The Stand-In Boyfriend

by Doherty, Emma

  I nod, because honestly what else can I do at this point? My body won’t stop shaking and I’m having no luck stopping the tears. I just need to sit down for a couple of minutes and pull myself together before I have to face the party again.

  Once inside the room, I sink down onto Aaron’s bed and look down at my hands, twisting my fingers together in a desperate attempt to stop them from shaking. I can’t believe how stupid I am. I can’t believe I let Sophie convince me this time might actually be different. I’m in here feeling like my world has ended while Jessie is across the hall having sex with his ex.

  “Are you okay?” Chase asks again.

  I startle slightly at his voice. I wasn’t expecting him to stick around. I wish he’d disappear; I don’t want anyone seeing me like this.

  I force a smile and look up, but it wobbles as fresh tears tumble down my cheeks at the memory of Courtney looking at me. She must have been at the party all along and seen me with Jessie in the kitchen. She clearly took my absence as her opportunity, and Jessie certainly didn’t look like he had any objections.

  “Honestly, I’m fine. Something happened earlier at home and I was just thinking about it,” I lie.

  Chase doesn’t look away from me. “I saw Stephenson go into that bedroom with Courtney,” he tells me.

  And there it is. My humiliation is complete. Chase Mitchell is witnessing my meltdown after watching my best friend hook up with his ex.

  I look away, swiping my hand across my face. God knows what I look like right now. My makeup is probably running everywhere. I let out a sigh and feel my shoulders sag even farther.

  “He doesn’t see you, Livy.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whisper. “I told you, I was just thinking about something that happened earlier.”

  “Liv—”

  “Chase, please,” I plead, another errant tear streaking down my face. “Just leave me alone, okay? I can’t deal with anyone seeing me like this.”

  He doesn’t reply as I squeeze my hands and try to focus on pulling myself together, but after what feels like an eternity, I hear the door open then click shut behind him. I burst into tears all over again because not only is Jessie back with Courtney, now everyone in school will know what a pathetic loser I am.

  I PULL INTO THE SCHOOL parking lot on Monday morning and still feel like utter crap. Jessie texted me a couple of times yesterday to see if I wanted to hang out, but I just couldn’t do it. I replied telling him I was feeling like trash (not a lie) and that I’d see him today. Sophie kept me company all day. She was upbeat, loud, and entertaining the whole time, but I still couldn’t crack a smile. After Chase disappeared on Saturday night, Sophie was by my side within minutes; he clearly went and told her. I tried to keep it together and act like it was no big deal, but she took one look at me and I fell apart all over again. I think maybe, deep down, I did think this would be it with Jessie—thought actually, finally something was about to happen, and seeing Courtney wrapped around him and then them disappearing into that empty bedroom together…well, every time I think about it, I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.

  I pull down the visor and stare at my reflection. I look as bad as I feel. I reach into my bag and grab a hair tie, pulling my hair back off my face into a high ponytail. Some of the back falls down and I don’t bother to fix it—caring about my appearance certainly didn’t do any good on Saturday night. I dig around in my bag for any makeup that might make me look more human, perhaps cover my swollen eyes and give me some color in my cheeks, but the only thing I can find is some concealer. I rub a bit into the skin below my eyes, but it does little to make me look more presentable. I sigh and climb out of my car, pulling out my bag then locking it behind me. I turn to head inside but then come to an abrupt halt.

  Chase Mitchell is leaning against his car, right opposite mine, with his legs and arms crossed in front of him, gaze pinned on me.

  I look behind me uneasily, hoping one of his friends is around and that’s who he’s waiting on, but there’s no one in my general vicinity.

  “Uh, hey.”

  He stands up straight and walks forward until he’s stopped right in front of me. “Hey. How you feeling?”

  Mortification runs through me. I can’t believe the state he saw me in on Saturday. It’s so embarrassing. It’s bad enough Sophie did, but at least she knows me. Chase doesn’t know me at all and witnessed my complete meltdown. He must think I’m crazy.

