“There is always time to see your soul filled with light.”
“Then tell me, Lugh, with your vast accumulated wisdom in all the millennia you’ve lived, if I should die on the morrow where will my eternal soul go; will it go to heaven to the beyond to be with my Christian god or, will it go to the realm of the Celtic gods?”
“That is never a certainty, it is not known till the moment the soul leaves the body.”
“But if I should die on the morrow would I be made to live this life again?”
“It is a possibility.”
“Then I shall hope to go to hell, for I am done with this life. I refuse to live it again. I retain many of the memories now… more and more memories come to me. They are unwelcomed, and I will not be forced to live this life again.”
“Are you saying you’ve experienced no joy or pleasure in this life or the others you have lived?”
“I’m saying I have brought more pain and hardship than joy to those who have been ill-fated enough to have been linked to me in these many times I have lived. I will see them suffer no more, not Killian, not Danhoul, not even you, Lugh, and I bear you no great fondness.”
“Have you fallen into the foul entrapment of despair and pitiful self-scorn, Alainn?”
She was filled with annoyance but her voice remained calm. “You will not anger me with the intent of forcing my abilities, they are dead to me, I am done with them and with all forms of magic. Mark my words, it will be so.”
Lugh must have seen he was getting nowhere for he left her to her troubled thoughts and woeful lamenting.
*
Morning came early and the fitful sleep Alainn had eventually found was surely worse than having remained awake throughout the night. The dawn brought Aine to her chamber and when the goddess looked at her, she had visible compunction in her eyes.
“I am truly regretful for all you were made to encounter, my kin, but the deed will be more easily accomplished if you would allow yourself to let go of some of the anger and resentment. It feeds the dark being within you and it will make ending its existence more difficult.”
Alainn stared at the goddess, but did not speak.
“I warned you very long ago you would pay dearly for your jealousy. It has surely come to pass. If you’d not held so much jealousy within your heart, both you and your husband would have fared better when dealing with Ebrill.”
“Stating the obvious is little inducement for having me let go of the anger within me.”
“You hold much contrition and hatred in your heart, my kin. You lay blame for all that happened on the gods, on Danhoul, even your husband.”
“I blame no one but myself and, aye, perhaps the gods for their insufferable tests.”
“So you say as you speak the words, but I sense it in your heart, on some level you desired your guardians to protect you and they failed you. And because I am your kin and protector of women, I would assume you blame me as well?”
Alainn looked at the goddess and there was remorse in Aine’s eyes. “Why would I expect my guardians to protect me when it was me who chose to confront the damnable witch? I know all that transpired is my doing, and it pains me to know Killian has suffered the most because of my choice.” She glanced at Aine. “I suppose I would not have been disappointed if the gods had intervened or assisted me, but if the purpose was to test me and my abilities, I assume that was not allowed. However, I do thank you for defending me to the gods, and it’s sorry I am that you were imprisoned for so doing.”
“You needn’t concern yourself with my plight, Alainn.” The goddess was obviously fonder of Alainn than she cared to admit and more given to experiencing emotions when she was in her presence. “I would suggest you bear measurable misery of your own at this time!” She hastily returned to being unemotional.
Alainn nodded her head at Aine’s words and they remained silent for a time. Aine appeared genuinely startled when Alainn spoke of an unrelated topic and posed an unexpected inquiry.
“Since time is short and we will need to journey to the realm of the gods soon, because this could be my last day, you must tell me the truth for it has been weighing on my mind. What did the eternal witch refer to when she said I spoke the language of the ancient line of witches? I know not what she indicated, but having lived for millennia yourself, sure you must know.”
“Because I have lived for much time does not ensure I know all.” Aine attempted to dissuade Alainn from speaking further on the matter.
“But I sense you know much of Ebrill, for it is said the gods wanted her dead and therefore designed the entire meeting between us. I think if that is true, you most definitely owe me the truth. Why was Ebrill interested in my ability to speak the ancient language for, in truth, I do not know how I know of that language.”
“It is of no relevance to you at this time.”
“Well, clearly it is, else it would not have caught Ebrill’s interest and you would not be opposed to discussing it.”
Aine turned away, but Alainn persisted. “Do I not have the right to know? If this is likely to be my last day on earth, might I not learn more about the damnable creature who inflicted such pain on Killian?”
Aine sighed and turned to her and spoke against her better judgment. “Your mother’s father knew much of magic.”
“I had heard of such, that he was capable of doing magic. Mara told me her father was a McKenna, a sworn enemy of the O’Briens and that he had been wounded and my grandmother, Ainna, your own daughter, magically healed him and they fell in love.”
“I believe some of what you were told to be truth. Perhaps McKenna is the name he gave to my daughter,” Aine said, but did not elaborate further.
“You are saying he spoke falsehoods to her, that he kept his identity from her, to what end? You must speak on this, Aine. Tell me what you know.”
It was obvious Aine did not desire to continue the conversation, but had aptly discerned Alainn would not easily let it rest. “He was of the most ancient line of witches and possessed powerful magic.”
