Having Hope (Ashland Pride Book 11)

by R. E. Butler

  “Oh,” Hope said. “I understand. But your safety and the safety of your future kids is of the utmost importance. If this spell means you’re safe, then you should do it. Your parents’ memory isn’t in the house; it’s in your heart.”

  Treasure looked at her mates, and they both smiled. “See?” Brian said. “Hope just said nearly exactly what I said to you, and that makes it doubly true. You hold their memories inside you – not in that house, and not in that realm.”

  “I know it’s the right thing to do,” Treasure said. “And I’m going to do it, obviously. It’s not just my safety at stake, it’s everyone around us, too. But I’m still just a little sad about it.”

  “You’re such an amazing female,” Hope said. “I’m so glad my future babies are going to have a kickass aunt like you.”

  Treasure’s slightly sad smile morphed into a full, genuine one. “Me too.”

  The two best friends embraced tightly, Hope’s mountain lion offering a purr of comfort that was answered with a trill from Treasure’s dragon.

  “I feel like some cake,” Treasure said.

  “Lead the way,” Hope said.

  Hope and her mates followed Treasure and hers to the cake table, where Hope took dozens of pictures and videos of the cake cutting. The beautiful night had been marred slightly by the appearance of the dragon, but when Hope and the pride said goodbye to Treasure, Brian, and Kevin as they headed off to their honeymoon, she was thankful it had ended on a sweet note.

  “I think the dance floor is calling my name,” Hope said, watching their decorated vehicle disappear into the night.

  “You got it, sweetheart.” Ben took her hand and led her in the first of many dances.

  The night was capped off by Nathan carrying her up to their room in the boarding house and leading the way to pleasure for all four of them. She’d never been touched so sweetly or loved so thoroughly as she was by her mates. It was times like these, when she was basking in their love, that she knew their life together was going to be amazing. She was one lucky female to have three such wonderful males loving her.

  The night of the full moon came swiftly while she was busy planning her own wedding. August, like always, was hot and humid. Hope fanned herself in the backyard of their future home as they waited for Treasure and her mates to join them. Together they would help her cast the spell to call the goddess Hrixalda to their realm and ask her to break the curse.

  Ben turned her to face him, resting a chilled water bottle on her neck. She hissed out a relieved breath at the coldness and smiled at him. “Thanks.”

  “You look like you’re going to melt,” he said with a chuckle.

  “I feel like it. I’m definitely an air conditioning kind of girl.”

  “Our dads used to take us camping in the summer, and we stayed in a rustic cabin – no air conditioning, no electricity. It makes you appreciate modern conveniences.”

  “I’ll bet,” she said. She gave him a peck on the cheek, and finished laying the wood inside the large stone circle where the bonfire would soon blaze.

  Treasure and her mates appeared.

  “Just in time,” Hope said, placing the last two pieces of wood in the circle. She rose to her feet and hugged her bestie.

  “Are you all set?”

  “Yeah.” Hope rolled her shoulders. “This spell is complicated. I hope I do everything right.”

  “You will, babe,” Owen said.

  “I’m glad you’re confident,” Hope said. “I’m nervous.”

  Treasure put her hands on her best friend’s shoulders. “You need to push all the nerves and worry away. You’re super-prepared for this night. You know the spell backward and forward, everyone here is supporting you, and at the end of the day if this doesn’t work, then that’s just how it’s supposed to be. You’re nervous because it’s the only way to break the spell and you’re feeling the weight of all the females on your shoulders, but you need to put that shit away.”

  “This is important, though. It’s so important.”

  “Yeah. But even if you fail, bestie, at least you tried. Don’t worry about the outcome, just know that you’re doing the best you can and that’s going to be enough. You’re enough.”

  Hope’s eyes stung with tears, and she sniffled. “Ah, you’re going to make me cry.”

  They hugged again, and then she heard a beeping noise.

  Ben looked at his phone. “Two minutes, beautiful.”

  Nodding, Hope knelt in front of the stone circle and moved the bowl of ingredients in front of her. Lifting a purple candle and match, she waited for the time to be right to cast the spell. Timing, it seemed, was very important in spellcasting. Since she wasn’t magical like Treasure, she relied on her bestie’s knowledge to make sure this went off without a hitch. So much was riding on the spell going right, to call the goddess into their realm so Hope could ask her to take away the curse. The females didn’t even know about the curse, couldn’t even comprehend that the way they behaved wasn’t normal. She’d grown up knowing that the females weren’t loving, and finding out that it was because of the goddess’s curse had been hard to understand. But when she met her mother and saw the change in her, she knew that everything the Ashland Pride believed about their kind was true.

  Her mates settled behind her, close but not touching.

  “Now,” Ben said.

  Hope lit the match and touched the flame to the candle. When it caught, she started the spell.

  “I call the goddess Hrixalda to this realm. I am Hope, one of your creations.” Tipping the candle on its side, she counted ten drops of purple wax into the bowl and then used the candle to light the kindling. She chanted the spell again in a louder voice. After repeating it a third time, she tossed the contents of the bowl into the fire. The flames blazed to life, growing so bright that Hope had to shield her eyes. A mixture of blues and purples, they were beautiful as they roared toward the night sky.

