by Penelope Sky
“No, I’m asking you to forgive all of that. Just try—”
“No!.” Now his eyes were wide, matching the loud sound of his voice. He ended the conversation when he unleashed his rage.
The words left my throat.
“You have no idea how hard it was for me to drop my vendetta.” He lowered his head and stared at the floor for a while before he looked at me again. “How hard it was for me not to avenge my father, the woman I’m marrying…but I did it for you. Because I love you. Because I don’t want to hurt you by hurting him. That’s the most I can give, so don’t ask for more.”
Seven
Heath
I sat on the couch for hours, in the dark, staring out the window at the city beyond. My back leaned into the cushions, and I rubbed my fingers across my temple, trying to numb the gentle pulse that would soon become a headache. All I had to do was take a couple pills, but that seemed like too much work right now.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the exchange that just happened, the way Damien had ordered me away, treating me like a stray dog no one wanted to adopt.
I was scared.
I was scared of what Damien would say to Catalina.
That he would convince her to leave me.
It’d been hours, and she hadn’t called. She hadn’t texted me.
She was already on the fence, hardly agreeing to stay until I talked her into it, so if her brother was that furious by my presence in a public place…I could only imagine what he said to her behind closed doors.
That he would never stop hating me.
And then she would leave…and rip my heart out of my chest.
When midnight arrived, I was certain Catalina wasn’t with her brother anymore, so I called.
It rang…until the voice mail picked up.
“Fuck.”
I texted her. Baby.
No response.
Why did I go to her show tonight? Why didn’t I pay attention to my surroundings? Why didn’t I treat this situation with the delicateness it deserved?
Fuck.
I texted her again. Answer me. Or I’m coming over.
The three dots appeared right away.
But then they disappeared and never came back.
This was bad. I already knew what I had to face when I got there.
It almost made me not go at all.
When I walked in the door, she was on the couch, her cheeks puffy because she’d been crying. Her eyes were red, her olive skin was flushed and blotchy because the tears must have lasted for a while.
This torture was worse than the beating Damien had given me.
Because this killed my soul.
She didn’t look at me, her knees to her chest with a blanket draped over her, her arms wrapped around her legs. She was completely closed off from me before I even walked in the door.
I moved to the couch, watching her not look at me. I sat on the couch beside her, staring at the side of her face, observing her look at the other wall of the living room instead of me.
I’d already lost her.
“Baby.” I took a deep breath as I felt her slip away, felt her move further and further into the distance, felt her soul fight against the rope that bound us together months ago.
Nothing.
“Give it time,” I whispered to her, wishing she would turn and look at me, that she wouldn’t give me the cold shoulder like this when we’d just been a forest fire hours ago. “The wound is still too fresh right now. I will fix this, but you need to give me a chance. Don’t pull the plug yet.”
When she spoke, her voice was defeated. “He’s not going to change his mind…”
“Right now.”
“Ever.”
My heart was beating so fucking hard right now. “Don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us.”
Her arms tightened around her legs. “Please don’t make this harder for me…”
“It’s gotta be hard—but we’re worth it.”
“Heath—”
“No.” My breath came out shaky, because I’d never wanted something so much in my entire fucking life. She was everything to me, my family, my best friend, my woman. “You told me you would give me a chance. You have yet to do that.”
She slowly turned to me, finally revealing her entire face, all the damage her sobs had caused. “He said letting you live is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, but he did it for me. That’s the most he can give.”
“You’d be surprised what a man can give when he loves someone…” I believed Damien could give more, if he had more time to let the past become the past. Everything happened only a month ago. It was practically the present.
“I can’t live this way, Heath.” She shook her head. “I’m so close to my family. I go over there all the time, play chess with my father, have dinner with everyone all the time… I can’t lose that.”
“You never will.”
“But it’s already different.”
“I won’t come to your shows anymore. We won’t go out in public anymore.”
“And that’s not the relationship I want to have. Don’t you see that?”
“It’s just temporary.” I had to keep my voice controlled even though I wanted to let my emotions out of the cage and burst from my lips. “I know you’re upset right now. I’m sure he said things that hurt you—”
“My brother has never spoken to me like that before.”
“Because he’s upset—and he’s entitled to be upset. But I’m telling you, those emotions will fade…in time. You need to give me time.”
She turned away again.
No.
“I’m sorry…I am.”
“I don’t accept that.”
“Well, you have to.” She got to her feet and let the blanket slide off her legs and back to the floor. “Please don’t make this more difficult for me. I told him how I felt about you. I told him I want to be with you…even marry you someday. And it didn’t make a difference.” She placed her hand over her eyes, like she didn’t want me to see her cry. “I don’t have the strength to have this conversation with you, to have this argument, especially when I’m not going to change my mind. So please…just go.” She walked behind the back of the couch then across the kitchen, moving slowly like her body was broken, and then entered her bedroom. She shut the door behind her. And then it went quiet.
