Whispers of a Broken Halo

by Glines, Abbi

  The blue lights finally made it to the scene of the crime, and there I was with the pole in hand, a furious Rio, and my sister in the car with her son. I didn’t know what relationship she had with Rio. Heck, they had barely known each other back when we were kids. There had to be something going on between them for her to bash his Jeep. Was that why he had kept his distance from me at work? Was he dating my sister? He knew how I had once felt about her, so maybe he hadn’t known how to tell me, or maybe he hadn’t thought anything of it at all. Tory was stunning. She had only gotten more gorgeous with age.

  “Bryn?” Rio said my name, and I looked at him.

  I didn’t know what to do. No words were coming. I was just standing there. Mute.

  “What the fuck? And I thought I’d pissed off a crazy tonight. Turns out, you did,” the blond guy said.

  I shifted my gaze to him then. He was Tory’s type. I could believe she had been dating that one more than I could Rio. He had the bad-boy look to him she was drawn to.

  Had Bryn attacked the Jeep because she thought it was his?

  “What the hell did you do?” Rio asked me.

  My eyes swung back to his. If I told him the truth, he would press charges. At least, there was a good chance he would press charges. There was a small chance that he wouldn’t if he thought this was my doing. Maybe I was putting more faith in the friendship we’d once had, but deep down, I couldn’t believe he would have me arrested.

  “I d-d-d-didn’t know th-th-th-this was your Jeep,” I stammered. When I was nervous like this, it was harder to control the stutter that I had worked so hard to overcome. Lying to Rio and taking the blame, however, had brought it back full force.

  His scowl deepened. “You fucking bashed in my Jeep, Bryn? What is wrong with you? Although this is crazy as hell, you could have at least made sure to trash the right vehicle. Dammit!” Rio stalked over to observe the damage and ran a hand over his short hair.

  “Got a call from someone who was leaving the bar. Said there was a female beating a Jeep up. This yours?” the cop asked Rio.

  He locked both hands behind his head, just staring at the damage. “Fuck,” he groaned.

  I felt sick to my stomach.

  “You do this?” the cop asked me.

  I paused only for a moment because I knew I had to say something. Cullen was in the backseat. If I told them the truth, then he would witness his mother being arrested. I couldn’t do it to him. I also wasn’t sure I could even get the words out if I tried to talk.

  “No, it was a misunderstanding. You can go,” Rio told the cop just as I opened my mouth to confess.

  I swung my gaze to his, waiting for him to say more. That small part of me that had thought Rio wouldn’t press charges if he believed it was me had been right. It made me feel even worse instead of relieved.

  “Are you sure? She’s holding a metal pole, and that Jeep is going to need extensive body work,” the cop said with a concerned expression on his face.

  Rio nodded. “Yeah. It’s fine. You can go,” he replied.

  “Shit,” the blond guy said under his breath. He was as surprised as the police officer.

  The cop shook his head and shrugged. “All right then, but if this is a lovers’ spat and it goes beyond this, I’ll be taking you both in. Clear out of here.”

  “We will. It’s done,” he assured the cop.

  With one last glance at me, he looked disappointed that he wasn’t going to be able to arrest anyone over this before walking back to his car.

  “Tha—” I started to thank Rio, but he held up a hand.

  “Don’t speak. Just go. I don’t want to look at you,” he said, his hard glare on his beat-up Jeep.

  “Better go on before this sinks in and he snaps out of his shock,” the blond guy told me.

  I wanted to explain it all, but I was afraid of what Rio would do to Tory. Maybe he would let her off the hook too. I just couldn’t be sure. I wanted to tell him I would pay for the damage, but I was barely able to keep the bills paid and food in the apartment. Yesterday, Tory had been fired from her second job since moving here. I didn’t know when she would find another job.

  “I a-a-a-am so s-s-sorry,” I stammered, needing to say something.

  There was no way to describe how horrible I felt. Keeping Tory safe for Cullen’s sake wasn’t always easy, but this was by far the most difficult thing I had done. Speaking had become easier for me when I was calm and could speak slowly and think about my words. But tonight, I felt the block there, taunting me. Reminding me how my brain was broken.

