Whispers of a Broken Halo

by Glines, Abbi

  They were safe now, and I didn’t need to be mixed up with any part of their lives. I was done. I had paid the money Tory owed, and that debt was covered.

  “We always make our pizza. We like to do that,” Cullen told me, turning his gaze from me back to Bryn.

  But I couldn’t let the kid down now. I’d spoken without thinking.

  She nodded, then stood up. “Of course we can. We need to go to the store and buy the supplies. Why don’t you go use the bathroom, brush your hair, and put on some shoes?”

  He spun around and hurried down the hallway.

  Bryn turned to look at me then. Her arms folded across her chest. “What’s wrong? Are we in danger?” she asked me quietly.

  The concern in her eyes was clear. She thought I was staying because of something Tory had done. I considered being vague and making her think she needed me. Bryn had lived in enough fear. I wasn’t going to lie to her to cover up my stupid offer to stay for pizza and a movie. I would cover that up another way.

  “Nothing’s wrong, and you’re not in danger. She owes no one. And no one will be coming here. She was dating the brother of the guy who owned the meth lab, but it was new. They had just met. All three are in prison.”

  There was no reason to tell her that Tory had owed a three-thousand-dollar debt. She’d want to pay it, and I wasn’t going to let her go work extra hours at the fucking strip club to pay me back.

  Her arms fell to her sides, and her shoulders visibly relaxed. “Thank God,” she whispered. Then, she frowned and tilted her head slightly to the left as she studied me. “So, why the pizza and movie?”

  What was my lie going to be? This was not a date. I didn’t want her to think I wanted more. This was an ending. Closure. Real closure this time.

  “I don’t have to stay. I just offered to give you some peace of mind. Reassure you that no one was going to show up. Plus, Cullen seemed excited to see me, but I don’t have to stay, and you can make up an excuse as to why I left if you think my being here will confuse him.” I stopped there, thinking it was a pretty damn good excuse to me.

  The look in her eyes was wary, and I knew she didn’t trust easily, if at all. She must still think they were in some danger.

  She dropped her gaze to the floor and visibly sighed. “He isn’t used to having a man around,” she finally said as she lifted her head and looked at me. “He likes you. I can’t let him get attached, but I guess one evening won’t hurt.”

  Why the hell was I relieved? I wasn’t going to get laid now, and I had a date to break. I should be upset that she wasn’t letting me out of this.

  “Don’t confuse Cullen. He needs to understand you’re not going to be coming around again,” she added.

  I understood what she meant, and I agreed. I didn’t want the kid to get hurt or attached. I was not the man for him to get attached to.

  “Just this one time,” I agreed.

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  It looked like she was going to say more when Cullen walked back into the room. He had changed into a Spider-Man T-shirt and put on a pair of tennis shoes with Velcro straps. The sides lit up as he walked.

  Bryn glanced back at me after looking at him. “You going with us to the store?” she asked.

  Somehow, it felt more like a challenge. I could see in her eyes that she expected me to say no. She knew if I was seen with them at the grocery store, that people would talk. She also had no clue how little I cared about that shit.

  “You ever ridden in a Jeep?” I asked Cullen.

  His eyes went wide. “No,” he replied.

  “Well then, I guess I have to go. I’m driving,” I replied, then winked at him before turning to look back at Bryn.

  She looked as if she might argue, but one glance at Cullen stopped her. “Okay, but I need to get his booster seat out of the car.”

  “I’m really gonna ride in a Jeep?” Cullen asked excitedly and hurried for the door.

  “The top’s off too,” I told him.

  “This is the best day ever,” he exclaimed as he reached the door.

  I followed him, checking to make sure Bryn was coming. She was frowning as she studied the back of his head and shifted her gaze to mine.

  “Don’t make him like you too much,” she added.

  I didn’t have a response for that. I wasn’t sure what the proper reaction to that request should be. Cullen walked outside and then stopped and turned to look for Bryn. When he found her walking behind us, he went to her and reached up to grab her hand.

