Timeless (ForNever)

by Rosaline Saul

  There is a moment of silence and I take a sip of my tea. It is warm and sweet and finds the right spot.

  She says jokingly, “You must have had an all-nighter last night with Shannon. When I got back this afternoon, you were dead to the world.”

  This reminds me how tired I still am and then I struggle to stifle a yawn. “We did stay up half the night, and if I don’t get back to bed now, I will never get up for school tomorrow.”

  I get up from the chair and then I leave my mug in the basin.

  Walking back to her, I see she is lost in her memories again, there is a small smile playing on her lips.

  I sigh inwardly. Not so long ago everything was simple, now I am dealing with magic, witches, immortality, and my mom and dad both moving on with their lives and I am stuck in the middle of all of it

  I bend down to her and kiss her lightly on the top of her head. “Good night, Mom. I would say sweet dreams, but I see that will happen anyway.”

  She gasps insulted, and then she says, laughing easily, “Good night, Heather.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  After school, Kieran and I are on the train. I sit close beside him and his hand rests on my thigh.

  He leans his head closer to mine. “Jayden is picking us up at the station.”

  I frown as I turn my head to him. “Why?”

  He looks hopeless, when he says, “We need to talk about something.”

  I laugh mockingly. “What do we need to discuss with him?” The last time I set my eyes on Jayden was the night after we came back from the aquarium.

  “I do not want to say too much. I promised Jayden we will discuss it together, and it does involve all three of us.”

  I tilt my head onto his shoulder, he feels safe. I watch the world pass by outside, on the other side of the train window. It is a beautiful sunny day and I am looking forward to a summer holiday filled with joyously long, warm days.

  When the train pulls into Drogheda station, he scoops his bag up and swings it onto his shoulder. He takes my bag in his one hand and then hand in hand, we step off the train and walk along the platform toward the ticket office.

  Before we walk out through the door to where I can see Jayden waiting for us impatiently, Kieran turns to me and he pleads softly, “I love you, Heather. What I am going to suggest later today, will perhaps make you think I do not, but please remember you are the one for me, and I believe we will make it. I cannot wait for this curse to be broken and for the moment when I hear you say I am the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

  I squeeze his hand, and as always, I want to tell him it is obvious I would choose him, but I know I am not allowed to let those words escape from my lips. To say those words could possibly be my death sentence. I know loving Kieran will be so easy, and it would be great to contemplate a future with him.

  I feel uncomfortable when we walk down the steps toward Jayden. His eyes fix on me and he watches me intently.

  Kieran greets Jayden stiffly, and Jayden nods his head in return while his eyes are still riveted on me.

  Jayden says to me, “I thought we could discuss this at Tara.”

  I shake my head vehemently. “No.” Quickly I add, “It is too far to drive all the way there now, and my mom will be worried if I am not at home when she gets there.”

  For some unknown and unidentified reason, I do not want to go to Tara with Jayden and Kieran. The thing they want to discuss with me seems serious and I do not want to spoil the memory of the night Jayden took me there.

  Kieran suggests, “Let’s just go to the park.”

  I ask, “Why can’t we just go to my house?”

  “I do not want us to talk about it in a closed space. The shadows are multiplying by the day, and when we discuss this, I would prefer they could not hear us too clearly.”

  Baffled, I get into Jayden’s car after Kieran opens the door for me. Automatically I move across to the other side of the seat, and Kieran gets in next to me.

  In silence, we drive down the road toward the park and when we get there, Jayden parks his car in the parking area in front of the kid's play area.

  We walk to the large open space of the park and dead centre in the middle Jayden stops and sits down on the grass.

  I sit down and when my leg touches Jayden’s I bring my knees up to my chest instead and I wrap my arms around my legs nervously.

  Kieran sits down next to me. I have a strange feeling of déjà-vu that I have sat between them many times before.

  Kieran glances around us, but the shadows are huddled together in a large, tightly packed circle around the outskirts of the park. I can feel the anticipated eagerness radiating from the dark gloom that has become my everyday illusion.

  Kieran looks at me, when he says softly, excitedly, “I have found a way to break the curse, and once it is broken, we can.” His eyes move to Jayden and then back to me again. “Carry on with our lives as normal. We can stop always having to anticipate tragedy only because we have fallen in love.”

  I have a sudden deep sense of unease and I glance at Jayden, who is just sitting there defeated.

  Kieran continues, “I think the reason why the shadows have become so brazen is because Heather, you have never before come so close to your birthday.”

  He smiles encouragingly when I catch my breath. “What do you mean I have never come so close to my birthday?”

  Kieran glances nervously toward Jayden. Jayden says gruffly, “You have never made it past sixteen.”

  Kieran tries to lighten the mood by saying, “Not so long ago, being older than sixteen and not yet betrothed meant you were doomed to be a spinster.”

  I hug my legs closer to my chest and I start to sway backward and forwards. Kieran reaches for me, but I shrug away from his hand.