  “Go ,” Rio roared.

  I jumped back, startled, then hurried to the driver’s door to get in before I remembered Tory had gotten in the driver’s seat. Keeping my head down, I went over to the passenger side and quickly got inside.

  “Oops,” Tory said as I closed the door. “Guess I got the wrong Jeep.”

  “D-d-don’t sp-sp-speak. Not n-n-n-now. Jus-jus-just don’t talk to me,” I said as calmly as I could, but the stuttering was still there. My heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn’t sure I could control my words when I felt like this.

  “Whatever,” Tory replied. “You’re so damn dramatic.”

  I turned my head to see Cullen staring at me, wide-eyed. He looked so scared. For him, I would keep my mouth shut. It was all I could do.

  Chapter Two

  It was almost an hour before I was due for my shift, but I hadn’t slept last night, worrying about Rio’s Jeep. The only option that I could come up with was to set up monthly payments for the damage. I was hoping I could get extra shifts, and that money could go directly to Rio.

  Tory wasn’t awake when I left, but she had promised that she would go job-hunting today.

  Getting to work early so I could talk to Rio about this had been weighing on me since I’d come up with the idea at four this morning. Tory and I shared the fifteen-year-old Buick that had belonged to our aunt before she died. Some mornings, it didn’t want to start, but with a little extra work, we could normally get it going.

  Tory had been able to walk to her last two jobs from our apartment. The farmers market was five miles from our place, and I could walk it if I absolutely had to, but it would be easier if Tory found a job in town close enough she could walk to.

  Parking the Buick in the back of the lot with the other staff members, I made my way to the back entrance. I didn’t see Rio’s Jeep here, but then I doubted he would drive it. He was always here early for deliveries. I hoped he would be today. I couldn’t make what Tory had done right, but I could at least pay him back.

  The cooler fall air that had finally arrived in the South wasn’t even enough to make me smile this morning, and I loved this time of year. My stomach was in knots, and I replayed exactly what I was going to say to Rio as I walked across the parking lot. I had almost reached the entrance when Rio emerged from the back, carrying a crate of sweet potatoes.

  His eyes immediately locked on me, and he turned to a younger guy I had seen working in the back, unloading trucks, and shoved the crate into his hands. Jeremiah nodded at whatever he’d said and then turned to go back inside. When Rio’s gaze swung back to me, I was thankful he was alone.

  “Don’t say anything yet,” he said, his glare leveled on me.

  Confused, I waited, unsure why he wanted me to remain silent. There was a lot I needed to say to him and hopefully ease the hateful look in his eyes. I understood why he was upset, and I didn’t blame him, but if I could just tell him my plans, then maybe we could find a way to move on from this.

  Hazel, Rio’s aunt—who was a few years younger than him, but I wasn’t sure by how many—appeared behind him in the doorway. Hazel was kind and always there to help anyone who needed it. She had become the closest thing I’d made to a friend while working here at Deep South Farmers Market. Other than the interactions I’d had with Rio at least.

  “Sorry, Daddy ain’t here jest yet. His arthritis is acting up this mornin’ somethin’ awful,�
�� she said to Rio, then gave me a nod; however, her always-present smile was not there.

  She was mad at me too. I couldn’t say I blamed her. What Tory had done to Rio’s Jeep was bad. I opened my mouth then to try and fix things the best way I could, but I didn’t get that far.

  “That’s fine. You’re management,” Rio said to her. “I just need a witness to this.”

  A witness? What did he need a witness for? He needed someone else to hear what I was going to say? If so, then I was okay with that because I intended to keep my word. I would pay him back for the damage.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d show up this morning. I figured you’d just quit,” he told me matter-of-factly. “Since you didn’t do the respectable thing and quit, you’re fired.”

