Savvy

by Ingrid Law

  ‘My own b-business, Lill?’ Lester said in surprise, now clearly distracted from the fact that there was a policeman climbing on to his bus.

  ‘Why sure, Lester,’ she said. ‘I know you’ve got it in you.’

  ‘What took you so long to come into my life, Lill?’ Lester said with a sigh, shaking his head and staring at his feet. ‘I wish I c-could have met you years ago.’

  ‘I’m always late, Lester,’ Lill laughed. ‘It’s just a talent I can’t escape.’

  I watched Lill calm Lester’s worries and thought about how good and kind she was, and about all the trouble I’d caused her. But while Lill didn’t seem to hold our deception at the motel against us, she did want to know how we’d managed it.

  ‘You kids are too smart for your own good,’ Lill said after we’d said our sorries and explained how we’d faked the call to Miss Rosemary. Lill hugged each of us to her in turn. ‘The world had better watch out for all of you. You’re big trouble in the making.’

  Bill was going to drive ahead of the Heartland Bible Supply bus as an escort all the way to Salina and he asked Will if he wanted to ride along. Poor Will contemplated the patrol car, looking torn in two. I imagined that he’d love nothing more than to ride up front in that car with his daddy, like he was a police officer himself. But then Will glanced at me.

  ‘Next time?’ he said to his dad with a sheepish grin.

  ‘Go on with your friends,’ laughed Bill, rumpling Will Junior’s hair then pulling him towards him for another back-thumping hug.

  ‘I guess you’ve been missing your poppa too,’ I said to Will as we got settled.

  He shrugged and squeezed my hand tight. ‘Things don’t always happen the way you want them to, Mibs,’ he said. I thought about that and I thought about my own Poppa in the hospital. I thought about the way my savvy hadn’t worked out in the way I’d hoped or how our journey to Salina had taken its own twists and turns. Then I remembered what Lill had said just before falling asleep in the motel the night before… ‘You never can tell when a had thing might make a good thing happen.’ I realized that good and bad were always there and always mixed up together in a tangle. Though, at the moment, I wasn’t sure that made me feel any better.

  34

  The closer we got to Salina, the greener the world became, as rolling prairie transformed into rich, irrigated farmland. As soon as we’d found Samson behind the panelled wall in Carlene’s trailer, Fish’s storm over Tuttle Creek Lake had dissolved. Now the crisp white light of spring sunshine opened up the skies once more. But despite the sunshine and the brilliant green landscape, my thoughts were bleak and barren and black and white. All I could think about was Poppa.

  Will Junior and I sat near the front of the bus so that he could keep watch on his daddy’s patrol car, and Fish and Bobbi were across the aisle, ignoring the caseworker just behind them. Bobbi was chewing her gum and painting her nails with red Mega Mega Mart nail polish, cursing softly at every bump in the road, and Fish was leaning up against the window with his eyes closed. I knew he wasn’t asleep. I figured he was thinking about Poppa, same as me. I couldn’t get Officer Meeks’s words out of my head. I couldn’t forget what he’d said about Poppa.

  ‘… he needs his family around him now.’ It sounded terrifying to me… It sounded hopeless.

  Not being able to get past the officer stationed at the back of the bus, Samson had curled up in the front seat with Lill, his head in her lap. Lill was using all of the alcohol wipes from the new first-aid kit to scour away the black ink from Samson’s arms and hands. That ink burbled and shivered as it came off, paring down the mayhem in my head into a single pointed voice that pierced my heart before being scrubbed away.

  ‘Strong for Poppa.’

  ‘Strong for Poppa

  We had one last stretch of motorway to travel, a slow clip-clop countdown of miles and exits, and I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from asking, ‘How much further? How much further? How much further?’

  It seemed like an hour longer than forever before Lester followed Bill Meeks’s patrol car off the motorway at exit 252, passing a sign with a large white H that told us we were on the right path to the hospital. I trembled at the sight of that stark, bone-white letter. It meant we were almost there, almost to Poppa at last.