  It was just one more night. He wasn’t going to get attached to me that quickly.

  “Let’s go,” he said, grinning up at her.

  She returned the smile, but I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Trusting someone else with Cullen—even just with a Jeep ride, pizza, and a movie—worried her. That led me to wonder about her personal life.

  Had she not dated anyone since Cullen’s birth? Had they always lived together? Had her life recently changed by moving here with Tory and Cullen?

  As I walked to the Jeep, more questions began to pile up in my head, and I fought to push them aside. This wasn’t my business, and I wasn’t going to make it my business. But it was impossible to believe Bryn hadn’t dated or brought a guy around since Cullen’s birth.

  “I need to get the booster seat,” Bryn said.

  I stopped as she unlocked her car, and then I moved to take the seat before she could.

  “I got it,” I told her.

  Again, the flash of worry was in her eyes.

  “It’s one evening. Stop looking so damn scared,” I whispered for her ears only.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Rio

  nine years ago

  All we did was move. I was so sick of it. This place was even worse than the last. My mother couldn’t stay anywhere for too long. Rent would come due, and she couldn’t pay it, so we’d have to leave in the middle of the night. Or her current boyfriend would disappear, and we would move because of that. Always the same shit.

  The trailer park she had moved us to this time was worse than the last apartment we had left. I honestly hadn’t believed a place could be worse, but it was.

  I took the last box of our things from the car and closed the door with more force than necessary. The car was ancient, but it was sturdy. Mom had said it was the car her father had given her when she turned sixteen. I didn’t know the man all that well, but he had chosen a good car for her. I was convinced nothing could stop the thing from running. Mom’s neglect and abuse to the car should have put us on the side of the road a million times. Yet it just kept going.

  “Get the box inside and unpack things. I’ll be back later,” Mom said as the door to the trailer slammed behind her when she came outside.

  She had put on some of the red lipstick she only wore when she was heading out to a bar. We didn’t have enough money for her to go to a bar.

  “You going to find a job?” I asked her hopefully.

  She shot me a glare. “Ain’t yer business what I’m doin’. Now, go on in and unpack. I’ll get some groceries tomorrow.” Then, she flashed me a smile to soften her words.

  I didn’t say anything more. There was no reason to. She was done talking to me. I watched as she backed up and drove away in the faded blue Ford too fast, considering kids were out playing in front of their trailers. She was a mom, and you’d think she would think about that. Not my mom though.

  I started to turn and head inside when long dark-blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail and blowing in the breeze caught my attention. The girl had just turned from the main road, and she began walking down the center path between the trailers. The closer she got, the more I could make out, and she looked to be my age. Possibly younger by a year or two. The jeans she was wearing were too big, and the shirt she had on was too thin for the cool breeze. Her arms were wrapped around her to fight off the chill.

  I lifted my gaze back up to her face, and now, she was close enough that I coul
d see her clearly. I set the box down on the step beside me but didn’t take my eyes off her, afraid she’d disappear. The sun made the bright blue of her eyes stand out, even from this distance. Long, dark lashes framed them perfectly. Pink lips, which were full and appeared to be puckered into a frown, were accented by one dark freckle just to the left of her nose. It reminded me of the beauty marks that actresses a long time ago had put on their faces.

  Those blue eyes locked with mine, and she stopped walking. Her frown vanished, but she didn’t smile. She appeared unsure. As if she was trying to decide if she should turn and run.

  I lifted my hand in a wave.

  For a moment, I didn’t think she would respond, but then she returned the wave just barely. Then, she hurried toward the trailer she had stopped beside.

  Girls didn’t normally run from me. This was a first.

  “Hey!” I called out to get her attention before she was gone.

  She stopped but didn’t turn to look at me. I knew she had heard me. I waited to see if she would turn back around. When she didn’t, I started walking in her direction. I didn’t know why I was so damn determined to get her attention. Maybe it was her odd behavior, or I just needed to get a close-up view of the rest of her face.

