Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2)

by Heather MacKinnon

  Cool it, Remy. It’s just a text.

  Knowing I was being watched, I took a deep but discreet breath before I clicked on her message.

  Belle: Thanks for the offer, but I’m going to be home late. I have a date tonight.

  That breath came whooshing out of me quicker than it had gone in. I read her text a second time, and then a third, but it wasn’t changing. It still said what I thought it said.

  I have a date tonight.

  She had a date. With another guy. Tonight.

  I set my phone down slowly and clasped my hands in my lap as I tried to regain my equilibrium. The girl I couldn’t get out of my head, the one I thought might have been on the same page, however reluctantly, was going on a date with another man.

  Apparently, I’d read the whole situation wrong. She wasn’t as hung up as I was. I’d been delusional thinking a girl like Belle would break her rules for me.

  I slumped even lower on the couch and stared blankly ahead as I tried to get my breathing to return to normal.

  “Bad news, Rem?”

  I turned slowly to face Gramps, deciding in that instant to just tell him the truth. What did it matter now, anyway?

  “She’s going on a date tonight,” I said, the words tasting terrible on their way out.

  Gramps nodded slowly, his mouth set in a grim line. Finally, he sighed. “Well, Son, you’ve got two options now. You either try harder, or you let her go. Which one can you live with?”

  I thought through his question for a long time. All throughout the rest of my stay with him and on the drive back to Providence his words rang in my head.

  Which one can you live with?

  I wasn’t sure of the answer, but I had a feeling I’d find out soon.

  Chapter 13

  Belle

  “Then there was this one time we went sailing down in Newport and I lost my boat shoes overboard.”

  “Oh, no. Not your boat shoes,” I deadpanned.

  He nodded seriously. “They were my favorite pair of Sperry’s.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes so bad, but the restaurant wasn’t nearly dim enough for that. My date, Benedict, hadn’t stopped talking about his rich upbringing and his sailboat since we’d sat down hours ago.

  “Sorry to hear that, Ben.”

  His brows furrowed. “It’s Benedict.”

  My eyes. They were actually watering with how bad they wanted to roll. “Sorry. Benedict.”

  He smiled, and I pulled my lips into a thin grin. Apparently, they don’t teach you sarcasm at the Newport Country Club.

  “Anyway, once we docked the boat, I had to walk all the way back to the Lincoln barefoot. It was mortifying.”

  “You drive a Lincoln?”

  Not that I cared, I just wanted to hear my own voice for a change. I’d almost forgotten what it sounded like underneath Benedict’s nasally drone.

  He chortled and shook his head. “Of course not. That was my parents’ driver. I own a Rolls Royce.”

  “Of course you do,” I deadpanned again. Not that it seemed to matter to insanely-expensive-luxury-car-driving Benedict.

  This had been one of the longest dates of my life. Between Benedict’s constant talking and the stuffy French restaurant he’d picked out, I was ready to call it a night.

  Despite my best efforts, my mind hadn’t stopped circling back to Remy. He’d never responded to my text, and that bothered me more than I cared to admit. I didn’t know what I expected him to say even if he had written back. It’s not like I thought he’d be happy I was on a date. But I guess I just expected something.

  Chinese food on my couch with him would have been a much better use of my night.

  Unfortunately, I’d thought going out with some asshat would get my mind off Remy and it was doing the opposite. All I could focus on were ways the two men differed. How Benedict flaunted his wealth while Remy barely acknowledged his. How Benedict just talked about himself when Remy always made an effort to ask me questions.

  They were like night and day and I was ready to go home to the one who didn’t make me want to shove a fork in my eye.

  I knew that said something about me, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge or face it.

  The waitress waltzed over and I almost kissed her.

  “How are things going here? Can I get you two a dessert menu?”

  Benedict opened his mouth to answer, but I beat him to it. “Thanks, we’ll just take the check.”

  The waitress handed over the leather book with our bill inside and disappeared again. I opened it up and my eyes almost crossed at the total. Now, I was no stranger to fancy restaurants and high-priced meals, but jeez. You’d think the place was giving away ponies with their doggy bags with the way they charged.

  I pulled out my wallet as I tried to calculate in my head how much half the bill would be and what I’d have to sacrifice this week to pay for it.

  “Oh, you’re picking up the check? Thanks, Bella.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m only paying for half and my name is Belle.”

  His cheeks darkened with a blush as he sputtered out an apology, but I didn’t want to hear it. I was all about feminism and splitting things down the middle, but you don’t drag a girl to a restaurant this pricey and then think she’s going to foot the bill. Who did this guy think he was?

  Besides, after all the Newport and yacht and Rolls Royce talk, I figured this bonehead would have been all too happy to pull out his black Amex and pick up the whole tab. But I guess he just liked talking about his money and not necessarily spending it.

  I didn’t care though. If it meant I got to end this date, I’d pay for the whole thing myself. Even if I had to sell a kidney to do it.

  The waitress came back to collect our credit cards, and the table fell silent for the first time all night. Of course, that didn’t last long.

