Hometown Christmas Gift (Bent Creek Blessings Book 3)

by Kat Brookes

  “Same here,” she said, growing teary-eyed. “Do you have time to talk?” she asked, motioning toward the settee on the porch.

  “Always,” he said, waiting for her to take a seat before joining her.

  She turned, looking up at him. Jackson deserved to know the truth. She just prayed Tucker was right about it setting her free. She’d spent so many years harboring guilt, harboring her unrequited love for Jackson, harboring regret. “I was in Vegas...” she began, praying the admission she was about to make wouldn’t ruin all the inroads they had made where their friendship was concerned.

  * * *

  Despite having overheard his brother talking to Lainie that day in the barn, Jackson hadn’t expected her to take his advice. Not when she’d kept the truth from him for so long. “You were in Vegas?” he replied, wanting to let her tell her story. He owed her that much.

  “The day after your accident,” she went on, her hands twisting together nervously on her lap, “I flew to Las Vegas. I needed to see you. Needed to know that you were going to be all right.” Tears welled in her beautiful hazel eyes. “Because even if you couldn’t love me back, I still loved you. Even when I had no right to, because I was marrying someone else. That’s why I left without seeing you. I had to do what was right. I had to let go.”

  “Lainie,” he said, trying to find the words to tell her how her honest admission made him feel.

  “You don’t have to say anything, Jackson,” she told him. “Just hear me out. I’ve told you before that I blame myself for your accident. I thank the Lord every day you didn’t die that night.”

  “You’ve been honest with me,” he said. “Now it’s my turn to tell you the truth. I couldn’t tell you that night at the dance when you poured your heart out to me. I loved you.” He’d held those words back for so long that finally freeing them from his heart felt as though new life had just been breathed into him.

  “What?” she gasped in shock, her wide eyes searching his.

  “I know you’ve heard the saying about if you love someone set them free,” he said. “I had to set you free. You had worked so hard for that scholarship. I couldn’t in good conscience let you give that up for me, which I knew you would if I had told you how I really felt.”

  Tears spilled onto her cheeks, shimmering under the faint glow of the porch light above. “You loved me.”

  He nodded. “I pushed you away emotionally that night, because it was the right thing to do. Even if it tore my heart out to see the hurt I caused you. Foolish young man that I was, I thought time would eventually help to heal the emotional distance you felt the need to put between us. You’d get your degree. And then you’d come home, and we would be free to follow our hearts. I hadn’t counted on you shutting me out of your life completely.”

  “Or marrying someone else,” she said sadly.

  “Or marrying someone else,” he agreed, his words raspy with emotion. He hadn’t been prepared for that possibility. Although he should have been. Lainie was a special person with a giving heart.

  “Oh, Jackson,” she groaned. “If I had known...”

  He gave her a tender smile. “Then Lucas wouldn’t be a part of your life. I did the right thing. No matter how hard it was to know another man had the love of the only woman to hold my heart.”

  “Thank you for doing the right thing,” she told him. “Because my son means the world to me.”

  “Thank you for forgiving me and allowing us to rebuild our friendship,” he told her, fighting the urge to tell her that he stilled loved her. More now than ever. He wouldn’t because, first and foremost, Lainie’s focus needed to be on her son, on the new life she was building for her and Lucas there in Bent Creek. And, second, he was no longer the same adventure-seeking young cowboy she had once loved. Time, along with his near-death rodeo accident, had changed him irrevocably. Could Lainie ever bring herself to love the man he had become?

  Lainie leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m so glad we had this talk. My heart feels so much lighter.”

  He rested his head atop hers. “Me, too, Lainie Girl. Me, too.”

  “You’re the only one who’s ever called me that,” she murmured against his shirt.

  “Among some other names,” he told her, needing to lighten things up before he gave in to the urge to kiss her. They both needed to process this new shift in their relationship before taking things any further. “Like Shorty,” he went on. “And Pigtails. And—”

  Lainie nudged him in the ribs with an elbow. “Those are ones I can do without being reminded about, thank you very much.”

