“East exit. Opened up the horse pens,” comes back through the watch.
Gio stalks off. “Shit, someone’s still here. You should head out now to be safe!” he shouts as he starts jogging.
With one last, quick glance I head back the way I came. I pass a large, open window overlooking a garden and skid to a stop. I knock on the glass, but the woman outside doesn’t turn around.
“Shit.”
I follow the wall, finding no door, so I keep down the opposite hall, finally coming to a sitting room of sorts with a large sliding window. I push it open and rush out into the yard.
Bright pink and purple flowers line the edges of the walkways, perfectly lined rocks and exotic trees strategically placed here and there.
“Hey!” I shout at the woman, but she makes no move.
I approach the cement bench she’s perched on, walking a little forward to get a look at her face.
Estella, Collins’ mom.
“You need to get out of here.”
“I can’t,” she whispers, a sad smile on her face. “I can’t leave him here, alone.”
I frown, my eyes following hers.
White flowers sit in an over clustered line. I step closer.
A long, rectangular line...
“People here, they don’t die by mistake. There’s a purpose for everyone and everything. A risk and a reward. Here, liabilities are not welcome.”
My eyes fly to hers.
“He learned the truth,” she whispers.
“Who?”
“Felix,” she breathes.
My jaw clenches. “Truth about what?”
This time, the sorrow in her smile reaches her eyes as she reluctantly moves them to mine. “You.”
I don’t break the contact, but she can’t keep hers on me for long.
She looks back to the seven-foot-long, almost three-foot-wide bed of flowers.
“He searched for your mother, for years. He thought she was hurt somewhere.”
My eyes widen, and I look from the tulips to her. “Felix did?”
She blinks away tears, nodding lightly as she takes a deep breath. “He loved me when we were together, but Ravina...” Her voice trails off. “She had his heart. Completely.”
I move in front of her and her eyes snap to mine.
“He was a good man, noble. Far too noble for this place. He should have waited for Brayshaw to see it, and they would have, I have no doubt, but the minute she was on the line, his last chance to have her, he was all in. I know what Rolland thinks of him, but I wasn’t pregnant with Collins yet when he left me.” She looks to her hands. “It was hard, but he wasn’t a monster leaving his unborn son for a woman.” She lets out a small, sad laugh. “Who am I kidding, he was never a monster to me. Not even when he almost left me, us by then, a second time.”
“You got back together, after everything?”
“Sort of,” she admits. “When Ravina left, he was a shell of himself. Donley came to me and asked me to go to his room and take his mind off the loss. I did. For several weeks, after nightfall, I’d go to him.”
“And you ended up pregnant.”
She nods. “Donley moved me in shortly after that, to the maid’s quarters, of course.” She scoffs, a tear falling, but she doesn’t wipe it away. “We didn’t stop sleeping together. Almost every night since the night I was moved in, I slept in his bed, until one day, he came home from a week-long business trip. I was excited to see him, Collins was excited. I remember the night well. The chef had made prime rib. We served it with a glass of aged Merlot. Felix was so happy,” she whispers. “He smiled wider than I’d seen in so long, played basketball with Collins that evening without the trouble in his eyes he normally had when he looked at his son. I was over the moon. I’d thought, he’s back,” she cries. “Finally, after ten years of being a ghost of the man I knew, he was back.”
I swallow, looking across the yard when a small flame appears out of nowhere.
“After dinner was cleaned up and Collins was in bed, so was he. I assumed he was waiting for me, but when I went to his room, I found his door locked, and I knew. It all clicked in a single second.”
“Knew what?”
“He’d found her, the love of his life.”
My head jolts back. “Found her? My mom?”
She nods. “Suddenly, every weekend, sometimes weeks at a time, he had business meetings and events that kept him away.” She looks up. “I’d never seen him so alive as he was during those months. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one to notice.”
“Donley.”
“Yes. One weekend, several months later, Donley told me to get in the car. His driver knew right where to go. I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing them together, with you. He was weightless. Free and smiling.” She swallows. “When Felix got home that Sunday night, Donley was waiting with a nasty ultimatum. I thank heavens every day that he at least loved his son enough to give her up.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was either Collins died, or Felix made Ravina believe he was as sick as the man who ruined her. It took a couple weeks of watching him deteriorate before our eyes, but it was done.” Her tears fall freely now. “My son was allowed to live, Ravina’s hate was back, and Felix’s soul ... it was gone.”
She’s quiet a moment before she says, “Donley knew what he was doing. What Felix would do next. Felix didn’t make it twenty-four hours after that. I found him myself. Buried him here.” She takes a deep breath. “His memory was erased the night that followed, his son forbidden to so much as whisper his own father’s name.”
Smoke fills the air, seeping into my lungs, but my feet won’t move.
“He was prepared to leave us, to leave this place and be with her, be with you.”
“I don’t understand.” I shake my head.
She eyes me. My confusion must be plastered across my face as she tilts her head.
“Do you not know?”
“Know what?”
“The man who came to your mother, the one who allowed you to see a different side of her, a side that maybe you could have loved. That was him.”
