"True. But the important thing is she's all right."
"Yesterday morning she was all right, but I don't know about now. I wish I could do something to help."
"You are doing something. You're taking care of Brett."
"Not tonight I wasn't. I was just having fun."
"Hannah, stop," he said forcefully, refusing to let her wallow in guilt. "You took a short break. That's not a crime. Brett was bonding with his grandmother, which was good for both of them. And whether you'd sat at home all night or gone skating, whatever is happening with Kelly would still be happening."
"I know, but I feel helpless. I hate this feeling of being out of control."
"I get it. But Kelly is alive and well, even if we don't know where she is. One thing we do know is that your sister is a survivor. She's very resourceful. She's been on her own since she was nineteen. She has a son and a daughter on the way. She'll fight for them. She'll do whatever she needs to do."
"Except maybe turn herself in."
"There could be a reason she's buying herself time. She could be trying to build a case for self-defense. Or maybe it's something else entirely. She could have asked you for help, but she didn't. All she wants you to do is take care of Brett, and that's what you're doing."
"Maybe." She didn't sound convinced, but the bleak look was fading from her eyes. He suspected that had more to do with her fighting spirit than his words, but he was still happy to see her bouncing back. "I should go in." She put her hand on the door, then looked back at him. "I know this night has gone a lot of different ways, Jake."
"That's an understatement. Look, we don't have to decide anything tonight, Hannah."
"I think it's already decided," she said with a heaviness in her voice that disturbed him.
"I don't agree. We need to have another conversation. We'll talk tomorrow," he said firmly.
She hesitated, then shrugged. "All right. Good night, Jake."
"Good night," he said, happy she hadn't said good-bye. It gave him hope that he could turn things around. Because he intended to do just that.
He would tell her everything, but first he had to tell someone else.
Chapter Twenty
Hannah woke up Tuesday morning to the ringing of her doorbell, a small boy jumping on her bed, and a splitting headache. She'd gotten stress headaches ever since her dad had died, but she hadn’t had one this bad in a while. Apparently, having sex with Jake had not been the stress release it should have been.
Actually, it was the after-sex part that had created all the tension, as well as the sleepless night she'd spent trying to figure out if she was willing to push Jake away because of something he didn't want to talk about that had happened twelve years ago.
She still hadn't come to a conclusion on that. Thankfully, she had way too many distractions to worry about it at the moment. She heard voices downstairs and realized that her mom was talking to someone. Her mother had been on the pull-out couch in her living room when she'd gotten home last night and said she would just spend the night there, so she didn't have to go out in the cold. She'd offered her mom her bed, but that invitation had been declined, and she'd been too tired to argue.
"Is Santa here?" Brett asked, drawing her attention back to him.
"No, that's not Santa. He won't come until tonight, long after you go to sleep." She slid out of bed and threw on a robe. Her tension eased when she recognized the familiar voice downstairs. "That's your Uncle Tyler. Want to meet your mom's brother?"
Brett nodded and followed her down to the living room. When she saw her brother's smile, happiness flooded through her. He'd made it home. At least, one thing had gone right.
"Tyler," she said, giving him a big hug. Her little brother was five years younger than her but six inches taller, with brown hair and her mother's green eyes. "You look good."
"You don't," he said dryly. "Bad night?"
"You could say that."
Tyler turned to Brett. "Hi, Brett. I'm Tyler."
"Mommy said you like baseball."
Silence followed Brett's unexpected words.
All three of them were shocked that Kelly had spoken of Tyler at all. He'd been nine when she'd left home.
"I do like baseball," Tyler said, a thick note of emotion in his voice.
"So do I," Brett said. "Mommy throws me the ball sometimes. She says I have a good arm."
Another painful reminder that Kelly might not have been present in their lives, but she had certainly been present in her son's life, and Brett needed his mother.
"We'll have to play catch sometime," Tyler said.
