Cornelli

by Johanna Spyri

  Autumn had come, and all the fruit trees in Mr. Hellmut's garden wereladen with gorgeous fruit. Bright red apples and golden pears wereshining through the green branches; dark blue plums, honey sweet, fellhere and there from the deeply weighted trees. Whoever passed thegarden had to stand still and look, full of wonder, at this greatabundance, and many a person was tempted to leap over the hedge andget one of the golden pears as a prize.

  Cornelli, staring in front of her, was sitting on the bench under thehazel nut tree. Matthew was just approaching from the stable; he worehis best coat, and one could see that something special was going on.

  "Do you want to come with me, Cornelli?" he asked, walking over to thebench where she was sitting. "I am just going to harness the horses.Your father is coming at eleven o'clock and I am going to drive downto the lake to meet him. Come with me! Our brown fellows will be sureto trot well, for they have had a long rest. Come along! It will befun, I know."

  Cornelli shook her head.

  "No?" said Matthew with disappointment. "I was sure you would not letslip a chance of driving gaily out into the bright morning to meetyour father. Shall I get you down some pears? No pears, either?" Matthewwent away, shaking his head. "If our master only had half a dozen boysand as many girls, how nice it would be here on the place. Then suchsplendid pears would not be hanging sad and forgotten on the trees."Then he added, in a murmur: "Not even to care about driving with suchhorses!"

  Soon afterwards, Mr. Maelinger arrived, for it was time for Cornelli'slessons. Most of the time the teacher sat beside his pupil shaking hishead. He really needed all his patience to endure the total indifferenceshe showed in all her tasks. To-day it was again the same.

  The two hours passed, and the carriage which was bringing home herfather had just driven up in front of the house. Mr. Maelinger wasfilled with astonishment, for his pupil, instead of jumping up happilyand running away to greet her father, looked shyly through the windowand did not budge.

  "You can go, Cornelli; your father is here! We have finished our work,"he said, and with these words departed.

  Cornelli had heard her father coming into the house and had heard theladies' joyful words of welcome. She crushed a tear that had begun totrickle down her cheek and went over to the room where her father hadjust entered.

  "How are you, child? Have you come at last?" the father called gailyto her. "But how strange you look, Cornelli!" he went on with a changedvoice. "What is it?" Cornelli had silently given him her hand and wasshyly looking down.

  "What has happened to you? How odd you look! I hardly know you anymore! Push away all that gypsy-like hair from your face! Why don't youlook at me pleasantly? Why do you keep looking away? For months I havebeen looking forward to this home-coming to my little daughter, who,I had hoped, would have gained much. So this is the way I am to findyou, Cornelli."

  Full of sorrow and anger, the father was gazing at the little girl.She had turned away and had not said a word. Her face, half hidden bythe horrible hair strands, seemed to be covered by a gray cloud whichthreatened to break out in a violent rain.

  "We shall talk it all over later, Frederick," said the cousin. "Letus first enjoy and celebrate the happy hour of your return and let uskeep all troublesome thoughts away." With these words, Miss Dorner ledher cousin to the dining room, where the table was festively set withall the good dishes Esther knew were her master's favorites.

  The Director's thoughts, however, were so troubled that even the festivemeal could not dispel them. He barely touched the food that was offered,for he could not take his eyes off his only child. She sat in frontof him with bowed head, and only now and then looked up at him, quiteshyly. The meal did not go through in a very festive spirit. It wasnoticeable that Mr. Hellmut had to force himself to the few words hespoke. His thoughts were elsewhere and were of a very disturbing nature.He got up from the table, as soon as possible, and hurried away.

  "He is going over to the works," said Miss Dorner to her friend,following him with her eyes. Cornelli, too, had left the room as soonas her father had gone. "I think it has upset him more than I thoughtit would. He has to give vent to his excitement a little, and I hopethat seeing the workmen over there will help him to get over hisimpression. I hope he will hear there many new and pleasant things--ofmuch work and good business. It is hard for him to carry on his endlesswork for the sake of such a child, don't you think so? But it can'tbe changed."

