by Cathryn Fox
I tuck my phone into my back pocket, hop into my car and make my way to Burgers and Brews. A few of the guys are already inside, shooting the shit while they shoot a game of pool.
“Hey, look what the cat dragged in,” Jack says.
“Funny.”
“Gemma let you out, did she?” Colin teases.
“I don’t need to ask permission.”
“No, he doesn’t. He just prefers her company to ours,” Mason says as he throws his arm around my shoulder.
“Can’t blame him for that,” Colin says. “I’m just pissed I didn’t get to call first dibs.”
A jolt of jealousy races through me. “You,” I say and point at Colin. “Keep ten feet away.” Colin is a huge player. A different pair of women’s panties on his floor every morning. At least that’s what I’ve been told.
“Pussy-whipped,” Colin teases.
“One day when you fall for a girl, you’ll see what it’s like.”
The three guys go perfectly still, all eyes trained on me and that’s when I realize what I said. “Yeah, I love her, so fuck off.”
Laughter breaks out around me, and I get numerous pats on the back. “I’m happy for you, buddy,” Mason says. “You deserve someone like Gemma in your life.”
“Yeah, you do,” Colin says. “But Jesus, what did she ever do to end up with the likes of you? She must have pissed someone off in a past lifetime.”
I grab him and put his head in a grip. “Asshole,” I say as I rub my knuckles over his head. The waitress comes and clears her throat. “Oh, hey,” Tara says. “Keep that up and Jesse will toss your ass out of here.”
“Not likely,” Mason says. “Not when he finds out our boy here is in love.”
A wide smile spreads over Tara’s face. She throws her arms around me. “Callan, I’m so happy. I’ve seen you and Gemma together, and you guys are such a good couple.” She glances around. “Is she here?”
“No, she’s not, and guys, I haven’t even told her that I love her yet and I’m not sure how she feels, so keep it quiet.”
They all zip their lips and while I know I can trust them, I’m sure they’re bursting to spread the news.
“Don’t worry. She loves you too,” Tara says.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’m a woman and I know things.” She turns and eyes Colin. “Not a word from the peanut gallery,” she warns. “Can I get you a beer, Callan?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“It’s on the house,” she says and as she walks away, I check my phone again, hoping to hear from Gemma. I frown.
“Pussy-whipped,” Colin teases under his breath and I grab a pool cue.
“Play me. It’s been a while since I beat your sorry ass.”
I spend the next couple of hours hanging with the guys and for the first time in a very long time, I feel like myself again. I’ll always love Zoe. Always. She was my first, my everything, and the mother of our child, and deep in my heart, I know she’d be happy for Gemma and me. She wouldn’t want me alone, just like I wouldn’t want her alone.
“I’m checking out, guys,” I say, after glancing at my phone again.
More pats come on the back. “Good seeing you,” Mason says, and I know exactly what he means. He hasn’t seen the real me in a very long time. I head out, make a quick trip to the grocery store so I can make something special for Gemma, and I pick her up some flowers. But as more and more time passes, worry gnaws at my gut.
I grab my phone and call her, but it goes to voice mail. I’m a worrier by nature, especially after Zoe’s accident, and not hearing from her all day doesn’t sit right. Something must be wrong. I pace around inside my place, going through every worst scenario I can think of. Finally, I look up David and Amanda’s number and call.
“Hello,” Amanda says, and if nothing is wrong, I don’t want to worry her.
“Hey Amanda. Is Gemma still with you?”
A moment of silence and then, “No, ah. She’s not.”
My stomach tightens, and I don’t miss the unease in Amanda’s voice. “She’s not called you?”
“No, why, did she say she was going to?”
“Um, yeah. She ah…she was going to do some things around her place, so maybe that’s all it is.”
“She’s at her place?”
“Last I knew she was.”
I shake my head. What is going on here? Everything in my gut tells me Amanda knows something I don’t. “When was the last time you saw her?”
“About thirty minutes ago.”
I move toward my door. “I’ll head over there.”
“Um, maybe it’s best that you don’t.”
My steps slow. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Maybe she…uh, just needs some time to herself. You know, girl time.”
I don’t believe her for one second. “Yeah, I’m heading over,” I say and end the call. I dart outside, hop into my car, and hurry through traffic. My throat is so fucking tight I can barely swallow, and my heart is crashing against my ribs so hard, I’m sure they’re going to snap.
I finally reach her place, park my car and head to her door. I stand on the stoop and knock. I wait a second and no answer comes, so I look through the window. A car pulls up behind mine and Amanda steps from it, her face a bit pale.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Is she not home?” she asks, and worries her lips.
“Where is she, Amanda?” I ask, my voice darker as dread takes hold. Jesus Christ, I need answers and I need them now.
“I have a key.” She slides it into the door. I push through and hurry around her place, but she’s nowhere to be found. I grip my hair and tug.
“What the fuck?” I say. “Did you guys go shopping?”
“Uh, yeah, sort of,” she says. She walks down the hall, steps into the bedroom and opens the closet.
“What are you doing?”
