Merry's Mission

by Margaret Tanner

  Her brain was starting to function now, and she realized Aggie’s soddy stayed the same temperature all the time, just as Nate had mentioned at Eddie’s place. “Don’t think of him,” she muttered. “It will only upset you.”

  I’ll have to get strong enough to leave here and make it back to Winslow. How she would accomplish this feat she had no idea.

  Aggie helped her lie down. “You be needing to take good care of yourself. Your baby will be strong if you do.”

  “Thank you. Thank you for everything. I owe you such a debt I’ll never be able to repay it.”

  “Nate be good to me.”

  “I’m glad he is, it’s me who owes you now, though.”

  “He be a good man for you. Why you be running away from him?”

  Merry decided it was time to confess all to Aggie. She owed her that much for the care and devotion she had shown.

  The old woman listened without interruption. “He be angry that’s why he said those cruel things,” she finally said. “I think he be sorry for it now. If he didn’t have feelings for you, he wouldn’t be so upset. Did you tell him you be carrying his baby?”

  “No, he didn’t give me a chance.”

  “You be in love with him?”

  “No.”

  Aggie stared unblinkingly into her eyes. So penetrating was her gaze Merry wondered whether she could see inside her head and know what was inside it.

  “All right. Yes, I love him, only he doesn’t love me.”

  “If he didn’t have strong feelings for you why he be so upset when he thought you tricked him?”

  “I was running for my life. It was a terrible thing I did to him, but I was a good wife, gave him everything he asked for. Surely that should have counted for something. If you see him, promise me you won’t tell him about the baby. I don’t want him taking me back because he feels obligated.”

  “Okay, not my place to be telling him. What will you do when you leave here?”

  Was it just an innocent question or was Aggie hinting it was time for her to go once she was well? She couldn’t stay here living off Aggie’s meager rations, and the thought of having a baby out here gave her the shudders. Somehow, she had to get back to Winslow and the people there who would help her. It wasn’t as if she carried the stigma of having a child out of wedlock.

  Her head was throbbing so badly even the meager light coming in through the doorway hurt her eyes now.

  ****

  Nate debated about whether he should take some meat he had salted a few days ago, over to Aggie. A heifer had stumbled into a hole and broken her leg, leaving him no choice but to reluctantly put her down. He wasn’t about to waste good meat, so he had butchered it. He was surprised she hadn’t come over, there again, he was only here at the ranch on Saturday and Sunday, and then he often worked away from the cabin.

  He had only been to her place a couple of times. Although it was hard to find he knew he could. Perhaps the old lady had fallen ill. Lying out there all alone. In all good conscience, even though he was pressed for time, he had to make sure she was all right.

  She was a kind-hearted if strange old woman, who he knew little about. Everyone was entitled to their secrets even ones like Merry had kept. He deeply regretted the way he had carried on. The horrible things he had said drove away the woman he loved. There, he had admitted it. He loved her. Too late for recriminations now, he was resigned to spending the rest of his life alone. If only he knew she had made it safely back home, he wouldn’t be suffering this crippling guilt.

  Poor Walter was playing on his mind also. The man shouldn’t be working amongst all the clay dust. Even if he didn’t have consumption, there was something seriously wrong with his lungs.

  Maybe he could offer him Eddie’s place. It was only a soddy, although much better than where he and his family lived now. At least it didn’t leak when it rained. He could let him, and his family live there in exchange for him doing a few light chores. If Walter could do the milking, attend to the pigs, check the fencing to make sure no wild animal had knocked it down, it would make it easier to cope at the brickworks. He couldn’t continue putting in the long hours for much longer or his own health would break down, too.

  If Walter’s wife had once lived on a ranch, she could maybe do a few chores around the place, too. With a tribe of kids, some of them should be old enough to help. If he supplied them with free food and housing and a few dollars every now and again when he could afford it, they would still be better off than what they were now. At least, they would be healthier.