  Jackson smiled. This was the closest he’d felt to Lainie in years.

  “I’m so glad we moved back,” she said with a soft sigh.

  “So am I,” he told her. “And know that if there’s ever anything you need, all you have to do is ask. I’m here for you, Lainie Girl. And for your son.”

  “There is something...” she said, lifting her head.

  “And that something would be?”

  “Would you be willing to let me practice driving in your truck again? I can’t remain in Bent Creek and not be able to drive. But before I invest in a vehicle of my own, I need to be more comfortable behind the wheel again.”

  “It’ll come,” he told her. “And the more you drive, the more at ease you’re going to become.”

  “I pray you’re right,” she told him. “That day you let me drive your truck I felt more comfortable than I could have ever imagined feeling while sitting behind the wheel again. Maybe I need to look into buying a truck as my next mode of transportation. There’s just something about sitting higher up off the ground in a vehicle made for tougher riding conditions that makes me feel safer.”

  He grinned. “And here I thought we had decided that it was my being there beside you that set you at ease that day.”

  “No doubt that played into it,” she said with a smile.

  “Blue is going to be baking cookies with her grandmother tomorrow morning,” he told her. “Her favorite pastime. I’m sure Mom won’t mind having another helper in the kitchen if you drop Lucas off an hour or so before we set out on our horseback ride around the ranch.”

  “I’m sure he won’t either,” she replied with a smile. “Not when cookies of any sort are involved.”

  “Good. That will give us a chance to take a drive and work on getting you more comfortable behind the wheel. Maybe venture out a little farther away this time around. Like into town.”

  “Into town,” she gasped. “Where there will be other cars?”

  “Most roads will have other cars on them,” he said calmly.

  She frowned. “I know that. I guess I thought I’d just drive up and down your road the first few times. Going into town, where I know there will be traffic, is daunting even to think about.”

  “Taking back your life, means pushing away those fears that have kept you from doing so,” he told her. “Wouldn’t it do your heart good to be the one driving to those homes we’ll be dropping those gift baskets off to next week? Because I would be more than happy to let you drive when we go.”

  She appeared to deliberate the possibility for a long moment, and then a small smile drew the corners of her mouth upward. “I can’t think of a better reason to work on getting past my fears, than to use that newfound courage to help others in need. And delivering those baskets to those families in need with you by my side will make that day all the more meaningful.”

  Her words touched him deeply. The great divide that had been between them for so long had shrunk to no more than a miniscule crack now. They were mending emotional fences he’d once thought could never be repaired. And his heart was still invested, despite his determination not to let himself get caught up in the love he’d once felt for Lainie. Still felt for Lainie. And the more time he spent with her—seeing her unfaltering love for her son, joy in he
lping others, how easily she fit into his family—only made Jackson love her more. Looking out for Lainie and her son no longer felt like an obligation. It felt right, like it was what the good Lord had put him on this earth to do.

  Chapter Nine

  “Told you he was a natural,” Jackson said as he and Lainie rode at an easy pace, just behind Lucas, who had taken the lead on his new mount. His posture was as it should be, his balance right on. Cody was answering the basic physical commands he’d instructed Lucas to use. And the boy was proudly wearing the new blue helmet Jackson had bought for him.

  Lainie’s smile widened. “It’s like he was born in the saddle.”

  Jackson glanced her way, grinning. “You do notice that he’s bound and determined to make us eat his dust. Remind you of anyone?”

  She laughed. “I can’t help it you and Justin struggled to keep up with me when we were younger. I guess I was just more of a natural than either of you two were.”