  “I’m Rio. I just moved in two trailers over,” I said when I was close enough to her.

  She stiffened when she realized I had walked over and then slowly turned to look at me.

  Yeah, I was glad I had forced her to wait. That face was something else even if she did appear terrified of me. When had I become so damn scary-looking? Last I’d checked, my dimple was popular with girls.

  She was too perfect. Everything from her nose to her damn feet. Something had to be wrong. When she said nothing, I wondered if she could speak, or maybe she was deaf.

  “I’m nice,” I assured her, laughing at my own words.

  A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, and I felt an odd sense of accomplishment. I wanted to see her full smile. I tried to think of something funny to say.

  “Hello,” she said in a soft voice.

  I was going to need her to talk more. That wasn’t enough.

  “You live here?” I asked, nodding my head at the trailer that looked to be in even worse condition than ours.

  She glanced at the trailer, and I saw a flash of sadness in her eyes before she nodded.

  “What grade are you in?” I asked, hoping she was in mine.

  There was silence, and I was beginning to think she wasn’t going to respond when a slight frown that looked as if she was concentrating creased her brow. This was an easy question, but she made it appear to be difficult. I started to tease her and say just that in hopes that she would smile again, but I didn’t get a chance before the door to her trailer swung open.

  An older girl stepped outside. She wasn’t dressed for the cooler weather either, but for different reasons. This one had a killer body, and she was showing off all of it that she could.

  “What-the-fuck-ever!” the girl yelled at whoever was inside, then let the door slam. “Bitch,” she added before looking over at us. “There you are. She’s a fucking psycho. Good luck. I’m leaving.”

  The girl I had been talking to went rigid but simply nodded.

  The older one shifted her gaze to me and gave me a once-over. “Who are you?” she asked, tossing her long pale-blonde hair over her shoulder, then pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the leather fringe purse hanging on her arm.

  “Rio March,” I replied. “Just moved in a couple trailers down.”

  She put the cigarette in her mouth, then lit it up before taking it out and smirking at me. “Lucky you,” she said, then shifted her gaze to the other girl. “Might want to stay out here with Rio until she leaves. She’s got work.”

  She only nodded again. It wasn’t just me she didn’t talk to, it seemed.

  The older girl shook her head and laughed, then took a pull from the cigarette before looking at me. “She’s not talking, is she?”

  For some reason, I felt like admitting to the younger girl’s silence would be betraying a trust. I didn’t even know her, but I just didn’t feel right, doing it.

  “Yeah, she is,” I lied.

  The older girl raised her eyebrows. “Sure she is,” she replied. “I’m Tory, and this is Bryn. Nice to meet you, Rio,” and with that, Tory turned and headed for the main road.

  The name Bryn was unique. I liked it.

  “Thanks,” she said softly.

  “For what?” I asked.

  She blushed and ducked her head. “Ly-lying,” she replied.

  I had been right. She hadn’t wanted Tory to know she wasn’t talking. I was intrigued.

  “Is that your sister?” I asked.

  Bryn nodded her head. We were back to silent responses again.

  “GET YER SORRY ASS IN THIS TRAILER! Stop being a whore like that sister of yers!”

  I watched Bryn jump just before I swung my gaze to the woman standing at the door. She looked nothing like the two girls who lived here with her.

  “Yes, ma’a-a-a-m.” Bryn struggled in her response and hurried toward the stairs without another glance in my direction.

  When she reached the top step, the woman aggressively grabbed her thin arm.

  “Don’t you back-talk me, you lazy little shit!”

  “I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-s—”

  “Oh, shut the fuck up. I ain’t got all damn day to listen to you stutter like a moron,” the woman told her, then slung her into the trailer and let the door slam behind them.

  Anger settled in my gut, and my hands fisted at my sides. I wanted to storm up to the door and threaten the woman, but I was barely fourteen. She could call the cops on me. Claim whatever the fuck she wanted. I was a kid.