The guards stopped me at the entryway.
“No more money for you.”
My emotions were at the surface, a combination of rage, ferocity, and agony. So, I didn’t have the patience for this. I yanked the rifle out of one of the guard’s hands, smacked him hard in the head, and did the same to the other guard before he could move his finger to the trigger. I dropped the gun and entered the building.
Damien must have known I was coming because the other guards stood down on my way. I took the stairs then crossed the concrete floor as his crew prepared the next shipment to be dispersed across the country.
Some stopped to look at me.
I approached the office door, which was halfway open. He sat at the desk, relaxed in the chair like he was prepared for a long conversation.
I shut the door behind me and approached his desk, staring at his aloof features without saying a word. I hadn’t prepared a speech. I hadn’t asked my brother for advice. After my conversation with Catalina, I knew that I had to do something now, not later, that I was fighting for the single thing that mattered to me.
He propped his cheek on his closed knuckles, regarding me with indifference.
There was a beast inside my chest, trying to break free so he could crush Damien’s skull, cause him pain. I was a fucking volcano of agony, constantly spewing lava packed with my heartbreak. “Please.” That was all I could manage to get out, to convey my desperation, to show this man I had no pride when it came to the woman I loved.
He dropped his hand and straightened in his chair, regarding me with the same coldness.
“I love her. Pl
ease don’t do this to me.”
He watched me without blinking, a dead look in his eyes.
“I’ll do whatever you want, Damien. Name it. I’ll do it.”
He cocked his head slightly. “All I want is for you to disappear.”
I closed my eyes hard, my hands tightening into fists at the same time. When I opened my eyes again, I could feel the moisture coating them, feel a sensation I hadn’t felt in so long I wasn’t even sure what was happening.
He continued to stare at me, heartless.
“I love her so fucking much. Please.” I locked my gaze with another man, tears in my eyes, so desperate, I didn’t even try to hide them, didn’t feel any shame for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
“No.”
I felt like a knife was stabbing me in the chest.
“You didn’t break for me in the cage, but you’re breaking now…and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t enjoy it.”
My lungs expanded to take the breath I needed, to fight the desire to bash in his skull with my thumbs. “I’m not the only one you’re hurting, Damien. You don’t have to give a shit about me, but what I feel, she feels.” I placed my hand over my heart. “You’re doing this to her too. You’re making her cry to herself at night because she can’t be with the man she loves.”
“She’ll get over it.”
I dropped my hand, realizing Catalina was right. He would never change his mind. “I’m sorry for what I did. I’m apologizing to you.”
He shrugged. “I don’t want an apology. I just want you to leave.”
“Damien, come on…”
He shook his head. “You’re lucky I agreed to let you go. So instead of whining like a dog, you should be grateful.”
“I’d rather be killed than have to live without her.”
He chuckled slightly, like my heartfelt words were simply comical to him. “Then take your own life. Nothing would make me happier.”
“How can you do this to her?”
“Do this to her?” he asked incredulously. “I’m protecting her. She deserves a lot better than you. Don’t deny it.”
“Yeah, she does,” I said honestly. “But even if she marries another man, that doesn’t mean she’ll love him…not the way she loves me.”
“It’s just lust, Heath.”
“No, asshole,” I snapped. “I know what lust is. I’ve had a lot of it in my life. That’s not what this is.”
“Yeah, call me an asshole. That’s a good approach to get what you want.”
“Looks like you’ve made up your mind anyway.”
He snapped his fingers. “You aren’t as stupid as I thought. I guess that means she broke it off with you. Can’t think of any other reason why you’re standing here.”
I took a painful breath. “Yeah, it’s the only reason I could cry in front of another man when I never cry at all.” I felt two tears drip down my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away, blinking away the rest of the moisture so the tears would stop.
“Are we done here?” he asked bluntly.
I looked into the eyes of the cruelest man I’d ever met, who had the same eyes as the woman I loved. “You’ve made me suffer enough. Please…”
“I’m not trying to make you suffer. I just don’t want my sister to be with a piece of shit who tried to kill our father.”
“If she can forgive me, then you—”
“I’m not getting good dick from you, so I have no reason to forgive you.”
I didn’t know why I continued to stand there when this man was giving me no hope. “Our relationship is a lot more than that. I would die for her.”
“But you won’t bow out? Interesting…”
“Because I thought you’d love your sister enough to be the bigger man here.”
