Killer Spring

by Kay Bigelow

  Leah returned to the bedroom. When Jardain stepped into the room, she paused as she looked at the bed. “I’ll sleep on your couch.”

  “You’ll sleep in my bed.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Oh, so sure.”

  “Okay.”

  It was obvious that Jardain was nearly asleep on her feet. Leah stepped around her and gently pushed her toward the bed. She couldn’t resist the temptation in front of her and she gently kissed the soft skin of her shoulder.

  “I’ll give you fifty years to stop doing that,” Jardain murmured.

  Once Jardain was safely in bed, Leah wasn’t sure of the protocol for something like this. Should she sleep nude, or in her T-shirt and pajama bottoms? Why do you want to sleep nude tonight under these circumstances? Are you hoping something will happen? I sleep nude most nights. Why should this night be any different? Besides, Jardain is nude. Before she could continue the internal discussion, Leah stepped into her closet and removed her clothes. When she returned to the bedroom, Jardain was already asleep.

  Leah moved onto the bed, being careful not to jiggle it too much because she didn’t want to jostle Jardain awake. She snuggled up to Jardain’s back and felt every inch of where Jardain’s body touched her own. She laid her right hand softly on Jardain’s hip. Jardain reached for her hand and moved it to her left breast. “Hold me,” she murmured and Leah took the breast into her hand and held it.

  Oh, my God. I am in so much trouble. She is everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. I can only hope she wasn’t putting on a show for her grandmother and she really does love me, because I’m head over heels in love with her.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  When Leah awoke the next morning, it was still dark outside and she turned toward Jardain. She was sleeping on her stomach, her head facing Leah. Leah couldn’t resist the temptation to reach out and run her hand gently down Jardain’s bare back.

  When Leah reached the small of her back, Jardain gave an almost silent moan that startled Leah. She jerked her hand away from her back.

  “Please don’t stop,” Jardain whispered.

  Leah was torn between wanting to continue to touch the soft skin of the woman lying next to her, and being sensible and stopping. “Jardain, I…” Leah started to say, but stopped because she wasn’t sure she could explain her conundrum. Her libido won the battle and she put her hand back on Jardain’s back. She moved it slowly downward, admiring the softness of the mocha skin and toned muscles her hand ran over. As she passed her hand over Jardain’s ass, she felt Jardain push against her hand.

  Leah moved down and kissed the soft skin while she moved her hand down the back of Jardain’s thigh. When she began moving her hand upward, she moved it closer to the inner side of Jardain’s thigh. She heard Jardain’s breath catch, and the sound aroused Leah even more than she already was.

  Jardain turned on her side and said, “Come up here.”

  Leah did as she was told. She moved her hand up Jardain’s side and when she reached her breast, she moved her palm lightly over the nipple. She moved her hand to Jardain’s shoulder and gently pushed Jardain on to her back. Leah began kissing her way down her body, as she moved her hand over the soft hair at the apex of Jardain’s legs, she pressed her hand against her and dipped a finger between her labia. Jardain inhaled and then moaned. Her pelvis moved up against Leah’s finger. “Leah,” she whispered.

  Leah moved over Jardain’s leg so she could put a kiss on Jardain’s mons, and when her tongue replaced her finger, Jardain said, “Oh, baby.”

  Leah stopped. Then she began kissing her way up Jardain’s gorgeous body. When she got near her left breast, Leah stopped to run her tongue over the tip of Jardain’s now rigid nipple. Leah did the same to her right breast. She continued her journey up her body, stopping at the vee at the base of her throat. Her body now lay along the full length of Jardain’s. Leah moved a leg to the outside of Jardain’s left leg, who raised her knee.

  “Oh,” she said as Leah began moving up and down on her thigh. Every time she moved down, Leah’s thigh pressed against Jardain’s clit. “You’re so wet,” Jardain said. “I have to touch you.”

  “Soon, baby, soon.”

