Heart of the Wolf: A Wolfguard Protectors Novel

by Kimber White

  His jaguar ripped out of him. He lunged at the car. Another quick burst of light. The shot took him square in the chest.

  His body contorted. His paws went up in the air as he fell to the ground. He froze, mid-shift. His legs stretched out, his tail wound around his waist. He kept his ears, but his human face remained.

  “Dragonsteel bullets?” I whispered. It had to be. It was the only thing that could kill a shifter like that.

  The Town Car backed up and sped away, leaving my uncle and aunt bleeding out onto the pavement.

  Payne reached across the table and closed the laptop. “I’m sorry,” he said. “We’ve identified the driver of the Town Car. Not the shooter. A few weeks after your aunt and uncle’s bodies were found, that tape was sent to us.”

  “Your confidential informant?” Erik asked.

  Payne nodded. “Yes,” he said. “He or she has been sending messages like this over the last two years. Not long after that, we were contacted by your uncle's lawyer. He left a note for you and instructions that every penny he had left was to be used to secure your safety. I was instructed to report back to your uncle’s representative as soon as I knew where you were.”

  I had no tears to cry. My uncle had held me at arm’s length my entire life. We were never close. I couldn’t imagine what had made him want to do this for me now.

  Payne slid a small envelope across the table.

  “My uncle’s letter?” I asked. He nodded.

  “We can give you some privacy,” Payne said, starting to rise.

  “No,” I said. “It...it doesn’t matter.”

  I opened the letter. I didn’t know what I expected to find. But, my uncle’s words were short. I quickly read them three times.

  “I’m sorry,” he wrote. “If you’re reading this I’m already gone. I didn’t know how to protect you and your sister. I failed your father in that regard. You should know, Sena is truly gone. Maybe you already knew. I blame myself for that too. Forgive me. I hope this brings you peace.”

  There was something else in the envelope. I turned it upside down. A small, ruby ring slid out and my heart caught in my throat.

  “This was Sena’s,” I said. “She...my father gave it to her when we were little. I had one too. Hers was a ruby. Mine was a sapphire. I lost mine years ago. But, she wore hers on her pinky finger.”

  “What does it mean?” Payne asked.

  “She’s dead,” I said, my tone flat, emotionless. “I mean, I already knew that. I felt it when it happened. But now...well...now I know for sure.”

  “I’m sorry,” Payne said. Erik sat still as granite beside me. I slipped the ruby ring on my own pinky. It was all I had left of Sena.

  “Well,” Payne said. “I wish I could bring you better news. But, you’re under our protection. I keep my word and my contracts. We can work out the logistics in time. For now, I have another meeting I need to take.”

  “Thank you,” I said, looking up. Payne gave me a grim-faced nod then excused himself, leaving Erik and me alone.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  The ruby ring shimmered in the light. I felt hollow inside.

  “She was mated against her will,” I said. “I told you I felt it when she died. Long before that happened, I felt what they did to her too. A wolf did that to her. I felt her struggling to break free of it.”

  A tremor went through Erik’s jaw.

  “That will never be me,” I said, locking my gaze with me. “Never.”

  “Nova,” he said. “That’s not what mating is supposed to be like. You know that, right?”

  “They kept my uncle under control by threatening his mate. I know that’s how they got to him. And my mother...she...she lost her mind and her will to live when my father died. When she lost her mate. It doesn’t matter. Don’t you see? Whether it’s done willingly, for love, or by force. Every one of them was weakened by their mating. That can never be me. Never.”

  Finally, the tears I’d been holding back started to flow. I squeezed my sister’s ring with my other hand, letting its sharp edges cut me.

  I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I felt suffocated. Trapped. Buried alive. Erik moved toward me. He lifted a hand, perhaps to fold it around me.

  I went rigid. Erik’s hand dropped. He slowly nodded, and the light went out of his eyes.

  “I’ll leave you alone then,” he said. “I won't be far.”

  My heart ripped in half as he turned his back and left the room.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Erik

  I convinced Nova to stay in one of the apartments we owned in the building on the fourteenth floor.

