie-making. She wants a normal life. I knew I had to help her and expose her for who she really is. She doesn't care about any of you," Sky adds, addressing my new friends. "She's just using you to hide from the world."

  "You LIAR!" I yell desperately, then break down in tears as flashbulbs start popping all around me. Austin's face is numb. I want to reach him and explain, but he pushes past Lori and Jessie, disappearing into the crowd. Sky steps back and watches all of this with a sly grin plastered on her face.

  "Kaitlin, why did you go undercover?" someone shouts, shoving a microphone in my face.

  "Kaitlin, is it true you hate Hollywood?"

  "Kaitlin, why the disguise?"

  Tears are streaming down my face as I look at Beth and Allison's hollowed expressions. People are shouting, but I can't make out what they're saying anymore. That's when I see Liz with Rodney. Sky's bodyguard lets go of me immediately and Rodney tries to shield me. Nadine appears on my other side to block the crowd.

  "We've got her," I hear Rodney say into his phone. The next thing I know, they've pulled me from the crowd, out the door, and into the waiting limo. I sob hysterically the whole way.

  Seventeen: Facing the Press

  WHY IS HOTTER-THAN-HOT ACTRESS KAITLIN BURKE LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE? WE'VE GOT THE ANSWER FROM HER COSTAR SKY MACKENZIE - AND THE FOOTAGE FROM HER HIGH SCHOOL DANCE- TONIGHT AT 7, ONLY ON HOLLYWOOD NATION!

  I flip to channel seven.

  HAS ONE OF HOLLYWOOD'S MOST LOVED STARLETS DECIDED TO RETIRE AT THE TENDER AGE OF 16? SUZY WALKER INTERVIEWS KAITLIN BURKE'S BEST FRIEND AND COSTAR, SKY MACKENZIE, TO FIND OUT.

  Sky's face flashes across the TV screen. She's being interviewed by Celebrity Insider reporter Suzy Walker.

  "I've been worried about K for a long time," Sky says to Suzy, her big brown eyes shining with tears. "That's why I had to help her go free and expose what she was doing. Only someone truly unhappy with her life would create a façade like that."

  "Why do you think she's so unhappy?" Suzy tilts her head to one side to show that she's listening seriously.

  Sky wells up with tears. "She doesn't want to act anymore. She's just doing it to please her family...."

  WATCH THE REST OF THIS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, ALONG WITH THE REACTION FROM KAITLIN'S HIGH SCHOOL....

  The next thing I see is Lori and Jessie standing in front of South Hall at Clark.

  "Kaitlin is welcome back at Clark Hall anytime," Lori gushes. She's wearing a homemade "Family Fanatic" tight tee.

  "We're big fans," Jessie seconds. They both maddeningly wave to the camera as it pans to a group of angry-looking parents standing next to them.

  "Kate Bubble lied to our children and passed herself off as someone she's not just to fulfill some whim of hers. It's absurd!" seethes a harried-looking woman wearing a wrinkled linen suit.

  YOU'LL FIND THE WHOLE STORY HERE, ONLY ON CELEBRITY INSIDER!

  I turn off the TV and chuck the remote at my bedroom door. It lands with a thud on the floor.

  "What was that?" I hear Nadine ask. She's been sitting outside my door for an hour. "Kates, you can't hide in there forever."

  "Yes, I can," I reply stubbornly. "I have everything I need right here." Bags of Cheetos and cans of Sprite and M & M's litter my unmade bed. It's Sunday morning and I haven't gotten out of my sweats since I tearfully slipped them on Friday night.

  "You're going to run out of snacks eventually," Nadine says coolly.

  I ignore Nadine and my phone, which is ringing again.

  "DON'T ANSWER IT!" I hear my mother yell through the door. "LANEY SAID NOT TO ANSWER IT!"

  The phone hasn't stopped ringing since Friday night, when Rodney walked me to my front door, as I still cried like a baby. A white-faced, shell-shocked Mom and Dad were waiting for me.<
br />
  "I told you this was a bad idea ...," Mom begins.

  I ignore her and march past all of them into the kitchen, where Anita is making a midnight snack for herself. I grab some of her loot, run upstairs, and lock my door.

  I turn on the radio to drown out Nadine's and Mom's pleas.

  ROB SEABRIGHT HERE AND THIS IS MY CELEBRITY RANT FOR SUNDAY! AFTER KAITLIN BURKE'S STARTLING DECLARATION THAT SHE'S THROUGH WITH ACTING, HOLLYWOOD IS HOT ON THE RUMOR THAT THE TEEN TITAN WILL BE WRITTEN OUT OF FAMILY AFFAIR NEXT SEASON. THE BUZZ IS THAT SKY MACKENZIE, WHO PLAYS HER SCHEMING SIS, WILL HAVE A BEEFED-UP ROLE. SKY APPEARS TO ALSO HAVE A LOCK ON HUTCH ADAMS'S NEW FILM, FOR WHICH HE WAS ORIGINALLY CONSIDERING KAITLIN ...

  I turn off the radio and let out an ear-piercing scream.

  "Kaitlin! I demand you open this door immediately." It's Mom again.

  "I'm never coming out of my room again!" I yell at the door. "My career is ruined, Austin thinks I'm a fake, and Rob Seabright says Hutch is hiring Sky! And all I ever wanted was a couple months off to be normal." I throw myself back on my bed and dissolve in tears.

  "Who's Rob Seabright?" I hear my mom ask Nadine.

  "Kates, don't cry," Nadine whispers.

  I just sob harder, ignoring the sound of my doorknob jiggling. Next thing I know, the door is wide open.

  "Hey," Matt says calmly. He walks into the room carrying a pizza box.

  "How'd you do that?" I demand, sitting up quickly and wiping my face with my food-stained t-shirt.

  "Give us a minute," Matt tells Mom and Nadine, who are peering in the doorway at me. Matt shuts the door again and locks it. He holds up Mom's Amex. "Works every time." He grins. "I've busted into Dad's office with this too."

  "Go away." I throw my head down on my pillow. "You got what you wanted. My career is over. Call Tom. Maybe he'll give you my job."

  Matt sits down on the edge of my bed. "I don't want your job, Kates. I just want to bring you some sustenance."

  He holds out the box. A SLICE OF HEAVEN is stamped on the top. In the corner is a hand-written note. "We still love you," it says, and it's signed by Antonio. I lift the box lid. The aroma of peppers, broccoli, and cheese fills the air. I look at Matt skeptically.