by Cathryn Fox
I think about that for a second. I’ve told Gemma numerous times I didn’t want any more children—heck, Kaitlyn is all I can handle, or at least I thought so. While Gemma is adamant that Kaitlyn will be okay if we maintain the same life, as I look at my daughter, something deep inside me shifts, and all the hollowed-out spots fill with warmth and hope for a future. My God, what is happening to me? My heart beats a little faster as I envision Kaitlyn cooing over a new baby, but the biggest part of that picture is the woman holding the child—Gemma.
Is it possible that I can give Gemma everything she wants? Does she even want everything from me? I’m not sure but what I do know right now is we’re going to have to talk…and soon. But first I have to get my daughter ready, and Gemma and I have a dinner date. Talking will have to wait, but that doesn’t mean I can’t show her how much I care, how well we fit together, in other ways.
15
Gemma
“You look gorgeous,” Callan says when he enters the bedroom and finds me all dressed up and slipping on a pair of my favorite white gold earrings, a graduation present from my parents. I glance at him in the mirror, and take in his dress shirt, tie and pants. I sigh, my body warming at the mere sight of him. How will I ever be with another man, or even find one attractive after spending time with Callan? The simple answer is this. I won’t. Honest to God, who knew I’d fall so hard for him. Then again, how could a girl not? The way he makes me feel about myself, the way he’s looking at me this very second, like I’m the most important woman in the world, well, that can really do a number on a girl’s head—make them think there is more going on when there isn’t.
“You clean up pretty nice yourself,” I say, and he slides his arms around me, pulling my back to his chest. He puts his mouth on my neck and makes a growling sound that vibrates through me and stimulates all my erogenous zones as he kisses me. I’m not one-hundred percent sure what’s going on with him. After exchanging messages with Mason this morning, he seemed upset, maybe even a little spooked, but then his mood shifted, changed…became lighter, like the weight of the world had come off his shoulders. I have no idea what Mason said, but I’m happy to see Callan smiling.
Truthfully, I feel that lightness myself, especially after giving myself a good hard lecture over breakfast this morning. Callan and I don’t want the same things, and we don’t have a future together. I’ve come to accept that fact, and have since decided to enjoy the rest of the summer with him and when it’s over, it’s over. I’m simply going to enjoy it while I can and deal with my feelings when all is said and done. Brad might be a complete jerk, but he was right. Callan will never get over past hurts and move on, and the sooner I accept it, the better it will be for my head and my stupid heart. Who am I kidding? My heart will never heal after Callan.
“Keep that up and we’ll never get out of here,” I say as he slides his hands down my sides and grips my hips. I lean back, pressing against his growing erection, and he moans. The sweet sound vibrates through me, settles deep between my legs.
“We don’t have to go,” he says. “We could stay here instead, and I can ravish you.”
“Yes, we do. I’ve been looking forward to getting out with my sister, and enjoying a nice meal.”
“Yeah, me too actually.” He steps back and I grin as he adjusts his pants.
“We can take care of that little problem later,” I say.
He grins at my use of the word little and checks his watch. “We better get going.”
He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me downstairs. I relax into the passenger seat as he backs out onto the road. I’m glad whatever illness I had this morning is long gone. I really am looking forward to spending time with Amanda, even if she is a troublemaker.
Callan reaches across the seat and takes my hand in his. He gives it a squeeze, the way he’s done so many times before, and it wraps around my heart. My throat tightens, but I smile, not wanting him to know how much I’ve fallen for him. My God, when this started, we were both so sure what we wanted, and what we didn’t. Things have changed drastically for me, but he’s not giving me any indication that they’ve changed for him.
I reach for the radio and turn it up, wanting to drown out the sound of my heart crashing against my ribs. I hum along as he drives and less than fifteen minutes later, we reach the seafood restaurant Amanda picked. Inside, Callan gives his name, but I spot Amanda and David waving us over. I follow the hostess and she seats us across from them.