  “I’m good.” I force myself to answer brightly. “Really good.”

  He rolls his eyes. Clearly he’s not ready to let me act like Saturday night never happened.

  I sigh. His eyes, which for the first time I notice are a bright green, look concerned, and despite me desperately trying to look like I’m fine and not a total wreck today, I find that I can’t focus on his face. My eyes keep darting around behind him. “I’m, uh…” My voice trails off; I have no idea what to say to him that will make this any less awkward.

  “It’s okay to be upset if the guy you like is with someone else,” Chase tells me.

  Oh Jesus.

  “I don’t, I mean…” I stop. What’s the point in denying it? He clearly knows. “How did you know?”

  He shrugs. “I’m pretty observant, and, well…” He doesn’t continue. I guess my meltdown on Saturday night was pretty self-explanatory.

  I sigh. “Yeah, um…I’m pretty embarrassed about how I acted at the party.”

  He nods. “I haven’t told anyone. I won’t tell anyone.”

  My eyes find his. My initial thought on Saturday was that the whole school would know by now, but actually when I was thinking about it yesterday, I realized Chase actually seems like a decent guy, and it would be pretty shitty to broadcast something like that just for gossip’s sake.

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  He shrugs. “No worries.”

  I stand there awkwardly for a couple of seconds, wondering what to say next before realizing the conversation is over. This is Chase Mitchell—we don’t have anything to say to each other.

  “Okay, so…bye,” I mumble before turning in the direction of the school building.

  “Wait.” He reaches out his hand and grips my arm, halting me in place.

  I turn back to him in surprise.

  “I had this idea.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him expectantly as a grin spreads across his face. “Yeah?” I ask after a couple of seconds of him not saying anything.

  “You have to promise to hear me out.”

  “Huh?”

  “Say you won’t just dismiss the idea and will actually think about it.”

  “Um…” This is getting weird. “Okay?”

  He grins wider. “We should totally pretend to date.”

  I let out a snort of surprise and expect him to break out into laughter any second, but he doesn’t. He just stares back at me, cocking his head to the side with that same smirk on his face. I blink. “Sorry, what?”

  “You heard me.”

  “You think we should pretend to date?”

  “Yup.”

  “What? I mean, what are you…are you being—I mean…” I pause, trying to stop my thoughts from tripping over themselves. “I don’t get it.”

  “Think about it: you’re cut up about Stephenson, right?” I feel myself blush but don’t bother denying it. There’s really no point now. “Can’t understand it myself, but to each their own.”

  “Hey, you don’t know—”

  He waves a hand, dismissing me. “Anyway, the dude has a hard-on for me, so it would definitely get his attention if he thought we were dating.”

  My jaw falls open. He’s not wrong, but I still can’t believe he’s openly saying he knows Jessie has some weird man crush on him.

  “And I’m being serious when I say I’m done with Abigail. I have been for ages, and I won’t change my mind. If she thinks I’m with you, she’ll back off and I can concentrate on soccer.”r />
  “You’re not serious?”

  “Hell yes I am. The playoffs are coming up and I don’t need any of her drama distracting me. All we have to do is pretend to date for a couple of months. We’ll make sure Stephenson actually notices you for once, and it’ll get Abigail off my back until she moves on with someone else. It’s a win-win.”

  I just stand there gaping at him.

  “What do you think?”

  It takes me a couple of attempts before I’m able to speak. I’ve never heard anything more ludicrous in my life. “You’re crazy.”

  “It’s a great idea.”

  I shake my head. “You’re insane.”

  “It’s the perfect solution, Chapman.”

  “No one is ever going to believe you and I are dating.”

  “Why not?” he asks, sounding affronted.

  I roll my eyes and shake my head again. Is he being serious? Chase Mitchell dating Livy Chapman? Not in a million years.

  “Come on, Chase.”

  “Give me one good reason,” he demands.

