Let Me Love You: A Novel

by Praks, Wanitta

  I want to sing this next part in front of her, so I walk off the stage and start my journey to the front of the crowd where Ivy stands.

  The girls are going wild when they see me on the ground floor. They push and shove each other as I make my way down stage to sing closer to them.

  It’s been a good few months since I last held a microphone in my hand and sang with this much glory. Now with Ivy standing right in front of me, I put all my love and energy into each word as I sing to her.

  Because I’m in love with you, in love with you.

  I think I fallen, fallen, fallen in love with you.

  Because I love you, I love you.

  I think I fallen, fallen, fallen in love with you.

  See my eyes, the love I have for you.

  See my eyes, the world I give to you.

  I stare at Ivy, half smirking and half smiling at her. She’s scolding at me. I know because she’s making that grouchy face again. All the other girls, though, are shoving each other, trying to get in front of Ivy. Ivy, who isn’t well prepared for the onslaught of the crowd, ends up tossed to the side. I follow her as she gets pushed to the edge.

  One little touch that can make me go into this paralyzed state,

  Or that one little smile that can make me smile,

  And I act like a love fool,

  A lovesick fool that is in love with you.

  Ivy, can you hear the lyrics to my song? One little touch from you and I can’t think straight. My skin burns wherever you touch, yet I want you to keep on touching me.

  The girls are screaming like mad. Mandy is going a bit overboard, hyperventilating when I stand in front of her, looking at Ivy. She flutters her arms about like she’s going to faint. I move forward until I’m near the edge of the crowd where Ivy is.

  Ivy is being passive. She’s being pushed around to the back again. I’m getting rather annoyed with this nonsense.

  Get it together, girls. I’m singing this song for Ivy, not you Ashley, or Carina, or Mandy. Stop pushing in front of her.

  One little gesture that can make me think of you all day,

  Or that one little kiss that now traps me in your love.

  I surrender myself to you.

  And I act like a lovesick fool for the whole day.

  I go to the other edge of the crowd, where Ivy ends up, but I realize there’s no point in attempting this route. Ivy is just going to be pushed about again, so I go back up onstage. When my eyes connect with Ivy’s, I sing my solo.

  That’s because I love you, I love you.

  I want to confess I’m in love you.

  That’s because I love you, I love you.

  Please tell me you’re in love with me too.

  See my eyes, the love I have for you.

  See my eyes, the world I give to you.

  See my eyes, I want to give you all of me.

  See my eyes, I love you forever, for all eternity

  The song ends, and applause erupts around us. I smile and wave at everyone, making sure all this time my eyes stay in contact with Ivy’s. After the applause dies down, I say through the microphone, “Let’s go to Little Café to celebrate Apollo’s new single.”

  “Plus, for Zac getting well again,” Kai yells from somewhere in the crowd.

  I smirk at him. “Yeah. That too.” Then I jump offstage and approach Ivy. She’s standing all the way at the back. “Ivy, my new friend, you’re coming too,” I say when I go to her. And without her saying a word, I literally drag her from the crowd and push her toward my car. Ivy complains the whole way.

  “Let me go, Zac. Didn’t you tell me you’re going to take me home?”

  “I will,” I tell her. “Just after our little celebration.”

  “But I want to go home, Zac. Home.” She drums her feet like a kid. I find that super adorable.

  “I know you want to go home, but don’t you want to hang out with your new friend? You said I was your friend last week. We didn’t get to hang out with each other at all. Shouldn’t we create a bond together now?”

  The bond that I’m planning to make has nothing to do with friends.

  After another quiet minute, she looks up at me and says, “Fine.”

  I smile and open the door for her, happy I’ve accomplished one of my goals, to be close to Ivy. Now it’s up to nature to play our fate. After some time of close contact, I’m sure Ivy will see me as her potential boyfriend.

  I snicker to myself at this thought. Ivy just frowns at me and asks what I’m snickering about. I shake my head and smile. I don’t want her to find out about my plan, so I gesture for her to get into the front seat, to sit right beside me, just the two of us, so we can chat and converse about random things as I drive us to Little Café. Just that thought alone sends a thrill down my spine.