“Hey guys,” I say, greeting Amanda and David as I set my purse on the back of my chair.
“Wow, you two look great,” Amanda says and I grin at her.
“Thanks. It was nice to get out of sweats for a change.”
Amanda laughs and nudges David. “Hear that?” she teases.
“What’s so funny?”
“I thought you two would still be in the honeymoon stage, not the sweatpants stage. That’s for old married couples like us.”
“Hey, I take offence to that,” David says.
We all laugh at that. “I’m around kids all day too, and we have Kaitlyn at night.”
“Oh right, I forgot my little sister is all domesticated now.” She opens the wine menu, but her gaze is riveted on me. I touch my mouth. Did I smear my lipstick or something? As David and Callan talk about the big fire two weeks ago, I eye my sister.
“Why are you staring at me?”
“I don’t know.” She purses her lips in thought. “There’s something different about you.”
“Different good or different bad?”
“Good. Definitely good.” She reaches across the table and takes my hand. “It’s just so nice to see you happy again.” My thoughts instantly go to Brad and his threat, and my sister is far too good at reading me. “What?”
“I ran into Brad at the fireworks last night,” I say, my voice low.
“More like he stalked her,” Callan pipes in.
Amanda’s eyes go wide. “Are you serious? Why is he still bothering you?”
“Because he’s an asshole,” Callan says and puts a protective arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry, though. I don’t plan to let her out of my sight for a minute.”
“Maybe you should talk to Mom and Dad.” Amanda toys with her napkin and continues with, “Maybe they could talk to his parents or something. He shouldn’t be stalking you, Gemma. I never liked the way he always seemed controlling with you, but that’s a bit scary.”
I hold my hands up, palms out. “I’m not dragging Mom and Dad into my problems, and potentially ruin their relationship with their best friends, and honestly, the last person I want to talk about tonight is Brad.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Amanda says. “Now let me have a look at that wine list.” She winks at us. “Since we beat your sorry asses and the bill is on you two tonight…”
I laugh at that as the server comes over to take our drink orders. Amanda picks a nice bottle of wine for the table and we open our food menus. My stomach takes that moment to growl and I chuckle.
“I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” I say. After pancakes, I lost my appetite again, but it’s back full force now.
“When have you ever missed a meal?” Amanda teases.
“She wasn’t feeling great,” Callan says. “I think it might have been the candy apple followed by the cotton candy.”
“That’ll do it,” David says with a chuckle. “You always were one for sweets, Gemma.”
The waiter returns with bread and with little finesse, I dive in, eating like I’ve been lost in the desert and living off rations.
We fall into easy conversation and soon enough our meals are served. I smile. I love being out with my sister like this. Love spending couples time together. My stomach squeezes tight. Soon enough this is going to come to an end too.
Stop!
I refuse to let those unhappy thoughts infiltrate my brain tonight. I just want to enjoy the time I have left with Callan and not ruin it with thought
s that sadden me. I take a sip of my wine, and for some unknown reason tears prick my eyes. What the hell is wrong with me? I guess I can try to pretend a future without him won’t bother me, but deep inside, I’m an emotional mess.
I twist my napkin between my hands, and try to think happy thoughts when the server returns to clear our plates and take our dessert orders. My sister is watching me carefully when I place my napkin on the table and force a smile
“I have to go to the little girl’s room,” I say.
“I’ll join you,” Amanda says. “I need to freshen up my lipstick.”
Our heels click as we make our way through the restaurant, and once we’re inside the ladies’ room Amanda puts her hands on my shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. “You looked like you were about to cry at least ten times tonight.”
“I don’t know. I’m a bit of an emotional mess,” I say. I take in her big blue eyes and consider telling her that my relationship with Callan is a fake one, even though it feels far too real to me.
“Gemma.”
“Yeah?” I ask when she goes all serious on me.
“When was the last time you had a period?”