  I sigh, my eyes glancing past him. Sure enough, even me just talking to Chase in the parking lot is garnering attention from those on their way into school. He attracts attention at all times. He’s Mr. Popular, and I’m…me. “We don’t even know each other.”

  “Well, we got along fine when we played soccer together in elementary school.”

  I let out a snort of laughter. “We were ten years old. We haven’t talked since!”

  He shakes his head dismissively. “We have too.”

  “Chase, seriously, this is a ridiculous idea. Nobody is going to believe you’re dating me.”

  “Why not?” he demands again.

  I shake my head. He can’t seriously believe people would actually buy that Chase Mitchell, future soccer superstar and all-around big man on campus would be in a relationship with me. I mean, I’ve never even dated anyone before—like, ever. Sophie tried setting me up a couple of years ago and it was a disaster. I could barely bring myself to be alone with the guy, let alone let him touch me. As far as I’m concerned, if I can’t have Jessie, I’m not interested in anyone else. “Because I’m not your type,” I tell him. “You could get with any girl at this school. No one’s going to believe that, out of everyone, you chose me.”

  “Don’t put yourself down,” he tells me sharply, and for a second I’m frozen by the intense look in his eyes. He’s being deadly serious.

  “All I’m saying is if you want to date someone else in order to get Abigail to leave you alone, you won’t have any problems. I’m pretty sure you can get someone to date you for real.” It’s probably the biggest understatement I’ve ever uttered. Chase will have girls lining up to date him.

  “I don’t want to date someone for real,” he tells me.

  “What?”

  He rolls his eyes like I’m not getting it—and I’m not. “Look, I don’t want to start dating someone new and put tons of effort in. I just want someone who can pretend to be with me and keep Abigail at bay while I focus on soccer. If I stay single, she’ll keep trying, but an actual girlfriend would be too complicated. You and I can just hang out until she gets the message.”

  I screw up my face. He sounds like he’s actually thought about this.

  “And it will get Stephenson to finally notice you. Seriously, Chapman, I’m doing you a favor.”

  I’m speechless—completely speechless. The audacity of this guy is unbelievable.

  “This is mutually beneficial to both of us,” he concludes.

  “Look,” I eventually say after a minute of uncomfortable silence where he’s clearly waiting for me to agree with him. “I have to go. I’m going to be late for homeroom.” I’m not. I still have ten minutes to go before the late bell rings and he definitely knows that, but I need to get away from Chase and this absurd conversation.

  “Think about it,” he calls after me as I turn and start heading into school. “You know it makes sense.”

  “Why were you talking to Chase Mitchell this morning in the parking lot?” I turn at the sound of Sophie’s voice and find her standing just behind my open locker, hands firmly planted on her hips. “And why is there a rumor going around about the two of you?”

  I pale. “What rumor?”

  “That you hooked up on Saturday night at Aaron’s party!”

  I close my eyes in irritation. I don’t know who started the rumor, but I’d bet money Chase hasn’t stopped it. Apparently he doesn’t care if I’m in agreement with his stupid plan or not.

  “Livy!” My attention snaps back to Sophie, who looks like she’s about to explode—from excitement? Anger? I’m not sure what. “I spent all day with you yesterday and you never mentioned this. You just told me you got upset about Jessie. Do not tell me you hooked up with the hottest guy in school and didn’t tell me. I’m your best friend! I should be the first to know this stuff!”

  Despite myself, I start to laugh. She’s so dramatic. “We didn’t hook up. Jesus, come on—you saw the state I was in.”

  “Well where’s it coming from then? I was just in history with him and Susy Robinson straight up asked and he didn’t shut it down. He just smiled all mysteriously.” A smirk curves her lips. “He looked so hot—like, really hot! Really, really hot.”

  I roll my eyes. Not only is she dramatic, she’s repetitive. She tells me on a weekly basis how attractive she thinks Chase is.