My brows pull in in thought, my eyes falling to the grass beneath my feet.
I think back to the story I told Maddoc.
“I hate my mother.”
He doesn’t say anything, so I look his way again. “But that’s no surprise, right?”
His brows lower.
“She’s always been a piece of shit, my whole life, as far as I can remember anyway. But there was one time where everything sucked the teeniest bit less. Wanna know why?” A wry grin slips. “A client stuck.”
“Since he knew about her job of choice, she didn’t have to lie about who she was and what she did. Used and abused and all, he accepted her. Me too. He even claimed to have kids, but I never met them.” I focus on the sky.
“She got better with him, wasn’t clean, but functioned like a human instead of a toy with dying batteries – still turned tricks, but he never seemed to mind.
“For the first time ever, I had a dinnertime. Every night, when the sensor lights on the trailers started popping on – there were no streetlamps in my neighborhood – I’d run back. Excited for a stupid dinner that was never anything more than macaroni and cheese with hotdogs or rice and sauce. Dumb shit, but it was the first time she’d ever seemed to care if I ate since I was big enough to make my own cereal, so I thought it was cool. Lasted about a year.”
“What happened?”
“I ruined it.”
“How?”
With a deep inhale, I look to Maddoc. “Puberty.”
His features morph in an instant, flashing with incomprehensible anger. “Raven.”
“He started paying more attention to me, ‘neglecting her,’ she’d say. She beat my ass, told me I wasn’t allowed around him if I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” I remember how angry she’d get. “Kinda hard when my room was the two feet between the table and the couch,
that was also my bed.”
Holy shit.
“He made her think he was attracted to me, a child, on purpose, to ruin things between them?”
She nods. “He couldn’t simply leave, she’d know something was wrong and possibly come back. Donley couldn’t risk it.”
Both our heads jerk to the side when a loud crack sounds. Flames climb up the edges of the pool house, engulfing it in seconds.
I look back to Estella. “What do you mean by make her think he’s as sick as the person who ruined her? And you said he saw me, if that’s true why would he not bring me here then? He could have prevented all of this.”
“A female is of no use to me.” Her eyes slide over the landscape. “That’s what Donley told a young maid as he fired her, the day her sonogram came back.”
“I...” My hands fly to my hair, trying to make sense of it when the fire shoots across the yard in a perfect line, hitting the right end of the house.
“Raven!” My eyes fly to the slider door. “We gotta go, now!”
I nod, then reach for Estella but she shrugs away from me.
“Come on, we have to get out of here.”
“Go.”
“I’m blowing this fucking place to the ground.”
She smiles sadly at the tulips, reaching out to run her fingers across the soft petals. She drops to her knees in front of them.
“I died in this home long ago,” she whispers. “It’s only right my body goes with it.”
“Estella—”
“Raven, now!” Gio shouts again and suddenly Bass is behind him.
I glare at Estella, dropping beside her. “You’ll leave him with no one,” I growl.
She reaches out, placing her calloused hands on my face. “The fact that you care enough to say those words, after all he’s done to you, tells me he’ll be just fine,” she breathes, her heart breaking for what must be the dozenth time right in front of me. “He’s a good boy, you’d have liked him.”
I clench my jaw, admitting for the first time, “I don’t hate him, just the things he’s done.”
Her tears roll through her smile. “I know. I could tell.”
Tears fill my eyes despite myself. “I have to go.”
“Go.”
Bass is there gripping my arm, but I hold my feet firm. “I’m sorry,” I rush out. “I’m sorry Felix didn’t love you enough.”
“I’m not.”
“Bishop, fucking now!” Alec and Gio both rush for us.
“Everything happens for a reason, and I think the reason was you. This town needs you. I was simply a casualty in the war that had to happen.”
“I can protect you.”
“Go, Raven.”
The boys lift me off the floor, and I kick against them.
“Grab her, make her leave!” I shout.
“We can’t force her,” Gio says quietly.
A thought hits me and I scream. “Wait! Wait!” I kick as hard as I can, jerking my elbows around. It’s enough to get them to pause a second. “You said the woman’s sonogram, she was pregnant. Are you saying Donley has a daughter?”
Her eyes jerk to mine, a desolate smile on her lips. “I’m saying he has two.”
I turn in my seat, my eyes traveling from one end of the Graven Estate to the other. The flames shoot straight up the walls in perfect sync with the ones surrounding it. The pool house is already gone, the stables too, but the house is still standing, but not for long.
I jerk when simultaneously, every window in sight blows, the fire rolling over into the second and third story of the mansion.
The Graven Estate is incinerated, and Estella Graven goes with it.
I spin in my seat, facing forward.
Collins will need to be told of her decision, but not today.
I close my eyes, not opening them until we reach the hospital. I blindly climb from the car and silently, the three of us, plus Gio step into the elevator. I don’t speak to anyone, only hug Royce when he flies from his seat and meets me in the entryway.
He holds me tight, breathing me in. “You’re back. Thank fuck.”