  Leah, with the weight of her upper body on her arms, leaned down to kiss Jardain’s luscious lips as she wrapped her arms around Leah. When Leah ran her tongue over Jardain’s lips, she thought she felt Jardain’s blood begin to pound through her body. When Leah’s hair fell onto Jardain’s face, Jardain whispered, “You are so hot.” She moved Leah’s hair out of the way. “I want to see you…”

  Leah kissed Jardain again and moved her tongue inside when invited to do so. Both Jardain and Leah were breathing hard. “Put your knee down, baby,” Leah said. Leah began kissing her way down Jardain’s body again. When she was between Jardain’s legs, she put her mouth on her clit. She moved her mouth down so she could insert her tongue inside Jardain’s incredibly wet and warm center. She replaced her tongue with two fingers and began moving them, slowly. She put her mouth on Jardain’s clit and tongued it in rhythm with her fingers. When she began to move her fingers faster in and out, going deeper with each stroke, she sucked Jardain’s clit into her mouth. She began stroking it with her tongue again.

  “More.” Jardain was gasping and moaning.

  Leah added a third finger inside her, and with her free hand reached up to take the nearest nipple between her forefinger and thumb, rolling it. She began pulling gently on the nipple while she rolled it. She wanted Jardain to experience the maximum number of sensations she could provide with Jardain on her back.

  “God, that feels sublime,” Jardain said as she entwined her hands in Leah’s hair.

  Leah pushed deeper inside. She knew Jardain was only moments from coming. Just the thought of Jardain coming made Leah even hotter.

  Jardain grabbed Leah’s wrist and held it still. “Stop, Leah. Please.”

  Stunned, Leah asked, “Why?”

  “Wait a second,” Jardain murmured.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “No. It’s not you. It’s me.”

  “Tell me. Please,” Leah said.

  “You have an incredibly talented tongue and those long fingers of yours are as wonderful as they are dangerous,” Jardain said, ignoring Leah’s request for an explanation.

  What the phuc? She stops me just as she’s about to come and offers nothing more than “It’s not you, it’s me?” Now she wants to pretend nothing untoward happened? What the phuc? What’s next, she runs away like she always does?

  “You touched places that have seldom been touched before. And to be honest, I haven’t let anyone fuck me in years.”

  “Good Lord, why not?”

  “I didn’t want to be vulnerable to anyone, especially to a woman I had no feelings for. Most of the time, I don’t even think they noticed. For the most part, it seemed like they merely wanted to be able to say they’d gone to bed with and been fucked by me.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jardain. But why did you stop me? You were so close.”

  “I don’t know, Leah. I just knew I needed to stop when I realized you were the only one I’ve ever let top me.”

  “Will you ever have an orgasm with me?”

  “I hope so, but I don’t really know.”

  Leah was both shocked and hurt. Jardain was such a wonderful woman. She was kind, gentle, funny, and beautiful. She told me how much she wanted to be with me. Did she really think I’d be okay with her stopping me just as she reached the edge of orgasm?

  “Please don’t be mad at me. It’s just who I am. It’s got nothing to do with you. I just can’t.”

  “Leah?” Rusty’s voice came out of nowhere. “You told me you had a meeting this morning at eight, and Jardain’s mother called to ask when they can expect her at the hospital.”

  “Oh, phuc,” Jardain said. “I have to go, Leah. I’m sorry.”

  “Rusty, tell Stacy I’ll be there in an hour or so,” Leah said.


  “Leah, do you know where my phone is? And my clothes?” Jardain asked, turning toward Leah. When Jardain looked at her, Leah would have sworn she saw desire in her eyes. How can she want me that much, and yet not want to come when I make love to her?

  “I think your phone is on the dresser. I bet Rusty took the liberty of taking your clothes and having them cleaned. She will have rescued other stuff from the pockets of your slacks.”

  Leah asked Rusty to bring Jardain’s clothes to her.

  “I need to shower. I’ll be right back,” Jardain said.

  While Jardain was in the shower, Leah stepped into the closet and drew on her discarded T-shirt and pajama bottoms. She didn’t want to feel vulnerable by being naked around Jardain after being rejected by her.