"But not today, not in the snow," her mom said in a decidedly cheerful voice. "I'm going to make chocolate chip pancakes in honor of Tyler, because they're his favorite. Brett, do you want to help me?"
Brett gave an enthusiastic smile and took her mom's hand.
As they left the room, she turned to her brother. "I thought you were going to call when you got a flight."
"I figured I'd surprise you just in case the flight got canceled or delayed again, but I was able to beat the storm." He paused, giving her a speculative look. "I have to admit I didn't expect to find Mom sleeping on your couch. Is there a reason she couldn't drive home?"
She gave him a reassuring smile. "It's nothing bad. She was watching Brett for me last night, and she just decided to stay over. She's actually doing really well, Tyler. Since she decided to meet her grandson, she has really changed for the better. It's like she remembered how to be a mother once she realized she was a grandmother."
"That's great news," he said with relief.
"It really is. I've had trouble trusting that she's okay and not about to go off the wagon again."
"What else is new?"
She made a face at him. "I know. I'm very good at worrying about things that might not happen. Anyway, I think she's trying her best to be our mom again, although she's still clueless. You don't like chocolate chip pancakes."
"Nope. Blueberry waffles are my thing. And you made 'em the best."
"I had a lot of practice perfecting those waffles for you." She paused. "I think it was Kelly who liked the chocolate chip pancakes."
"I'm sure they'll be good enough to eat and no reason to mention her mistake," he said easily. Tyler had always been the peacemaker, probably because she'd protected him from a lot of the really bad stuff, so he didn't have the same memories that she had.
"No reason to do that," she agreed. "Not with everything else going on."
"Is there any news about Kelly beyond the texts you've sent me?"
"Only that she was spotted at a convenience store on the road to Black Falls. Adam wanted to know if I had any idea where she was headed. I told him we camped there a few summers, but that was in Butterfly Canyon, and there aren't any cabins there. Anyway, the police are doing everything they can to find her."
"Good." He grabbed his bag. "I brought a few presents this year. I know we don't usually exchange, but once I heard about Brett and that you'd gotten a tree, I thought we'd need something to put under it." He paused, as his gaze moved to the tree. "Looks like you beat me to it. There are already presents there."
She was actually surprised to see those presents. "Mom must have wrapped some of mine. Or she bought some of her own." A warm memory ran through her head. "Remember how she used to hold off on wrapping our presents until the night before Christmas? She wanted us to wake up Christmas morning and think the presents were from Santa."
"I remember that. I'd go to bed with just one present under the tree, and the next morning there would be five or six."
They exchanged a smile at the shared memory.
"This is going to be a good Christmas, Hannah," Tyler said with an optimistic note in his voice. "Kelly will make it home."
She wanted to believe that. "If Kelly comes home, it would be the first time in fifteen years that we're all together."
"I can't believe it's been that long. This has to be the year."
"I hope so." She sent up a silent prayer that they would get the miracle they needed. But at the moment, that felt like an impossible dream.
Four hours later, Hannah felt like one part of her impossible dream was coming true. They didn't have Kelly back, but the rest of the family was becoming closer. Brett, her mom, Tyler and she had had an incredible day. After breakfast, they'd taken a walk into town to pick up groceries for Christmas dinner, and to drop off presents at charity organizations. They finished their errands with lunch at Chloe's café, and when they'd gotten back to the house, they'd decided to build a snowman. She couldn't remember having this much fun as a family since her dad had died.
Brett's childhood joy and innocence awakened something in all of them, but especially her mother, who seemed like a completely different person. It was quite amazing. Maybe her mom would be able to remain sober and present in all their lives.
Tyler, too, had turned into the fun-loving kid she remembered. He seemed to enjoy letting go of the stress of law school to build a snowman with Brett. When they were finished, she ran inside the house, grabbed a red scarf, and came back to drape it around the snowman's neck. Then they all stood back to admire their work. It wasn't a snowman that would win any awards, but it was still pretty good.