  Hope put the bowl on the ground and rose to her feet. “I call for your presence, Hrixalda. I call for you now!”

  Nothing happened.

  The fire continued to burn, the crackling of wood the only sound. Even the insects and birds had gone quiet as she performed the spell, which made for an eerie backdrop. Hope looked around, wondering if the goddess had shown up but was hiding. She sensed nothing. Treasure rose to her feet, her delicate fae wings spreading from her back.

  “I don’t understand,” Hope said.

  “Can you do the spell again?” Nathan asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.

  She shook her head. “No. I don’t have the ingredients ready for another casting. Treasure?”

  Treasure turned slowly to face her, and Hope didn’t even need her to speak to know that things weren’t looking good. “I’m sorry, Hope.”

  Hope shook her head. “No, Treasure, please. What happened?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “It didn’t work. I’m so sorry.”

  Treasure enveloped Hope in a hug. She couldn’t move for a long moment, the weight of her friend’s words banging around in her skull. As the truth reared its ugly head, Hope crumpled in Treasure’s arms and began to sob.

  “It should have worked,” Treasure whispered. “It didn’t, and that means it wasn’t meant to be.”

  Hope took in a great, gasping breath and lifted her tear-stained face to the sky. Her cat let out a mournful sound, lamenting the fate of their people.

  “I’m sorry,” Treasure said, giving her a final squeeze before stepping away so Hope’s mates could surround her.

  “It’s not your fault,” Owen said to Treasure. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did Hope. You said it before; it just wasn’t meant to be.”

  “I don’t understand,” Hope said. “I was sure it would work.”

  “Me too,” Treasure said.

  Hope rubbed the tears from her cheeks. “I could try again next full moon.”

  “Babe,” Nathan said.

  “It can’t
hurt, right? I mean, what if she was busy and didn’t hear me?” She wanted to believe that was the case, and not that it was all over.

  “It doesn’t work like that,” Treasure said. “If the spell was meant to work, it would have. Do you want us to stay for a while?”

  Hope shook her head. “I don’t want you to see me have a full-on breakdown.”

  “Okay.” Treasure hugged Hope tightly and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing; you’re not the one who cursed a whole group of shifters for no damn good reason and then left them floundering forever.”

  “I’m still disappointed.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’ll be okay?”

  Hope straightened her shoulders. “I will be. We’re getting officially mated in a few days. I can put this behind me and move on. I don’t really have a choice.”

  The trio left, and Hope stood with her mates and stared at the fire. The spectacular blues and purples faded to yellows and oranges, as if someone had let all the magic out and things were returning to normal. That was kind of how Hope felt. She’d been banking on the spell working, practically demanding that it would, so that she could break the curse and fix the rift between the mountain lion males and females. Without the goddess, the spell was never going to be broken, and the only way females would be freed from the curse was if they shared blood with their truemates, which seemed to happen very infrequently.

  She couldn’t even articulate how disappointed she was, even as she admitted that no one had asked her to take on the responsibility to rid the females of the curse. She’d felt a core-deep need to set them free when no others had. In a way, she’d felt destined to be the one to break the curse for everyone. But as she stared at the dying fire, she knew she’d failed. Whether it was because she wasn’t the right person to call the goddess, or because the goddess wasn’t alive anymore… It didn’t really matter why the attempt had failed, only that it had, and she was heartbroken.

  “I want to go home,” she said. Now that the adrenaline was gone, she was exhausted.

  Ben picked her up and carried her to their truck while Nathan and Owen put out the fire and gathered the spell-casting items. Hope dozed fitfully, waking frequently throughout the night, until she felt like she’d twitch right out of her skin before dawn.

  Leaving her mates still sleeping, she got up, grabbed her robe, and made her way to the kitchen. The light over the sink provided enough illumination for her to pick a pod of coffee and make a cup for herself. After fixing the french vanilla brew the way she liked, she sat at the table facing the sliding doors, watching in silence as the sun finally made its way over the horizon.

  Her mates checked on her at one point, but she didn’t feel like talking.

  “I just need time,” she explained.

  They promised they understood and left her to sit by herself, wondering if anyone would ever break the curse. As the minutes dragged by, she got a text from Treasure explaining she was on the way for a chat, that something important had come to light and she needed to talk in person. Hope refused to let even a hint of optimism enter her mind. Treasure had said it was a bust, that the curse would remain unbroken, so whatever she had to say now surely wouldn’t be good news.

  * * *

  Treasure sat across the table from Hope, making clinking noises as she stirred honey into her tea. She stared at the contents of the colorful mug as if they contained some great truth.

  Hope cleared her throat. “You don’t look like you slept any better than I did.”

  “I didn’t,” Treasure said.

  Hope narrowed her eyes, wondering why her friend seemed so cagey. “You have something to say, so please just say it. I feel like you’re going to drop a bomb on me and it’s making my cat twitchy. I can’t remember the last time we sat down like this and weren’t jabbering a mile a minute.”