  Rusty entered the bedroom with Jardain’s suit and blouse as well as a pretty bag that, presumably, held Jardain’s wallet and detritus from her pockets. Leah couldn’t look at Jardain as she returned, nude, from the bathroom, but that only lasted a second before she glanced at Jardain and immediately wanted her again.

  “Rusty, you are a wonder,” Jardain said. “Your turn,” Jardain added to Leah.

  “Thank you, Dr. Bensington. May I help you dress?”

  Jardain raised an eyebrow when she looked at Leah. Leah shrugged her shoulders to say it was entirely up to Jardain. “Thank you, no. I can handle that myself,” Jardain said. “You can, however, do me a favor, though.”

  “What might that be, Dr. Bensington?”

  “Call me Jardain.”

  The thin veneer of Rusty’s formality fell away in a nanosecond. She glanced at Leah, who nodded yes. “Really? That’s so cool. Thank you, Doctor, er, Jardain.”

  “It’ll be our secret, okay?”

  “Oh, you bet,” Rusty said and hurried from the room.

  “You certainly made her day. I’ll ask again, is there anyone you can’t seduce?”

  “As a matter of fact, there is one person,” Jardain said.

  “Who is it?” Leah asked as she sat mesmerized watching Jardain dress

  “You.”

  “Me? Were we both not in the bed ten minutes ago and both naked, both turned on, both about to come? So I’m obviously not entirely immune to your charms, Doctor, especially when you’re nude,” Leah said with a smile as she went to take a shower.

  When Leah emerged from the bathroom, she was wrapped in a towel and toweling her hair dry.

  “If I didn’t have to go back to the hospital, we’d spend the day right here,” Jardain said, patting the bed.

  “Promises, promises,” Leah said, smiling. So she won’t let me make her come, but she will spend the day in bed with me? How does that work for me in any way?

  As Jardain pulled on her slacks, she watched Leah watching her. Leah saw the desire in Jardain’s eyes and wished Jardain didn’t have to return to the hospital.

  “You know, you’re the first woman I’ve started my morning off with in a very long time. And, I must say, it’s disconcerting because I’m suddenly shy,” Jardain said.

  “I won’t look then,” Leah said.

  “Please don’t do that. I quite enjoy you looking at me. I’ll get over my shyness.”

  “I bet you will. Why did you tell Rusty to call you Jardain?”

  “Dr. Bensington sounded too formal considering we were all in your bedroom and I was naked.”

  Leah laughed, and said, “I take your point. Will you eat something before you leave?”

  “Please don’t tell me you’re about to give me the lecture about how breakfast is the most important meal of my day.”

  “No. No lecture. But Rusty makes the best breakfast burritos ever.”

  “What is a breakfast burrito?”

  “Oh my God, I can teach you something,” Leah exclaimed, surprised there was someone who hadn’t had the delight of eating a good breakfast burrito.

  “Sweetie, I’m sure you can teach me a good many things.”

  “You silver-tongued devil you.”

  Jardain didn’t reply. She was very nearly dressed. Leah was disappointed because she liked watching Jardain when she was naked. I would prefer for Jardain to take her time covering up her gorgeous body.

  When Jardain was finished, she said, “I’m ready to go.”

  “Come with me,” Leah said.

  When they reached the kitchen, Rusty was finishing wrapping the second burrito.

  “Please sit at the table. Jardain, do you want coffee?” Rusty asked.

  “Only if you have it made.”

  They sat across the table from one another in the breakfast nook. Rusty served their breakfasts and then left the room.

  “Damnation, these things are good. Can I come over every morning and have her make me one of these?”

  “Or you could stay here and just walk down the stairs to get one.”

  “Be still my beating heart. I hope you’re not teasing me again.”

  “Oh, I hope I’ll be teasing you again, you can be sure of it. But I’m not teasing about wanting you.”

  Wait a second. What the phuc are you doing flirting with her? What’s happened to your resolve?

  “Thank you for coming to me last night. I was so scared she was going to die. She means so much to me, Leah. She’s been a huge part of my life for most of it.”

