by J. P. Comeau
Not older men, though.
I’d stay on an older man’s hook as long as he wanted me there.
“All right. We’re here,” Clint said.
I leaned up, brushing my breast against his arm. “Ready to have your way with me?”
He chuckled. “Why don’t we get you upstairs first? I’ve had my fill of car sex.”
I licked my lips. “Sounds like it might be a fun birthday night after all.”
He winked at me before he slipped out, then he came around to open my door. Clint helped me out of the car before scooping me back into his arms, and I felt my body grow weightless. I liked him carrying me this way. I got to curl against him and rest my cheek on his shoulder. I got to feel his heart beating against my body as we traveled up the elevator. He carried me across the threshold of his studio apartment and laid me down onto his bed. And as I propped myself up, I shimmied my breasts at him.
“Care to come take a peak?” I asked.
And when his eyes met mine, I knew I had him right where I wanted him.
Clint
I underestimated how good she’d look in my bed. Her breasts swayed effortlessly, beckoning for me to touch. Her legs crossed like some innocent girl when we all knew just how ravenous Roxy was for the opposite sex. Her cheeks were still flushed. Her hands curled into my bedsheets. I wanted nothing more than to use some of my toys on her. To show her exactly what I kept underneath my bed and away from people’s view.
She’s your employee. And she’s drunk. Don’t do this.
I sighed. “You’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep here.”
She blinked. “Come again?”
I stood up, putting distance between us. “I can’t mix business with pleasure, Roxy. You know this. But, if you’re here, I can make sure you--.”
She sat up. “Are you kidding me right now?”
I paused. “No.”
“So, what the hell was all of that winking and hand-holding and shit in the car? Huh?”
“I mean, it was--.”
“And what about coming to my aid in the casino? Yeah? When everyone started jumping down my throat?”
“Roxy, you’re drunk. You need t--.”
She started raising her voice. “I mean, is everyone in your family just like Zane? Some fucking moody and unpredictable bastard from hell?”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Roxy.”
She slid off my bed. “Well, I’m not having any of it. And I’m sure as hell not staying here if I’m not welcome.”
“Roxy, you really need to stay put. You’re--.”
“I’m fine. I can get a cab and go home.”
“I’d really feel better if someone were watching over you.”
She glared up at me. “Yeah, and I’d feel better with a dick between my legs. But, we all know how this night’s going to end, and it’s not in my favor.”
At any other moment in time, I would’ve slammed her against the wall and claimed that foul mouth as my own. If it had been any other woman in any other scenario, I’d already have her tied down to my bed with a vibrating wand between her legs just so I could watch her orgasm while I shed my suit. But, this wasn’t just any girl, and this wasn’t just any scenario.
This was Roxy. My employee. A woman who was growing into a dear friend.
And the last thing I needed to do was fuck that up.
“I know you’re upset. But, you’ve had too much alcohol. Look at you. You can hardly walk in your heels.”
She slid out of her heels. “Fine. Whatever. Tell yourself whatever you need to in order to make yourself feel better. But I’m outta here.”
“Roxy, wait!”
She stumbled over to my door and ripped it open before spilling out into the hallway. I rushed for the door and watched her jog for the elevator; her heels gripped tightly in her hands. Everything inside me wanted to go after her. I wanted to scoop her up, swing her over my shoulder, and spank that ass for ever having dared run away from me. But, as she slipped into the elevator and turned around, I saw the hurt on her face.
You always hurt them, Clint.
“I hate you!” she yelled.
I saw a tear streak her cheek just before the elevator doors closed. But, even the doors didn’t mute the hysteria in her voice.
“I wish you wouldn’t have even come to the casino!”
I backtracked down the hallway and raced down the back stairwell. I jumped from level to level, launching myself over the railing and dropping onto the concrete slabs beneath me. I slammed through the ground level door just as the elevator doors dinged to my left. I pressed myself into a corner, watching as a murmuring Roxy tore through the front lobby. People stared after her like she was crazy, and I still wanted to drag her back into my apartment. Damn it, how I wanted this woman to stay just one night with me.
But, I knew seeing her Monday morning wasn’t going to be fun. So, there was no need to make anything worse.
Still, I followed her outside. I stood in the shadows, watching, and waiting, and making sure she flagged down a cab driver that didn’t look too suspicious. I perched in a corner and drew in silent breaths, watching as Roxy wiped away tears from her face.
It broke my heart that I had made her cry. However, I also knew I’d made the right decision. There was a reason why officers weren’t allowed to fraternize with those enlisted below them in the Navy. And there was a reason why I didn’t allow my bodyguards to screw around with Roxy, or Angela, or any of the other girls I employed at my business.
Things like that never turned out well. Favoritism always reared its head. And there was always a broken heart in the mix, no matter what people did to prevent them.
“I’m sorry, Roxy,” I murmured to myself.
Then, I watched her fall into the backseat of a cab and drive off. She was drunk, crying, and angry.
Way to treat the birthday girl, asshole.