“Of an evil ilk?”
“Like most magical beings he had the ability to lean to either side of his powers, light and dark.”
“You infuriate me with these intangible snippets you offer me. Tell me what you know, Aine. I do believe you owe me that much if I am to die this day.”
“Knowing the truth will offer you no comfort and surely cause further trepidation within your heart, and it is not a certitude your life will be ended this day.” Alainn’s intense gaze, even through her silence, spurred Aine to speak on. “His name was Eamon. He is said to have lived in the past, over ten thousand of your human years back, though it isn’t certain when he came to be.”
“My mother’s father was an immortal ancient being?” Alainn dared to ask.
Aine nodded.
“Is my mother immortal then?” She needed to know.
“No, much as the wizard you recently encountered discovered a means to become immortal, it is said Eamon found a way to become mortal, for he did by all accounts fiercely love my daughter and longed to live out his life with her.”
“But if he was wounded when Ainna found him, sure another immortal being must have inflicted the wounds?”
“That is truth for only another immortal or someone who possessed powerful magic could do such damage to another. He was allegedly wounded by his sister for she leaned toward the dark side and faulted him for desiring to use his magic for benevolent deeds.”
“Were Eamon and his sister truly ancient witches or were they actually gods?” Alainn’s curiosity had been baited and now she needed to know it all.
“No, not of a godly origin, but their mighty potent magic was untainted by time, undiminished by the strife of living for thousands of years.”
“And where is Eamon now?”
“He died some time ago.”
“And his sister, does she still live?”
Aine’s eyes filled with even deeper seriousnes
s and her body tensed.
“She was recently killed at your hands.” The goddess’ words finally resonated within her.
“Ebrill?” Alainn whispered.
Aine nodded and then turned from Alainn’s eyes and her intuitiveness.
“There is far more you conceal from me.”
“Is it not enough for you to contend with to learn you hail from the line of the ancient witches; that you finally disposed of the loathsome creature who was in actuality your own mother’s aunt?”
“What harm could come from me knowing the entire truth; could the whole truth be any more convoluted?”
“Much more than you could know, my kin, the whole truth always is, in the human world and the realm of the gods.”
“Just tell me all of it, Aine, for my resplendent imagination will surely entertain even greater undesirable possibilities.”
“That is unlikely.”
“Aine, you must tell me now,” she begged.
Aine apparently relented and decided Alainn would not rest until she knew the entire truth of it. “Through the many centuries, Eamon lived in various locations in many worlds, a number of realms. He took much favor in your home in the human realm, this Ireland you are so fond of. He once lived as a king in your land hundreds of years ago. Throughout his life, Eamon sired many children, some human, some magical. The two most powerful were twin brothers.”
Aine’s words were beginning to ring of a familiar tale, one Alainn had heard before and knew well.
“The brothers were Ardal and Odhran,” she whispered and finally she slowly sat upon the bed in stunned realization of all this indicated. “I am from the line of Odhran,” she spoke aloud, not in question, but in acknowledgment.
Aine nodded again, and by her doubtful expression, it was clear she wasn’t certain it was wise for Alainn to possess this information.
“It is why I am necessary to locating Odhran, and in Danhoul being capable of locating him as well. But, wait, that would make Danhoul and I cousins?” she whispered again for she felt entirely overwhelmed at all she was learning.
“The child within you is also of Odhran’s bloodline. It is why he has power over him for when the cursed blade blackened the child’s soul Odhran was surely alerted to that.”
It had all been too much for her to comprehend and she was overcome with overwhelming desperation to know she shared a blood connection to the nefarious Odhran.
“Alas, if you have come to take me to the realm of the gods to see if this deed may be accomplished, then perhaps it is best we leave without further delay and be done with this dismal topic.” Alainn suggested when she could endure learning no more.
“You did desire to hear the truth, Alainn, and although I did not believe it was to an advantage for you to know, and against my better judgment, as always you find a way to learn what you desire.”
Even in Alainn’s displeased state of mind, she immediately had a change of heart and felt she must learn the truth in its entirety. “How did Eamon die then and when?”
“I did not think you would let it go without learning all there is to know. Eamon was killed by his own nefarious son, Odhran, in the first great battle of good and evil. Killed by your own mother’s brother.”
“This is incomprehensible, nearly unfathomable, for they would have been conceived many centuries apart.”
“Eamon was adept at travelling through time and took great joy in travelling to different eras. But he finally found contentment and he wanted to live out his life with my daughter in Ireland, and it must have been so for he discovered a way to become mortal, but then regrettably was called back to fight in the first battle. It is common for the ability to travel through time to be passed down to the next generation.”
“But I have not ever sensed my mother to be capable of such feats.”
“Not every child of every line inherits the same traits or the same type of magic. Your maternal side is fairy and ancient witch, your paternal side magical druid, you have much unusual magic within you, and your grandfather who fathered my daughter Ainna was a powerful wizard, so you see, each and every branch of your lineage is of magical decent, all unique, all with an unprecedented combination of magic.”