I go perfectly still, my mind racing, working to count down the days. “I…my God, I’ve been so busy, I totally lost track. Wait, okay, two weeks ago, I spotted. I didn’t have a full period, but I chalked that up to my crazy busy schedule, and hormones from all the sex I’ve been having.”
“Lucky girl, but do you think…”
“Oh, my God, no!” My words come out in a hushed whisper as I back up until I hit the wall. I lean forward, brace my hands on my knees, and take deep gulping breaths. “I can’t be.”
“Actually, you can be. You’ve been having a lot of sex.”
I shake my head and my hair falls over my face. “We used a condom at first, but then stopped because I’m on the pill. I mean, I might have forgotten a pill or two, but still. I mean both you and Nicole tried for months and months to get pregnant.”
“That doesn’t mean it will be the same for you, and it only takes once, you know?”
“I know,” I shoot back, angrier than I should be. Dammit, what is wrong with me? “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Your hormones are all over the place.” I stand up right and smooth my hair back. With a rejuvenating breath I step to the sink and splash cold water on my face. Once done, I catch Amanda’s eyes in the mirror. “You said you were sick this morning. Do you think it could have been morning sickness?”
“I don’t know,” I say, and put my hand over my stomach. “This can’t be happening.” I turn to face Amanda, my hands behind me, gripping the sink.
“I know this is a shock, Gemma. But you and Callan, you two are so right for each other. Isn’t marriage and children the next step?”
I shake my head hard. “No, it’s not. None of this is what you think.”
She takes a step closer, her voice low when she asks, “What’s going on?”
“Callan and I are good together. You were right when you said that, and your first instincts were right, too. We were pretending. He was helping me send a message to Brad. We exercised relationship rights, thinking it couldn’t hurt anything.”
“Oh no.” She pulls me in for a hug. I lay my head on her shoulder. “You love him, don’t you?”
I nod and sniffle. “We were only going to be together for the summer. I fell in love with him and screwed everything up. And now this…I could be pregnant.”
“You didn’t do it alone. Maybe his feelings for you have changed. I see the way he looks at you, Gemma.”
My heart jumps. “He doesn’t want kids. Even if he wanted me, he made it clear he didn’t want kids. He’s not going to be happy about this. Not one little bit.”
“Okay,” she says in her best calming, big sister voice. “Before you get yourself all worked up, we have to find out if you really are pregnant.”
I swipe at the tears. “I need a test.”
“Yes, you do,” she says and grabs a piece of paper towel to dab the corners of my eyes.
“I’ll pick one up tomorrow,” I say.
“Do you want to continue with tonight? I can say I’m not feeling well, and we can get out of here.”
I give her a fast, grateful hug. I’m so glad she’s here with me tonight. “No, we’ll eat our desserts,” I say. “There’s nothing I can do tonight. This will have to wait until tomorrow.”
“I can come over, be there when you take it.”
I give a fast shake of my head. “No, that will raise suspicions. I’ll go to my townhouse for privacy. I’ll make an excuse. Say I need to pick something up.”
“Tell him we’re going shopping or something.”
“Yeah, that will work,” I say, even though I don’t like to lie, this fib is necessary. If I’m not pregnant, everything will be fine. If I am, I’m going to need my sister by my side to help me figure out what to do next. I take a deep breath to pull myself together. “We should get back out there.”
She nods and I follow her back to our table. I put on a smile, and while David and Callan are in deep conversation, his brow furrows when he looks at me.
When the conversation ends, he leans in. “You feeling okay?”
“Just tired,” I say.
“You’ve been working too hard, taking care of all the kids at the club, and Kaitlyn at nights. Tonight, when we get home, I’m going to take care of you,” he says quietly.
“Okay,” I say, liking the sound of that.
We eat our desserts, sip our coffee, and soon enough the night comes to an end. Callan pays the bill and we all stand to say goodbye. I give Amanda a big hug as the guys shake hands.
