Beyond Always (Lex and Amanda Series)

by Carrie Carr

  She considered her co-workers. They had slowly lost employees during the past few years until only a few were left. Mark, a part-time student who lived with his parents, showed up late most of his scheduled days. Susan, a retired schoolteacher who covered during holidays, didn't need the money. A couple of high school students who giggled more than they worked filled out the list. The other manager, Regina, was a single mother of two small children, who lived more paycheck-to-paycheck than Rebecca. "Even Regina?"

  "Of course." He sounded insulted that she asked. "I don't play favorites."

  Rebecca closed her eyes and rested back against the seat. She hoped Shelby would forgive her. "Give her my hours, Mr. Carson. I'll try to find something else."

  "Are you sure? I mean, that's a kind sentiment and all, but what about, um, your friend? Will she mind?"

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "Well, she's the um, you know, uh," he stammered.

  "She's the what?"

  He quickly changed the subject. "I'll be more than happy to write you a glowing letter of recommendation, Rebecca. And if more hours become available before you find something else, I'd be thrilled to have you back."

  "Thank you, Mr. Carson. I'll drop by soon for the letter. Goodbye."

  Rebecca disconnected the call and tossed the phone toward her purse, which was open on the passenger seat. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel in frustration. "Damn it! Shelby's gonna freak."

  She sat in the driveway for half an hour, trying to figure out the best way to break the news to her lover. They had a small savings built, but certainly not enough to sustain them for any length of time. Shelby's work at the Rocking W had been a godsend, allowing them to think about their future. "And now I've screwed that up," she told herself.

  THE ENTICING AROMA of fresh-baked bread wafted through the house. Lex took a deep breath, but stopped when she heard Helen laugh. "What?"

  "It should be out in another five minutes, Lex. Don't worry, you'll get a piece."

  Shelby snickered into her coffee cup, but didn't offer anything verbal.

  Roy gazed fondly at his wife. "Now you understand how I'm gaining weight."

  Helen looked around the table. "Would anyone like more coffee?"

  "Stay put. I'll get it." Lex was up and into the kitchen before Helen could argue with her.

  Roy leaned across the table toward Shelby, so he couldn't be overheard. "She's doing better, isn't she?"

  "Yeah. Although Amanda threatened to skin me if she overdoes it today. And I know better than to cross her."

  "No one ever does." Roy sat back in his wheelchair as Lex returned. "Ain't that right, Boss?"

  Lex refilled all the mugs before placing the coffee pot on a wooden trivet in the center of the table. "What's right?"

  "Shelby was just tellin' us about your boss," Roy teased. "I think Amanda has put the fear of God into your new foreman."

  "She has a tendency to do that." Lex dropped into her chair and stretched out her legs. "While we're on the subject of foremen, we need to figure out a few things around here."

  Roy set his coffee cup down. "I'm supposed to be whittled down to a walking cast in the next couple of weeks, so at least I'll be more mobile. But the doc has already warned me against riding until I'm fully healed."

  Helen poked his arm and cleared her throat.

  With a roll of his eyes, Roy added, "The doc also told me I needed to start taking it a little easier. Said I'm not getting any younger. I told the old--" he glanced at his wife, "so-and-so that none of us are."

  "He also said that you have high blood pressure." Helen looked smug. "No more fried foods for you, hon."

  "Welcome to the club." Lex turned to Shelby. "How about you? Does Rebecca keep you on the straight and narrow, too?"

  Shelby snorted. "Nope. We pretty much eat healthy all the time, though. Don't bother me none."

  "Just wait," Roy warned. "One of these days, you're gonna wake up and find out that too many years have passed without warning."

  "Yeah, you're such an old fart," Lex joked. But then she took a moment and looked at him. Somewhere along the way, Roy's blond hair and mustache had turned silver, and the creases in his bronzed face had deepened. With a start, she realized he was more than sixty years old. "Damn."

  He frowned. "What?"

  "Nothing." She tapped the table. "So, once you're more mobile, do you want to ride along with Shelby and give her some pointers?"

  "Sure. Sound okay to you, Shelby?"