  Kieran looks hurt when he continues slowly, “So I think we should perform the ritual a week before your birthday.”

  Softly I exclaim, “But that means you want to do it next week. I am supposed to visit my dad this weekend.”

  “And that will work out perfectly because your mom will think you are with your dad, while your dad thinks you are with your mom.”

  “I cannot do that. I am going to see my dad and then I am spending my birthday with my mom.”

  “When are you going to your dad’s?”

  “Friday evening, but I am staying the whole week. School closes for holidays this coming Friday—you know that already.” I look at Kieran puzzled.

  “For it to work, we have to do it on the summer solstice, which is the twenty-first, so next week Tuesday.” Worriedly he looks at me. “Is that okay? You do understand when this curse is broken, we can be together without any shadows lurking around every corner.”

  Disgruntled Jayden demands suddenly, and I jump in my skin. “Tell her the whole story, Kieran.”

  “Not now, Jayden.”

  “Yes! Now Kieran.”

  Kieran gives Jayden a murderous look and then he turns to face me. “This has to be your decision whether you want to do it or not, and I do not want you to feel as if I am forcing you into it.”

  Jayden pushes himself up off the ground in a hurry and I see the muscle in his jaw twitching persistently. He walks away from us at high-speed and it is as if he cannot contain his anger. I have never seen him this way before.

  Kieran turns to me and he touches his hand on my leg. I look back at him questioningly as he suggests, “This weekend we should go on a guided tour of Newgrange so we can see what it looks like.”

  I nod my head resignedly.

  He stands up and pulls me up with me. He holds his arm around my waist and before we reach the parking area, he says softly, “Heather, I will always keep you safe. Please don’t be afraid.”

  I smile up at him sadly. When we get to the car, Jayden is sitting behind the steering wheel, brooding. The Script is blaring loudly, the base reverberating through my spine. As soon as Kieran and I get into the car, Jayden starts the car and he drives
me home. Nobody says a word, and even if one of us wanted to say something, we would not be able to because the music is too loud.

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  My mom is going out on a date with David and when I walk into her room to say goodbye to her, I take a step back. She looks utterly beautiful.

  Jokingly, I say, “You clean up nicely.”

  She smiles nervously. “I do not know what is wrong with me, but I want to make a good impression.”

  “Mom. If those old feelings you and David had for each other are still there, then he would not even notice whether you arrive in a potato sack.”

  Her hands smooth over the delicate satiny material of her dress. “I suppose you are right.”

  Inquisitively I ask, “So? You think he is the one?”

  “We’ll have to see and take things one step at a time.”

  Love surely is inexplicable and mystifying—so messed up.

  I hear my dad honk his car horn outside, and hurriedly I rush over to her. I lean in for a hug and I hug her carefully, so I do not crinkle her dress, smudge her make-up or mess up her hair.

  “Good night, Mom. Behave yourself this week.”

  She laughs nervously. “Don’t worry, when you get back you won’t suddenly find a strange man living with us.”

  The thought never even crossed my mind and I really hope it does not happen.

  My dad honks the car horn again, so I quickly grab my bag and rush downstairs. At the door, I call up to her, “Bye, Mom. I love you.”

  She calls down, “Enjoy the week, Heather, and I love you more.”

  Smiling, and before I close the door, I call up to her, “I love you most.”

  I push against the door once to make sure the lock is latched.

  We drive away from my home, and my dad talks about everything we will be doing during the week. He talks about Shirley, and I can hear the laughter, love and joy in his voice when he talks about her.

  I realize I have accepted that although my parents did once love each other, they grew in different directions, and they have found love with other people. My dad laughs again, and my mom has a sparkle in her eye. I understand now, sort of, there are diverse kinds of love, like the kind where you only feel affection for another person, the kind where you adore another, the kind where you worship another human being, to be devoted to someone, to care for somebody, be in love with another. Love was never lost—I just did not understand it completely. I thought it is supposed to be black and white, wrong and right, but there are a million layers to love, and it is not easily put into plain words or understood. There are times when you just have to trust in your heart, that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, or that excited feeling you cannot suppress.

  When we stop in his driveway, the pixie-like Shirley opens the door on cue. I am, weirdly, pleased to see her.

  She does not offer to take my bag again, and she does not take me upstairs to my room. After she greets me in the hall with an awkward hug—awkward because when she comes toward me, I pull back nervously. She says friendly, “Put your bag in your room. Dinner is ready.”

  So effortlessly, in nine simple words, she made me feel at home. I wonder if she went on a crash course on ‘How to make your new stepdaughter feel at home’.

  We eat at the dinner table and then afterwards we watch TV together.

  Later, when I go up to my pastel splash room, and before I get into bed, I open the window. The latch on this window is not broken and although I have not seen Jayden since that day in the park, I am hoping he would come because I need to speak to him. I lie on my back, and I try to send my thoughts to him, but I doubt he will receive them.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

  I open my eyes slowly, and for a moment, I wonder where I am.