  After a while the Director came back again. He did not look much soothedor pleasantly surprised by what he had just heard. The ladies now satdown again to drink a cup of coffee with him.

  "They have spoiled many things for me over there," said the Director,sitting down beside them. "Even if it should mean considerable loss,I can bear it, but I cannot stand the way Cornelli has changed. Whata frightful sight she is, and how dumb and stupid she has grown. Shedid not show the slightest sign of pleasure at my coming and has notsaid a single word since then. She has hardly even looked at me andonly sits there as if her existence were a real misfortune--I cannotstand it. What has happened to the child?" In his excitement Mr. Hellmutjumped up and paced about the room.

  "Nothing has happened to the child; at least, we know of nothing, dowe, Betty?" said Miss Dorner. "We have both tried to teach her goodmanners, for we found that she lacked them sadly. We did it chieflyon your account. Sorry as I am to say it, Frederick, I have to tellyou that the child's disposition is so terribly obstinate one canhardly do anything with her. The more we fought against it and triedto bring her on the right path, the worse it got and the more she wouldinsist on having her way.

  "What have we not said against this terrible disfigurement! And allfor nothing! The more we said, the more Cornelli would pull her hairinto her eyes. So I gave it up, for I saw that only physical punishmentwould help in such a case and I wanted to leave that to you; I did notcome into your house for that. I do not even dare to decide if thatwould help. I have really never in all my life seen such a stubbornchild. I shall certainly admire anybody who can bring her to rights."

  The director had marched up and down the room with restless steps. Nowhe suddenly stood still.

  "But good gracious!" he exclaimed, "there must certainly be a way tohelp a child of ten years. Are there no means except chastisement tobring up a young creature like her? What an abominable thought! I willnot believe such a thing! Can you give me no advice? What could I do?Ladies surely know how to educate a little girl. Something simply hasto be done right away. I am to blame for my neglect and for leavingher too long in the wrong hands. Oh, what would my Cornelia say if shecould see her child?" Mr. Hellmut threw himself down in his chair andput his hands before his face.

  "Please calm yourself, Frederick! It is not your fault at all, for youcan't fight against her disposition," the cousin said soothingly. "Wehave thought of a way of helping the child. You might send her to aboarding school in town where there are a great many children and younggirls. Children often help each other by rubbing up against one anotherand by noticing each other's faults and mistakes."

  "Do you think that this might help Cornelli?" asked the fatherdoubtfully. "Cornelli is not used to being rubbed against and laughedat."

  "For that reason it would make a still deeper impression on her,"answered the cousin. "You can believe me when I say that this may bethe only means to break her obstinacy, and I am not sure that eventhis will help. If such a school can't break her will, nobody on earthcan reform her; you can believe me, Frederick."

  "She is still very young to be sent away from home," said the father,full of pity. "But I fear that you are right. She could not get betterhere, only worse, and so it will probably have to be. Do you know ofa boarding school you could recommend?"

  The cousin answered that she knew of one, and offered to take thenecessary steps as soon as she was again at home. Miss Dorner hopedin vain that her cousin's humor would change and that he would becomeagain the merry and sociable companion of old days. He tried with allhis might to be en
tertaining when they met at table; but he always hadto glance at his little girl, who sat at her place dumb and seeminglyafraid even to glance about her. A deep shadow always came across hisfeatures, and one could see that it was hard for him to mingle in thegeneral conversation.

  Miss Dorner at last had enough of his unfriendly attitude. As a lastmeans to break it and to shake him up a little, she said to him on thethird day after his arrival: "It seems to me, Frederick, that you aretoo much occupied even to remember your duties as a host. We arethinking of going back to town. Are you willing?"

  "I understand your decision absolutely," Mr. Hellmut answered politely."You are right in telling me that I am the most unpleasant host thatcould be found, but I hope you understand that the change in Cornellihas spoiled everything for me and has only filled me with the thoughtof how to help her. I hope very much that you will visit my house againat a pleasanter time. You can order the carriage whenever you want it."