  Treasure chuckled, the sound mirthless and forced. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m just such an asshole and a terrible friend, and I don’t really know how to start off what I need to say.”

  Hope put her mug down with a thud, the now-cold brew sloshing against the sides. “Who said you’re a bad friend? You’re my best friend. No one is better, and I’ll punch anyone who says otherwise.”

  “I’m the one saying it, Hope. I messed up with the spell, and I’m afraid you’re going to hate me.”

  Hope grasped Treasure’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll never hate you. You’re the sister of my heart. I might be a bit pissed, okay? But I promise I’ll always love you and forgive you. So just spit it out. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

  Treasure gave Hope’s hand a squeeze back, inhaled deeply, and spoke in a rush. “I had this gnawing feeling that something was wrong with the spell. Not that you did anything wrong, but that I’d somehow messed up. I couldn’t sleep, so I went into the office and translated it again. You used pencil to copy the original spell, and it had smudged. When I translated it originally, I misread the smudged words as ‘to the sky,’ meaning that the spell had to be performed outside. But in reality, the spell read ‘in the Skyye.’ It wasn’t a direction for how to perform the spell, but where.”

  Treasure turned a book around and pushed it across the table to Hope. It was a map. Treasure put her finger on a place that was named Skyye.

  “Damn,” Hope said, sitting back and rubbing her temples as the reality of the situation sank in. “You can’t open a portal or take me there, because you cut yourself off from the realm to protect yourself and your family.”

  “Yes.”

  Hope mulled that over for a few moments, and then looked at her best friend, who appeared to be holding onto her sanity by a thread. There were dark circles under her eyes, which were bright with unshed tears.

  “Did you really think I’d hate you because of this?”

  Treasure shrugged. In the silence that followed, Hope realized that Treasure was fully destroyed by her error, but Hope couldn’t blame her for it. They’d gone out on a limb to break the curse, and even though it had failed because of an oversight in the translation, Hope wasn’t willing to walk away from Treasure’s friendship over it.

  She got up and came around the table, hugging Treasure before sitting in the chair next to her. “I’m disappointed, but I’m not mad.”

  “You’re not?”

  “It would be kind of crazy to be mad at you. You gave me hope that things could be different, but you also said last night that if it didn’t work, it wasn’t meant to be. I think you were being a bit of a prophet.”

  Treasure sniffled. “I thought it would work last night, though.”

  “Me too.” She smiled at her bestie and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

  “I wish I could take back the spell I cast on myself.”

  “I don’t. You needed to do it as soon as possible to make sure you were safe. I’d never trade your safety for anything, even breaking the curse. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be the one to do it. It might be someone else’s destiny. Or maybe someday I’ll meet another fae and he or she will be able to help contact the goddess. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that this doesn’t have to be the end of things. I can still have hope.”

  “You’re pretty smart and sweet. And forgiving,” Treasure said, taking a napkin from the holder on the table and dabbing at her eyes.

  “I’m also totes awesome.”

  “Definitely,” Treasure said. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” Hope sat back and let out a deep sigh. “In a way, I guess I’m glad to know there isn’t anything I can do about contacting the goddess. It’s what kept me up last night – just wondering if the spell would work on the next full moon. Now that I know it’s out of my reach for the foreseeable future, I think I can rest easier. I have too much to stress out about with the ceremony Saturday to let this eat me up.”

  “Good. I didn’t want you to be worrying over something that you couldn’t control
anyway.”

  “Yeah, I’ll just worry about it being too hot on our ceremony day, and my makeup melting off my face like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

  Treasure grinned. “How about when I hold your bouquet, I’ll point a fan at you to keep you cool.”

  “Or maybe I can attach ice packs to myself somehow.”

  “That sounds like you might get frostbite.”

  “As long as I’m not all sweaty and gross when I kiss my mates.”

  “The things we do for love, and good pictures,” Treasure said.

  The stress of the spell-casting failure eased away from Hope as she and Treasure laughed about the issues of wearing makeup in August. It would’ve been easy for Hope to focus on the negatives, but knowing that there was no way she’d be able to do anything about the curse for the time being took away some of the stress. It wouldn’t do her any good to harp on the situation. She couldn’t open a portal into the fae realm by herself, which meant there wasn’t any way for her to contact the goddess. Perhaps someday, someone would break the curse and set the females free. Maybe that person was her, but maybe not, and she was going to make peace with the situation. At any rate, she really had no choice.

  She had a great life. She was days away from officially mating and marrying her mates and starting their new lives together. And in a few weeks, she’d be starting her job as a teacher. There was so much good coming her way, she didn’t want to mar the sweetness of the future with anything that she couldn’t alter herself.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said to Treasure.

  “Me too.”

  Chapter Six

  Nathan wasn’t generally a nervous guy. He was a planner, and liked things very orderly. Despite having no doubt that Hope would marry him and his brothers, and that the ceremony would go off without a hitch, he’d woken up with a bit of worry in the pit of his stomach. He attributed his nerves to the excitement he felt at knowing that Hope was going to be his wife, and that they’d be officially welcomed into the pride as mates.