Beautifully Broken Spirit

by Catherine Cowles

  She grinned up at me as she slipped those never-ending legs beneath the sheets and wiggled down. “My bed’s the best.”

  I was sure it was, but that fact had nothing to do with five hundred pillows and a stack of blankets a foot high. “Get some rest.”

  Jensen’s hand shot out and grasped mine. “Will you stay till I fall asleep?” My brow furrowed. “I get nightmares,” she whispered. “If I know you’re here, I won’t be so scared to fall asleep.”

  In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to resurrect Bryce Elkins so I could be the one to end his life. I schooled my features and squeezed Jensen’s hand. “Close your eyes. I’ll be right here.”

  Jensen’s gaze held mine for a fraction longer, and then she let her eyes close. Slowly, her breathing evened out and deepened. Her hand relaxed in mine. But still, I sat there, as though I could guard against the things in her nightmares.

  I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually, I forced myself to stand. I leaned over Jensen and kissed one temple and then the other before my lips rested on her forehead. I kept them pressed there for longer than I should have, soaking up the feel of her skin. When I released her, I leaned down and whispered in her ear. “You’re safe now. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

  14

  Jensen

  A little drummer boy played a staccato beat in my brain. I cracked open one eyelid and moaned. It was too bright, way too damn bright to do anything that involved eyes being open. I would just have to keep my eyes shut until after sunset.

  A buzzing noise came from the nightstand, and I opened one eye a sliver. Just enough to spot my cell phone and reach for it.

  Mom: I hope you don’t mind but we told Noah we’d take him to brunch and to see a movie today. Is that all right?

  There was a God in Heaven. I loved my little boy, but if there was one thing I couldn’t handle with the hangover from hell, it was Noah and his buckets full of energy.

  Me: That’s great. Thanks so much. Give him a hug for me.

  Mom: Will do. Hope you had fun last night.

  Last night… I bolted straight up in bed as a slew of memories slammed into me. Dancing with the girls. Tequila shots. A handsy dance partner. Tuck. Me telling Tuck I probably didn’t remember how to have sex. Almost barfing all over Tuck. Doing some sort of awkward strip down in front of Tuck.

  My face flamed. I was going to die one thousand deaths from embarrassment. I covered my face with my hands and groaned. Why had I drunk that much? I knew I didn’t have a high tolerance anymore.

  I let my hands drop and looked around the room as if Tuck himself might jump out and start laughing in my face. On my bedside table sat a large glass of water, a ginger ale, a banana, a sleeve of crackers, and a couple of Tylenol. There was a note beside them in Tuck’s rough scrawl. This should help. It was the exact combination of things I’d eaten when I had horrible morning sickness during my first trimester. And Tuck had remembered.

  Warmth filled my belly. Then I remembered peeling off my shirt in front of him. I groaned, shoving my head back against my pillows. “Kill me now.”

  After inhaling some of the crackers and ginger ale and soaking under a steaming-hot shower, the majority of my hangover had abated. Now, I sat at my kitchen table, staring at my cell phone. Waiting would only make things worse.

  I tapped Tuck’s contact on the screen and blinked. I was a big girl. I could own up to my idiocy and apologize.

  “How ya feelin’, Little J?” Tuck didn’t sound angry. He didn’t even seem annoyed.

  I twisted the cloth napkin on the table. “Better than I have a right to.”

  He chuckled. “Glad to hear it.”

  I cleared my throat. “Listen, I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And, um, apologize for the puke and the stripping and, uh, the—”

  Tuck let out a bark of laughter. “No apology needed. You gave me a hell of an interesting night.”

  My face heated. “I’m sure it wasn’t at the top of your list of dream nights, so, I’m sorry.”

  “J, you don’t have to apologize. Hanging with you is always a good time. Even if you are puking up your guts.”

  My fingers toying with the napkin stilled. “Well, I’m glad you aren’t plotting your revenge.” I paused for a moment, remembering the last time I’d gotten sick on Tuck’s watch. I had been in high school, and he and Walker had been home on break from college. I’d taken one too many shots of Fireball at a field party. I puked in the back of Tuck’s truck. He and Walker had repaid me by placing twenty cinnamon air fresheners in my bedroom. To this day, the scent made me nauseous.