“Just seeing if her things are here.”
“Why wouldn’t her things be here?” I fight the full-blown panic simmering below the surface.
She takes a few breaths, and it’s not hard to tell she’s keeping something from me. “Let’s go sit down.”
“I don’t want to sit down. I want you to tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t want to be the one to tell you this, and I really don’t know where Gemma is, and I’m a bit scared, because of her mental state right now.”
Every muscle tenses. “Does this have something to do with Brad?”
“Please, let’s just sit,” she says and walks past me. I follow her to the living room and drop into the chair.
“What?”
She takes a big swallow, and says, “She took a pregnancy test today.”
The room closes in on me, sucking the air from my lungs as her words race around my brain. She’s on the pill, and we used a condom. Albeit that condom was outdated, and then we stopped using them because she’s was on the pill. “Is she pregnant?” I ask, remembering how sick she yesterday morning.
“Don’t be mad, Callan,” she says and leans forward. “She didn’t do it on purpose. She wouldn’t do that to you. She was afraid to tell you.”
“Why would I think she did it on purpose? Wait, did she say that?” Shit, does she think so little of me. Yeah, sure I said numerous times I wasn’t interested in a family or more kids, but come on. Doesn’t she know me better than that? But that’s not my main focus right now. “Is she pregnant?”
“She’s pregnant, Callan, but she wouldn’t have run away. I know my sister.”
The world closes in on me. My God, I’m going to be a father again, and while I want to take joy in that, at the moment I can’t. “Where is she, then?”
“I don’t know. She told me she was going to talk to you. None of this makes sense, actually.”
I jump to my feet. “She’s in trouble.”
“Oh, God, she must be.” Amanda stands on shaky legs, her eyes big and worried.
O
ld worries and fears come racing back in a burst. Something is wrong. Every instinct I possess tells me it is. “I can’t lose her,” I say around the huge lump in my throat. “I can’t lose her and our baby.”
“You won’t,” Amanda says and puts her arm on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze that does little to reassure me.
Fear grips my gut, and I nearly vomit. “It can’t happen again. We have to find her. Now.”
Amanda nods. “I have an idea.”
17
Gemma
My entire body is shaking as I give my sister a kiss goodbye and shut the door to my townhouse behind her. I drop to the floor and bury my face in my hands. How could this have happened? I never thought forgetting my pill for one night could lead to pregnancy. I put my hand on my stomach. What am I going to do? What would Callan want me to do? He’s not the kind of guy to suggest I abort, and the truth is, I don’t want one. We made a beautiful baby, and there is a part of me holding out hope that he might want this as much as I do, despite telling me numerous times that he’s not interested in a family.
I stare at my phone, and see that he’s messaged me. I run my finger over the screen, and consider how the conversation might go down. Amanda was right when she told me the longer I put it off, the harder it will be. I’m just going to have to put on my big girl panties and tell him he’s going to be a father again, and hope he wants the mother who’s giving birth to his baby.
I take a deep breath, ready to call, when my front door opens. I look up, expecting to see Amanda. Did she forget something? But when my eyes land on Brad, I jump to my feet.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as he closes the door behind him.
“Now that you’re back home, does that mean lover boy finally put you out?”
“Brad, what is going—”
“What’s going on is we’re going to figure out our future.”
He steps up to me and his grip on my arm is tight, forceful. I try to tug away, but can’t. I take a fast breath and calm myself, as I think about the best way to handle this situation. Getting myself worked up and angering him, has never worked in my favor before.
“You want to talk, then talk,” I say.
“Not here.”
“Why not here?” I try to appear casual as I say, “It’s the perfect spot. We won’t get interrupted.”
“I just saw your sister leave. Who knows if she’ll come back and I’d prefer to go somewhere where we won’t be disturbed.”
Okay, this is not good. Not good at all.
I hold my phone, and position it in my hand, wanting to dial 911 without him privy to what I’m doing.
“Do you want to pack a bag?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say. If I can get to my room, I can lock the door and call for help.
“I’ll be right back.” I turn to go to my room, but he’s right on my heels, his breath hot on my neck. “What happened with you and the girl you brought to the weekend gathering?”
“We’re over,” he says. “It’s only ever been you I wanted, Gemma.”
In my room, I open my closet and reach for my duffle bag, stalling for as long as I can. If Callan doesn’t hear from me, maybe he’ll come looking, sooner rather than later, because later might just be too late.
Brad sits on my bed, his eyes trained on me. “I told my parents we were getting back together. They were happy for us, Gemma.”
I just nod. “Do you want to call your parents and tell them the same?”
“I don’t think that’s necessary, do you?” I say. “It’s Sunday, they love to golf. I don’t want to bother their game.”
“Call them,” he says. “Tell them we’re together again.”
“Brad—”
“You don’t want anyone to worry about you. I mean, if your sister calls and you don’t answer, I want her to know you’re with me.”
“Okay,” I say, and lift my phone. My God, I’m clutching it so tightly, my knuckles are white. I pull up their contact and hit call. Brad steps in behind me and puts his arm around my neck in a choke hold. He’s not cutting off my air or anything, but it’s an aggressive move—a warning.