  Shelby swallowed the mouthful of coffee she had taken and sat back in her chair. "Yeah. Rebecca will be glad, too. Between her work and mine here, we don't see one another as much. It'll be nice to get home before dark-thirty."

  The oven timer buzzed, causing Helen to get up and heed its call. "No one go anywhere," she warned. "I'll bring some fresh bread and butter right out."

  Roy leaned closer to Lex and Shelby. "Once I'm on my feet again, we'll pack up."

  "Why?"

  "I'm sure you'd want Shelby here on the property, since she's going to be doing my job. Even with therapy and all, my days as foreman are over."

  Shelby cut Lex's reply off. "Like hell I will. Look, I've got a nice little spread of my own, Roy. I enjoy working here, but you can keep the title of foreman and the house. I ain't got enough schoolin' to be in charge."

  "I sure as hell can't do it anymore. And all I have is a high school diploma. You've got what matters, which is common sense. This job isn't that complicated, just busy. Right, Boss?"

  Lex crossed her arms and watched the two argue back and forth. "Oh, so now you want my opinion?"

  When Roy blushed and Shelby lowered her gaze, Lex laughed.

  "Damn it, Roy, I don't want you to go anywhere. There's more than enough work around here for all of us. As a matter of fact, I thought it would be nice if we set you up with the accounting program that I use to keep track of the cattle. That would free me up to do other things while Shelby handles what you can't."

  "Sounds good to me," Shelby agreed. "Roy?"

  "Yeah." He blinked and cleared his throat in an attempt to cover up his emotions. "I'm happy here."

  AMANDA HANDED REBECCA another tissue, as the redhead continued to cry. Rebecca had shown up on her back doorstep not long after Lex and Shelby left, her face splotchy and her eyes swollen from crying. It took more than fifteen minutes to calm her down enough to find out what was wrong. "I don't think Shelby is the type to get angry about something that was out of your control, Rebecca."

  "No, she's not. But I don't know how she's going to take me giving up my job completely."

  Rebecca blew her nose then added the used tissue to the large pile on the coffee table. She watched Eddie quietly play with his wooden blocks on the floor nearby. He seemed unaffected by her emotional display. "Even a few hours would have been better than none."

  "Not necessarily. You would have spent all your check on gas. Why don't you think of this as an opportunity? I was devastated when we had to shut down the real estate office. But now I wouldn't have traded all this time with my kids for anything in the world." Amanda patted her hand. "Is there something else you've always wanted to do?"

  Rebecca took a cleansing breath and leaned back against the sofa. "I've never really thought about it. Work was just a way to bring home money. It wasn't something that I really enjoyed."

  "And now you have a chance for something new." Amanda took a drink of her iced tea. "I know you love horses and competing. What else?"

  "You'll probably laugh."

  Amanda handed her another tissue. "I doubt that. Here."

  "Thanks." After wiping her face, Rebecca stared at the coffee table. "Being with your kids, made me realize something."

  "It has?" Amanda looked at Eddie. "You want to have a baby?"

  Rebecca's head snapped up. "Oh, no! I mean, I love kids, but not for myself. I love being just a couple with Shelby. She's the only one I need."

  Amanda finally laughed
. "Don't look so panicked. Luckily, I don't think you have to worry about becoming pregnant by accident. Although you can have fun trying."

  "Oh, my God." Rebecca buried her flushed face in her hands. It took her a minute or two to get her embarrassment under control. She pointed a finger at Amanda. "You're evil."

  "I've lived with Lex for too many years. She can still make me blush. So, what is it you realized?"

  Rebecca laughed. "You also have a one-track mind."

  Amanda tapped impatiently on Rebecca's thigh.

  "Okay, okay. I realized that while I don't want children of my own, I love being around them. I know I don't have the business sense or the money to start my own daycare but I'd love to work in one. Maybe teach the little ones things they need to know before they start school."

  "What a wonderful idea! You're a natural teacher. Have you ever thought of going to college to get your teaching certificate?"

  Rebecca shook her head. "I didn't make very good grades in school. And I couldn't afford to go, even if I wanted to. Trust me, I hated school almost as much as I love horses. It drove both my parents crazy for me to refuse college after I graduated."

  "Not everyone needs college to be successful. You should do what you feel is best."