  I grinned down at the table. “What are you up to today?”

  “Not much. I was just going to watch a little basketball. You?”

  I traced the design on the napkin’s fabric. “Well, my parents took Noah for the day. Would you maybe want to go out to Pine Meadow, visit the horses before we’re snowed out for the season?” During the worst of the winter months, there was enough snow up there that visiting the horses became nearly impossible.

  “They’re calling for our first snow today.” Tuck paused. “But I think we should be able to get there and back before things get too bad. Sure. I’ll pick you up in thirty?”

  I pushed up from my chair. “That’s perfect.”

  “Make sure you dress warm.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not seven. I know how to dress for cold weather.”

  “Yeah, yeah. See you in a few.”

  I hit end on the call and jogged up the stairs to layer up. After I grabbed my coat, hat, and gloves, I went outside to wait for Tuck. He was right, it smelled like snow. But the scent and the cold air were precisely what the doctor ordered, chasing away the last remnants of my hangover.

  I stood as I saw Tuck’s truck round the bend in the gravel road. Before he even had a chance to turn off the engine, I was pulling open the passenger-side door and hoisting myself up.

  He scowled in my direction. “I would’ve gotten your door.”

  I grinned. Nothing pissed off guys like my brother and Tuck more than stealing their chance to be chivalrous. “I’ve got working limbs, I can open a door. I can even get in a vehicle all by myself.”

  Tuck turned his annoyed stare to the road as he reversed. “That’s not the point.”

  I couldn’t hold in my laugh. “You and Walker are too easy to annoy.”

  Tuck shook his head. “You always were an expert at it.”

  I settled back into my seat. “There are few things in life that give me greater pleasure.”

  “Brat.”

  “Behemoth.”

  I tapped my fingers against my denim-clad thighs. “So, did you go back to the bar after you put me to bed?”

  Tuck glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “No. Why?”

  I gave a one-shouldered shrug. “My evening is a little hazy, but I’m pretty sure I remember Lucy Bigsby giving you some pretty strong signals.”

  Tuck grinned. “Can’t blame a girl for trying. But, nope. I went home alone.”

  I made a humming noise. “Not interested?”

  Tuck headed out of town towards the old highway that led up the mountain road to Pine Meadow. “I guess she’s just not my type.”

  I snorted. “You don’t have a type.”

  Tuck’s scowl returned. “How would you know?”

  “Because I’ve seen you pick up your share of women. And I’ve heard half the women over the age of twenty-one and under the age of fifty in this town talk about their encounters with you in far too much detail.”

  Tuck shifted in his seat. “So, my tastes are varied. I’m a lover of women in all shapes and sizes. That’s not a crime.”

  It was true. I’d seen Tuck with long and lean, short and curvy, plump and petite. He didn’t seem to see color or creed. He just saw female. “I actually think that’s nice. But it also means you don’t have a type.”

  Tuck’s grip on the wheel tightened. “
Maybe that’s changing.” His gaze flicked to me for the briefest of moments. “I’ve had a pretty specific type on my mind lately,” he muttered under his breath.

  I glanced at Tuck out of the corner of my eye, something flickering in my chest. Hope, maybe? I needed to shove that down. Tuck was not for me. No one was.

  By the time Tuck and I reached the meadow, fat flakes of snow were falling in earnest. He glanced up at the sky. “I think we should head back to the truck.”

  I looked from him to the meadow and then back again. “I just want to get one quick peek. To make sure they’re okay.”

  “Fifteen minutes. If we don’t find them by then, we’re heading back.”

  “Deal.”

  Of course, fifteen minutes turned into thirty, and by then, our boots were cutting through at least an inch of snow.

  Tuck caught my elbow. “We have to turn back. If we don’t, we’ll never make it home, and I have zero desire to freeze to death in my truck on the side of the road.”

  I studied the quickly accumulating snow. “You’re right. Can we come back when the weather’s better?”