  With a left turn that took us under the motorway and on to Ninth Street, Bill led the bus into the town of Salina. The traffic lights at every crossroads had been blasted out, looking now like upright rows of empty eye sockets. Cars crept and crawled across the busier streets and traffic was backed up, even though it was Sunday afternoon. Crews were out trying to replace all of the broken red, yellow and green glass, and the city was obviously still struggling to recover from Rocket’s electric wake. I swallowed hard; I’d never seen Rocket make such a mess. It made me shiver all the more. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea for him to take Momma to Salina after all. I hoped that the hospital had plenty of spare lightbulbs and that Rocket wasn’t getting too close to any of the important, life-saving equipment.

  We were all sitting up on the edge of our seats now, any last trace of drowsiness having vanished as soon as we got off the interstate. Without Bill leading the way, it would have taken forever to manoeuvre through the jammed streets. But Bill turned on his siren and even got out once or twice to direct the bus through crossroads where frustrated drivers wouldn’t let us pass. The afternoon sky, arcing blue as cornflowers over the town before our arrival, was now beginning to cloud over. Precipitation gathered from the corners of the atmosphere to take the shape of a small dark storm cloud directly over the bus. But Fish held tight to his savvy with a strong and skilful scumble, and the cloud simply hovered grimly overhead, sending down neither a sprinkle nor a spatter.

  Bill must have called ahead to announce our arrival, for as soon as the big pink Heartland Bible Supply bus followed his patrol car into the hospital’s parking lot, stopping right in front of the large sliding glass doors of the entrance, we saw our families waiting for us.

  Pastor Meeks and Miss Rosemary appeared to be struggling between relief and anger, their faces going slack then rigid, smiling then stiff. Rocket and Momma were there too, looking haggard and sleepless. To my surprise, Momma was hanging on to a squirming Gypsy, and Grandpa Bomba leaned on Rocket’s arm, holding tight to one of Grandma Dollop’s jars. The pastor and his wife must have brought the rest of our family down with them, and I was grateful to them. It was going to be good to have everyone in the family together again.

  As soon as Lester opened the door of the bus, Momma set Gypsy down, taking her by the hand and rushing forward as we all began to climb down those three steep steps.

  ‘Where in the world have you all been? What were you thinking?’ Momma cried as she grabbed Fish and Samson and me and held on tight, tight, tight, crushing us together along with Gypsy, like a big bouquet of flowers in a perfect hug. When at last she let go, she pulled us inside, fussing over each of us as if she were checking for any missing fingers or toes.

  ‘I wasn’t worried,’ Rocket said, his face so lined and hardened that I knew not to believe him. He gave me a sideways shoulder squeeze and an unintentional electric shock that made me jump. His voice cracked as he said, ‘Savvy birthdays always tend to cause a rumpus.’ Then he punched Fish on the arm and mussed up Samson’s hair, leaving it standing on end and crackling with static. It hadn’t occurred to me until then that Rocket hadn’t only been worried for Poppa, he’d been worried about us as well. Guilt nearly crushed me – no wonder he’d caused so much damage.

  Grandpa Bomba stood, tears streaking his wrinkled face as he looked from each of us to the next. He held the glass jar with its faded label tucked into the crook of his arm, and I knew immediately which one it was.

  I threw my arms around my old grandpa, hugging him as hard as his ancient bones could bear. ‘It’s okay, Grandpa,’ I said. ‘We’re all together again just the way we should be.’

  Letting go, I turned ba
ck to Momma. Samson was at her side, tugging on her shirt. Ignoring Gypsy as she tried to pull her hand free, Momma bent down so that Samson could whisper in her ear. Samson’s eyes were round and dark as he looked up into our momma’s face and I could see his lips form the word that was on all of our minds.

  ‘Poppa?’

  Momma’s face drooped, the warm smile she’d greeted us with vanishing for a half second before being replaced with a very different kind of smile – the kind of smile born from love and sorrow and the desire to protect us all from our very worst fears.

  ‘It’s good you’re all here now,’ Momma said softly. ‘It was a mistake for me not to bring you with me in the first place.’

  ‘But, Momma,’ I said. ‘You don’t make mistakes.’

  Momma’s face pinched and tightened as she tried not to cry. ‘Oh, Mibs,’ she said, pulling me to her again. ‘I can make awfully perfect mistakes.’

  Rocket dropped his head and stared at the floor, his knuckles white and his jaw clenched as the lights in the waiting room dimmed and pulsed once but did not burn out or shatter.

  ‘I’ll let you all say your goodbyes,’ Momma said, letting go of me and wiping her eyes. ‘Then we’ll go up to see Poppa.’