  It was early afternoon when he saddled up, filled a canvas bag with beef and another one with packets of flour, sugar and salt. As he set off, the sun shone, not a cloud could be seen in the blue sky although summer was nearly done.

  He turned in the saddle and his cabin looked serene and mellow nestled against the backdrop of trees. He loved it and he would never live in town, so he could understand Aggie being content to live like a hermit out here.

  The only difference between them was her being old and him being young and virile. Well, he had certainly been virile around Merry. He could barely keep his hands off her most of the time.

  “Stop punishing yourself,” he muttered. “What’s done is done.”

  After riding for a couple of miles he spied the tell-tale trail of smoke drifting skyward. Aggie’s place wasn’t too far away now. He had to weave in and out of the trees in a couple of places as he feared the horse wouldn’t be able to pass through. One of his legs scraped against the rough bark on a couple of trees. They badly needed thinning out. If a fire took hold out here Aggie would be trapped and burned alive.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The trees parted as suddenly as a door opening, letting Nate ride through easily. No-one was about. He dismounted and dropped the bags of food on the ground. “Aggie!” She was probably fishing in the nearby river or out hunting or even working in her garden. He wouldn’t take any vegetables this time, being on his own he rarely cooked them. Beans were easier and quicker.

  A pot of water sat to one side of the fire, recently boiled by the steam still coming out of it. Better not leave the meat out in the sun. He didn’t know where or how she kept it in good edible condition.

  A large bear fur covering the door to the soddy was held back by a leather thong. Someone was moaning. Poor Aggie must be ill. He stepped closer and froze. Even in the dullness he recognized Merry’s hair. What was she doing here?

  She moaned again, sounding as if she was in agony. He stepped closer and his knees nearly buckled, the breath came out of his mouth in a shocked gasp. Her face was covered in bruises, her eyes closed. She had obviously sustained a savage beating.

  “Merry.” Her eyes slowly opened. “What in the name of hell happened to you?”

  “Those escaped prisoners bashed me.” Her voice was so husky he strained his ear to hear her. “Zeke was one of them.”

  “You’re stepfather? The one you were running from?”

  “Yes, he stole your horse and buckboard.”

  “What are you doing here, Nate?” Aggie’s question had him spinning around.

  “I brought you some meat and flour. I haven’t seen you in a while and thought you might be running low. Oh, here’s some tobacco he pulled a package out of his pocket.

  “You leave that gal alone she’s suffered enough already.”

  “What happened?”

  In a few sentences Aggie told him the story and he felt lower than a snake’s belly. He inwardly cringed on remembering what he had said to Merry. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you.”

  “It doesn’t matter now.”

  She sounded so sad and beaten down he could have wept for what he had done – driven her into the path of a brute who had obviously taken out his hatred with his fists and boots.

  “She be lucky not to die. Without my herbs and poultices she would have. Her ribs be broken for sure. She be black and blue all over where those fiends kicked and punched he
r. She rolled into the river and pretended to be dead. If I hadn’t dragged her out, she be dead for sure. I never seen anyone beaten so bad.”

  “Well, those evil varmints are dead,” Nate said. “Otherwise I’d hunt them down until they were.”

  “You come outside and let the gal rest.”

  “Remember your promise, Aggie.”

  Merry’s voice was so husky and full of pain his eyes moistened and he blinked several times in quick succession.

  “Out. I’ll make you coffee.”

  “I….I….”

  “Out, she be too sick to talk for long. Nearly time for you to have another drink. I’ll bring it in soon,” Aggie said.

  Outside the soddy, Aggie prodded Nate with a forefinger to the chest. “You be a fool, Nate Quinn.”

  “I know. I can’t believe I said all those vicious things. I was so upset at the time. I don’t blame her for hating me.”

  “She don’t hate you, the poor gal loves you.”

