Demons Shemons

by K. B. Draper

  “I only have a couple of questions,” she stated.

  I didn’t think this was going to fare well for me because she’d placed her pen down on her notes and slid them off to the side.

  “Off the record, I take it?”

  “Off the record,” she confirmed.

  “I’m not going to answer anything about Seattle,” I replied quickly, establishing the boundaries of the “no go” zone.

  “Okay,” Ashlyn agreed.

  “And for every question you ask, I get to ask one in return.”

  Ashlyn leaned forward, pointing a finger to me and then to herself in a back and forth motion. “You do realize that I’m the one conducting the interrogation here, right? I’m the one in charge?”

  “Is that your first question?”

  She rolled her eyes. “No, my first question is …” she paused, making sure I wasn’t going to interrupt, “are you and Danny really Bigfoot hunters?”

  I considered her question for a long moment. I searched her eyes and saw in them more than a cop simply asking questions. She wanted—no needed—the answer, and I couldn’t bring myself to lie to this woman. “More like bounty hunters. We find monsters and send them back to where they belong.” She could take the word “monsters” however she wanted.

  It was Ashlyn this time, searching my eyes. “How’d you know where we’d find the crime scene last night?”

  “I’m an excellent tracker,” I replied. She started to ask a follow-up question, but I held up and then waggled a “nah-uh-uh” finger. “I think it’s my turn to ask a question.”

  “Okay, fine. Ask away,” she said, forcing nonchalance.

  “Would you go out with me?” I paused as I enjoyed the way her pulse kicked up. “I mean, if I wasn’t a suspect in your case and all?” I was smirking, enjoying her reaction to my bold question.

  Though her pulse was giving her away, Ashlyn wasn’t going to knowingly show me what I did to her. Instead, she leaned forward, the model of cool and unfazed. “Yes.” She paused to offer her own wicked smirk. “If you weren’t a suspect and all.”

  “Good to know,” I replied just as coolly.

  Her next question was cut off before it even started, as Danny knocked on the sliding door before he opened it. “Um, Ranger. I think they’re calling you on the radio.”

  Ashlyn shot me a glance. “I’m not done with you.”

  “I’m counting on it,” I answered.

  Ashlyn stood with a roll of her eyes, heading inside to answer her radio.

  I stood as well, moving to stand in the doorway with Danny. “Anything interesting?”

  “Tapped into their database.” He showed me a palmed thumb drive. “Downloaded what I could, but there’s only a few years’ worth. I’m guessing they either changed systems or they’re just really slow with their automation.”

  “It is the government, so …” I patted him on the shoulder as I moved into the room to see what had caused the worried look on my ranger’s face.

  “Roger that. I’ll be in route.” Ashlyn clipped the radio to her belt. “I need to head out. I have a call on the other side of the park.”

  “All okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, just a report of some missing hunters, probably routine. We get several reports a year of groups who like to hunt on the outskirts of the park in hopes of snagging the animals that wander out. After a few too many beers they lose their bearings, wander into the park, get lost, miss dinner, their wives call, and then we spend the next few hours searching for them.”

  I could tell that was true and that she was trying to convince herself it would be the case this time as well, but she still had the events of last night playing through her mind.

  “Need help?” I offered.

  Ashlyn let an amused look play over her face. “I think we’ll be okay. Thank you, though.”

  I didn’t like the thought of Ashlyn out there trampling through the forest with some winged demon. “You’ll be asking for volunteers for search parties, won’t you? We’re volunteering.”

  She eyed me suspiciously. “How about this?” She reached into her breast pocket and pulled out a notebook and pen. “Let me get to the scene, get more information, and if we call for volunteers then I’ll call you.” She handed me the pen and notebook. “Give me your number.”

  I grinned. “Not exactly the circumstances I’d hoped for when you finally asked me that question.” She was grinning too as I jotted down my number. I held onto the notebook when she reached for it, all playfulness gone from my voice. “Promise you’ll call and promise you’ll be careful out there?”

