With a solemn expression, she lowers herself beside me. She reaches for my hand, but I draw away. It doesn’t deter her, she moves in again, capturing my fingers. “Don’t you see, baby girl,” she whispers, shifting even closer. “That’s what I’ve been doing all along.”
I eye her, not understanding.
“This family, the Brayshaw family. Your mother. You.”
When my brows pull in, she gives a slight nod.
“I was brought here, for her,” she tells me. “I raised your mother from the cradle to the contract, like I helped raise Rolland and his brother. I begged Ravina’s grandfather, your great grandfather, not to offer her like a prize, but I was only the nanny then. I had no voice, but I never left her. When she started staying at the Graven Estate, so did I. I watched her fall in love with Felix, then I watched her heart grow for his brother.
“I spent every moment with her in sight, other than when she was at school. When she was with both Felix and Conner, I was only yards away. Always near. Except the night things changed.”
My eyes slide between hers, but she looks to the water bottle sternly, so I lift it and take a few small drinks. Instantly, the cool liquid leaves a trail of freshness through my body. It swirls in my empty stomach, settling and upsetting it all at once.
“Donley had asked me to escort a young woman from the grounds, he’d fired her.”
“Let me guess, a maid.”
Maybell grows curious, but she nods. “Yes, a maid. A pregnant maid who he’d just fired. He told me to take her to the edge of town and discard her there with the money he allowed her to take and the clothes on her back.” She frowns. “I took her to Rolland instead.”
“Why?”
“Rolland is a good man, Raven, even at eighteen years of age. He was just starting to take on more responsibilities. Your grandfather trusted him to make decisions on his own, and with good reason. I had no doubt he would do what was right.”
I glance away, unsure if I’d agree or not.
Maybell pulls a small, wrapped cookie from her pocket and tears it open. She holds it out for me, eyes intently keeping mine.
“Seriously?”
She only pushes it closer.
With jerky movements, I reach forward, break a small piece off and stick it in my mouth. After I chew it up and swallow, I stick my tongue out to be an asshole.
A hint of a smile covers Maybell’s lips. “When I went back to the Graven Estate, I found your mother on the floor of the shower. She was curled in a small ball, crying. She kept saying she’d betrayed him, she betrayed him, and at first, I thought she meant Felix. Maybe she was with Connor and the guilt ate her up after, but then Conner all but disappeared from her world. Things shifted that night, her and Felix grew even closer, and four months later your mother was gone, but she left something behind, hidden somewhere only I’d ever find.” She tugs a coin purse from her bag and unzips it. She reaches in, pulling out a small, crinkled paper folded into a perfect square.
She hands it over.
Cautiously, I open it – a sonogram photo, the words “it’s a girl” typed along the blackened edges of the printout.
What gets me though is the purple heart encircling the fuzzy image, handwritten and outlined, the words “my baby girl” scribbled beneath it.
She loved me, if even only for a moment.
It happens quicker than I can stop it, a long-broken gasp followed by a full body shudder. Tears pour from my eyes as I fall apart on the bathroom floor.
The door bursts open and Royce rushes in.
“Fuck,” he croaks. He drops beside me, tugging me onto his lap, instantly rocking me back and forth in his arms. The louder I get, the more they tighten. His lips find my hair, his hand brushing against it over and over again, whispering, “It’s okay, RaeRae. Everything will be good.”
But will it?
I was a little girl no one wanted. A little girl that forced another one from her home. From the only place she ever knew and into a world of poverty and drugs, prostitution.
My mother’s body was used, then decided her body was all she was worth and let people pay her to use it.
She came here to save me, in her own fucked up way, and I killed her for it.
I took her life, and then I took her life.
I don’t know how long we sit on the floor of the bathroom before Royce whispers, “You need to escape? I can send someone for your iPod, some weed, anything.”
My heart clenches, his crestfallen eyes flashing before mine.
“It’s gone,” I whisper, pieces of me I didn’t know existed splitting beneath the skin. “He took it.”
Royce tenses against me, then slowly draws back to meet my stare. “What?”
“Maddoc, he took it.”
Royce’s face morphs and he gently shifts back a few inches to see me better. “Maddoc has your iPod?”
I nod.
He sets me on the floor as he climbs to his feet, then pulls me up. He grips my face between his hands. “Come on, RaeRae. You need to sleep.”
I don’t fight him but let him pull me from the room and lead me into Captain’s.
“I’m gonna step outside the door and talk to Bass,” Royce tells me, glaring over at Bass before exiting the room.
I move closer to Captain, ignoring Rolland when his chair scuffs slightly across the floor and he exits, taking Victoria and Maybell with him.
Thankfully, Captain’s bed is wider than a standard hospital bed, so I only have to move a few wires to crawl in beside him.
I close my eyes.
Soft, slow hands run across my arm and my eyes peel open.
The room is dark, the sun gone, but the moon offers a hint of sight.
When the hand brushes once again, my head snaps up, and I gasp.
“Cap.”
“Hey,” Captain rasps.
“You’re awake.” I look into his tired eyes.
He nods. “Been for a while, didn’t wanna wake you though. Royce told me you haven’t been sleeping.” His eyes move between mine. “You okay?”
I can’t help it, I laugh, burying my face back into the crook of his arm again. “Ugh, am I okay?” My head pops back up.
Cap doesn’t grin though, instead growing more concerned.
“Captain, you were shot, twice. By my mom. Are you okay?”
“Raven,” he whispers, his hand coming up to cup my face. “Stop it.” His light eyes roam my face, pausing at my hairline. He moves his fingers up my cheekbone to my forehead and pushes my hair back gently. His features squeeze before coming back to mine. “You saved me,” he whispers.
“You saved me, too.”