  “Just for tonight,” I said. “Tomorrow, we’ll figure out...something.”

  “What?” she asked. “What, Erik? What are we going to figure out? I was doing fine on my own. I should never have let you...catch me.”

  Her words stung, but I understood. She thought I brought chaos back into her life. I knew she brought it to mine.

  “You don’t have to be alone anymore,” I said. I swallowed the rest of my sentiment. I wanted to tell her I’d never leave her. Even if she didn’t want to lay eyes on me, I’d stay close. I’d stay away. But I would protect her with my life forever.

  “Your uncle’s contract with Wolfguard is unbreakable,” I said. There was just the tiniest flicker in Nova’s gaze. It tore at me.

  “You’ve done your job, Erik,” she said, her tone flat. “You got me here. I know what happened to my aunt and uncle. To my sister.”

  I stood near the doorway of the small apartment. Had I been closer to the wall, I might have smashed it in.

  “You’re not just some job,” I said. Rage rumbled through me. I wanted to touch her, pull her against me, crush my lips to hers. I wanted to bite.

  I couldn’t say the rest of what I meant. Hell, I could barely admit it to myself. She wasn’t just some job. She was...mine.

  “I don't’ need your protection,” she said.

  “Yes, you do!” I spat. “You said it yourself. You’re all alone. They got to your sister. They got to your uncle. They’re still coming after you and this job isn’t finished. We’ve set the bait. Those wolves or whoever the Ring has sent after you, they’re coming back. It’s only a matter of time. And when they do, I plan on being right there. They will never do to you what they did to your sister. I swear it on my life.”

  She worked the muscles of her throat. I could feel the rising heat coming off her.

  “Don’t,” she said. “Don’t make me any vows. I appreciate what you and Payne have done for me. But, I’m not your problem.”

  “Not my problem? Not my problem?” The last bit came out as a growl. Try as I might, I couldn't fully contain my wolf. Like her, I was starting to hate this building. I liked it better when we had the woods around us.

  I stormed toward her. Nova let out a little gasp that sent heat searing through me. Color rose in her cheeks.

  “You, Nova Grey,” I said. “Are a hell of a lot more than my problem.”

  I wanted to say it. I wanted to make it real. She was my mate. I’d tried to deny it for weeks. But, my need for her burned through me. Dammit if I couldn’t feel it burning through her too.

  “Erik,” she said, finding more calm than I could. “I’m letting you off the hook. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m not...look. I know there’s something between us. Of course I feel it too. It’s just...it’s not real. We can’t let it be. I will never take a mate. I will not be vulnerable or used like my sister was. Like my uncle was. My parents. I don’t want that for myself. And you. I know you don’t want it either. I can tell.”

  I took a step back as if her words had a punch. They did. I’d never told her about Irina. Yet, somehow, it was as if she already knew.

  “I honor my commitments,” I said. “And I told you, this isn’t over. We’ve set things in motion. When that pack comes back, and mark my word they will, I’ll be ready for them. We will be ready for that. And y
ou’ll never have to live in fear again.”

  She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Who did you lose, Erik?” she asked. “Tell me the truth. Your grief. It pours off you.”

  I moved past her, heading into the small sitting area in the center of the apartment. The place had just one bedroom down the hall and a kitchenette. Like the conference room above, the floor to ceiling windows offered a breathtaking view of downtown Salt Lake City.

  I sat down hard and worked my thumb into the palm of my opposite hand. Nova came to me, sitting beside me.

  “Erik,” she said. “I know a thing or two about regret. We’ve both let this get personal for different reasons. Whatever it is, you need to let it go.”

  I turned to stone. I could not...would not give in to emotions.

  “What was her name?” Nova pressed on. She put a light hand on my arm. Just that simple touch sent lust racing through me.

  “Did you love her?” she asked.

  “Irina,” I said. I hadn’t uttered her name aloud in over fifteen years.

  “Your mate?” she asked.