  He chuckled. “Guess so.” He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this at ease. This happy. Even the slight ache in his bum leg and hip couldn’t bring him down. He was doing what he loved with the woman he loved. Loved. If it felt this good to think it, he could only imagine how good it was going to feel to say it. He’d never imagined ever telling any woman after his accident, most especially Lainie, who he’d ended things with years before in such a regrettable way. But the time needed to be right, and that was something he would have plenty of now that Lainie and her son had moved home to Bent Creek.

  His gaze drifted to Lainie, recalling the determination with which she took to driving his truck that morning and the smile she’d had on her face when she’d driven all the way down the main street of town and then back again. They had even taken the time to stop by Bent Creek’s only car lot, one that carried primarily used vehicles, to look at a few of the trucks. Maybe time didn’t just heal all wounds. It healed all fears, too. Because Lainie had put money down on a used, cherry-red, Ford F-150. He had faith that she would be able to drive around without his emotional support someday very soon.

  “Annie is such a responsive horse,” Lainie said, drawing Jackson from his musings.

  “She has a skilled rider,” he replied with a grin.

  Lainie snorted. “Not sure how skilled I am. It’s been years since I’ve ridden.”

  “You still have it,” he assured her, feeling his grin widen.

  His gaze shifted back to Lucas, whose horse was pulling away, having gone from a gentle trot into a canter. “Lucas,” Jackson called out, “we’re taking the horses on a slow ride today. Nothing faster.”

  “I’m trying,” he called back, his voice showing the slightest amount of panic.

  Sensing the boy’s fear, Jackson urged his mount to pick up speed until he was riding alongside Lucas. He had faith in Lucas and his natural instincts when it came to riding, but he wanted to let Lucas know he wasn’t alone in this. “Remember what I taught you,” he told Lainie’s son. “Leaning forward tells the horse you want to pick up speed. This is where you need to sit back in the saddle, keep your heels down and pull back easy on the reins until Cody slows his pace.”

  Lucas did as instructed, bringing the Paint’s gait back down from a fast canter to a walk. “I did it,” he gasped.

  “You did good, son,” Jackson told him. “Now ease up on the reins. Thatta boy.”

  “Good boy, Cody,” Lucas praised with a bright smile.

  Lainie caught up to them, mouthing the words thank you to Jackson.

  He nodded his response, not wanting to make a big fuss over Lucas’s momentary loss of control of his mount. The important thing was Lucas’s ability to follow direction when faced with an unexpected challenge. Her son was learning and sometimes experience was the biggest lesson of all. Had Lucas not been able to regain control, Jackson would have taken over and slowed the horse for him. He was grateful Lucas had been able to do so on his own, with only a brief reminder of the instructions he’d been given during their many riding lessons together. It had given the boy a sense of pride and accomplishment.

  “He’s a smart horse,” Lainie told her son. Her horse bobbed its head with a whinny. “See, Annie, says so, too.”

  “Horses can’t talk,” Lucas countered with a roll of his eyes that looked to Jackson to be more insolent than playful.

  “Maybe not the way we do,” Jackson said in Lainie’s defense as they crossed a wide expanse of pasture. “But they do communicate in their own way. For instance, a snort means there’s possible danger. A low nicker means he’s glad to see you. A snort can be their way of saying ‘what’s this?’ or simply mean he’s bored.”

  “Wow,” Lucas said, his expression now one of genuine awe. “I didn’t know they could talk.”

  “There’s a lot you still don’t know about horses,” Jackson told him. “Things you can learn from your mother, and your uncle, and myself. Any of my family members for that matter,” he added. “We’ve all had years of riding experience.”

  “Jackson’s right,” Lainie joined in. “Don’t ever be afraid to ask when you’re unsure of something. We just want you to be safe. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you,” she said, emotion making her voice catch. “I love you.”

  “You didn’t love my dad,” Lucas blurted out. “Or he wouldn’t be dead.”

  Lainie’s pained gasp echoed in Jackson’s ears.

  “Lucas,” he scolded, beyond disappointed in the boy he’d come to care so much about.