  ‘Let’s just go now,’ implored Fish, picking up Gypsy and grabbing Momma’s arm.

  But Momma stood firm. Running a hand absently through Fish’s messy hair, she continued, ‘Nothing will change in the next two minutes, Fish. You can say goodbye to your friends.’

  A sobbing wail drew my attention. Nearby, Miss Rosemary was trying to rein in her dripping tears. She dabbed her eyes with a white handkerchief and took turns squeezing Will and Bobbi to her, while Pastor Meeks kept his eyes closed and his hands clasped together, looking as though he might be sending up a silent and mighty prayer of thanks.

  Bill had joined us all inside the waiting area, hanging back a bit during the emotional family reunion – watching keenly as Miss Rosemary clucked over Will’s black eye like a mother hen. But when Pastor Meeks finished his prayer and opened his eyes, he reached out a hand, giving Bill’s a firm shake and pulling him into the group with a hearty thump on the back.

  As soon as Bobbi could, she detached herself from her mother and sidled closer to Rocket with a smile, looking at the way my brother’s T-shirt stuck to him with static. Rocket noticed Bobbi’s smile quick enough and, despite everything, he managed a half smile back her way. I remembered the way she’d talked about my brother in the pool and watched to see what Bobbi might do.

  ‘Hey, Rocket,’ said Bobbi, pushing her fringe out of her eyes and shifting her weight on to one hip.

  ‘Hey, Bobbi,’ said Rocket with a nod, a stray spark of blue popping at his fingertips.

  Bobbi noticed that spark even if no one else had. Smiling wider and raising her eyebrows, she pulled the gum from out of her mouth and stuck it on the back of a nearby chair without taking her eyes off my oldest brother, as though getting herself ready to kiss him then and there, while she had the chance.

  But before Bobbi could say or do anything more, Miss Rosemary grabbed hold of her daughter’s arm and pulled her away from the rest of us. Miss Rosemary’s tears shut off like a tap and she railed, ‘You’re in enough trouble already, Roberta. Don’t go asking for more.’ Then she looked at us Beaumonts as though we were devil angels sent to lead her children astray.

  The shiny gold minivan was parked outside and all Miss Rosemary wanted to do was restore her life to the proper order and get back on the road to Hebron with Bobbi and Will in tow.

  Lester and Lill were standing in the open doorway of the bus, peering past the sliding glass doors of the hospital to watch the reunion inside with broad smiles on their faces. Lester stood on the step behind Lill with his hands on her shoulders, and I could tell just by looking at them that they were going to be all right. But I hoped, hoped, hoped I’d get a chance to see them both again some day. It wouldn’t seem right not to.

  I’d made it to Salina; I was finally here. Even so, I had a feeling in my chest like my heart was breaking up, like it was turning into nothing more than a big ball of melon that could dissolve into little watery chunks at any moment. It felt disjointed and downside-up to be parting ways so abruptly with all my new friends. All I could do was wave to Bobbi and Will as the preacher’s wife dragged them out of the hospital.

  Just before the sliding doors slid shut, Will caught my eye with his own quick wink. I realized I’d be seeing him again at church next Sunday, or I hoped I would – I hoped you couldn’t get kicked out of church for making bad choices or for knowing you’d probably make those same choices again if you had it all to do over. I hoped that God could understand my reasons for doing what I’d done better than Miss Rosemary had.

  Before following his wife out of the hospital, Pastor Meeks shook Momma’s hand. He shook Grandpa’s and Rocket’s too. ‘You’ll all be in our prayers,’ he said, with a stern nod to the rest of us.

  ‘Thank you, Pastor Meeks,’ Momma said to the preacher, trying to suppress a wistful smile as the man’s hair filled up with Rocket’s static, standing straight up off his head.

  As soon as the older man turned to leave, Officer Bill Meeks stepped towards us. ‘You kids stay safe and keep out of trouble, all right?’ Then Bill shook hands with each of us, even Samson, before he left. At the door, he looked over his shoulder at me, and nodded once before following the preacher out of the hospital. I watched Bill through the clear glass doors as he stopped briefly to exchange words with Lester and LiU, then strode over to say his own goodbyes to Bobbi and Will as they climbed up into the minivan. I liked Bill Meeks and I was glad that Will wanted to grow up to be just like this daddy.