  I dropped my chin. “No,” I said. “I mean, I thought she was when we were very young. But no. She was...just…”

  “You loved her,” Nova said.

  Swallowing hard, I nodded. It was enough.

  “She died back in Russia,” I said. “When we were young. No. Not died. She was slaughtered.”

  Nova sat back. The color drained from her face. “Wolves,” she said. “A wolf pack did that.”

  I turned to her. How did she know? How could…

  “And you blame yourself,” she said.

  The stone around my heart cracked. No. I would not let this take me down. I had to focus. Irina was the past.

  “You should get some rest,” I said, rising. Nova reared back, shocked by the abruptness of my words, perhaps. I felt as though I’d slammed a door in her face. I suppose I had. “Erik,” she said. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  I froze, gripping the doorknob. Wasn’t my fault? “Good night,” I said. “I’ll be down the hall if you need anything. Tomorrow…”

  “What?” she said. “Tomorrow what?”

  I let out a breath. “Nova, I know you hate this. You’re not a prisoner. You know that, right? But, we’ve started something on your behalf and we need to see it through. In the meantime, you do need protection. Nobody is saying you’re not strong and that you can’t take care of yourself. But, you don’t understand what you’re dealing with. The Ring...you can’t.”

  She let out a scratching growl and her amber eyes glowed. “You don’t get that to say that to me,” she snapped. “My God, Erik. Did you actually just say that I don’t know what the Ring is capable of? I know what they are better than you do. You’ve had the luxury of oblivion. They’re not after Alpha males. They’re not trafficking in your kind. I've lived under the threat of what the Ring and those like them want to do to people like me.”

  “There’s no one like them!” I snapped.

  She shook her head and her face broke into a sad smile. “Don’t you get it? I’m a commodity to other jaguar shifters too. Sena and I were the last. There aren’t any other females that I know of. I told you, I won’t mate. I won’t be subservient like that.”

  I would never ask her to be subservient. The statement died on my lips though. Though my reasons were very different, I wasn’t looking for a mate either.

  We stared at each other for a moment. Then, I pursed my lips and left without saying goodbye.

  I made my way back up to the Wolfguard offices. It was late. Payne had left hours ago using the helipad on the roof. I didn’t expect to find anyone else here. But, my brother Edward waited for me in the conference room.

  He sat stretched out with his legs resting on the table. He sipped whiskey from a rocks glass. He put the bottle and another glass on the table. As I walked in, he reached for them and poured me a drink.

  “Did you get her settled?” Edward asked.

  I downed a shot then poured another. It felt good going down, helping to settle my wolf at least for now.

  “There’s nothing settled about that girl,” I said.

  “Yeah. I got that much.”

  Edward stared at me. I didn’t like the look in his eyes or his smirk.

  “What?” I said.

  “You know what.”

  “Save it,” I said.

  Edward poured himself another drink. I took a third. It was all I dared. Though the alcohol would quickly wear off...it takes a hell of a lot more than three shots of whiskey to truly affect an Alpha wolf like me…I didn’t want my senses dulled for very long with Nova three floors below.

  “Come on,” Edward said. “It’s obvious. Don’t tell me you haven’t figured it out yet, brother. I knew it two seconds after I saw you with her. She’s your fated mate, Erik.”

  I squeezed the glass so hard it shattered.

  “Son of a bitch,” I muttered. Blood welled in my palm, but the cut quickly healed.

  “Well?” Edward said. “What’s your plan?”

  “I have no plan,” I said. “Other than to find and kill whoever’s after her.”

  “Killing isn’t our objective,” he said. “At least, not if we don’t have to.”

  I growled and launched myself forward, going almost nose to nose with my brother. “If anyone tries to so much touch a hair on Nova’s head, then I will have to kill.”

  He kept his cool, letting out a whistle. “Well, this complicates things. What does Nova have to say about it?”

  I settled back into my chair. “Nothing. It’s a non-starter. Nothing’s going to happen.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen? Erik, she’s your mate. That’s not something you walk away from.”