  “I’ll see you both back at the ranch,” Lainie said brokenly.

  Before Jackson could respond, she was gone, racing off across the pasture as she had done many times as a young girl. Only this time the hurried ride wasn’t one of pleasure or joy. It was one motivated by hurt and the need to distance herself from that pain. Lainie had put up with a lot from her son, and she’d had her reasons for doing so, but this time Lucas had gone too far.

  “Pull back on the reins until you bring Cody to a stop,” Jackson ground out, praying for patience and calm. “We’re going to walk from here.”

  “But your barn is a long way away,” Lucas muttered with a frown.

  “A long walk is what you need right now,” he told the boy sternly. “It’ll give you a chance to think over your actions a moment ago.”

  Lucas glanced over him, visibly frustrated as he brought his horse to a stop.

  Jackson did the same, dismounted and then walked over to Lucas, lifting him down from the Paint with ease while holding both horses in one hand.

  “I’m not sorry,” Lucas grumbled.

  “You should be,” Jackson replied. “You just broke the heart of the person who loves you most in the whole world. And it’s not the first time you’ve intentionally set out to hurt your mom. I’ve seen it and forced myself to let it pass, just as she has, because you’ve suffered a very painful loss. But you’re not the only one hurting. Your mom is, too. And I care far too much about her to just continue to stand by and watch you treat her the way you do.” He handed Lucas his reins and then took up his own. “Let’s walk.”

  Grumbling under his breath, Lucas set out on foot across the pasture, leading his horse behind him.

  Jackson fixed his gaze on the land ahead of him. Lord help him, because giving tough love hurt his heart. He just prayed it was the right thing to do, because his experience in dealing with troubled children was nonexistent.

  They walked in silence as Jackson waited for Lucas to come to his senses and apologize but the boy remained stubbornly silent.

  Shaking his head, Jackson finally said, “Until you learn how to treat your mother with the respect she deserves, we won’t be going riding again.”

  “That’s not fair!”

  Jackson glanced over at Lucas. “No, the way you’ve been treating your mother isn’t fair. She’s done nothing but love you unconditi
onally.”

  “She took my dad from me,” he blurted out, tears filling his eyes.

  “An accident took your father from you,” Jackson corrected, his tone softening.

  “You’re wrong,” the boy said. “She was mad at my dad and they got into a fight. She made him leave the party early. If she hadn’t, he would still be alive.”

  Jackson stopped walking and turned to Lucas in surprise. “Where is this coming from? I know your mother wouldn’t have told you something like that.” Lainie had made it clear that she had done her best to spare her son the details of that fateful night. She’d done everything she could to protect him. To help him heal.

  “She didn’t tell me,” Lucas confirmed. “I heard Lance’s mom say it.”

  Jackson was troubled by that response. “Who is Lance?”

  “My best friend back in Sacramento. We were out in the sunroom and his mom was in the kitchen talking to another lady who was at Lance’s house visiting her. I heard them talking about my mom and dad. Mrs. Winters told the woman my mom and dad had words at his work party, and they left right after that. She said my dad would still be alive if my mom hadn’t made him leave early.” Tears ran in twin rivers down Lucas’s cheeks, tearing at Jackson’s heart.

  Releasing the reins he’d been grasping so tightly in frustration, Jackson pulled the sobbing boy into his comforting embrace. “Lucas.” He sighed, finally understanding the depth of his anger and hurt. His heart went out to Lucas, for the emotional damage that false information had done, and to Lainie for the pain she, too, had suffered because of it.

  “I hate her,” he cried into Jackson’s shirt, his horse’s reins dangling from his clenched hand.

  “Mrs. Winters was wrong,” Jackson told him. “The accident wasn’t your mother’s fault. And shame on her for saying so, even if she didn’t realize you were listening. Gossip is never something to be taken to heart. It can take the truth and twist it, hurting so many innocent people, like you and your mother.”