  Oh, I can’t wait—

  What the hell? Where did Ashley come from?

  Out of nowhere, Ashley suddenly climbs into the front seat. I blink my eyes. I can’t believe this. I demand to know who’s invited her.

  I’m about to yell at her to leave when Ivy opens the back door and steps in. All of a sudden, Carina and Stacy come rushing in too.

  What? Where did all these girls come from? I didn’t invite any of them.

  I don’t want to ruin my good mood, so I turn my attention to Ivy. She looks like she’s having trouble with her seatbelt.

  No amount of tackling can get my old car to release her belt to you, Ivy.

  I smile warmly up at her and ask through the opened door, “Want some help? My car can be a little stubborn sometimes.”

  “No. It’s fine. I can do it myself,” she grumbles while tackling her seatbelt again.

  Why did she have to choose that particular seat? That seatbelt will not work until I give it a hard tug.

  Seeing how upset she is with her fruitless efforts, I feel sorry for her and help her.

  Actually, I want to see her try a bit more because she looks too cute, what with that determined look on her face, but instead, I heave in, invading her personal space. Yes, rule number one of being a friend: invade your friend’s personal space and you still won’t get told off.

  I’m right. Ivy doesn’t tell me off, but she does suck in her breath as I fumble with her belt.

  My old car still doesn’t budge when I tug at her to release the belt. I realize I’m spending a little too long trying to get the belt in place, and by the time I’ve completed my task, Ivy has her eyes closed.

  I look at her straight in the eyes; my nose is only a trace from touching hers. I smile and blow warm air onto her face, wanting her to wake up.

  Ivy must feel the air tickle her face because in the next second, her eyes flutter open.

  I’m caught off guard by her beautiful chestnuts irises. There won’t be a day I will stop looking at those beautiful eyes. I vow to myself right then that this is the girl I want to marry. No matter what obstacles are in our way or whether all hell breaks loose, she’s definitely the one for me.

  Ivy continues to fix her gaze on me too. I smile. “Hey. Just sit there for a bit. It won’t be long before we reach Little Café.”

  Her face blushes red and she nods. I love seeing her looking shy. I just want to pinch her cheeks and kiss them so they get redder.

  I only chuckle, though, and get into the front seat. Pressing my foot on the accelerator, I speed to Little Café, hoping for Ashley, Carina, and Stacy to stay silent. But I guess that’s too much to ask. When the car moves out, their voices boom out all at once. “Oh, Zac, you were amazing.”

  I know then that my plan of a peaceful ride will never reach fruition.

  Chapter 15

  IVY

  Girlfriends

  “Oh, Zac, you were amazing,” Ashley says, fluttering her arms like she’s about to swoon. Then I hear a thump on the front seat. I bet that must be her pretending to faint.

  “I love that song,” Stacy has to put in.

  “I agree,” Carina, who’s sitting next to me,
says.

  Carina is so absorbed with wanting to catch Zac’s attention in the rearview mirror that she’s squashing me against the car door. Now it’s digging into my hip.

  Oww.

  Why must I condemn myself to their company? And why are they constantly seeking Zac’s attention? Is he some kind of Greek god or something? Actually, speaking of that Greek god, shouldn’t he be the one to blame for my current condition? If he didn’t force me to go to Little Café and literally jam us all into his small car, then I would’ve been home by now.

  Thinking back on the event only makes my blood boil. I shouldn’t have believed him when he said he’d take me home. Instead, I ended up wedged into the school hall, watching him making eyes at Mandy while he was practicing with his band. And when he started singing that song… Oh, don’t get me started on this one. He practically sang it to every single girl in the hall. And here I thought we were friends. I trusted him. Now look! I’m the only one who’s suffering in this relationship.

  I give an unladylike grunt to show I’m displeased with this whole situation. Zac flicks a smile in my direction through the rearview mirror.