  The cousin had not expected this answer. "You go entirely too far,Frederick," she said angrily. "How can a man sacrifice everything andchange all his ideas for the sake of such a child?"

  "You seem to forget that it is my Cornelia's and my only child,"answered the Director. "But we shall not talk about it any more, becausewe could not understand each other. I am so grateful for your goodwillthat I do not want to cause you any anger at the end."

  Two days later the carriage stood before the door. Both ladies steppedin and Mina stepped in after them. The latter had known so well howto make herself liked by them that they were taking her to town, forMina had wished to become a maid in the city to get away from countrypeople. One of the ladies was to take her as chambermaid, but it hadnot been settled yet which of them would do so.

  Esther was terribly indignant because Mina was leaving a good housefor no reason whatsoever. Since Esther had been managing in theDirector's home she had always felt the honor of the house to be herown. Full of resentment, she was standing behind her master, who wasshaking hands as a last farewell.

  Miss Mina was looking towards the other side, where Cornelli stood:"Won't you even give me your hand? This is not very friendly of you.That is just the way you are," she said to the child in a low voice.

  Now Esther broke forth: "Miss Mina," she called out as loudly as shecould, "please be so kind as to tell the ladies on the trip who leftthe dusty marks on the sofa by standing on it. They were not from achild's shoe."

  Mina blushed a deep scarlet and Miss Dorner, full of astonishment,looked at her glowing face. She expected a fitting retort, but nonecame.

  "Go ahead, Matthew," Miss Dorner ordered excitedly. She did not desirea further explanation.

  Mr. Hellmut had moved away.

  Cornelli now took Esther's broad hand inside both her own and pressedit hard. A ray of joy flitted over her features, the first after along, long time. "Oh, I am so glad that you said that, Esther; I ammore glad than you can think," she said eagerly. "If you had not saidthat, they would have thought all their lives that I had done it anddenied it. But how does Mina know who did it?"

  "She knows, because she did it herself," Esther replied.

  "Oh, oh! So she did it with her own feet," Cornelli exclaimed. "It isbetter that she has gone then. We'd rather be left alone here, wouldn'twe, Esther, just you and I?"

  "Yes, indeed," said the cook, full of satisfaction. "Just tell yourfather that I do not mind double work, but that I do mind deceitfulways."

  Cornelli had not spoken to her father since he had come back. She wasshy before him, because she realized that the sight of her displeasedhim. She was, however, quite sure that she could never change andalways had to be like that. She was also certain that he would onlyabhor her more if he ever found out what was hidden under her locksof hair. She therefore went slowly and hesitatingly towards his roomin order to give him Esther's message. In former times she had alwaysrun to him gaily, whenever she had something to tell him. Since thenthings had changed.

  "It will never again be that way," she said to herself. The thoughtseemed to weigh so heavily on her that she suddenly stood still. Atthat moment her father opened the door in front of which she stood."Oh, here you are, Cornelli," he said delightedly. "Did you want topay me a little visit? We have really hardly seen each other. Come inhere! I was just going to get you, for I want to speak with you."

  Cornelli entered, not saying a word and avoiding her father's glance.

  "Come, Cornelli," he said, leading her through the room and sittingdown beside her. "I have something to tell you that will make you veryhappy. You have changed so much during my absence and so little toyour advantage that something has to be done for your education. Itis high time. I shall take you to a boarding school in town, where youcan be with many other children and young girls. You will have thechance to learn many things from them and to make friends with many.You will be sure to change there, then you can return to bring yourfather joy. I cannot enjoy you now, for I do not know what ails you.It may be better after you get some education. I expect to take youaway next week."

  Cornelli's face became snow white from sudden terror. First she utteredno sound, but soon she burst into violent tears.

  "Oh, Papa," she sobbed, "leave me at home! I'll be good. Oh, don'tsend me to town to so many children! Oh, I can't, I can't. Oh, Papa,don't send me away!"