I lean closer, squeezing his biceps, and his arms around me tighten even more. “He woke up, asked about Zoey. He remembered talking to the doc, so that was good.”
“How long was he awake?”
“’Bout an hour,” he tells me, excitedly. “We didn’t get to talk ‘cause the nurse came in and did her nurse thing, but he did have a couple crackers, some water, and then went right back under.”
I nod, a deep exhale leaving me and Royce steps back. “Longer and longer every time, that’s good.”
He gives a small smile, gently pushing me toward Cap.
I ignore Rolland’s presence and make my way to Captain’s bedside, dropping in the seat beside him.
Gio, Bass, and Victoria quietly step inside a few minutes later, each finding a chair around the room.
We sit there without a word, without a damn sound other than the steady beeping of the machines. The nurse comes in twice, but still, no one speaks.
Eventually the sun rises, and when the nurse comes back for her morning round, the others finally drag themselves to their feet. They stretch where they stand and instantly, the weight of every eye lands on me but I don’t look.
I have no strength, no drive.
I feel sick to my stomach, but I don’t show it. My head is pounding, but I ignore it. My world fucked, my mind mush, my thoughts muddled.
I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do. The right move versus the wrong.
My eyes lift to Captain again.
I did this.
I got him shot, I drove Maddoc away, I left Royce feeling abandoned.
I killed my mother, and inadvertently Collins’, too.
Donley will come after us now, for answers if not for more. He—
“Stop it,” is whispered in my ear and my head snaps left.
Victoria stares up at me, distress in her brown eyes. “This isn’t your fault.”
“Isn’t it?” I say back, not bothering to whisper. “She was my mother, she showed up because of me, left because of me, hated this world because of me. I did this. My existence brought all this on. I never should have made it out of the womb. Go, Vee. Get some sleep.”
Her eyes narrow. “You need sleep, and you need to eat.”
“Why should I eat when he doesn’t get to?”
“Because he’d want you to. And he’d be angry if he knew you hadn’t. They all would.”
I shake my head looking away, but she grips my chin forcing it back.
I glare at her.
“I’m getting you something, and you’re eating it. If you don’t, I’ll make sure they tie your ass down, shove a feeding tube down your throat and make you.”
I can’t help it, a small scoffed laugh leaves me, but my stupid eyes fill with moisture. I clench my jaw, nodding.
Her shoulders visibly fall with her sigh and she rushes from the room.
“Mrs. Brayshaw.”
I look over my shoulder to find Fernando at the door.
Royce hops to his feet, moving toward him, but he keeps his eyes on me.
“Ms. Maybell is downstairs. She’s staring up at the window.”
I look to Royce right as his head snaps to mine. He gives a small nod, so I say, “Let her up.”
I never should have made it out of the womb, I said.
Females were no good to him.
Holy shit.
I jolt from my chair, my eyes flying to Royce before I storm out to find the nurse.
“Carmen!” I shout right before she disappears behind a door.
Her worried eyes hit mine and she rushes my way but keeps moving past. “What happened?”
“No, wait!”
She spins on her heels, frowning at me.
“He’s fine.” I shake my head, thinking better of my words. “Or nothing has changed. This is about something else.”
The woman’s brows pull in an
d she steps closer to me. “What is it?”
“Blood,” I say, and she tilts her head. “When someone donates blood, it has to be clean, right?”
“Clean?”
“No diseases, no drugs. Clean.”
She nods. “Yes, that’s right.”
“Do you test the blood or take the person’s word for it?”
“Everything is tested before being marked clear for transfusion.” The edges of her eyes tighten. “I can promise you the blood used for Captain was squeaky clean.”
“What about mine?”
Her head draws back.
“Raven...” Royce draws out slowly, but I ignore him.
“The blood you have in stock for me, the blood delivered by Estella Graven. Was it tested yet and found clean?”
“Of course. It was tested the day it arrived. Things may be run a little unorthodox in this wing, but I promise you we still practice good medicine.”
“So there were no drugs found in the blood given to you for me?”
“None.”
My shoulders fall and I stumble back slightly until my ass hits the wall. I use it to hold me up, tipping my head back for a deep breath when nausea fights its way in, but it’s no use.
I gag but swallow it down, only to gag again.
I slap my hand over my mouth and dash for the bathroom, just barely making it to the garbage in there before I can no longer hold it.
My stomach, already empty, releases more. Yellow and green acids fight their way out, and I dry heave, coughing and gagging every few seconds.
Once it stops for even a moment, I shift toward the sink and splash water on my face, before dropping my ass to the tile floor. I rest my head in my hands.
In the same second, the door slowly swings open, a water set in front of me.
I shake my head not bothering to look. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?”
“Yes, child.”
“Rolland said he didn’t know. Did he lie?”
When she doesn’t respond, I drop my hands, my head falling back against the wall.
“Did he know?” I say louder this time.
Maybell shakes her head solemnly. “No, he hadn’t a clue.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? You could have protected this family. You should have protected this family. You could have prevented all of this!” I shout.
Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3) Page 19