10
Clint
Monday couldn’t have come around soon enough, because all I did for the rest of the weekend was lay around and feel sorry for myself. Oh, and I desperately tried not to think about Roxy. Every single part of me wanted to call her and see how she was feeling. Every single part of me wanted to send her flowers, or have her favorite foods delivered. A small part of me even wanted to show up with a bottle of wine at her doorstep. I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t know where she lived, or her phone number. I had her contact information on my work phone for emergency purposes. And while I knew this wasn’t exactly a work emergency, it felt urgent nonetheless.
Still, I resisted the urge.
I mean, thinking about Roxy was much better than thinking about the fucking military. But, in my mind? It was close to the same red flag ‘danger’ warning. The second I heard my alarm blaring at five in the morning, I leaped up from the couch. I stretched my arms over my head and bent forward, feeling my back pop into place. I’d been up for an hour already, not that sleep was kind to me in the first place. If I wasn’t thinking about Roxy while I was awake, she haunted my dreams while I slept.
She and those wondrous curves of hers taunted me over and over.
I cracked my neck and stretched my arms across my chest. A good morning workout before a cool shower would do me some good. I changed into some shorts and a raggedy t-shirt before slipping into my tennis shoes, then I started out the front door.
But, during my entire run, all I thought about were the tears in Roxy’s voice.
“You’re an idiot,” I hissed.
I started out with a brisk jog for a few blocks. But, the voice in my head kept pushing me forward. Faster and faster I ran until my legs burned and my lungs heaved. It still wasn’t enough to outrun Roxy’s sorrow, though. It wasn’t enough to wipe away the memory of those tears in her eyes. Breathing air through my nose as I turned sharp corners wasn’t enough to wash away the lovely scent of her perfume, and the wind whipping around my body wasn’t enough to rid my mind of the warmth of her body sitting next to
me.
“Come on,” I growled.
I leaned forward as sweat dripped down my back. I felt my shirt clinging to me, chafing my damn nipples as I sprinted across the road. Horns honked, and I flipped them off before continuing on my jog, heading back to my apartment so I could get ready for work. And the second I stepped into the cool stream of water in my shower, I began shivering.
I didn’t get any reprieve, though.
It was as if Roxy’s memory was determined to sink me.
You’ve got this. You can do this. You’ve been to war, for fuck’s sake.
If I could block out those horrid memories, I could surely block out the memory of her. As I dried myself off and got ready for work, though, my brain proved me wrong. It was as if I had posed a challenge to my own body, and it was determined to show me up.
So, this is what my stubbornness feels like.
I refused to cave, though. I refused to tap out. I gathered my things and made my way down to my car, preferring a more professional ride into work over my Harley. I cruised on into the office and took the back entrance just so I wouldn't have to run into Roxy at the front desk entrance. I rushed up the stairs and jogged down the hallway, not stopping until I was safely behind the closed--and locked--door of my office.
But, I knew damn good and well I wanted to see her too badly to stay there all day.
“All right. Distraction time,” I whispered.
I walked over to my desk and powered on my computer. I saw a stack of files on my desk already that required my signatures, so I plucked a pen from the cup holder on my desk. I didn’t sit down, though. Instead, I picked up every file and paced my office, reading over the information before signing off on it. I chewed on the tip of my pens and scratched my name onto dotted lines, completely forgetting about the fact that I had logged into the official system that connected everyone in the building together.
And when my laptop began ringing up a storm, I rushed over to it.
“Come on, are you kidding me?” I murmured.
I set the files down and wiggled my hips as I hunched over the keyboard. I chased the warning signal around, trying to figure out why the hell the system was acting as if it had an intruder. I checked the log-in files to see if there were any unauthorized code usages, but there weren’t any. I checked the backlogs to make sure no one was trying to hack into our network, but I didn’t see anything worth any sort of concern. Then, I found it—the reason for the warning sounds.
“What the--?”
I squinted my eyes as I clicked on Roxy’s name. And sure enough, she had typed her password in wrong on four separate occasions. Now, that woman knew damned good and well that she couldn't enter a wrong password that many times before it signaled--.
Oh.
I shook my head as my fingers stroked against the keys on my keyboard. I got the dinging to stop and reset her attempts at her password, then turned my attention back to the files at hand. If she thought she could get my attention that way, she had another thing coming. If she wanted me, she could come up to my office.
Says the man who took the back stairwell.
“Fuck off,” I hissed to myself.
I finally sat down in my chair for the first time since getting into the office, but I couldn't sit still. I kept cocking from one hip to the other. I kept crossing and uncrossing my legs. I picked up files before placing them down, and I found myself staring at the same information over and over again.
Then, that damn warning dinging sound started going off again.
“What now?” I growled.
It didn’t take me long to click through and realize what happened. Roxy had typed her password in wrong again one too many times. I shook my head as I navigated away from the interface and pulled up the front desk cameras, just to make sure nothing hinky was going on upfront. As the camera screen started loading, all sorts of horrid things rushed through my mind. Maybe someone was holding her hostage, and this was her way of contacting me. Maybe someone was threatening her, and she was trying to signal something to me.