  “Of course. Whenever you want.” Tuck began leading us back the way we had come. I hadn’t thought about how much fast-falling snow would hamper our progress, but man, did it ever. Luckily, Tuck was so familiar with the area that we didn’t have to worry about finding the exact path. But we did have to worry about where we stepped.

  After I’d rolled my ankle approximately five times, I tugged on Tuck’s coat. “You need to slow down, or I’m going to bite it.”

  When Tuck turned, I saw little worry lines creasing his brow. “I’ll slow down.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  Tuck studied the sky and then the path ahead. “I’m worried about us making it back in this.”

  Shit. I shouldn’t have pushed him to hike that extra thirty minutes. “I’ll go as fast as I can.”

  “Don’t hurt yourself. Because if I have to carry you, that will only slow us down even more.”

  I nodded and concentrated on exactly where I was putting my feet.

  “I’ll shorten my stride. Just try to step where I do.”

  I nodded and set my sights on the large boot prints his feet left behind. It took us at least three times as long to make it back to the truck than it usually did, and by the time we got there, at least eight inches of fresh powder covered the ground. I was soaking wet from my knees down, and I was freezing.

  Tuck beeped his locks and helped me up into the truck. He rounded the vehicle with an agility that seemed otherworldly. Turning over the engine, he looked over at me. “I think we need to look for a place to stay up here. I don’t feel good about trying to tackle the mountain roads in this.”

  I nodded, teeth chattering. “I just need to call my parents so they can keep Noah.”

  Tuck pulled onto what I hoped was the gravel drive, but who could really tell in this mess of white. “There’s a bed and breakfast at the base of this road. Hopefully, they’ll have rooms open.”

  Tuck made his way down the mountain road at a painfully slow pace I was grateful for as I held my hands up to one of the heater vents and rubbed them together. “Sorry I made you stay out longer.”

  “It’s not your fault. It doesn’t usually come down this heavy this early in the season.” Tuck’s shoulders seemed to ease a fraction when we pulled into a parking lot outside what looked like a large log cabin. “Come on.”

  I grabbed my pack and hopped down, wading through the snow until I reached Tuck’s side. We made our way towards the cabin, pausing to knock powder off our boots by the front door. Tuck pushed it open, and a curvy woman with red, curly hair wearing an apron greeted us. “Oh, you poor things. Come in, come in. Get out of that dreadful snow.”

  Tuck pulled off his hat. “Good evening, ma’am. Would you happen to have any vacancies? We don’t feel good about driving on these roads.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t. I just heard they closed the pass because there was an avalanche.”

  I blanched. Geez, this was worse than I’d thought.

  The woman ushered us forward. “You lucked out because I have one room left.”

  Tuck eyed me.

  “It’s fine,” I whispered. I was a grown-up. I could handle sharing a bed with Tuck for a night without jumping him or performing another striptease. At least, I hoped.

  “That would be great, ma’am.”

  The woman started down the hall. “Follow me. My name’s Trudy, by the way. This is my place. Usually, we just serve breakfast. But given the storm, I’ve put sandwiches and drinks in everyone’s mini-fridge and a whole lot of snacks. There’ll be something warm in the morning.”

  I hurried to keep up with her and Tuck. “Thank you so much, Trudy. I’m Jensen, and this is Tuck. You wouldn’t happen to have a gift shop, would you? Somewhere I could get some fresh clothes? Something to sleep in?”

  “No gift shop, honey, but I’ve got robes in the rooms, and if you leave your clothes in a bag outside your door, I’ll have them freshly laundered by morning.”

  I paused next to Trudy as she stopped in front of a door. “That would be amazing.”

  “Of course, dear.” She unlocked the door. “Here you go, home sweet home. I’ll see you both tomorrow morning. Just give me a holler if you need anything else.”

  Trudy was already headed back down the hall before I had a chance to make it through the doorway. When I did, I gasped.

  Tuck let out a snorted chuckle. “Think she likes flowers?”

  I’d never seen anything like it. Some form of flower adorned every surface in the room. The wallpaper, the bedding, hell, even the mini-fridge was covered. “At least it looks clean.”