“Bigger man?” Now, he got to his feet, meeting me head on. “Do I need to remind you of everything you’ve done? How many times you’ve walked in here and taunted me? I don’t care if she wants to be with a kingpin like me. He doesn’t have to be Prince fucking Charming. But he can’t be you. My dad won’t be around much longer, so it’s my job to take care of her—”
“She doesn’t need a man to take care of her,” I snapped. “She needs a brother to be there for her, to support her, to be her friend. Stop this patriarchal bullshit. She’s a grown-ass woman who can make her own decisions—”
“She obviously can’t if she thinks this is a good idea.”
My nostrils flared because I couldn’t keep the anger inside. “You took her to the gypsy in Marrakech.”
His posture immediately changed at my words.
“Did she ever tell you what the gypsy said?”
He was still quiet, his eyes focused because he’d clearly never had this conversation with his sister.
“She said Catalina would only love one man—but he would be an enemy to her family.”
He took a deep breath, like the statement actually meant something to him.
“So, you would rather she marry a man she doesn’t love than be with me?”
His taunts were gone, like he didn’t know what to say.
“Come on, Damien.” I felt hope again, saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Catalina told me both Hades and Damien had fortunes that came true, so they would believe every word I said. “Are you really going to be the reason Catalina can’t be with the only man she’ll ever love? Are you really going to stand in her way?”
“Did the gypsy say anything else?”
Now the hope died away again. “That was all she told me.”
He bowed his head for a moment, breathing quietly as his mind no doubt raced. His fingertips were pressed to the desk, both of his hands on the wood. When he’d gathered his thoughts, he lifted his chin and looked at me again. “I never told her she couldn’t be with you. I just said I didn’t want anything to do with you.”
“But you know she needs both, Damien.”
“I’m not going to change the way I feel about you. That hatred runs too deep—and you know it’s completely justified. I told her she could marry you, spend her life with you, but I don’t have to be subjected to your company or your presence. Her decision to leave you is entirely her own—I’m not forcing her.”
“But that implies you’ll never come to our wedding.”
“You’ve known her for a few months. How can you—”
“Because I just know.”
He pulled his hands off the desk and slipped them into his pockets. “I’ve made my decision, Heath. She can love whomever she wants. She can do whatever she wants. But I don’t have to change the way I feel about it. If you don’t want her to leave you, I suggest you talk to her—not me.”
“Damien, she needs your approval—”
“And I’m not going to give it. Not now. Not ever.”
“You don’t see how that’s a problem?”
“If it is, it’s because her family is more important to her than you—and that’s how it should be. My feelings toward you are completely valid. Our problems don’t derive from something inconsequential.”
“I never said they weren’t valid. I just hoped you loved your sister more than you hated me—”
“I guess I don’t.” He lowered himself into the chair again. “Get out of my office, Heath. I’ve already wasted enough time on you.”
I stayed rooted to the spot, even though I’d already fired off all my ammunition. I’d already put my heart on the line, let the tears fall down my cheeks, begged for forgiveness. I’d done everything I could—and it didn’t matter.
I had no other choice but to leave.
I walked into her apartment and came face-to-face with her.
It was well after midnight, so she would normally be asleep, but she stood at the kitchen island with a glass of wine in her hand. When she looked at me, her eyes still had signs of tears, like she’d cried just a few hours ago.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I stopped at the opposite side of the counter,
my hands gripping the edge.
She dropped her gaze and looked into her glass.
“I just talked to Damien.”
She lifted her gaze, surprise in her eyes.
“I went to his office. We had words.”
She didn’t ask how it went, like she already knew.
“I told him about the gypsy… I was surprised you didn’t tell him about that.”
She was still quiet, her fingers on the rim of her glass.
“He asked if the gypsy said anything else. Did she?”
She ran her fingers through her hair. “No.”
I was hoping the gypsy had said something else, something that could help us. “Did you tell him about the basement? When I saw you there…”
She pulled the glass closer to her. “No.”
“Why?” I felt like that might give me a chance, because I’d saved her life when I had no obligation at the time.
“Because I know it would kill him…to know what happened to me.”
“But maybe it would give us a chance.”
She looked into my eyes, just as heartbroken as I was. “Nothing is going to change his mind, Heath. You’ve witnessed it with your own eyes now.”
I bowed my head. “I can’t lose you…”
She sighed deeply, like hearing my words caused her heart to break again.
I looked at her again. “He said he never told you to stop being with me. You’re free to be with whomever you want. So, let’s stick to what we agreed on. We’ll be together…and hope his attitude changes in time.”
“He’s not going to change his mind.”
“We can’t give up,” I whispered. “I refuse to give up on you—”
“Stop.” She closed her eyes, her hand going to her face, like she was about to explode into tears. “Please don’t do this to me…”
Those were the same words I’d said to Damien, and it hurt to listen to her beg for the same relief.