"Can we build another one?" Brett asked.
She smiled at his never-ending energy. "It's time for you to take a nap."
"I'm not tired."
"Well, you'll have to try to get a little sleep."
"Is Santa coming tonight?"
"Yes, he is," she said, as she grabbed his hand and took him into the house.
Her mom and Tyler followed, and they all tossed their coats and gloves onto a big pile on the chair by the stairs.
"I'll put Brett down for his nap," her mother said.
"Are you sure? You've been doing a lot of the heavy lifting," she said.
"It's past time for me to do that." Her mother turned to the little boy. "Come on, Brett, I'll read you a story before you go to sleep."
As her mom and Brett went upstairs, she and Tyler made their way into the living room, flopping down on opposite chairs.
"That was fun," Tyler said. "Even though at times it felt like we'd entered some alternate universe with Mom. But I'm not complaining."
"I know what you mean. Brett has awoken something in Mom, and it's beautiful to see. But now he needs his Christmas wish to come true, and that's for Kelly to come back. I've been trying to think of where she might go to hide, and I just can't come up with anything."
"I wish I could say I knew her well enough to guess, but, honestly, I don't remember her that well. That sounds terrible, but it's the truth. I have images of her in my head, but they're fleeting moments in time. Sometimes I'm not even sure I remember the scene or if someone just told me about it. Like, I have this vision of her pitching a softball game. Was I there or did you just tell me what a great pitcher she was?"
"You were there. You were usually playing in the dirt when she was pitching."
"Then I guess I do remember something." He cocked his head to one side, giving her a thoughtful look. "What do you remember about her?"
"She used to do my hair and nails when she was stuck babysitting us. I remember her talking on the phone a lot. She had a laugh that sounded like a musical melody. It started out slow and just kept going, like a song that starts to wrap around your heart."
"I kind of remember that."
"She was fun, reckless, and impulsive. In some ways, she was a lot like Mom. Maybe that's why they couldn't get along. But in the end, she was Daddy's girl. She was definitely his favorite."
"Did that make you feel bad?"
"Middle children are always out in the cold," she said lightly. "Not the desperately wanted first child, or the adorable third child, just the one in the middle."
"I don't even think of us as being three. It was really just you and me."
"We were a good team; we still are."
His expression turned serious. "Sometimes, I feel like I let you carry too much of the load, Hannah. I didn’t help enough. You were going to be a doctor, but you didn't go that route, because you were raising me."
"Well, I love being a nurse, so don't go thinking I'm not happy with my career choice. I ended up exactly where I was meant to be."
"That's good." He paused. "Are you seeing anyone?"
She hesitated. "Not really."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, I've actually reconnected with Jake. I don't know if you remember—"
"Of course I remember Jake. He was a great guy until he broke your heart and made you cry for about a year straight. You're getting back together with him?"
"I don't know. He's the same but he's different; he's better. He's been really supportive through this whole situation, and I still really like him. I'm just afraid we'll end up in the same place. I told him last night that I think we should be done."
"You're letting fear stop you from doing what you want?" Tyler asked.
"I wouldn't put it that way."
"There's no other way to put it. You just said you were afraid, so you ended it."
"He hurt me, Tyler. While he has apologized, he has never really said why he did it. And I can't deal with secrets. I need to be in a relationship where all the cards are face up on the table."
"Where's the fun in that? There's nothing wrong with a little mystery."
"There's plenty wrong."
"Well, I think you're wrong," he said pointedly. "You're also not acting like yourself. You are the girl who goes against all odds to achieve her goals. But you're letting something from a long time ago stop you from being happy now? That doesn't seem smart."
"I didn't say it was smart. It's just that Jake has so much power over me. He sweeps me off my feet so easily. I could lose myself in him. And it took a tremendous amount of effort and a lot of years for me to get over him the first time. Why would I put myself through that again?"
"Love."
She stiffened at his simple answer. "What do you know of love?"
"I might have met someone," he admitted.