  Mr. Hellmut could not bear to see Cornelli's tears and still less tohear her supplications. "But for her own good it has to be," he saidto himself to strengthen his resolution. Cornelli's lamentations weretoo much for him and he rushed away.

  Several hours later, the time had come for supper and he returned fromthe iron foundry.

  Esther came to meet him: "Oh, I am glad that you have come, Director,"she said excitedly. "When I went up to Cornelli just now she was crying.I wanted her to taste some of the little plum cakes she usually likesso much, but the poor child only shrieked: 'Oh, leave me here, leaveme here!' Oh, Mr. Hellmut, what if Cornelli should get sick and die?"

  "Nonsense, Esther," he returned; "children do not die from obstinacy."

  The master of the house had tried to speak harshly, but he did notquite succeed. He ran straight upstairs to Cornelli's room and saw thechild on her knees in front of the bed. Her head was pressed into thepillows and she cried as if her heart was breaking.

  "Oh, don't send me away, don't send me away!" she cried as soon as heentered.

  He saw that Cornelli was trembling all over from fear and excitement."I cannot endure this," he said to himself, and seizing his hat ranout of the house.

  Martha was sitting in her peaceful little chamber, busy with her mendingand thinking about Cornelli. She was wondering what would happen nowthat she was again left alone with her father. She wondered if the olddays would come back, or if something new was going to be done forCornelli's education. The door was suddenly flung open and Mr. Hellmutentered.

  "Oh, Martha, I do not know what to do," he said to her in a perturbedmanner. "You simply have to help me. You knew my wife and you know mychild and love her; and besides, she is attached to you. Tell me whathas come over her. Since when has she been so frightfully stubborn?Was the child always that way, or has she only grown more stubbornlately? Have you noticed how she has changed in my absence?"

  "There is nothing so very much the matter with Cornelli, Mr. Hellmut.Cornelli is not an ill-natured child, I am sure of that. But won't youtake a seat, Director?" Martha interrupted her speech, placing a chairnow here and now there for her visitor, who was running excitedly toand fro. But he refused, for he was too restless to settle down.

  "It was really a very abrupt and sudden change for the child, and itwas hard for her to have everything so different all at once," Marthasaid. "Even an older child might have become shy under those conditions,and Cornelli is still very young. It is hard for a small plant to havetoo much done for it all at once and too suddenly; it has to have timeto develop, and the better the plant the more carefully it should betended."

  "I hope you
are not trying to insinuate that it was not good forCornelli to at last get into the right hands," said Mr. Hellmut,standing still in the middle of the room. "I have to reckon it as agreat blessing that she was thrown with ladies of culture andrefinement, who could awaken in her everything that was good, nobleand fine, and could teach her many things. My Cornelia would have donethis herself, above all others, for she was in all those things themost striking example. The child has not a trace of her, not even inher looks; everything is lost that used to remind me of her."

  "Oh, Mr. Hellmut, if I might be allowed to say anything else, I wouldonly add one word," Martha replied calmly. "I have always found thata little love goes further than many good rules. I know that a youngchild can be frightened by harsh words more than grown-up peoplerealize. Afterwards they cannot understand the cause of the shy behaviorwhich is the result. Cornelli has not lost her mother's eyes, only onecannot see them under her hanging fringes."

  "Yes, that's it, Martha, this horrible disfigurement, this obstinacywhich holds fast to it all. The shy, spiritless manner, the absolutelychanged ways of the child hurt and worry me so. It takes away all myjoy and all my courage and paralyzes all hope for the future. It hasabsolutely spoiled my life."

  The visitor had gotten more and more stirred up as he went on. "So Ishall help her in the only way I know of: I shall send her to a boardingschool. I just told her about it and she acted as if she were absolutelydesperate. I simply cannot look upon her terrible despair. I actuallyfeel as if my Cornelia could have no peace in Heaven if she heard herchild's supplications."