  “Can’t have her shrine to flowers getting dirty.” He opened the mini-fridge. “Fridge’s stocked. You want to hop in the shower?”

  I glanced at a phone by the queen-sized bed. “I need to call my parents. You can go first.”

  Tuck nodded and headed for the bathroom. I picked up the phone and began to dial. By the time the water shut off, I had assured my parents that we were fine and would keep them updated when we could.

  The bathroom door opened, and steam billowed out. “It’s all yours.” Tuck emerged wearing a fluffy white robe. “There’s a bag on the floor for clothes.”

  I swallowed. Hard. “Okay.” My voice cracked on the second syllable.

  “Noah okay?”

  “He’s fine. My parents are worried but glad we found somewhere safe to stay.”

  Tuck gestured towards the fireplace in the corner with wood stocked beside it. “Even if the power gets knocked out, we’ll be fine.”

  I nodded. “I’m going to get clean.” I darted past him and into the safety of the bathroom. A wet and naked Tuck was not what my sex-deprived self needed. He was my friend. Probably the best one I had. I needed to keep him in that box. It was safe. I quickly shed my clothes, stuffing them into the laundry bag, and then stepped under the spray. The hot water was everything I needed in this world.

  I took my time washing up and even gave my hair a cursory blow-dry before steeling myself to step back into the room. Get ahold of yourself, Jensen. He’s just a good-looking man. You’ve resisted making a total fool of yourself in front of him for most of your life.

  I pulled open the door and made a beeline for the hall to set our laundry outside. I could sense that Tuck was on the bed, but I couldn’t get myself to look quite yet. I dropped the laundry on the floor and retreated back inside the room. Turning, I took in Tuck. He was sprawled cozily as could be across the mattress, a beer on his nightstand, and a paperback in hand.

  My gaze caught on the book. My brows rose. A shirtless man in a kilt graced the cover. “Interesting reading material you’ve got there.”

  “There weren’t a lot of options, but at least with this one, I know I’ll get sex.” He patted the bed next to him. I crossed the room and settled myself against the pillows. He handed me the book. “Want to
read aloud to me?”

  I took the paperback from his hand and smacked him with it.

  “Oh, you’ve done it now. You’ve insulted Kiernan and Marion’s love, prepare to go down.” Tuck went straight for my ticklish sides. I let out a peal of laughter but did my best to bite it back since I knew the other rooms were occupied. I wiggled and squirmed, trying to escape until Tuck stilled.

  His body was pressed flush against mine, his lips a breath away, and I suddenly became aware of something long and hard pressed against my inner thigh. I sucked in air. Before I had a chance to tell myself it was a monumentally stupid idea, I closed the distance between us.

  My mouth met his in a bruising kiss. It wasn’t pretty or graceful. It was pure need. Tongues dueled. Teeth caught on lips. I pressed myself into him, my thighs clenching.

  Tuck pulled back on a gasp. “I can’t.” He stared down into my eyes, his hand coming up to cup my face, not looking away. My heart hammered against my ribs. “Oh, fuck it.” He slammed his mouth down on mine. His tongue darted in, massaging my own. His teeth caught my lower lip with a tug, and I groaned.

  Tuck’s hand darted to the tie on my robe, pulling it free. The air seemed to almost sting my overly sensitized skin, my nipples puckering even tighter. “Fuck, you’re so damn beautiful.” Tuck’s words caught me off guard as he palmed a breast in one hand before ducking down to suck my nipple into his mouth.

  I bowed off the bed. It was as if there were a direct line from my nipple to my clit, and I had to squeeze my legs together to try and get some relief. “Tuck, I need you inside me. Now.”

  He came off my breast with a pop. “Now?”

  I nodded furiously. “Now.”

  “Shit. Condoms.” He pulled open the flowered nightstand drawers and came back with a strip of condoms. “Apparently, Trudy is passionate about two things. Flowers and safe sex.”

  I pulled the strip of condoms out of his hand and tore one off. “They’re good things to be passionate about.”

  “Can’t argue with you there.”