  My stomach sank. I had feared this outcome, but I had hoped I could talk to him before this was decided. “I n-n-need this j-j-job, Rio. I’m s-s-sorry about your J-J-J-Jeep, and I am going to—”

  “You’re sorry about my Jeep? Well, that doesn’t fucking fix it, does it?” He glared at me. “You’re going to leave this property. You’re not welcome here. Buy your produce elsewhere,” he said, not letting me finish what I had come here to tell him. He turned then to walk inside.

  Hazel gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, but you must have expected this,” she said softly.

  Part of me had, but then there was the part of me that had hoped Rio knew me better than that. Deep down, he had to know I wouldn’t do something so insane. Apparently, I had been mixing up my childhood Rio with this one, and they were not the same. That was something I had realized more than once, watching him in his life here. The more I observed him, the more I doubted he was there somewhere, lurking beneath the surface.

  “I want to pay you back,” I blurted out without a stammer. “I was hoping I could work extra shifts here and give the money to y-y-y-you.”

  He paused then, but he didn’t look back at me. “I don’t want you here. You can work extra shifts somewhere else.” He turned his head slightly in my direction then. “Your first payment to me will be your last paycheck. Don’t come pick it up. There won’t be one.”

  With that last bit of devastating news, he walked inside, and Hazel turned to follow him.

  I stood there for several moments, debating if I should go beg him for at least half of my last paycheck. Just enough to get some milk, bread, and cheese to keep Cullen fed until I could get another job. We were on our last ten dollars, and if I did get a job, most of them would make me wait two weeks for my first paycheck.

  Tears stung my eyes as the frustration and panic set in. Tory hadn’t thought about any of this when she decided to act like a maniac last night. Now, we had ten dollars, neither of us had a job, and we had a four-year-old to feed. I knew going inside and begging wouldn’t help. Rio had made it clear he didn’t want me here. He also didn’t want to listen to my problems.

  I wanted to hate him for it, and part of me did. He hadn’t known struggle in a very long time. His life here was magical. I had watched him live in this fairy tale, and I wondered sometimes if he remembered what it had been like back at Sumit Head.

  Not once in my life had anything been as easy for me as it was for Rio. Sure, his Jeep had been ruined, but he had car insurance and a rich grandfather. He would survive it. No, it wasn’t fair that Tory had damaged his vehicle, but it wasn’t fair that I had to give Cullen water to drink and a piece of fried bologna for dinner either.

  By the time I was back in my car, my guilt over what Tory had done was slowly morphing into an extreme dislike of Rio March. His life wasn’t hard at all. Nothing in it was a challenge. Today, his Jeep would go to a body shop and get fixed. He would eat three solid meals and not once worry about his rent being paid. There would be no four-year-old little boy begging him for a glass of milk that he couldn’t afford.

  One thing I was certain of was that the Rio I had once loved was no longer. He was long gone. In his place was someone I had no desire to be around.

  There were other jobs, and I would get one. I didn’t need Rio’s help to get a good paying job with benefits. I had been desperate most of my life, and I had always found a way out. I would do it this time too. Reaching up, I wiped at the tears that had fallen, angry with myself that I had shed even one of them.

  Depending on someone was a mistake I should have learned not to do by now. It never worked. The only person I could depend on was myself. I would take care of things. Cullen would get his milk, and he wouldn’t be forced to eat cheap, unhealthy food.

  Holding on to pride was pointless. What had that gotten me in life? Absolutely nothing. I was over it.

  Chapter Three

  “What’s he drinking?” Tory asked when she walked into the apartment after being gone for only three hours.

  “Did you find a job?” I asked her, knowing by the look on her face that she hadn’t.

  “Not yet. Did you?” she asked, then pointed at the cup of milk in Cullen’s hand. “How do we have milk? You said we only had ten dollars left, and the gas tank is almost empty.”

  “No one in town would hire me, thanks to the Jeep incident,” I told her.

  “Then, why does he have milk?” she asked, raising her voice.

  It was times like this, which was the majority of the time, that I wanted to slap my sister. This was her son, not mine, yet she was upset that I had bought him milk. When she saw the grilled cheese sandwich I was about to make for him, she would hit the roof. I was beyond caring at this point. I had just told her I couldn’t get a job in town because word had spread about Rio March’s Jeep, and it was her fault. She had caused this.