  “I’ve had a really nice time, Belle. I’m hoping you’ll let me escort you back to my loft for a drink.”

  I almost laughed in his face, but just barely held my composure. “Sorry, Benny. I can’t.”

  “It’s Benedict,” he said between gritted teeth.

  I shrugged as the waitress appeared again to drop off our cards. With my Uber on its way and my signature scrawled at the bottom of the receipt, I stood from the table.

  “Have a good night, Benedict.”

  He frowned as he stuffed his card back in his leather wallet. “Can I call you? Maybe we can do this again next weekend.”

  “I’m busy next weekend.”

  “Okay, how about the weekend after that?”

  I sighed. Clearly, he wasn’t getting the message, and I’d have to spell this out for him. “This was… nice, but I’m not interested. Bye, Ben.”

  Without waiting for him to correct me again, I slipped out of the restaurant just as my Uber was pulling up to the curb. The driver’s tip just jumped from twenty percent to fifty.

  I confirmed my address with him before I sat back in the leather seat and pulled out my phone. My fingers itched to text Remy, but what would I say? And more importantly, would he even want to hear from me? I had a feeling he was upset I’d gone on a date and I didn’t know how to feel or what to do about it.

  I wasn’t in a relationship with him. He had no claim over me. Just because we lived together didn’t mean anything. Sure, I knew he was still interested, and I couldn’t deny that I was too, but that didn’t matter. Hooking up with Remy again would be a monumental mistake. Not only would that make the lines between us blur further, it might give him the impression that this could be more, when it couldn’t.

  So, where did that leave me?

  Did that mean I wasn’t supposed to date until he moved out of my apartment? Or was I just supposed to lie about it?

  To tell the truth, after the disaster the date had been, I wasn’t in a hurry to try again. I knew not everyone on my dating app would be like Benedict, but I also knew none of them were the man I actually wanted.

  I sh
ook my head and fisted my hands in my lap. I needed to be stronger if I was going to get through these two months with him. I’d set those rules for a reason and they’d served me well for eighteen years. There was no reason to throw them out now.

  I couldn’t help how I felt, but emotions were fickle. They didn’t last, and they weren’t reliable. Rules were. As long as I kept following them, I’d be fine.

  The Uber pulled up to the house, and I saw that the lights were still on in my apartment. With a harsh swallow, I thanked the driver and headed up to the door.

  I had a feeling there was a confrontation brewing in there and I was not prepared to face it.

  Charlotte greeted me at the door as usual and I reached down to rub her head. I knew Remy was nearby, I just didn’t know where. Not wanting to go looking for him and speed up what I knew was coming, I pulled open the fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine.

  “You’re back.”

  I spun around to find Remy leaning against the doorframe between the living room and kitchen. He had his sleeves rolled up his tan arms, his tie loosened around his neck, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses on his face.

  Holy. Shit. My mouth actually watered as I took him in.

  “Hi,” I said, my voice sounding smaller than I’d intended.

  He walked further into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter before pulling a beer bottle to his lips. His eyes stayed on mine as he drank, and I watched helplessly as his throat bobbed. When he was done, he licked his lips, and I had to look away.

  “Did you have a nice time?”

  No. Not really.

  “Yeah, it was fine.”

  He chuckled darkly and took another sip of beer. “Fine? That sounds like fun.”

  I shrugged as I walked to the other side of the kitchen and grabbed a wine glass. My back was turned to him while I filled it and I took those few moments to compose myself.

  “Where’d he take you?”

  I sighed and spun around to face him again. “Why do you want to know?”

  He shrugged. “Just curious. Can’t I ask my roommate about her date?”

  I pursed my lips and watched him for a moment. If I’d had to guess, that wasn’t his first Blue Moon of the night. I wondered how many he’d had and how affected he was by them.

  “It was just some French restaurant downtown.”

  He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving me. “La Rouge?”

  “Yeah, actually.”

  He shook his head and drained the rest of his beer. “That place is overpriced, and the food is shit.”

  He wasn’t wrong.

  “I didn’t expect you to still be up,” I said, deciding to go on the offense instead of defense.

  He slid off the countertop and crossed the kitchen toward me. When he was only a foot away, he stopped and reached around me to set his beer bottle next to the sink. “I was waiting for you.”

  “Why?” I asked, my voice soft.

  He shrugged again. “Wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

  My heart picked up its pace instantly. I fisted my hands to stop myself from reaching out for him, but he was so close. Just inches away. He still smelled so good and those damn glasses were so sexy, it was all I could do to stay still.

  “Are you going to see him again?” he asked, his voice low and gruff.

  My head screamed for me to lie. To tell him I was and end this moment between us, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. “No.”

  Remy took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling so close to mine. “Why?”

  I shrugged, my eyes still locked on his.

  Because I don’t want to.

  Because I didn’t like him.

  Because he wasn’t you.

  “Because I don’t do second dates.”

  His chocolate brown eyes shuttered the second those words were out of my mouth. He shook his head and took a step back. “That’s right. I almost forgot. Belle Garcia is a one and done kind of girl.” He shook his head, eyes narrowing in my direction. “Did you sneak out of his bed too?”