“Darling, how are you? I was just thinking of you,” Mom says when she answers but there is something off in her voice.
“Hey Mom. Sorry to catch you on the golf course.”
“We just finished. We’re actually having a bite to eat in the club house. Misty and John are with us. They told us you and Brad were back together. I was surprised by the news and that you didn’t tell us yourself.”
“Yeah, I guess we’re all surprised,” I say, and Brad tightens his hold. “It happened rather fast.”
“Hey Janice,” Brad says.
“Oh, you’re with him now,” Mom says.
“Yeah, he’s here at my place,” I say, hoping my mother can pick up on my distress and call for help.
“Not for long,” Brad says. “We’re going to go away for a few days and make up for lost time.”
“Where are you going?” Mom asks.
“It’s a surprise,” Brad says before I can answer.
“Okay,” Mom says. “You two have a nice time, and Gemma, call me when you get there.”
“I will,” I say a measure of relief going through me. If she asked me to call, chances are Brad will want me to. He won’t want anyone knowing there could be anything wrong—and there is plenty wrong, that’s for sure.
He removes his arm from around my neck. “She seemed happy by the news.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
He spins me until I’m facing him. “We’re going to be good, Gemma. You wait and see. We’ll have that family you always wanted.”
Oh, my God. I don’t dare tell him I’m pregnant with Callan’s baby.
He keeps a good firm hold of my arm as he takes me to his car and stands by the passenger side until I’m buckled in. As he circles, I think about jumping out and running, but he’s too fast and too strong and will have me in a second flat. Plus, I’m too frightened to do anything that could put the baby in jeopardy. For the time being, the only thing I can do is play along.
“Where are we going?” I ask and take in the street names as he drives.
He smiles at me. “It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t really like surprises,” I say, and take in the clenching of his jaw, the shift in his mood. It’s dark, much like the clouds overhead.
“I didn’t want to have to come and get you this way, Gemma. You left me no choice.”
“Brad,” I say. “I was home. I was going to call you.”
His head jerks my way. “Really?”
“What you said was right. Things were never going to work out between Callan and me. He was just a passing phase, you know.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Gemma. I’ll know it.”
“I’m not,” I say. “You showing up suddenly took me by surprise. I didn’t have all my thoughts sorted out. That’s all.”
“You sorted out now?” he asks.
“I am.”
He takes my hand and squeezes it, a gesture Callan has done a hundred times, but this time my heart is in my throat and it’s all I can do to fight off the panic. I gently tug my hand back, and dig into my purse, hoping to secretly make a call.
“What are you doing?”
“Chapstick,” I say, and pull out the tube. I apply it to my lips and can only hope my sister calls my mother, or Callan gets worried about me.
We drive for what feels like hours, and the sun is low on the horizon when he takes an exit and drives down a long road until numerous cabins on a lake come in to view.
“Where are we?” I ask, and wonder if I’ll even have phone service here.
“A little country getaway,” he says. “The perfect place for us to reconnect.”
Jesus, the man could kill me out here and no one would ever find the body. I grip my seatbelt, not wanting to take it off. He leans over and touches my face. “Relax, baby. We’re going to have
some fun.”
That’s what I’m worried about.
I try not to cringe as he touches me. “Have you been here before?” I ask.
“With the guys. We did some fishing.”
Okay, well at least someone might know where we are. Not that the ‘guys’ will come to my rescue here.
“I don’t really want to go out on a boat,” I say, fear gripping me. He could so easily knock me out and toss me over. Bile punches into my throat, as he exits the car, and as he grabs our bags from the back, I reach for my phone. My hands are shaking so bad, I can barely punch in my code.
I jump when I find him standing beside my window. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to call Mom, remember she asked me to.”
He opens my door, takes my phone from me, and puts it in his pocket. “Why don’t we wait on that. Let’s go inside, have a drink.”
“Okay,” I say and step from the car. My shaky legs will barely carry me to the door, and I check for lights on in the other cabins. I spot one three doors down that looks like it could be occupied. If I can make it there…
As though reading my mind, Brad takes hold of my arm and walks me into the cabin. I look around, searching for anything I can use as a weapon if things get ugly, which I’m hoping they don’t, but suspecting they will.
He drops our bags into the bedroom, and comes back into the room as I catalogue it.
“You like it?” he asks.
“Yeah, but I think I should call Mom. I don’t want her to worry.”
“You’re with me, what could she possibly be worried about? They adore me, Gemma. You know that.”
Right now, in this moment, I’m kicking my ass for not letting my parents know what he’s like behind closed doors. Amanda, however, she realized he was controlling, and Callan knows the truth about everything—everything except the baby inside me. My stomach lurches, and I swallow hard.
“Why don’t we run out and get some food,” I suggest. “I’m starving.”
“I thought of that,” he says and goes back outside.
I glance around for a phone, but no such luck, and mine is still in his back pocket. He comes back in with two brown paper bags with food.