  The words shook him. “I didn’t know. I thought she might have some fondness for me, then when she told me what she’d done I thought it had all been an act. Part of the trick she played on me.”

  “How do you feel about her?” The shrewd all-knowing eyes bored into him.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Nate!”

  “Okay, I guess I love her, too.” There, he’d said it. “What do I do now?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I want her back. I want things to be the way they were before I drove her away.”

  She stared at him and he wondered if the old lady was reading his mind. “They can’t be like they were before,” she finally said.

  “Why not? If I promise to make it up to her, be honest and tell her how I feel.”

  “They can’t be the way they were before.”

  His shoulders slumped.

  “They be better if you tell her how you feel and treat her right.”

  He was missing something here, they suddenly seemed to be talking at cross purposes with each other. “What do you mean?”

  “You be a fool, Nate Quinn.”

  “You’ve already told me, and I know I am.”

  “Here.” She shoved a mug of tea into his hand.

  He didn’t really want to taste it because he wasn’t sure what was in it.

  “It be a special herbal tea, won’t do you any harm. Strong medicine.” She filled the pipe, lit it and took a couple of puffs. “I missed this.”

  “I thought you might have filled the pipe with cow dung and smoked it.”

  “I use it in my fire, nearly as good as what we used to get from the buffalo.” She cackled. “Merry be a brave gal.”

  “I know. Do you think I can win her back?”

  She shrugged her thin shoulders. “Depends on how you treat her.”

  “I was a good husband before, I can be a better one now. I couldn’t believe how much I missed her.” He shook his head. “About an hour after she’d gone, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.”

  Aggie puffed at her pipe, lifted it away from her mouth and blew a smoke ring before replacing it.

  “I’d like to take her back to my place.”

  “How? She can’t walk far yet.”

  “I’ll drive the buckboard up as close as I can, then carry her.”

  “Who looks after her when you be at the brick place?”

  He hadn’t thought of that.

  “She be better off here with me – another week until she can get around and do things for herself.”

  “I’m obliged to you, I really am.” He gnawed his lip. “What if I could get a woman to stay with her while I’m away, or you could come over.”

  “I not be leaving my place. She not be well enough to leave yet. She still be in a lot of pain if she moves suddenly. How could she cope in a buckboard going over bumps?”

  “You’re right, I didn’t think it through.”

  “She be safe here. I kept her from dying.”

  “I know, and I’ll always be grateful to you. Do you think she’ll let me see her before I go?”

  “Take this herbal drink into her.”

  He stared at it and grimaced.

  “Don’t try to tip it out. It be a pain killer, strong medicine. Her ribs be broken.”

  He was nearly going to suggest riding for the doctor, but what could he do that Aggie hadn’t already done?

  “Here.” She thrust a tin mug into his hand. “Make sure she drinks all of it. If she be asleep, don’t wake her.”

  Nate stepped back into the soddy. Would Merry forgive him? Would she be the same sweet gal as she had been before, or would there always be resentment? If she would come back to him, he’d take any crumbs of affection she was prepared to give and be thankful for it.

  “Merry. Are you awake?”

  “Yes.” She winced.

  “I’ve got Aggie’s herbal tea for you.”

  “It tastes foul.”

  “I know, if you really don’t want it, I’ll drink the poisonous brew and tell her you drank it.”

  “No, I’ll have it. It’s good for the….”

  “Yeah, the pain. Are you in much pain now?”

  “Yes, nothing like before, though. I thought I would die, only I couldn’t because of…..”

  “Because of what?”

  “Oh, nothing. I don’t know what I’m saying half the time. Can you help me sit up?”

  He went to take her hands.

  “No, don’t pull me up, I couldn’t stand the pain.” Tears glistened on her lashes. “Put your hands at the back of my neck and slowly ease me up. It will hurt but not so bad.”

