Ashes of Eden

by Mandi Konesni

  All around him, the demons who had escaped the gate were being drawn back towards it, screaming and fighting every inch of the way. Their clawed hands scraped against the walls and ceilings, gripping onto whatever they could in an attempt to stop the momentum. Nothing worked. With a sound like an explosion, the portal fractured as it collapsed like a black hole, having returned to Hell everything it had spit out.

  The pain of the pressure in his ears and on his back snapped Raziel back to himself. He had a moment to see Baylin in all her splendor, to be proud that she'd understood... in a room of demons, she was the one person he knew to be good, despite her genetics.

  If he had to place the relics in anyone's hands, he knew her presence could never taint them. She would be the only one who could utilize them to close the portal. She'd figured it out.

  Before he could speak, to call for her, he felt a searing heat unlike anything he'd ever felt before. It ripped along his spine, tore through his very being. His scream was soundless, mouth stretched but his vocal cords refused to make a noise as he was swept away in a tempest of nothingness that felt as deep and as merciless as an abyss.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  "Baylin? Wake now, female."

  She stirred, head lifting slowly as she blinked, expression troubled as she glanced around. Realizing she still held the relics clutched to her chest, she made a noise of protest before pushing them away from her and scrambling to her feet.

  As her eyes quickly scanned the room again, he knew she was looking for his brother. She wouldn't find him. He did not want to be the messenger in this occasion. Well, any occasion, but especially this one.

  "You successfully closed the Arch of Souls, Baylin. Not just closed. You've destroyed it. If the demons are looking for a rematch, they're going to have to find a new portal to go through. You should be proud. Few Cambions err on the side of good. Even fewer could do what you've just done."

  Baylin wrapped her arms around herself, teeth chattering slightly as she realized she'd passed out on the cavern floor and must have been there quite awhile. Looking around, she could see the dried bloodstains everywhere, the shattered pieces of black obsidian and marble. There were no bodies, though. No Raziel.

  "Where is he? He's not... he didn't get pulled in?? Please tell me he didn't get pulled in! Just let me know he's okay. That's all I'll ask. I promise. I just need to know I didn't send him down... down there."

  When he'd tossed her the bag containing the relics, Baylin had been confused, until she realized what he wanted. Everything had faded at that moment. The knowledge that he trusted her warmed her, filled her with so much faith in herself that she knew she could do this.

  His belief in her made her believe in herself. She'd never had someone trust her with, quite literally, the fate of the world. The fact that he was an Archangel and she a Cambion made it mean so much more.

  In that moment, she'd known the truth... she loved him. That love suffusing her heart and mind had given her the strength to hold the relics, to tear through the demons and dismantle the portal to Hell itself.

  "He... my brother as you knew him is no longer. I'm sorry. I know you two got close during this. He should not have allowed you to work on this mission with him. The perils were too great. You have done a great service to mankind and angels alike, Baylin St. Claire. It will not be forgotten."

  Her knees failed to support her. She collapsed, the tears starting slowly before sobs made her shake, heaving breaths echoing in the rocky corridor. She never got to tell him she loved him. To see his crooked smile one last time as she did or said something stupid to amuse him.

  Maybe if she'd waited, if he hadn't been in full Leviathan mode when she'd begun reversing the pull of the portal. Maybe there was something she could have done, something she should have done.

  Dragging herself to her feet, she barely noticed that both Gabriel and the relics were gone. Picking up the pack that had belonged to Raziel, she wrapped her arms around it as she apparated, taking herself home. Once safe within her warded walls, she dropped his pack and shrugged hers off her shoulders, leaving them both sitting by the door.

  Without bothering to undress or even take off her shoes, she crawled into bed, drawing the covers over herself. Hot tears soaked her pillow, quickly cooling on the satin fabric. What good was not being forgotten, when you were alone?

  She hated feeling like she was simply going through the motions of life, but the truth was, she was fully on the path of grieving. She thought Raziel would have earned his Grace back after this and returned to Heaven.

  Gabriel had made it sound as if he was gone, though. Since Baylin was the one that swept the demons back through the portal, if Raziel had been taken along with them, it made this her fault. It was a heavy burden of guilt to carry.

  Leave it to her to finally truly fall in love with someone, then lose him in such a horrible and senseless way. She definitely didn't do anything easy. She just hoped that somehow he'd known how she felt, even if she'd never said the words. That for his last moments on earth, he'd known peace. It was the best she could ask for, given the circumstances.

  Each day she got up, went to work. Handled the customers and organized the shop when new stock came in. Once her shift was over she climbed back upstairs, settling in front of the TV to watch a sitcom or two.

  She'd stopped going out at night. There was no one out there she wanted to see. She barely cooked anymore. What was the point of dirtying up pots and pans for one person? Inwardly, she recognized depression and grief, yet she didn't know how to move on. How could she, when she didn't get to say goodbye?