“And the child within me shall surely inherit it all and has already turned to the dark side. Sure there is no manner to see this rectified without taking my life, so his will be ended as well.”
She was overcome with bleak hopelessness, which in part was surely created by the inherently dark child within her.
“There is no hope in undoing this evil within you, if you hold tight to that defeated inclination.”
“You’re telling me you would hold great optimism and hopefulness if you carried this inside you!” She grabbed the goddesses hand and just as she had done with Tristan O’Malley, she forced her to touch her belly. She pulled it away in disdain and her nostrils flared.
“If I escort you to the realm of the gods and you are taken before the council and the father of the gods, where the gods shall combine their abilities, if they sense you are filled with doubt and hostility, there truly will be no hope.”
“And should I be dancin’ for joy then, Aine? Singing a happy tune as my husband lies just down the corridor wounded and broken perhaps to the depths of his soul, maybe never able to be healed. Should I be frolicking merrily knowing the only man I have ever loved cannot bear to look me in the eyes… maybe whistling gleefully as I gather before the council of the gods to see if they might destroy this inherently evil being within me now known to be a descendant of Odhran, and surely controlled by him.”
“Not a descendant, for Odhran lived long before your mother was conceived. So, like you, the child is of the line of Eamon, but does not necessarily possess Odhran’s evil tendencies because of that connection, for you are not given to evil and even Ardal his own twin brother born of the same mother, does not contain such darkness.” Aine adamantly proclaimed.
“But as we are both well aware, the child has been deeply affected by the cursed blade darkening his soul, sure he is soon to be in allegiance with Odhran, and perhaps there is no hope.”
“I fear I have allowed you to fall upon information I should have kept concealed. In truth, few know of your connection to Odhran or Ardal. Although I did not raise my daughter, Ainna, for as a tweenling, half human, half fairy goddess, I believed it would be better for her to be raised as a human, I still held a powerful connection to her and often heard her thoughts.
It was through her pained thoughts when she was near death, that I came to her and she told me all these truths… that it was Eamon who had fathered her daughter, Mara.”
“My mother told me her mother died believing the man she loved simply disappeared one day and that Ainna died of a broken heart because of it.”
“I do not believe he would have desired to leave her, but would have felt indubitably obligated to fight in the battle for he knew what would have transpired should evil have prevailed.”
“But he would have gone into battle knowing he was no longer immortal, or would he have been immortal again if he went back in time. Apparently not, if he died there.” Alainn attempted to determine the truth of an impossible situation.
“It will only prove to cause further befuddlement my kin, if you attempt to understand all that moving through different times indicates. There are few certainties with magic as you are much aware, and the ability to travel through time presents many quandaries, but now you know why you and Danhoul are so invaluable to the cause of finding Odhran for you are both well capable of travelling through time.”
“I will be capable of doing none of it unless this child is eliminated for he gains much power every day.”
“Think no further on what we have discussed this day. You must keep it to yourself and dwell on it no longer, for I must soon take you to the realm of the gods. Already I find myself in much disfavor with the gods this day. I should not risk any further wrath should they discover I have k
ept this fundamental knowledge concealed for much time.”
Alainn’s entire countenance aptly revealed her hopelessness and trepidation.
“Under no circumstances are you to reveal to the gods the knowledge of your connection to Odhran. Only Lugh and I know of it.”
“But you do believe that connection would enable me to find Odhran.”
“It is true, my kin, but if the gods should decide to take your life this day, then it will be of no benefit.”
“But if they knew of the deep connection between Odhran and the being within me, sure that would influence any decision made today.” Alainn was clearly filled with apprehension and uncertainty.
“Before you stand before the gods in judgment, something must be done to restore your faith and lighten your heart, not to mention unburden your soul for we do not want to go to the gods when you hold no hope, when your heart contains no joy.”
She found herself filled with skepticism and she sat down upon the bed again uncertain what Aine had in mind for the many topics they had spoken on along with the wounds and memories caused by the witch, had left Alainn’s weary body and soul. She could think of nothing Aine might do to fill her with any measure of joy or hope.
*
Alainn was distracted from her woefulness and soon surprised to see the clear vision of four women before her. There was Margaret, her Aunt Siobhan, Morag, and her own mother, Mara.
“You had a vexing childhood in many regards, that is a fair assessment, and yet you had four women who acted as mothers to you in different capacities.”
Alainn stared intently at the image and in seeing Morag after she’d been gone from this world for some time, Alainn reached out as though to hold on to the image. Tears formed in her eyes as she gazed at all four women with love and affection. Soon the vision was gone.
“You’ve have two dear female friends who warm your heart, whom you’ve entrusted with many confidences.” Aine continued, and the cheerful smiling faces of Molly and Mary were soon seen. Alainn gladdened in having them in her life.
“You found your paternal grandfather, and discovered the young man whom you always thought of as a valued friend, was actually your cousin by blood.” Alainn saw her grandfather’s kind face before her, and her cousin Rory’s gentle face and smiling eyes.
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