  "Oh, Director, if you could only keep Cornelli at home for a littlewhile, so that she could calm down," Martha said humbly. "Cornelli hashad to go through so many new experiences lately that it would be goodfor her to stay quietly at home for a while. In the meantime you couldget her more accustomed to the idea of leaving home, so that it wouldnot scare her so dreadfully. I promise to do all I can too, Mr. Hellmut.I will tell her pleasant things about the school and the nice childrenthat she might meet there."

  "That is a fine idea, Martha," Mr. Hellmut said, a little more calmly."Please do all you possibly can to make the idea pleasant and desirableto the child. Do not forget, Martha, that you are my only help."

  After these words Mr. Hellmut went away.

  "Oh, the good kind Director!" said Martha, following him with her eyes."What help can old, stupid Martha be to him, I wonder. But I shallcertainly do whatever I can."

  Arrived at home, Mr. Hellmut went straight up to Cornelli's room. Shewas still kneeling at her bed in the same attitude, and still cryingbitterly.

  "Get up, Cornelli, and stop crying," he said. "I meant well with you,but you did not understand me. You shall stay at home for the present;later on you may feel differently about it. You can go to Marthato-morrow. Listen well to her words, for she is your best friend."

  Cornelli could not have heard a more consoling word. It sounded sohopeful after all the horrible news about going away.

  "Can't I go to Martha right away?" she said longingly.

  "Yes, you can, Cornelli," replied her father, "but you have not eatenanything yet."

  "That does not matter," said Cornelli, already running down the stairs.

  At last Cornelli was running again. She flew quickly up the littlestairs and into Martha's room.

  "I have to go away, Martha, but not right away. Papa says that I haveto go," the child called out on entering. "Papa told me to come toyou; I think it was because I cried all the time and he wanted me tostop. But I won't stop, unless you promise to help me to stay at home.I do not want to go to all the strange children. I couldn't stand it;oh, no, I couldn't! Oh, it would be dreadful. Please help me, Martha,help me!" The terrible fear in Cornelli's voice and the sight of herswollen eyes went straight to Martha's heart.

  "Come and sit down on your little stool the way you used to in the oldtimes, Cornelli," she said lovingly, "and I'll tell you something thatwill help and console you. It has helped me, too, and still does whentrouble comes. You see, Cornelli, I once had to go through a terriblesorrow just as great as yours is to-day. I had to give a child I lovedback to God. So I cried, as loudly as you are crying and even louder:'No, I can't do it, I can't!' The more I fought against it, the moreterrible I felt, till in the end I even thought I should despair. SoI cried out in my heart: 'Can nobody help me?' And then I suddenlyknew who could do it. I knelt down and prayed to God: 'Oh, give mehelp, for thou alone canst do it!'"

  "Can I stay here if I pray like that, Martha? Will God help me rightaway?" asked Cornelli eagerly.

  "Yes, He will surely help you the way He knows is best for you,Cornelli. If it should be good for you to go away and you ask yourFather in Heaven for help, He will bless your life away from home, sothat it won't be as hard as you have feared. If you pray to Him, youwill get the firm assurance that nothing will be hard for you, becauseyou have His help in everything you do. God is sure to ordain everythingin such a wise way that happiness will come to you in the end."

  "Did you have to give Him your child after all?" Cornelli wanted toknow.

  "Yes, God took it to Himself," Martha answered.

  "And could you get happy again, Martha?"

  "Yes, yes. The pain was very great, but I was consoled by the thoughtof my child's peace. I knew how many ills he had been spared. God gaveme the assurance that He meant well with both of us. With that thoughtI could grow happy again."

  "I want to go home, now," said Cornelli, suddenly getting up. It seemedas if something were drawing her away.

  "Yes, go now, child, and think of what I told you!" said Martha,accompanying her.

  "Yes, I will," said Cornelli. She ran home quickly, because the desireto get to her room was urging her on.

  Cornelli had never prayed so earnestly and heartily as she did thatday. Kneeling beside her bed, she confided all her sorrow to her Fatherin Heaven, and begged Him to make her happy once more.

  CHAPTER VIII

  A MOTHER