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Raziel woke in a panic, hands clutching at nothing but air. Teeth bared, he scrambled into a corner of the cell, mind still locked in the last few seconds before he'd been taken. He'd been trying to get to Baylin, to fight against the winds that made him stagger and lose his footing.

  The barrier around her wouldn't let him pass, even as he battered against it with his shoulder. Then, everything had gone silent. It was as if he'd been cast into Purgatory, where light and sound didn't reach.

  Bright light had surrounded him then, so brilliant he'd had to shield his eyes. It pierced the darkness, casting aside the gloom as he felt himself being lifted, raised upward like he weighed nothing at all. He didn't remember anything after that, except now, waking in this circular cell. He couldn't see or hear any movement outside, but he could sense a presence lurking just beyond his reach.

  "Release me. Now. Or you will regret it the moment I break free, that I can promise you."

  He heard footsteps a moment before someone began clapping slowly, meant to infuriate. Unable to see which direction the interloper was coming from, Raziel simply stood in the middle of his cell, arms crossed over his chest. His blades had been taken from him, he expected that. Thankfully, Baylin had possession of the artifacts, so those weren't lost.

  "I appreciate the threat, but you lose points for style, Esiasch. Surely you're more creative than that. You were in here for your own good, we needed to keep you locked up until we could remove the tainted blood from your system. A Leviathan cannot gain access to Heaven, you know this."

  Raziel froze. He'd said until they could remove the tainted blood. Did that mean they'd already done so? Was he cured? He glanced down at his hands, like he'd be able to magically see a difference that way, before rushing to the bars.

  "Did it work? Am I cured? Gabriel, you must tell me. Is the Leviathan blood out of my system? Did we stop the Undoing? Did Baylin make it through safe, is she okay? Brother, please answer me. What did you tell her?"

  It took an extraordinarily long time for Gabriel to speak up, which only served to make the knot in his stomach tighten considerably with every moment he delayed. What had gone wrong? Surely something must have, or Gabriel wouldn't be looking so solemn and refusing to answer simple questions.

  "It worked, Raziel. The Leviathan blood has been removed from your system full
y. We utilized blood transfusions from all of us to help quicken the process. Obviously Michael and Uriel weren't especially happy, but duty won out. They still feel once Fallen, always Fallen, as you know."

  "The Undoing was stopped, this time. There is always another demonic uprising, another plan. Another portal discovered. The war between good and evil will never be over, not truly, we learned this well. But this battle was won."

  It didn't escape his notice that Gabriel was skirting around answering any questions about Baylin. He didn't know if that meant she didn't make it and Gabriel was attempting to shield him from it, or that she wanted nothing to do with him after this, and Gabriel was attempting to shield him from that.

  Either way, he needed to know that she was at least alive, even if she didn't want to see him again. He'd known going into this that he was going to lose her eventually, he just assumed it'd be him going back to Heaven, not her being in danger.

  "Gabriel, I appreciate you trying to protect me or whatever you're doing, but I would appreciate it far more if you would answer all of my questions. I realize you are the no-attachment type so my feelings seem strange, but this is important to me. Did Baylin make it? Is she okay? These aren't hard questions."

  Gabriel sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, sending the tousled curls all over before they settled back into place with another swipe of his fingers. Giving Raziel an annoyed look, he tossed the fresh pair of clothes he'd been holding through the bars to his brother.

  "Get dressed. You're covered in blood and reek like sulfur, brimstone, and like you haven't bathed in weeks. Yes, the woman survived. I escorted her home after securing the relics, I felt it's what you'd want me to do. Knowing that your mission was complete, I assured her that the Raziel she knew was no more, so she can begin to heal."

  "You will not go to her, Raziel. As far as she is concerned, you lost your life in the Arch of Souls. She needs to get back to her normal life without a constant companion, as do you. Neither of you can do that if you persist in believing there is a chance that 'love' can work between an Archangel and a Cambion. It can't. Not even Cupid can make this situation work. You know this is the best way."

  He stared, open-mouthed, clutching the bundle of clothes to his chest. While he was relieved Baylin had made it through unscathed, he never thought his brother would let her go on believing he'd died. While pragmatically he understood this was the best option, the best way to cut things off permanently, emotionally, he couldn't bear it.

  Knowing she was alone on earth in her apartment, grieving, when he'd never gotten to say goodbye or tell her how he felt about her... it stung. Badly. Yet he couldn't share that with Gabriel. He'd be ridiculed at best, shunned at worst. Gabriel didn't understand monogamy. Or celibacy, for that matter.

  Hastily dressing, he scowled at his brother as he shoved past him, heading out into the hallway. He didn't get very far before he froze, warily glancing around him. He knew this place. This was where angels who had been summoned were interrogated before judgments were delivered. He was in Heaven. He never thought he'd see his home again, but what should have been a happy moment was darkened by the thought of Baylin.