“Don’t forget about tomorrow,” she says, and I nearly swallow my damn tongue.
“What’s going on tomorrow?” David asks.
“Gemma and I are going shopping.”
“Glad to hear it,” Callan says. “She needs a break.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I say to her, and fall into step with Callan as he leads me outside to his car. He casts me a quick glance.
“That was fun. We should do that more often,” he says. “I really like Amanda and David.”
“They are fun,” I say, and blink to keep the tears at bay. My God, if I am pregnant, is Callan going to think I did it on purpose? Is he going to hate me? He’s definitely not the kind of guy to shirk his responsibilities, so he’ll take responsibility, but that in no way means I come with the package. I’m so lost in my thoughts and worries, I’m sure he must be picking up on it. I turn to take in the firm lines in his profile, but he too seems to be a little lost in his own thoughts.
We sit in silence until he pulls into his driveway, and he comes around my side when I step from the car. His mouth turns up, his eyes full of playfulness as he tugs me to him.
“As much as I like you in this dress, Gemma. I really, really want you out of it.”
“I want that too,” I say as tears pound against my eyes. I’m a hot mess of emotions and I can’t seem to get control over them. We hurry inside and with Kaitlyn gone for the weekend, Callan releases the zipper on my dress and tugs it down to my feet. He gives a low whistle as I stand before him in nothing but lacy bra and panties.
“God, you are so gorgeous.”
“And you’re overdressed,” I tease, waving a finger up and down his body.
“When you’re right you’re right,” He says and in that manly way of his, he tugs on his tie, and unbuttons his shirt. No matter how many times I’ve seen this man naked, I’m still like a kid in a candy store. He tugs off his pants and scoops me up. His mouth finds mine, and I expect him to lead me to his room but there’s a new kind of hunger in him, an eagerness that leads us to the chair in the living room.
“Bedroom. Too far,” he says, all caveman-like as he sits in the chair and pulls me onto his lap. His hard cock presses against my center, and I squirm, needing him inside me. I’m not sure what tomo
rrow or the future brings, but tonight…tonight he’s mine and this might be the very last time he is, so I’m going to enjoy everything between us.
16
Callan
I roll over in bed, and sit upright when I find the other side empty. I scratch my face, and glance around the room. My vision is blurry, but it’s not much wonder. We were up half the night making love.
Making love?
Hell yeah, that’s what we were doing. No one can kiss and touch me like Gemma did, if she didn’t have deeper feelings. I should have talked to her before we fell asleep. I should have straight out told her what she meant to me, but her lids fell shut and I figured we had today.
But now, as I sit here in bed, trying to get my brain to work, I have the strangest feeling that I might be too late. “Gemma,” I call out, but when my words aren’t met with an answer, I kick the covers off and go for my phone. I’m about to text her when I remember that she was going shopping with her sister. It is late morning, so she probably let me sleep in while she slipped out.
Worry leaves my gut, and a smile I have no control over tugs at my mouth. Tonight, I’m going to tell Gemma how I feel, and pray to fucking God she wants what I want. The thoughts of bringing another child into this world, of making a commitment to Gemma, don’t scare me like they used to.
I take a shower, eat breakfast, and tidy up a bit. I’m spending a few hours in the garage when my phone pings. My heart jumps, and I laugh. Yeah, I’m batshit crazy about the girl, but disappointment sits heavy when I see it’s Mason. I slide my finger across the phone.
“Hey.”
“Jeez, don’t be so happy to hear from me.”
I laugh. “I just thought you were Gemma.”
“Big difference, bro. You free?”
“I am.”
“Good, come on over and shoot some pool with us.”
“Sounds like a great plan. Be there shortly.” I end the call and shoot a text off to Gemma. I wait a few minutes and when no response comes, I chalk it up to her being with her sister, or maybe she misplaced her phone again. She seems to do that a lot.