  Ashlyn gave me a long look. “I promise.”

  I released the notebook. “Where’s the scene?” I could tell she was weighing her options again, wondering if telling me the location would be the right or the wrong thing to do. I tried to sway her. “It’s not like it’s the actual crime scene, only the starting point. I just want to know so we have time to Google it. I promise not to show up unless you call.” She remained silent. “Ex-cop, remember. I know how these things go. I promise I won’t do anything to jeopardize you or this case.”

  “Don’t make me regret this,” Ashlyn said.

  I crossed my heart and held up Girl Scout promise fingers. “I won’t.”

  “Highway 50 to County Road 420, quarter mile east. There’s a hunting cabin off on the north side of the road.”

  I nodded. “We’ll be waiting for your call.”

  “Okay. I need to lock up, so …” She looked around, grabbing her car keys and more statement sheets.

  Danny flipped the thumb lock on the back door. “I got this one.”

  “Thanks.” Ashlyn handed me the statement sheets. “I’ll get these from you later. I’m sure you know how these go?

  “Yep.”

  “Thanks again for coming in and cooperating,” Ashlyn said as she locked the front door behind Danny. “I’ll call or text if we’re looking for volunteers.”

  “Be careful, Ranger,” I replied as Danny and I headed for Woody.

  I started Woody and waited for Ashlyn to pull out ahead of us before putting Woody in Reverse. When Ashlyn passed behind us, made the curve at the bottom of the hill, and disappeared out of sight, I put him in “P” again.

  Danny and I both got out, moving quickly to the back of the ranger station. We made quick work of the short climb, both landing on the deck a few seconds later.

  Danny slid open the unlocked back door. “I’ll hit the hard drive again, and you check the files.”

  Three file drawers later, “Incident reports, 1990-2002,” I announced.

  “I have 2002 on,” Danny answered, pulling out the thumb drive from the side of the computer.

  “Copy machine,” I announced, as I started pulling out the files.

  “Scanner, even better,” Danny said as he started hitting buttons on the small screen of the machine.

  I handed Danny the first of the files and we assembly-lined the process of bringing a stack of reports to the machine, scanning them, and refiling them.

  Chapter 4

  Back in Woody, I fired up his engine. “She’s had a good fifteen-minute head start. Directions?”

  “So by you saying ‘we’ll wait for your call,’ you really meant …”

  “Secretly follow behind you. Duh.”

  “Duh,” he repeated as he pulled up directions. He navigated back through town, down a country road that traced the outline of the parkland, and out to the location of the cabin Ashlyn had described. “I think this is good,” Danny said, indicating that I should pull over. He held out his tablet. “We’re here; cabin is there.” He pointed to a small, brown roof peeking through the Google Earth image he’d found of the area. “I’m estimating last night’s scene to be about there.” He indicated a clearing a few miles away.

  “Looks about right. And the truck I found yesterday is …” I studied the map. “Right about here.” Not too far, but still a good distance away from the ca
bin.

  History has told us that demons, although they come over here in an effort to escape from hell, rarely travel that far from the hellgate they popped out of in case they need a quick escape home because, say, ohhh, a demon hunter is on their tail. Sometimes literally, as I almost got dragged into a hellgate because my jacket got caught on a tail barb of a particularly nasty demon that was hell’s much, much more evil version of Barney, complete with an annoyingly stupid laugh.

  “You know, I sure do lose a lot of clothes in this gig. I think we should talk to someone about a clothing allowance.”

  Danny eyed me as if I was drunk and suggested we karaoke Right Said Fred’s “I’m too Sexy.” Again. Been there, sung that. Ruined a shirt that night too, ’cause, duh, I was too sexy for it.

  “Can we fast-forward through the random crazy and focus on the fact that a demon might be munching down on three hunters right now?” Danny asked.

  “Sure, but we’re going to revisit this.”

  Looking at the map I asked, “Truck and the hand? They are what? Two, three miles maybe?”

  “About that, yeah.”