  The room is neat, compared to my messed, well-lived-in room at home. There is a chill coming in through the window I left open before I got into bed the night before, and the sun has already risen above the horizon.

  Sadly, Jayden did not come to visit me during the night.

  My dad treats Shirley and me to waffles with strawberries and cream.

  As I hear Jayden’s car stop in the driveway, I get up from the table and when there is a knock at the door, my dad looks at Shirley baffled. His cheeks are bulging with waffles, and there are smudges of cream on his lips.

  I smile and say, “It’s for me.”

  An interested, curious look appears on both their faces.

  After I open the door for Kieran, I invite him in and take his hand. We walk through the hall to the dining room and when I introduce Kieran to my dad and Shirley, my dad looks at him distrustfully.

  I feel mortified when my dad says to Kieran, “You will bring her back before sundown.” I never knew he cared.

  Kieran says obediently, “Yes, Sir,” while I pull him by the hand to follow me out into the hall again. I call back to them, “Bye, Dad. Bye, Shirley. I’ll be back later.”

  As I pull the front door closed behind me, I hear Shirley convince my dad that Kieran looks like a very responsible young man and I cannot help smiling. Here I was thinking he could not be bothered about me, when all along he did, he was just so busy trying to be happy in his own life while he was married to my mom, that somewhere, somehow, he sort of neglected me.

  I avoid making eye contact with Jayden, as he glares at me through narrowed eyes.

  After Kieran and I get in the car, Jayden increases the volume and it is impossible for us to speak.

  We drive away from Slane and then toward Newgrange.

  Newgrange is located only eight kilometres outside of Drogheda and together with Knowth and Dowth it is designated as a World Heritage Site.

  It was constructed during the New Stone Age and the passage tombs are about five thousand years old. As the name implies, passage tombs are passages leading into a chamber where the remains of the dead were placed.

  The passage at Newgrange points to the South East and is approximately nineteen meters long. It leads into a chamber with three recesses. I find it fascinating that after five thousand years the tour guide tells us the roof is still waterproof.

  Newgrange is basically just a large circular mound of stones that covers a tomb. It has a curb of massive slabs of stones laid out on their long edges, each end touching, all around the base of the mound. Most interesting is the way the curb stone at the entrance and the stone diametrically opposite, at the back of the mound are decorated. Outside the mound, about twelve meters away, there is a ring of tall, widely spaced standing stones surrounding the mound as well.

  Kieran is fascinated by the height of the monument, which is six meters at its centre, and the lush green grass growing on top of it. We walk around the entire mound, hand in hand, while Jayden follows a few steps behind us.

  When we leave, Kieran looks excited.

  After we arrive back at my dad’s house, Kieran walks me to the door, and then he takes me in his arms. He rests his forehead against my shoulder, and I feel him sigh deeply.

  When he brings his head up again, he looks into my eyes and his summery, greener than green eyes speak volumes of unspoken words. He says eagerly, “So long have we gone around in this endless circle and I cannot believe it is almost over. Will you trust me, Heather?”

  “Of course, I will.” I smile up at him. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  It looks as if he wants to tell me something, but I can see the moment he decides not to. He hugs me close to him and then brushes his lips over mine. “Soon I will be with you all the time and we can spend every moment together. I have worked so hard at finding this spell, but it has been worth it, to be with you and for you to be with me, without us having to fear the shadows.”

  I wrap my arms around his shoulders and strangely, I can feel a weight drop from my shoulders. It is a burden my soul has been carrying, and now that it is almost over, my soul feels as if it will soon be able to rest.

  Kieran sinks his lips on mine, and I surrender myself to his kiss
completely. I feel a deep, sheltered love for him.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

  Jayden watches Heather as she leans closer to Kieran, and he feels her, once again, slipping away from him. He feels the pain, deep in his chest. Soon she will be gone, maybe forever. He knows he must find a way to tell her, with words, but mere words cannot express his love. He can never find the words to tell her how much she means to him; how much he loves her. He wants her to feel the love she has for him, without him having to say it. He realizes completely, that never will he and Heather be together.

  As he watches her wrap her arms around Kieran, he convinces himself he does not give a damn about her, and nothing will ever change his mind again. He is happy for her just to walk away because he doubts his heart can take much more.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

  I wake up when I feel something nudge me against the shoulder. I sit up immediately and look around bewildered. At first, I think the dark shape looming over me, is a menacing shadow, but then he whispers, “It is just me.”

  I frown and glance at the window at the same time. I see the white of his teeth as he smiles widely down at me.

  “Scoot over,” he says as he lies down next to me. He stays on top of the bedding and I feel imprisoned as the duvet pulls tightly against me. He lifts himself and he pulls the material out from under him.

  He settles back against the headboard, his legs extended along my body and he folds his one leg over the other.

  I lift myself up onto my elbow. With my head resting on my palm, I look up at him amused. “What do I owe this sudden visit to? I thought you stopped pestering me and visiting me like a thief in the night, now that you and Candice have become so close.”