  “I’m not walking away. I’m just not...we’re not…”

  “Not acting on it?” Edward finished my sentence for me. His eyes widened. Then, understanding seemed to dawn.

  “Irina,” he said. “Christ. This is about Irina. Do you think claiming your fated mate betrays her somehow? Erik, that’s nuts. And Irina wouldn’t want that for you anyway. I loved her too. Like a sister. But, what you and she had wasn’t going to last forever. You were young. It was puppy love. She wasn’t your mate and she knew that.”

  My fangs dropped. My vision clouded as my wolf rose to the surface. Edward’s own wolf stirred and he snapped back.

  “Don’t tell me what Irina was to me,” I said.

  “You forget,” he said. “I was there. She was an innocent victim in a war that had nothing to do with her. But, you didn’t kill her. It wasn’t your fault. We had no idea how far the Vadim pack was willing to take their war at that point. Not even Uncle Andre could have stopped what happened. Irina wasn’t a shifter or even a shifter’s mate. There was no warning. They broke a code going after her. You couldn’t have known.”

  “She was targeted because of her relationship to me,” I said. “I should have been more careful. I should have broken things off with her and sent her away long before.”

  “And she wouldn’t have gone,” Edward said. “You know that, right? She had the chance and she didn’t take it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Erik, Uncle Andre tried to pay Irina off the week before she was attacked. He was trying to protect everyone associated with our family. You can ask him if you don’t believe me. But, Irina wouldn't go. It wasn’t just you she cared about. She loved her job as Uncle Andre’s secretary. She wasn’t willing to leave school. No human had ever been caught up in a shifter war like that. Especially one that wasn’t mated to a wolf. There was no reason to think she was in danger. None. She chose to stay and it wasn’t just for you. So you can stop blaming yourself for what happened. That rests squarely with the Vadims. And it’s over. Irina would never want you to deny your own happiness over what happened.”

  It would have been so easy to believe all of what my brother said. But, when I closed my eyes, I cou
ld only see Irina’s blood staining my hands and running rivers down the dark alley where she died.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Nova

  I couldn’t sleep. Not a wink. And as each minute ticked by, stretching into hours, the answer became clearer, thrumming through my heart.

  I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t be near Erik anymore. He clouded my judgment. I was all feeling, no logic. I’d spent four years on my own and knew how to take care of myself. He could justify things as much as he wanted, but danger didn’t find me until he did.

  And now, I’d willingly made myself an even bigger target because of him. Maybe my uncle meant well engaging Wolfguard, but it had brought me nothing but grief.

  As hard as it was to admit it to myself, it was time to go.

  Once I made the decision, it all seemed so easy. I’d go north, into Canada. I knew shifters had luck mining the Yukon. Though I wouldn’t mine myself, I could find work in one of the towns.

  A fresh start. A new identity. I could be anyone I wanted or no one at all.

  Only then would I feel truly safe. I showered and changed into fresh clothes I found in the bedroom closet. Payne Fallon spared no expense planning for my stay. I felt at once appreciative but also even more trapped. He’d intended for me to stay holed up here indefinitely.

  I packed a bag with some essentials. I had a little bit of cash. Enough to put me on a bus and head north. Once I neared the border, I could shift and cross easily. The rest I’d figure out as I went. It’s how I found my way to Little Fork and that had served me for years. I could do it all over again. But, I could only do it alone.

  I left the apartment and headed down the hall. The apartment where Erik promised to be was empty. I couldn’t sense him there. Luckily, there appeared to be no security cameras on this residential floor. I knew that wouldn’t be true down in the lobby, so I’d have to move through it quickly. Erik promised me I wasn’t a prisoner. It was time to put that to the test.

  It was still at least three hours before the building opened for business. An eerie emptiness settled through the lobby as I came out of the stairwell. I hid in ghostly shadows as I made my way to the front doors. I knew an alarm might sound when I opened them. So be it. If it came down to it and I had to shift, I was faster than all of them. I hoped I wouldn’t have to.