  I drew an imaginary line between the cabin and the location I’d found the truck. “But here to there … That’s a good little jaunt through some pretty rough terrain.”

  “By foot yes, but not if you …” Danny muttered as he flapped a hand in a flying motion.

  “True,” I agreed with a groan.

  “Plus, we don’t know how far they wandered into the forest,” Danny added.

  “Right.” I reached behind Danny’s seat to grab an extra knife I had stashed there. Unfortunately, I didn’t think it was a good idea to carry anything on me that was not easily concealed in case I ran into someone of the human authority variety. Knife secured. “I’ll call you,” I advised and hopped out of Woody. I turned back to Danny before closing the door; he was already flipping up the armrest and sliding over to the driver’s side. “By the way, do we have any idea what I am looking for exactly?”

  Danny pondered for a second. “Umm, I’m guessing evil with wings, probably bigger than a buzzard, and more than likely it’ll have an angry scowl on its face.”

  I winked as I pointed a finger gun at him and fired it. “Right. I have no idea what I’d do without you, Tonto.”

  “Still not funny,” Danny yelled even though I’d already shut the door.

  I looked in both the direction of the cabin and the other scenes. I didn’t know which way I wanted to head first. I could try to get near the cabin and pick up the hunter’s trail or search a wider area for demon scent. The thought of being near Ashlyn, ensuring that she didn’t stumble across the demon, was what had me going in the direction of the cabin. My pocket chimed as I took my first step. I stopped and checked my phone; it was a one-word text from Danny. “Kato.”

  I snorted and typed back, “Dream on, Beppo the Super-Monkey.” I didn’t have to worry about Danny getting the throwback Superman reference, as he and I secretly enjoyed comic books and dropped in stores whenever we got a chance. I laughed out loud this time when Danny replied with “0.o U suck”.

  I crammed the phone back in my pocket and started for the cabin. As on the night before, I set a comfortable pace, and around the half-mile mark I felt Norm make his way to the surface. I didn’t feel a prickle up my spine, his little way of saying something bad is about to throw down in the neighborhood; he just wanted to stretch and enjoy our little run. I randomly searched the sky for something “bigger than a buzzard” just for good measure. I lifted my nose, taking in deep breaths, not knowing if I would catch the scent of a demon from above or not. Nothing.

  I was about a hundred yards away from the cabin when I started to hear the murmur of voices. I couldn’t make out their words just yet, only tones, which told me there were at least two males and one yummy and familiar female on-site. A vehicle was pulling up, as I heard the hum of the engine and crunch of rock under the tires. Probably more law enforcement officers from one agency or another, I surmised, knowing they would likely call out as many law enforcement resources as possible if they were preparing for a search-and-rescue mission.

  The implications of that little possibility started to hit me. How the hell was I going to keep potentially twenty, heck fifty plus, people from searching themselves right into the demon’s hunting ground? Up to this point, I’d just thought about inserting myself into the search efforts so I could be close to Ashlyn, keeping her safe from the bad that happened to be taking up residence in her backyard. But now I had a much bigger problem. I was likely going to have a whole lot of people to keep safe and away from the demon’s doorstep.

  My phone chimed in my pocket. I pulled it out, another text from Danny. “More cops headn ur way.”

  I replied back. “Thx @ cabin.”

  The phone chimed one more time. “B careful.” I smiled as I put it on vibrate, not wanting the chime to give away my presence as I closed in on the cabin.

  Twenty yards out, I could see four officers milling around in the driveway and yard. A quick scan of the area showed that the front door to the cabin was ajar, and I could hear two more male voices inside. Most of the voices I recognized as the same officers from the night before. This was a sparsely populated area, so it was a good possibility they wouldn’t have a very large law enforcement pool to tap into, which with luck meant fewer cops to keep track of and out of the demon’s den.