  Leah reached across the table and took Jardain’s hand. “If I had known your grandmother was ill, I would have followed you to the hospital. I thought it was a crisis at work because you were so calm.”

  “That was my ‘show’ face. Inside, I was freaking out.”

  “If that’s how you handle crisis in your life, you’ll need to tell me about the crisis.”

  “You’re saying you want to be with me during my freak-out times?”

  “I’m saying you have to learn to trust me and to let me in so I can be a part of your life.”

  “You’ll do the same for me?”

  “Yes, of course. Will you ever tell me why you stopped me?”

  “I already did.”

  “You’re a psychiatrist and haven’t delved into the true reasons you stopped me? Really?”

  “I’m sorry to leave, but I really need to be with my grandmother,” Jardain said.

  “I know you do. Stay in touch today. Let me know how she’s doing and how you’re doing, okay?”

  At the front door, Jardain put her arms around Leah and whispered in her ear, “I can’t wait to spend the night with you again. I’ll miss you today. You’ve undone me.”

  Leah wanted to know why Jardain felt undone, but didn’t want to start a conversation that couldn’t be finished when Jardain’s head was already at the hospital with her grandmother.

  “Maybe we can have dinner here tonight. Or, better yet, pick up something and take it to your grandmother’s hospital room and have dinner with her,” Leah said, not understanding why she was trying so hard to pretend like everything was normal and okay.

  “She’d love that. Are you serious about having dinner with her tonight?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I hadn’t been serious.”

  “I’ll talk to her doctors and to her. I’ll let you know if it’s even possible later today. I really love you, Leah.”

  Please don’t let this be a dream. If it is, I don’t want to wake up for ten or twenty years. If Jardain won’t tell me the whys, I’ll have to figure out what to do about Jardain stopping me this morning. Can I live with the fact that she may do that every time we make love? I don’t think so. But I don’t want to lose Jardain either.

  Leah couldn’t remember ever being so confused by a woman in her life. She’d never had a woman stop her from making her come, either. Was it really about her and not about me?

  “Boss?” Rusty’s voice thankfully penetrated the voice in her head before it led Leah down into the abyss of self-doubt.

  “Yes, Rusty?”

  “Cots wants to know if you’re on the way to the office.”

  “Tel
l him I am,” Leah said and realized she was still wrapped in a towel. “I need to get dressed, but call Seraph in twenty minutes to pick me up at the front of the building.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  As she dressed, she found she still couldn’t get her head around Jardain having stopped her just as she was about to have an orgasm. Jardain said it had nothing to do with me, but how could it not? She was aroused, she was so close to coming, and she stopped me. You need to let this go. For the time being, let it be about Jardain. Don’t step into the chasm of regrets and recriminations like you did when Quinn was killed.

  As Leah was finishing dressing, Rusty said, “Boss, Cots called again. I told him you were on your way.” Leah went to her office to get her bag and make sure everything she needed for the day ahead was inside.

  How can she tell me she loves me, but can’t or won’t let me bring her to an orgasm? Maybe I’ll ask Katherine what she thinks is going on. I could do with a quick therapy session. I hope Jardain really does love me, and she’s not in some kind of emotional crisis because of her grandmother. How would I know? How can I figure it out? I guess I’ll have to trust that a renowned psychiatrist knows her own mind and heart. And she’ll have to learn to trust me, too. And to tell me the real reason for what she did.

  Leah knew she needed to let the events of the early morning go. She’d read somewhere there were women who were non-orgasmic for a variety of reasons. Maybe it was because I topped her. Maybe she’s into bondage. “Stop this nonsense. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what’s going on with Jardain. She’ll tell you when she’s able. In the meantime, enjoy your time with her. She’s sexy as hell whether she comes or not. Enjoy that and her hands on you.”

  “Boss? Were you talking to me?” Rusty asked from the doorway.

  “No, Rusty, I was talking to myself.”

  “Good, because I didn’t understand much of what you just said. Do you talk to yourself often?”

  “Only when I’m frustrated and can’t figure something out.”