  On the Heartland Bible Supply bus, Lester’s shoulders began to twitch. He was ready to be on his way. Lill blew us a kiss, and Fish and Samson and I all waved back at her.

  At last, it was time to go find Poppa.

  35

  Inside the lift on our way up to the intensive care unit on the fourth floor of the Salina Hope Hospital, Momma squeezed us all to her once again, kissing each of us on the top of the head.

  ‘We’ve been so worried,’ was all she could manage to say and still keep her voice under control. Hooking one arm through Fish’s and holding my hand in hers while Rocket wrangled both Gypsy and Grandpa Bomba, Momma tucked Samson up under her wing as though by keeping us close enough, we might not disappear again.

  Rocket stared my way like he was examining me for new spots or stripes. He looked me over, head to toe and back again. ‘How’d your birthday treat you, Mibs?’ he finally asked, just as the lift doors opened up on the fourth floor. For a moment we all just stood there. We knew Rocket wasn’t asking about my cake or my party or even my runaway journey through the heartland.

  Momma looked at me anxiously, as though, having been steeped in all of her other worries, she’d almost forgotten about my savvy. The lift door began to close again with all of us still standing inside, but I reached out and caught it with my hand.

  ‘It treated me just fine, Rocket,’ I answered as though I hadn’t had a single lick of trouble. ‘I believe that me and the world will survive my savvy just fine, once I get a bit more used to it, that is.’

  Glancing at the nurses’ station just across the hall, Momma said, ‘I want to hear all about everything. I want to know about your savvy, Mibs,’ she said quietly. ‘And about everything that’s happened to you since we last saw you. You have to tell me the whole story, from start to finish – all of you.’

  ‘First Poppa?’ whispered Samson, tugging again on Momma’s sleeve.

  Momma smiled the saddest smile I’d ever seen. Her smile was perfectly heartbreaking. Unable to speak, she nodded, tears filling up her blue, blue eyes. Stepping out of the lift, Momma led us towards the nurses’ station. The nurses all looked up from their coffee and their charts, smiling at Momma and Grandpa and the rest of us like they were saying sorry, sorry, sorry – sorry that your Poppa’s hurt, sorr
y that he’s broken.

  ‘Are these the rest of your children, Mrs Beaumont?’ asked a nurse wearing bright blue scrubs dotted with little rainbows.

  ‘Yes,’ said Momma. She nodded quickly towards Fish and Samson and me, ‘These three are my delinquents – my wandering adventurers.’

  ‘We were just trying to get down here, Momma,’ I said plaintively. ‘I just had to see Poppa. I had to.’

  Momma nodded. ‘I know, Mibs.’ Then, turning back to the nurse, she asked, ‘Can I take my children in to see their poppa now? Because I honestly can’t predict what might happen if they don’t get to see him soon.’

  ‘Yes, Mrs Beaumont,’ said the nurse with a kindly nod. ‘You can take them in.’

  Momma led us across the hall, towards a half-open door, passing a maintenance man on a ladder, who was cursing to himself as he replaced a long florescent light in the ceiling. Stopping with her fingers wrapped around the door handle, Momma looked each of us in the eye as though she were reeling us in to her, trying to hold us close with her gaze.

  ‘Momma?’ said Fish, with just a trace of wind blowing the hair out of his eyes. ‘Poppa hasn’t woken up yet?’

  ‘Not yet, Fish,’ Momma said. ‘Not yet.’ Then, sharing a sorrowful knowing look with Grandpa and taking a deep breath, she continued slowly, choosing each word carefully, ‘The doctors say… well, they say he may not.’ Then she added quickly, ‘But we will keep hoping and praying, because, if nothing else, those are things we can all do.’

  I felt as though the Earth were going to open up and swallow me, and I wondered if Grandpa was shaking the ground or if it were only my legs quaking beneath me.

  Momma looked quickly towards Fish, past experience readying her for his storm. But aside from a smattering of rain against the windows just beyond the nurses’ station, Fish was holding it together. I suppose it could have been the numbing shock of Momma’s words that dampened Fish’s savvy, or even Samson’s hand in his – perhaps it was Fish’s own brand-new scumbling strength, but, standing there outside Poppa’s room, not even a breeze tickled the air.