  My eyes found Ashlyn. She was standing at the front of her truck with two other rangers, each holding down a corner of the large map they had spread out on the hood. They were discussing routes the hunters most likely had taken and how they were going to cover each path. One of the men waved a deputy over and asked him to put a call out for his department’s four-wheelers. They discussed bringing in a civilian search team. Neither of Ashlyn’s companions liked the idea, but they also recognized there were only so many of them and a whole lot of forest.

  It appeared that no one would be entering the woods in the next few minutes so I thought I could complete a perimeter sweep, just to see if I could get a line on which direction the hunters had gone. There were likely several scent trails and directions they traveled, especially if the hunters had been there for several days, but it was worth a try. I stayed out of sight, but close enough that I could still hear the conversations going on around the cabin.

  More officers arrived as I scouted the area. I stopped to listen as they were briefed on the situation and learned that two of the missing men were from a town several hundred miles west. The third guy was from a small town in the opposite direction. According to their wives, they were college frat brothers, who for the last ten years took an annual hunting trip together. Always the first week of deer season. Always five days. They left on Friday evening with their routine: set up and scout the area Saturday, hunt Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Be home Tuesday night. When none of the men showed up last night, the wives called each other, the guy who owned the cabin, and finally local law enforcement. The men should have been familiar with the area, as the guy renting the location said they had been coming to this particular cabin for the last four years. This led me to believe they would have been familiar with the forest, the area, and their hunting grounds, making it unlikely that they would have simply wandered off in the wrong direction.

  The cabin was surrounded by forest on three sides. The fourth was a large open field currently covered in mature wheat. I was halfway around the perimeter and still hadn’t found signs of anyone Little Red Riding Hood-ing it into the woods, no fresh signs anyway.

  A path wound through the trees. I paused on the trail and could hear a small stream in the distance. I guessed the path ultimately led there. It had been used enough over the years to easily identify its lazy course. But there were no signs of anyone using it recently. Downed leaves lay undisturbed. The moist dirt was smooth and free of boot prints. And the air was free of scent from any recent travelers. Although most people would naturally take a path already carve
d out, that wasn’t always the case, at least not for this particular trail anyway, so I moved on.

  I went as far as I could travel without exiting the cover of the trees. There was no evidence that the men had entered the woods in the last few days. I called Danny. He picked up immediately.

  “All okay?” he asked in a rush.

  “Yeah. I just skirted the edge of the woods surrounding the cabin and there are no signs these guys ever set foot into the woods. There’s an open field that butts up to the property; they could’ve gone that direction. It doesn’t seem like the most logical thing, but that’s the only option at this point.”

  Danny thought for a long moment then spoke grimly. “Not the only option.”

  I also paused to think about possible alternatives. I sighed. “Son of a … They never made it to the woods. It snatched them from the cabin.”

  “Odd behavior for a demon. They usually can’t or don’t enter homes, but we may not be talking about a normal demon.”

  “I’m headed back your way,” I said, clicking off the phone and cramming it back into my pocket.

  I was starting to get frustrated that we didn’t know what we were dealing with. Not that we always knew what we were facing when we went after a demon, but still ... There are as many kinds of demons as there are different races of humans, maybe more, and not all of them have shown themselves to our world. Others have racked up some frequent flyer miles and as their reward have earned their very own folktales. Vampires, werewolves, zombies, trolls … all just demons. Only with time and the retelling through the generations have their stories splintered and their tales morphed into false legends with manipulated origins.

  Generally, demons, though they kill humans in different ways, do it for one ultimate reason: power. Apparently to demons, human souls are like a vat of Red Bull with a dump-truck side of crack, laced with Incredible Hulk-level steroids. And if that wasn’t enough of a reason to keep the little fuckers off our plane, here’s the super fun big picture. When we die, our souls get on the proverbial good/bad elevator. The up or down arrow is preselected, and we get a one-way trip to eternity. For either side, good or bad, the soul is like a source of energy for that realm, helping it maintain its existence. So, yeah, the ultimate good versus evil fight … that’s a fight for power, figuratively and literally. Essentially, both sides are fighting to keep the lights on.