  As he gently sat her up, the breath caught in his throat. She was naked, at least from the waist up. Her pure white skin, which he had worshipped before, was flawed with bruises, some dark others starting to turn yellow. He had never seen anything so dreadful. One bruise showed the imprint of a boot. He was glad the men were dead, hoped they had suffered and were even now slowly burning in hell.

  He held the mug for her and when her fingers touched his, heat radiated up his arm. Battered and bruised yet she was still beautiful. She took a couple of mouthfuls and by the expression in her eyes detested it.

  “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

  “I must, even if it tastes foul. Aggie’s been so good to me, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay her.”

  “I’ll think of something.”

  “She saved my life. Dragged me out of the water and got me back here and nursed me. For three days she never left my side for more than a couple of minutes at a time. Night and day, she nursed me.” Her voice cracked. “I would have died. I’ll drink some more.”

  “It smells rotten,” he said. “I’d hate to think what’s in it.”

  “She told me it was strong medicine and it is. She’s got Sioux Indian blood, did you know?” She swallowed down the rest of the mixture.

  He shook his head. “This never would have happened if I hadn’t sent you away. I’m sorry, Merry. Is there any chance for us to start over? I love you. I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

  “What did Aggie tell you?”

  “Just about you being beaten by those vicious animals and her bringing you back from the brink of death.”

  “Nothing else?”

  “No, what else is there?”

  “I’m tired, Nate. Can we talk another time?”

  “Yes. Please just tell me. Do you forgive me for how I’ve behaved, then I’ll go and leave you in peace?”

  “I forgive you. Can you help me lie down, the same way as you got me up?” She suddenly cried out.

  “Sorry.” He must have been rougher than before although he hadn’t meant to be. “Do you want me to sit with you for a while?”

  “No, go home, you must be tired.”

  “I am. If I can just stay at the brickworks for a few more months. I’ve been helping another man there.” He told her abo
ut Walter. Her eyes closed, yet he somehow knew she was still awake.

  “The poor man.”

  “He’s really bad, won’t last there much longer even with me doing some of his work. A couple of the other men do a bit for him as well, but it’s hard, heavy work. I was thinking of asking him if he’d move out of that dump of a place where he’s living and move his family into Eddie’s soddy. He could do a few jobs around the ranch to save me, and I could give them food and let them live there for free.”

  “It sounds better than what they’ve got now,” she said.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “Do it, Nate.”

  “All right, I will.”

  Merry had almost been bashed to death yet she could still feel compassion for a family she didn’t even know. Well, he only knew Walter, but one of the other men had met the wife and said she was a decent woman. Eddie’s place was far enough away from the cabin he could keep his privacy and they theirs.

  Outside, Aggie was skinning and gutting a rabbit. “For supper,” she said. “I’ll be feeding Merry the broth.”

  “I’m grateful for what you’re doing for her. She is, too. I’ll pay you back one day. I don’t know when, but I swear I will.”

  “She be a good gal. You take better care of her this time.”

  “I will, if she’ll come back to me.”

  “She’ll come back,” Aggie predicted with a confidence he wasn’t feeling.

  “I better be off. I’ve got a few chores to do before supper.”

  “You be doing too much, Nate Quinn.” She wagged her finger at him.

  “Yeah, I know.” He grimaced. “I only need a few months to get ahead with my bank payments. Next Saturday I’ll come over and see how she is. I’d drop over after work, but I’d never find this place in the dark.”

  Aggie cackled. “That be the way I like it.”

  He was tempted to go in and see Merry before he left then decided against it. She needed to rest. Mounting his horse, he rode away, and the trees soon swallowed up Aggie’s place.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Saturday came around at long last, and what changes a week had wrought. Walter had left the brickworks, and his wife and six children had moved into Eddie’s place. Three sets of twins, all boys, aged twelve, ten and seven years old. Unbelievable. He couldn’t remember all their names, but the flaxen haired boys were able to help with the chores. The soddy was crowded for them, but with Walter’s help he could extend it without much cost. He had plenty of timber lying around.