  "Thanks. Would you mind talking to my father? He still bitches at me, all these years later." Rebecca blew her nose and wadded the tissue. "But in all seriousness, I would take a few child education classes if I had to."

  Amanda gave her a hug. "If there's anything we can do to help, let us know. I think you'll be great. Now, do you want to run to Martha's with me? She's got a couple of pies that are due to come out of the oven anytime."

  "You are such a bad influence on me, Amanda Walters." Rebecca stood and picked up Eddie. "Lead the way."

  SHELBY STOPPED THE truck and pointed to the west. "Is that what y'all were talkin' about, Lex?"

  "Yep. See how those damned vines totally cover that part of the fence? We've tried just about everything. It'll die off for a while, then come back again with a vengeance."

  "Damn. And it grows too thick for the animals to see?"

  Lex nodded. "Stupid cows can really hurt themselves trying to barrel through it. For some reason, the guys have to be told to check this fence at least once a month, especially in the spring." She rubbed her chest and frowned.

  "You okay?"

  "Pretty much." Lex checked her watch. "It's close to lunchtime. Why don't we head back to the house? I promised Amanda to take it easy today."

  "Sure." Shelby turned the truck around and started down the dirt road. "You and Amanda have been together for quite a while, haven't you?"

  "Yep. Close to thirteen years." Lex turned to her. "And she's everything to me. Why?"

  Shelby tapped her thumbs on the steering wheel. "Well, I know she took your name. And y'all had a ceremony--"

  "Uh-huh."

  "Have you ever thought about going someplace and doing it, legal-like? You know, get a license and all?"

  Lex thought about the question for a moment. "Nah. I don't need a damned piece of paper to tell me what's already in my heart." She shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe someday we can do it in Somerville."

  Shelby laughed. "Oh, yeah. I can see that happenin'. Probably "˜bout the same time it snows in July around here."

  "Stranger things have happened. So, you and Rebecca ever going to have a ceremony, or anything?"

  The truck lurched to one side. "What?"

  "You heard me." Lex laughed at her panicked look. "It's not that bad, Shelby. Hell, y'all have been together for a few years, right?"

  "Uh-huh."

  "So? Why not take that extra step? Show her what she means to you." Lex paused. "Um, unless you don't think--"

  "No, you're right. I'd love to do that. But her family barely tolerates me now. I don't even want to think about how they'd act if I asked her to marry me." Shelby frowned. "Her brother still threatens to hire someone to get rid of me, just about every time I see the little piss ant. And her folks are nice enough, but I know they still give her grief about us."

  Lex tipped her hat back. "That sucks. I guess family gatherings are uncomfortable, huh?"

  "Oh, yeah. We don't even sit near one another anymore. Her brother would get his knickers in a bunch and start making a scene, and all it did was cause trouble."

  "Damn." Lex could see that Shelby was upset by the conversation. "Well, if you ever want to have a ceremony, you're welcome to do it here at the ranch. I can take the little brother out behind the barn and teach him some manners."

  "I'd pay good money to see that." Shelby parked the truck by the barn and turned off the motor. "Thanks, Lex. I may take you up on your offer, someday."

  Lex got out of the truck and walked to Shelby's side. "Anytime, my friend. Now, let's go see what Martha has for lunch. I bet you five bucks that Amanda and Rebecca are already there."

  "What makes you say that?" Shelby asked, as they headed toward Martha's.

  "Pecan pie. Martha was gonna make a couple of them today, and they're Amanda's favorites."

  "Martha might end up being a referee, then. "˜Cause Rebecca loves "˜em, too."

  "We'd better hurry, then, before they're all gone." Lex sped up her pace, laughing along with Shelby.

  Before they made the steps to the porch, Martha opened the front door. "What on earth are you two up to?"

  Lex walked by her and swatted her on the rear. "Not a damned thing," she teased.

  "Lexington Marie!" Martha squawked. "I'm gonna tan your hide with a spoon," she threatened.

  Shelby paused and removed her hat. "Afternoon, Martha."

  Martha tipped her head in acknowledgment. "Good afternoon, Shelby. I hope you kept Lexie out of trouble today."