"Really? Is it serious?"
"It could be. We're going to spend New Year's together in Aspen."
"That sounds romantic." She felt an unexpected wave of jealousy. She had a feeling her New Year's Eve was going to be another night alone or watching her friends fawn all over their boyfriends and husbands. Aside from Keira, the single circle was getting quite small.
"I plan on pulling out all the stops," Tyler said, an excited sparkle in his eyes.
"Good for you. When do I get to meet her?"
"We'll see how New Year's goes. What are you doing that night?"
"I have no idea. I can't think past Christmas or Kelly." She let out a sigh. "I feel so frustrated, Tyler. I want to go out and find her."
"Black Falls is a huge area. Where would you even start looking?"
"I don't know, but I feel like I have to do something. This inaction is driving me crazy."
Tyler gave a big yawn, then gave her an apologetic smile, "Sorry. You're not boring, I just need some coffee. I had to get up at three thirty this morning to catch my flight."
"Why don't you take a nap? You can use my room. Mom is planning to spend the day and evening here. She can watch Brett if I run out for a bit."
"Where are you going to go?"
"Maybe nowhere. I'm still thinking about it."
"Well, let me know what you decide," Tyler said, as he got to his feet. "In the meantime, I'm going to make some coffee."
As Tyler left, she felt a restless urge to do something; she just didn't know what.
Part of that restlessness had to do with Jake. She hadn't talked to him all day, and she found herself missing him. That was crazy, since she was the one who had told him they needed to be done. Now, less than twenty-four hours later, all she wanted to do was talk to him, kiss him, wrap her arms around him. Her body still tingled with memories from las
t night. It would have been a lot smarter to break up with him before she had sex with him, but then they wouldn't have had sex, and it was very difficult to regret those hours together, which had been some of the best hours of her life.
Forcing her mind off Jake, her thoughts returned to her sister. It was almost two, ten hours until Christmas, and only another eight hours after that before Brett would wake up and expect to get his Christmas gift from Santa.
Where could Kelly be? Had there been some other clue that they'd missed?
She'd gone through the suitcase and Brett's backpack a dozen times.
Was there anything at the cabin she'd overlooked? Adam had gone through the house and said they'd found nothing of interest. Could there have been something there only she would recognize, like the unicorn necklace?
Jumping to her feet, she knew where she needed to go. It was a thirty-minute drive to the cabin. But she had nothing else to do this afternoon, and she'd be back before the storm hit.
As she went to grab her coat, her mom came down the stairs.
"Brett fell asleep before I finished the story," her mom said.
"That's good. Are you going to stick around for a while?"
"I'd like to." Her mom gave her a quizzical look. "Unless, you'd rather have Tyler to yourself?"
"No. Actually, I was going to run out for an hour, and I'm not sure Tyler will be able to stay awake to keep an eye out for Brett. He got up early this morning."
"I'll be here. Where are you going?"
"I just have a last-minute Christmas errand to run," she said vaguely.
"Well, don't be too long. The weather is supposed to turn."
"I'll be back before that." She grabbed her coat and gave her mom a smile. "Thanks for helping out so much."
Her mother smiled back. "Thanks for letting me." She paused. "It's almost Christmas, and I have a good feeling about this year. I think Kelly will come home and for the first time in a very long time, we'll be a family again."
"I hope so."
Chapter Twenty-One
Hannah tried to hang on to her hopeful feeling, but as she neared the cabin, her stomach churned, and anxious thoughts ran through her head. The temperature had dropped another ten degrees, and the snow was coming down at a steady rate, blanketing the trees and road in powdery white. She didn't know if it was the incoming storm or the fact that it was Christmas Eve, but the highway around the lake was nearly empty, and when she turned off onto the narrow road leading down to the lake and the four cabins at Wicker Bay, there wasn't a car in sight.
Just One Kiss: A heartwarming Christmas romance (Whisper Lake Book 4) Page 20