  Was home truly 'home' without the woman you loved? Did it matter if he was in Heaven again, if he was alone? Sure, his brothers were here. His Father was here. Everything he'd previously known was here. She wasn't, though.

  Walking into the main chamber, he realized he wasn't alone. All of his brothers sat on a raised dais, looking down at him. Swallowing tightly, he stood where he was as Gabriel left his side to join the others, taking the empty chair in the middle.

  Clearly, this wasn't a simple 'complete the mission, earn your wings' type scenario. Did he have to run through a gauntlet first? He could already guarantee Michael and Uriel would vote against him. Raphael and Gabriel might come down on his side. So where would that leave him?

  Eventually, sanity won out. Michael and Uriel, as expected, tried to argue that he'd been corrupted once so he was likely to be drawn into the path of it again. Gabriel stood up for him, reminding them they'd done the research and knew it could have been any of them chosen and attacked, not Raziel.

  If they would want a second chance for themselves if they'd been purposely targeted through no fault of their own, then he deserved the second chance as well.

  In a shocking turn of events, Uriel finally disagreed with Michael. In all disputes, he always took Michael's side. His goal was to one day take his older brother's place as the leader of the Archangels, so he naturally followed and emulated him. To have Uriel switch sides in this was unexpected, but appreciated. Raziel was pardoned.

  He barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief before he was sent to the barracks and ordered to take a shower. He couldn't smell that bad, Gabriel was surely exaggerating. Nevertheless, he dutifully scrubbed himself until his skin was raw and red, attempting to erase the stain of the past few weeks from his flesh as well as his soul. He felt as if he'd never be fully clean.

  The feeling persisted over the next month. He'd settled back into life at home. He'd been given back his Grace and his wings. They'd returned to training, to overseeing the legions of angels they kept a firm hand on.

  When his brothers visited earth, he declined their invitations. Things were still too raw. He knew if he went, he'd seek her out. He'd promised Gabriel he wouldn't go to her, which meant the safest option was to take that choice away from himself. He'd wanted to come home, so home was where he'd stay.

  Except... it wasn't what he remembered. He'd loved the camaraderie of the soldiers, the intensity of training. The way they ribbed and riled each other yet still had each other's backs. Heaven always remained the perfect temperature, light and breezy. The sun was never too bright, the blooms on the flowers never faded. It was perfection, truly. After being in the real world, it all seemed overly engineered now. Fake.

  He missed the noise of earth. The hustle and bustle, the people dashing by, car horns blaring at all hours of the day and night. He missed the blend of smells that layered on top of each other until you couldn't separate where each came from anymore.

  He missed the Scottish moors, with the scent of heather and chill in the air, the humidity of Florida mixed with the salty sea breeze. Everywhere you looked, every location you went, it was different. Here, through the eons, everything remained ever the same. It used to be enough for him.

  Until Baylin.

  Now that he'd seen the world through her eyes, knew the sensation of knowing your heart existed outside of your own chest, home just wasn't the same. It'd always been enough before, as he hadn't known any better.

  His excursions on earth had been lonely walks in the moonlight and raucous tavern visits with his brothers. He hadn't truly immersed himself into the world. He hadn't lived. He'd worked so hard to get back here, only to realize... home was wherever she was.

  The realization was like a punch to the gut. He'd made a terrible mistake. For the first time in his long life, he wasn't sure if this could be fixed, if he could ever make amends. He damn well intended to try, though. He was going home.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  He expected a fight. An argument. A list of cons to convince him why this was the worst idea he'd ever had. Instead, when he'd gone to Gabriel and Raphael, they seemed resigned, as if they'd been waiting for it. They'd both noticed him withdrawing more and more, the heartache taking over and keeping him secluded from the rest of the warriors. He missed her. That was all there was to it.

  He knew if he fell, this time it would be for good. He'd be saying goodbye to everything he'd ever known, including his brothers. He'd turn his back on what and who he was, and embrace the world as a mortal. As a man.

  It was terrifying, and yet nothing was as agonizing as imagining continuing on like this. Living a half-life, wondering whether she thought of him, whether she ached for him the way he did for her. There were no guarantees, either.

  He could willingly fall, and she could want not
hing to do with him. It was a risk he was willing to take. If he couldn't plead his case, then he deserved to be stuck on earth alone. He knew how he felt about her. Raziel was sure she'd felt the same, at least before he'd left her. He just had to remind her why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.

  Meeting his brother's eyes, he gave a solemn nod. He understood the ramifications of this. That there was no going back. He knew as well as they did that this was goodbye. Embracing them both, he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. They could sneak down to visit him on holy ground, sure, but he would never be able to come here again.

  Standing back, he braced himself for the searing pain as Raphael pressed a hand against his chest. It didn't come, even as he felt himself falling backwards, wind whistling in his ears as it made his eyes sting in reaction. Stars winked in and out of sight, clouds darted in and out of his vision.