  Was that his apology? I’m not going to forgive him. I toss my head to look out at the passing scenery instead.

  Although my eyes are looking at the disappearing sheep, my mind drifts to another time already. I’m replaying Zac putting on my seatbelt for me.

  My heart was drumming so loud and fast my ears were ringing. In fact, they were so hypersensitive that I could make out Carina and Stacy whispering as to why Zac would put on my seatbelt for me.

  I didn’t quite understand it either, now that I’ve the time to retrospectively review the event. Why would he go to so much trouble for me?

  Aaghh. Why am I even questioning these things anyway? It’s not going to make any difference to the situation I’m in now. I’m still wedged like a pancake. No amount of shifting will change that fact.

  And when are we going to arrive? My hip is hurting like crazy.

  “Zac, that song you sang was amazing,” Stacy comments again, drawing me out of my raging thoughts.

  “I know, right? Who did you sing it to?” Carina asks.

  “Were you singing to one of us, Zac? You kept on staring in our direction?” Ashley probes.

  Zac coughs, and I look up and our eyes accidently catch in the rearview mirror. Zac gives me a smug look and a dashing grin.

  Don’t even pretend to be nice. If my hip is still sore tomorrow, you’re in big trouble.

  I give him one of my cold glares as an answer. But he… Why is he still grinning back at me? Don’t you know I’m mad with you, Zac? Stop that grinning at once.

  Of course, Zac can’t hear my internal thoughts. He continues to give me his dashing grin. This time I simply ignore him and turn my attention to the passing scenery again.

  I really don’t like eavesdropping on people’s conversations. That’s not one of my normal traits, but because we’re jammed in here like sardines, any conversation they speak ultimately gets transferred into my ears. And now I can’t help but pry.

  “Come on, Zac, tell us,” Ashley asks again when he doesn’t reply.

  “Maybe.” I hear Zac chuckling as if he finds their conversation funny.

  But the girls don’t seem to find it humorous at all. From the look on Carina’s face, she looks pretty serious to me.

  “Oh, Zac, really?” she asks, her tone increasing an extra notch.

  “Could it be me? Did you sing it to me?” Stacy, on Carina’s other side, starts hopping in her seat.

  “Of course not. He was singing to me,” Carina argues.

  Those two keep on bickering with each other, and my head is about to burst with a headache.

  “Girls! Girls!” Ashley comes to my rescue. “Everyone knows the lead singer of Apollo will only go out with someone who’s refined and a top representative in the whole school. And wasn’t it true that in the lyrics, Zac sang it started with algebra and then a conversation about his dreams. I’ve taught Zac algebra. And we’ve talked about his dreams.”

  “Are you referring to yourself, Ashley?” Carina asks.

  “Yes, I am. Isn’t that right, Zac?” Ashley asks him sweetly.

  Really? Ashley taught Zac algebra too? I thought that was Mandy. I myself have taught him, but it was only for a few lessons, so that didn’t really count. My ears pry open again, wanting to listen to Zac’s response.

  “Girls.” Zac chuckles instead. “Please. You don’t have to take it too seriously.” At that split second, Zac’s eyes catch mine again. Why is he staring at me so intently? It’s making me nervous. “I was only joking,” he says and then turns back to look at the road.

  The girls slump back in their seats, slightly defeated. But somehow Ashley just doesn’t get the hint, so she probes for more information.

  “That’s no joke, Zac. I saw your eyes staring in our direction. Tell us. If it’s not me, then who were you staring at?”

  “Really?” Zac asks, enjoying his time taunting the girls. “I didn’t notice.”

  “Come on. Just give us a hint.” Carina is whining like a baby beside me.

  “Girls,” Zac drawls out again, followed by another chuckle. “Please. Let’s change the subject. Who’s going to get an ice chocolate? I’ve heard it’s very good.”

  “Don’t change the subject. We’re still talking about who you sang that song to.” Ashley tells Zac off sweetly.