  My mom was rarely right about things in life, but she was right about there being no God. Because if there were a God, then things like this wouldn’t happen. A mom was supposed to love her kids and protect them. Not abuse them.

  I had to find a way to help Bryn. Somehow.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Bryn

  present day

  I didn’t trust life since it had never been on my side. Watching Rio make bread pizzas with Cullen and seeing the smile on Cullen’s face had terrified me. For the most part, I fought the fear and anxiety this was causing me. Protecting Cullen from life wasn’t something I could do. No one was safe from fate. I wanted him to have moments like this.

  I just didn’t want him to expect them. They were sparse. Rio was here now, but why he was here, I still wasn’t sure. He had made a phone call while we were at the grocery store, and from the small bit I’d caught at the end, it had been clear he was apologizing for canceling plans. If he’d had plans, then why stay here?

  Rio leaned forward and looked at me from across Cullen’s body. We were all on the sofa with Cullen in the middle, watching the movie. Rio nodded his head toward Cullen, and I looked down to see he was asleep and slumped over on Rio’s arm. I had been so lost in my head and worried that I wasn’t sure how long he had been like that.

  I stood up. “I’ll go get his bed ready,” I told Rio.

  I had expected this and dressed him in his pajamas before the movie started. He hadn’t brushed his teeth, but I wasn’t waking him up to do that. We would floss extra tomorrow.

  Rio could leave now, and this wouldn’t happen again. Cullen and I could go on with our lives and find a way to settle into Tory not coming home for a while. Getting back to work was something I had to do. Draining my savings was a bad idea.

  After I turned down the covers and made sure the night-light was on, I went back to the living room to get Cullen. Rio stood up as I entered and then scooped Cullen up into his arms. I was going to do that, but I didn’t say anything. Cullen was asleep, so this didn’t matter.

  I led the way to Cullen’s room and watched as Rio laid him in bed. I waited for Rio to move, so I could tuck him in, but Rio pulled the covers up and did the job
himself. The entire scene was as touching as it was disastrous. That was the kind of thing Cullen never needed to depend on. A man would not be in his life. Getting attached to this one was something I couldn’t let him do.

  When he finally stepped back, I moved to the spot beside Cullen, then bent to press a kiss to his head. Even though he was asleep, it was something I had wished for as a child. To have a mother who loved me and made me feel safe. I knew Tory loved her son, but she had never given him that comfort. Our mother had loved us. So much so that she’d killed her longtime boyfriend for abusing us, but a simple kiss, hug, or comfort wasn’t something she had given us.

  Rio left the room, and I followed him, closing Cullen’s door as I went. I assumed Rio was leaving now, and I went behind him to say good-bye and lock the door. He was standing there, just outside the entry area. Not at the door, but it was clear he was ready to leave.

  “You gonna finish the movie?” he asked.

  I glanced at the television, then back at him. “No. Spider-Man isn’t my thing.”

  Rio smiled just enough for his dimple to appear. “Yeah, me neither.”

  I waited a moment for him to say good-bye or whatever. The silence was only seconds but felt like an eternity. Possibly because I was hoping deep down, he would want to stay.

  “I had fun tonight. He’s a good kid. Thanks for letting me crash your evening,” he said, then moved slightly, as if to head to the door.

  “Cullen enjoyed it,” I replied, unable to admit I had too.

  This was done, and he had no interest in anything more. How weak was I to allow myself to even want more with Rio March even if it had been a fleeting thought?

  “Well, I’ll see you around. If, uh, I hear anything about the shit with your sister that I think you should know, I will be in touch,” he told me. Then, with one last nod, he turned and walked the few steps to my door. “Lock up,” he added but didn’t look back.

  “Always do,” I assured him.

  Then, the door opened and closed. He was gone. I wanted to be glad this evening was over, but I knew it would now haunt my thoughts for a while. Rio was not easy to forget, and he had just made it more difficult for me by showing me a side of him I had thought was gone.