But, when the camera feed finally loaded, I saw Roxy by herself, sitting at her desk, staring right at the camera that faced her from the front door.
Then, she held up her middle finger.
I chuckled to myself before I swallowed the sound down. I clicked away from the camera feed and pulled up my company’s system interface again before resetting her password attempts. Then, I kicked the number of password attempts up the highest it would go, all the way to nine hundred and ninety-nine.
“See how busy that keeps you,” I murmured.
I leaned back in my chair and sighed. I started chewing on the bed of my nail before I realized how much I was fidgeting around. I had to get to work. I had to focus on something. I strummed my fingers against my desk before I picked up another file. I signed at the bottom after speed-reading through the material, then moved to my computer to check my email. I rolled around my office in my rolling leather chair, spinning around and trying to disorient myself.
But, every time I gave myself a moment’s breath, her face appeared in the back of my mind.
Come on, Clint. You’re being nuts. Knock it the hell off.
I looked over at my phone before I plucked it from the receiver. I pressed the number six on the dial pad before the phone started ringing in my ear. I reclined back in my chair as I gazed up at the ceiling, propping my feet up on my desk.
“Come on, pick up,” I whispered.
Then, I heard her voice. “Clint?”
I smiled. “Hey, Mom.”
“Clint! What in the world are you doing calling on your lunch break?”
I blinked. “My what?”
She giggled. “Your lunch break. It’s a bit past noon. Or, are you working too much to notice?”
More light daydreaming too much. “Can’t a man call his mom and say, hey?”
“I’m just saying you usually have a routine you stick to. And you don’t deviate much.”
“Well, I’m deviating today. Plus, I think I left my wallet in the car.”
“You did what?”
I started patting myself down. “Yeah, my wallet’s still in my car. So, I haven’t ordered food yet.”
“Are you okay, Clint? That’s not like you?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just a Monday, that’s all.”
She paused. “You want to give that one more try?”
I chuckled. “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”
“Says the eldest son who keeps to himself and never calls unless he’s got something on his mind.”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“You’re my son. You’ll always be that easy to read to me.”
I smiled. “Thanks for talking to me, Mom.”
“Don’t know what I did, but it’s always good to hear your voice.”
“Yours, too.”
“Sure, there’s nothing you want to talk about?”
I slid my feet off my desk. “I’m sure, Mom. Thanks, though.”
“Well, if you change your mind, I’m only a phone call away.”
“Love you, too.”
We blew each other kisses through the phone. Then I dropped it back down into the receiver. I stood up from my desk and patted my pockets down one more time before I looked over at my office door. Damn it, how the hell did I forget my wallet? I never forgot my wallet.
Roxy.
“Jesus,” I growled.
I stormed out of my office and backed down the stairwell. It poured me out into the parking garage, where I unlocked my car and rummaged around. I finally found it underneath the driver’s seat, almost as if I’d never slipped it into my pocket in the first damn place. And after digging it out, I headed back up the stairwell.
Then it dawned on me yet again that it was my lunch break.
“I could just go somewhere for lunch,” I said to myself.
I paused, midway up the stairs to my office, and sighed.
“Or, I coul
d order something. Have it delivered. I never have lunch delivered, though. People might think something’s wrong. But, if I go out, I might run into Roxy. What if she goes to the diner I usually go to? I could pick something up. Call the order in and drive through to get it. Then, I could park and sit in my car to eat. But, what if someone catches me? They might think--.”
You’re going crazy. Cut it out.
I leaned against the concrete wall and heaved a heavy sigh. I had finally snapped. At least, it felt like it. I was actually debating with myself in a stairwell, talking out loud, as if someone else were here. I’d never felt so fucked up in all my life, and I had survived seven different war zone areas. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes to try and clear my mind. But, all it did was give me more black space to envision Roxy, in that cute little outfit.
With that cute little tipsy stare in her eyes.
“I can’t wait until today is over,” I whispered.
I finally decided to just order food and have it delivered. Because that option was much better than having to face the world and possibly run into Roxy. I knew she was upset with me, and rightfully so. But, we didn’t need to be causing any more of a scene in a professional atmosphere. I leaped up the rest of the stairs, taking them three at a time until I got to the top floor. Then, with sweat dripping down my back, I strode down the hallway until I found myself within the safe confines of my office.
It was right before that damn warning sound blared from the speakers of my computer.
“What now!?” I roared.
I heard doors slamming in the distance as my voice ricocheted around the room. I stormed over to my computer and fell into my chair, wiggling the mouse on its pad. I clicked through multiple avenues before tracking down the source of the warning. And damn it, if it wasn’t Roxy’s desk again. With those fucking failed attempts at her password.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine times.
“You’ve got determination. I’ll give you that,” I murmured.
And even though I sent out a form for her to reset her password, it didn’t stop a grin from spreading across my face.