  “I know. I know. You must have been looking at Mandy,” Stacy shouts out. Ashley turns to bore a hole straight through her.

  “What?” Ashley asks in her heated voice. “Why would Zac look at Mandy?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just assuming. I saw him staring in Mandy’s direction,” Stacy comments.

  What Stacy said catches my attention. Was Zac really singing that song to Mandy? Mandy stood beside me most of the time. I thought he was staring at me, but I may have been wrong. It kind of makes sense now when I think back to the lyrics. Mandy was also one of the few who taught Zac algebra lessons.

  Can it really be Mandy? Was Zac really singing that song to Mandy?

  “No, I wasn’t looking at Mandy.” Zac blatantly refuses.

  Okay, that’s one hypothesis out the window, then.

  Who did Zac sing to? When I find myself pondering that question, I get pissed off with myself. Why am I getting into his business? This is none of my concern. I grimly resume my gaze out the window.

  “Then who were you looking at when you were singing?” Ashley asks.

  “Look, girls. You’re all analyzing the situation too deeply here. I was only practicing singing that song to my future girlfriend.”

  “Future girlfriend?” They all gape. And that includes me.

  Ashley, who can’t seem to contain her excitement with this news, pounds Zac again with her hypothesis. “So what you’re saying is you don’t have a girlfriend yet. And you were looking at us to decide which girl you would like to be your future girlfriend.”

  “Oh my God, Zac’s future girlfriend might be one of us,” Carina screeches in my ears, dancing around happily in her seat. She must think I’m invisible, because she doesn’t care at all when her elbow keeps on jabbing into my side. This makes me really mad. I glare at her, but all she does is ignore me and turn to speak to Zac instead.

  “Zac, tell us. What type of girl do you like?”

  “Mmmm. Let’s see.” I hear Zac tapping his steering wheel. “I don’t know. Better ask Ivy. She would know what type of girl I like.”

  I jump. I didn’t expect that. The girls turn to me, as if finally realizing I actually exist.

  All their eyes are focused on me, including Zac’s via the rearview mirror. I’m not used to getting all this attention. I’m not sure why they included me in their conversation anyway. So instead of answering them, I just make my presence known.

  “Yes,” I say to Zac.

  “Tell the girls here what kind of girls I’m into,” he repeat
s.

  “I don’t know.” I tell them the truth.

  “Ivy, I think you do know what type of girl I like. Tell them.”

  I gape at him. “I told you I don’t know. Ask yourself.”

  Seriously, he’s asking me what type of girl he likes? It’s not like we’ve been friends that long. It’s only been a week.

  “Zac, tell me. Otherwise, I can’t sleep. I can’t eat and I can’t think,” Ashley says.

  Wait. That sounds like the lyrics of Zac’s new song. By now my interest is piqued once again.

  “Look, I’m sorry my eyes kept glancing at you girls, but it’s seriously not any of you. Don’t feel bad. It’s just a song I practiced. I want to sing it to this girl when she becomes my girlfriend.”

  “Still. I’ll wait to see who this particular girl is,” Ashley comments. “And then I’ll cry my heart out.”

  “I’m sorry.” Zac chuckles, then gazes at me again. Why is he staring at me so much? Even when he was singing that song, he was staring in my direction.

  “Ivy?”

  I glare at him. What now? Why is he so persistent? It’s none of my concern if he chooses one of them to be his girlfriend.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I say, turning my face from the rearview mirror.

  Zac only shakes his head and gives another of his dashing smiles. The rest of the ride goes smoothly, with the girls changing subjects to what type of coffee they’re going to buy when they reach Little Café.

  When we arrive, I’m thankful I’m reunited with Mandy. We go to a little booth and sit ourselves down. Not a minute later, a guy with a red beanie and a Polaroid camera in his hand walks to our table. I look up at him with a questioning gaze.

  “So you’re Ivy?” He speaks to me in his Australian twang.

  I remember him playing on the electric guitar when Zac was performing his song. I conclude that he’s one of Zac’s band mates.

  “Yes,” I reply.