  After being turned down all day, I had gotten home, and Cullen was red-eyed from crying while sitting on the sofa quietly with his coloring book. I waited until Tory left to go on a job hunt to ask him what was wrong. He hadn’t wanted the water and crackers Tory had given him for breakfast, and when he had asked her for milk, she had yelled at him. I hated when she acted as if he should understand that we had very little money. He was a baby, yet she treated him as if he were old enough to understand.

  “It’s milk,” I told her.

  “And neither of us has a job. What the fuck are you thinking?” she asked me, clearly annoyed.

  “I’m going to get a job tonight,” I replied, fighting back the panic that I refused to allow to have any power over me.

  “Where? You just said no one would hire you.” Tory was still talking too loudly.

  “I don’t have it yet, but I will,” I replied, taking out the cheese from the fridge.

  “Where?” she repeated.

  I reached for the loaf of bread, then looked at her. “In Mobile. I will be working nights,” I said, then went back to fixing the grilled cheese for Cullen.

  “Where in Mobile will you be working nights, Bryn?” She was getting annoyed.

  “There is a place hiring that I found in the paper today. It pays more than I could make working anywhere else. I’ll be serving drinks.” I forced a smile for Cullen’s sake.

  She didn’t say anything then, and I wasn’t sure if what I was telling her had sunk in or if she was done, trying to get specifics out of me. When I placed the sandwich in front of Cullen, she scanned my body with her gaze once, then narrowed her eyes.

  “Are you gonna work at a strip club?” she asked, smirking.

  “Don’t,” I warned her, cutting my eyes toward Cullen. I didn’t want him to ever know what I was planning on doing.

  “It’s about time. You don’t use those things for anything else,” Tory said, pointing at my breasts before walking past me to go sit down on the sofa.

  “Well, excuse me if I never wanted to use them for a source of income,” I snapped, then went to the tiny bathroom we all shared in the studio apartment to get a shower.

  I took more time than was necessary simply because the more I allowed myself to think about what I was going to do, the harder it was going to be to go through with it. The life I had lived, th
e childhood I’d survived, it all had played a part in the woman I had become. Just because I had lost my innocence at a young age didn’t mean I was experienced.

  The truth was, no man had ever seen me naked. At least, not since my mother had ended the life of the man who had sexually abused me. Intimacy terrified me, and I stayed away from it. I was modest because it was a security blanket for me. Now, after just turning twenty-one years old, I was going to pretend to be something I wasn’t for money. If it wasn’t for Cullen, I wouldn’t even consider it, but this job promised more money than we had ever brought in, even when we were both working.

  If nothing else, my life had made me tough. Because of that toughness, I could do this, and I would. The first few nights would be hard. Time would make it easier. There was no future in my life that this would affect. It wasn’t as if this could come back to haunt me and mess up any grand plans I had. My main goal in life had become making sure Cullen had proper food and a safe place to live. Maybe there had also been that desire to get to The Shores and find Rio March.

  Lucky me, I found him , I thought bitterly.

  By the time I finished my makeup, I had convinced myself that not doing this would be selfish. It was what got me out the door and gave me the courage to walk in the doors of The Red Stiletto. My heart was slamming against my chest so hard that I was sure everyone could hear it as I made my way to the bar, where I had been told to go when I arrived.

  I didn’t take in my surroundings. I was afraid to just yet. Although I knew what was happening around me, I preferred not to look. I needed a few minutes to adjust first. Keeping my focus on the colorfully lit bar, I headed directly for it.

  A tall man with blond dreadlocks, covered in tattoos, wearing a tight-fitting black polo shirt, was pouring a drink behind the bar. He should have seemed out of place, yet somehow, he made tattoos and dreadlocks appear as elite as the upscale bar he was standing behind. He lifted his eyes to meet mine, then his gaze dropped, as if he were appraising what he could see of the rest of me. This was my life now. No reason to get offended.