  My jaw fell open at his insinuation. “No. I didn’t. I don’t sleep with everyone I date.”

  “Then I was just special, huh?”

  I pressed my lips together hard, willing the words on the tip of my tongue to stay where they were. I didn’t owe Remy any kind of explanation.

  He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair and judging by its state, it wasn’t the first time tonight. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that.”

  Not likely.

  He let out a deep breath and looked away. “I’m going to bed before I say anything else stupid.”

  I stood there silently as he walked away, his shoulders hunched and his steps slow. My heart clenched watching him, but I stayed where I was. I didn’t owe him anything, and he’d been the one insulting me.

  I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring or what the consequences of this conversation would be, and I wasn’t at all excited to find out.

  Remy

  “Fuck,” I growled to my empty room.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I dug both hands into my hair, tugging on the ends, hoping I’d dislodge a brain cell or two because it was clear I was sorely missing them.

  Why had I said that to her?

  What was wrong with me?

  She didn’t owe me anything. She wasn’t mine. I had no right to question her like that or insinuate what I had.

  I just couldn’t help myself.

  Those words had been glaring at me for hours, driving me out of my mind and filling my head with images I couldn’t handle.

  I have a date tonight.

  Five words was all it took to completely undo me.

  I tugged at my hair once more before letting my arms drop to my sides. I needed to get my act together, or this was going to be an awkward-ass two months.

  With a sigh, I plopped onto the edge of my bed and buried my face in my hands.

  I’d had Ryder help me bring down my bedframe and mattress earlier, thankfully. I didn’t think my back could take another night on that air mattress. I looked to the corner of the room where I’d folded it up with the intention of giving it back to Belle.

  It reminded me of how thoughtful she could be, which only made this situation harder. If she was clearly uninterested in me, I’d be able to shove thoughts of her aside. If she acted unaffected, I’d be able to let her go, but she wasn’t. She reacted to me as strongly as I did to her. I knew it. I saw it. I felt it.

  It was what kept her on my mind. What kept my heart racing whenever she was nearby. But I had to be realistic with myself. Just because she was nice and attracted to me didn’t mean this thing between us would go any further. Lust was lust. It couldn’t fabricate a relationship out of nothing.

  Belle told me, and I hadn’t wanted to listen, but I thought it was time to. She didn’t want a relationship. Not with me, not with anyone. I needed to get over this infatuation and accept that she’d never be mine.

  She could be my roommate and, hopefully, one day my friend, but she’d never be mine. I needed to be okay with that. And I needed to let the rest of it go.

  Gramps had asked me what I could live with and I thought I’d had a choice in the matter, but it was clear I didn’t. From here on out, I’d let her go. Hopefully I hadn’t screwed things up so badly that we couldn’t still be friends.

  I vowed that, starting tomorrow morning, I’d do everything I could to prove to her that I just wanted to be friends. That she could relax around me and I wouldn’t keep pushing her. It wasn’t fair to Belle and, honestly, I couldn’t take much more of this anyway.

  With my mind made up, I stripped down to my boxers and let my beer-soaked brain relax. I’d turn this all around and put tonight behind me for good.

  Chapter 14

  Belle

  Sleep didn’t come easily for me that night, but for a completely different reason. Instead of staying up for hours trying to find a date, I stayed up regretting I’d g
one on the damn date to begin with. Which led me to resent Remy for making me feel that way. Then I’d think about how deflated he’d looked walking away from me and I’d begin regretting the date again. It was an endless cycle that kept me up way past my bedtime.

  Thankfully though, I didn’t sleep through my alarms again, I was just tired as fuck. With a groan, I crawled out of bed and stumbled through my dark room toward the door. I grabbed the knob but stopped myself at the last second. Placing my ear against the door, I tried to hear if Remy was up, but the wood was too thick.

  With a deep breath, I cracked open the door and peered into the kitchen. It was blessedly empty, so I skittered across the room and into the equally vacant bathroom. I was two for two this morning and feeling better about my chances of getting out of this apartment without having to see him.

  I took my time in the shower, letting the hot water wake me up and hopefully drain the tensions from my muscles. I still had a shit ton of work to do and only a week and a half until the opening night of this new show. My A game was more necessary than ever.

  Once out of the shower, I dried off and pulled on my bathrobe before brushing my teeth and blow drying my hair. Not wanting to tempt fate any further, I crept out of the bathroom and made it to my room unhindered once again.

  While curling a long lock of my honey-brown hair around the hot iron, I heard a door open and close somewhere in the apartment and froze in my seat. My heart beat in my ears as I strained to hear more. Clearly, Remy was up and that meant I needed to move faster. Hopefully he was using the bathroom, and I’d be able to sneak out while he was still in there.

  I finished my hair and checked my make-up once more before grabbing my purse off the desk chair. With a quick listen at the door, I cracked it open again and peeked through.

  “Morning, Belle.”

  I froze again, my heart stopping for a hot second before starting up again faster than before. Damn it, I’d been caught.