  “So, what is going on?” she demands. “What did he say this morning? I didn’t even know you knew each other. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the two of you talk without me there—well, except for Saturday night.”

  “We don’t know each other, at least not well. I just know who he is, along with everyone else. We played soccer together way back when we were kids, but that’s as far as it goes.”

  “Olivia Lorraine Chapman, what is going on?!”

  I sigh and stand up straight. I already know she’s going to completely overreact to this. “He wants us to pretend date. He wants to be my fake boyfriend.”

  Her jaw drops open and her eye widen ridiculously far. I immediately start to laugh. It’s not often you see Sophie Steele speechless. She doesn’t say anything for almost thirty seconds, just stares at me in amazement. Then she jumps into action, slams my locker shut, grabs my bag from where it lies at my feet, and grips my wrists to drag me down the hall a couple of feet until she pulls me into an empty classroom. She steps back around me, closes the door, and then whirls around to face me. “Explain—now!”

  I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me. She’s too funny.

  “Livy!”

  “Okay!” I sigh, thinking back to Saturday night, remembering how humiliating it was when I realized Chase knew I liked Jessie, realized everyone knew I liked Jessie and was just hanging around, waiting for him to notice me. “He knows, okay? He saw me right after I found Jessie hooking up with Courtney at the party and he knows I’m into him. I was an even bigger mess before you came to find me, and he saw me like that.”

  Her face softens and I hate the sympathy I see there. It’s only because she cares and I know that, but it still burns that my best friend feels sorry for me.

  “Chase knew I was gutted. He knew me seeing Jessie with Courtney was breaking my heart.” I glance away, my face flushed with embarrassment. “Does everyone know? Does the whole freaking school know I’m in love with Jessie and he doesn’t even see me as a girl?”

  “Aw, Livs.” I know it’s bad if she’s shortened my name. She only does that when she’s about to get deep.

  “Don’t. Don’t feel sorry for me, please.”

  She nods but still doesn’t answer my question.

  “Does everyone know?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m surprised Chase did. He doesn’t seem to notice anyone but his friends, but if he has, maybe some other people have too?”

  I lower my head in shame, my face burning even brighter. “He said he won’t tell anyone, but still.”<
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  “Liv—”

  “Does Jessie know?” I ask, raising my head to look her straight in the eye. If he knows and just chooses not to say anything, I might start crying right here and now. At least if he doesn’t know, I can live in hope.

  She shakes her head vehemently. “No. He’s never once mentioned you to me like that. I promise you.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “You should tell him. You know I think that.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t, not now. I will at some point, but just not yet.”

  She doesn’t say anything for a minute and I know she doesn’t agree with what I’ve said, but she doesn’t push me on it. “So how does Chase Mitchell come into this?”

  I shrug. “I dunno. I guess he feels sorry for me. He thinks we can do each other a favor.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He’s tired of his drama with Abigail.”

  She snorts. “Who wouldn’t be?”

  I smile at that. Their relationship really is ridiculous. Half the time she acts like she hates him, but she can’t handle him being with someone else. I don’t really remember ever seeing them happy together. “He doesn’t want to get back with her again and he knows she won’t let up on him unless he’s with someone else.”

  “So why does he want to pretend date you? He could have anyone.”

  Ouch—even if I do think the exact same thing. “Jesus, Soph. Thanks!”

  She rolls her eyes. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

  I do. She tells me all the time that I’m beautiful. I think she thinks if she says it often enough, I’ll eventually believe it. “I dunno. I honestly don’t get it. He said something about wanting to focus on soccer and having no time for dating right now.”

  She looks as confused as I did. Dating has never seemed to be an issue for him before. In fact, him dating around seems to be what causes all his issues with Abigail. “Really?”

  I shrug. “That’s what he said. He wants to focus on soccer and if he’s with someone then Abigail will back off. I guess if he’s pretending to be with me, he doesn’t have to put in any effort with someone he might actually like. He made it sound like an agreement.”