  "I did my best, ma'am." Shelby held the door for Martha before following her inside. "It's a tough job, though."

  Lex ignored them and headed for the kitchen. She found Amanda and Rebecca at the table, talking quietly. "Hey. I hope y'all saved some pie for us."

  Rebecca looked up and saw Shelby standing behind Lex. Her eyes filled with tears and she popped up from her chair.

  "Shelby!" She rushed across the room and fell into her lover's arms. "I'm so sorry."

  "Um, darlin'?" Shelby automatically embraced her and looked to Amanda for clues to Rebecca's behavior. "What's wrong?"

  Amanda stood and put her arm around Lex's waist. "You look worn out."

  "Nah. I'm fine. Ow!" Lex rubbed her ribs where Amanda poked her. "Bully."

  "Have a seat at the table, and I'll get you something to eat. Then we're going home so you can get some rest before the girls get home."

  Martha pushed Lex into a chair. "Shelby, why don't you and Rebecca go into the living room? Since Charlie and Eddie are napping in the bedroom, you should have plenty of privacy."

  "I appreciate that. Thank you." Shelby turned to lead Rebecca away. "C'mon, darlin'."

  Lex turned to Amanda. "What was that all about?"

  "Rebecca lost her job. Carson's business is so slow right now that they had to cut everyone's hours."

  "Damn. That's rotten." Lex brightened when Martha placed a piece of pecan pie and a cup of coffee in front of her. "Thanks."

  Martha patted her shoulder. "You're too blasted skinny, girl. And pale, too."

  "It's winter. I'm always pale this time of year."

  Amanda choked on the sip of iced tea she had taken. "Martha, how have you let her live this long?"

  The older woman handed her a napkin. "It hasn't been easy." She pointed a finger at Lex, who appeared to be considering a snarky retort. "Not one word, Lexie."

  Lex grinned and stuck a forkful of pie into her mouth.

  SHELBY LED REBECCA to the sofa and sat beside her. She kept a grip on her lover's hand. "Okay, darlin'. What's got you so upset?"

  "I feel so stupid." Rebecca wiped her eyes with a crumpled tissue. "I mean, I know it's not the end of the world, and I'm sure I can do something about it soon, but--"
<
br />   "Slow down. You're not makin' a whole lotta sense."

  Rebecca took a deep breath and looked into Shelby's eyes. "I think I've really screwed up."

  "You ain't pregnant, are ya?" Shelby asked with a chuckle. When she didn't get an answer, her eyes grew bigger. "Rebecca?"

  "No! Of course not!"

  Shelby blew out her breath. "All right, good. I didn't think so. We haven't really ever discussed it, and I know you like Lex and Amanda's kids."

  "I lost my job," Rebecca whispered.

  "What? How did that happen? I thought being a manager was more or less a secure spot."

  Rebecca shook her head and squeezed Shelby's hand. "Mr. Carson called me this morning and said he was going to cut everyone's hours. Even Regina's."

  "That's a hell of a lot different than firin' someone."

  "Mr. Carson didn't fire me. I quit."

  Shelby pulled her hand away and stood. She tucked her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and walked to the fireplace. "You quit your job?"

  "I thought it was the best thing to do." Rebecca got off the couch and stood behind her lover. "Could you turn around, please?"

  Shelby lowered her head and slowly turned. She closed her eyes and stayed silent, with her clinched fists by her sides.

  "Shelby, I know I should have probably at least talked to you before I--"

  In a low voice, Shelby cut her off. "Remember when I thought about going back on the circuit?"

  "Of course. But--"

  "And do you remember that big fight we had?" Shelby opened her eyes and stared into Rebecca's. "All because you told me we were partners, and partners discussed things before any big decisions were made."

  "I know. And I remember how mad you got, because you said that you were a grown woman, and could make up your own mind."

  Shelby opened and closed her hands several times in an effort to calm down. She kept her voice soft. "You read me the fucking riot act for even thinking about going back to the rodeo. But you can quit your damned job without even mentioning it to me?"

  "Shelby, wait. It's not like that."

  "Six years, Rebecca. Don't you think I deserved a little consideration after six years together?" Shelby held up her hands and backed away. "I need to take a walk before I say something I shouldn't."