Captain stretches his neck, bringing his lips closer. His stare hits mine, a rawness I’ve never seen in them, one that exposes my own in the same second. My eyes move between his a moment, and then the world around us becomes too much, we lean in.
So much pain and sadness wraps around my heart with this single move, and I can sense his just the same. There’s no movement, not exploring, only the firm contact of my lips and his.
He pulls away but keeps the connection between our mouths close. “We could have lost you.”
“I don’t wanna talk about that.”
He nods. “Is she...”
“I’d say she won’t cause us any more trouble but knowing her she still might.” Her watery eyes flash before me. “Even without a beating heart.”
He pulls me close, so I drop my head back beside him and he continues to run his hand across my arm.
Several minutes pass when I finally start talking again.
“She thought you were Graven,” I admit. “That’s why she came. That’s why she shot you before she realized shooting me would be easier.”
“She sold you to my dad. Why freak out about it now?”
“Royce asked the same question.” I tilt my head up to look at him. “Maybe your dad never planned to give me to them. Maybe he had good intentions, and his way of letting me kn
ow was giving me my knife, but things changed, and he had to use what he could to protect his family.” I give a small smile and Cap’s eyes drop from mine. “I wasn’t family yet, Zoey was. It’s what anyone would have done.”
He’s quiet a long moment before he says, “I was so sure Mallory got pregnant on purpose, try to lock herself in, you know? But then it didn’t make sense because she got pregnant and left. She didn’t even want her, didn’t try to trade her to me. Nothing.”
“Maybe she did trick you, planning to go to Collins all along but Perkins found out first and made her a deal she couldn’t walk away from.”
“I don’t know.”
I look up at him. “Only one way to find out.”
He eyes me. “He’s not my father, Raven.”
“I know, and he’s gone, just so you know. I made him leave, told him he could only come back if you asked him to directly, so packman, yet again it’s on your shoulders to open up the conversation.”
His hand comes up and he runs his thumb across my cheek. “Always pushing me to be stronger.”
“Not stronger,” I whisper. “Certain. I want you to want to share who you are and what’s going on in your head. You sit back, you study, you discover, but you don’t volunteer anything past the eye.”
“Neither do you.”
“I’m different. I don’t have to say it. What you see is what you get.”
He shakes his head. “Nobody could ever look at you and see all you are. How could they when you don’t see it in yourself?”
I look away, but he draws my eyes back to his.
“I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“Go see Zoey.”
My face goes slack, and I start to shake my head but stop when he begs.
“Please. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen her. I can’t FaceTime her, not until these fucking tubes are out and I can put a real shirt on at least. She might only be shy of three, but she’s intuitive.”
“Like her daddy,” I whisper.
His grip tightens. “Please do this.”
“She doesn’t even know me, Cap.”
“She will. I need her to feel wanted. She will if you show up wanting to play with her. Please.”
Not wanting to disappoint him, I start to agree when Royce suddenly appears.
“I want to do it.”
Our heads snap toward him, and a small smile takes over my lips.
His eyes are sloped at the edges as he stares at his brother.
“Hey, man,” Cap says.
Royce nods, smashing his lips to the side as he steps closer. “Oh, we’re bright-eyed today huh, fucker?” he teases. “And still as pretty as a Ken doll, brother. Even in the fucked up looking rag they’ve got on ya.” He grins.
Cap starts to chuckle, but it cuts off on a hiss. He picks up a little button thing at his side and presses it.
“What is that?” I ask him.
“Nurse said it releases medicine when I push it, but it won’t allow me to overdo it.”
I nod, looking to the IV drip beside him.
Royce leans over, kissing my forehead, then pushes his forehead against Captain’s before he stands.
“You need something?” Royce asks him.
Cap nods, the corner of his lips lifting.
“Let me go see Zoey,” Royce says. “She met me already. I can play ball with her, show her some pics of you on my phone or something.”
“Royce hasn’t left since you got here,” I tell Captain.
“I could use the fresh air, and I’m pretty sure I’m her new favorite anyway.”
Captain shakes his head goodheartedly, then reaches out to grip his hand. “She’d love that. Maybe Maddoc will go with you?”
When Royce’s glare shifts over Cap’s head, Cap looks to me wearily.
“What?” he draws out slowly.
“We haven’t seen him since he walked out of the school that day. We can’t find him.”
Captain’s stare flies to Royce who avoids my eyes.
He licks his lips, running his hand down his mouth quickly. “Yeah, we uh, everyone’s looking for him.”
Captain’s head drops back against the pillow and he nods.
His blinks get slower, longer, and I know he’s about to knock out again, so I hit the nurse’s call switch.
She enters right as the grip of Cap’s fingers lessens, his hand falling to my side.
I gently shift to stand, my eyes narrowing on Royce who scratches the back of his head as he steps back.
“Royce.”
“If I go, you need to make sure you stay here. We can’t both leave him here.”
“Royce.”
“And here.” He continues to ignore me, pulling a phone from his pocket, pushing it into my chest. “I’m tired of not being able to call you when I need to.”
“I don’t want to be reachable at all times.”
This time his eyes slice to mine. “Too fucking bad, Raven,” he growls in my face. “You wanna run off, handle shit without me, with Bass fucking Bishop, fucking fine. Do your thing, but you’ll do it where I can at least breathe while you’re gone.”
My heartstrings tighten. “Royce.” I step closer, placing my hand on his chest.
His eyes soften.
“I don’t wanna do anything without you, but I needed you here with Captain. He needed you more than I did.”
“Why is that?” Royce whispers. “How come you don’t need me like you need them?” His dark eyes turn somber. “Do I not make you feel the same way they do?”
My chest compresses. “Why would you say that?”
“You left me here, baby girl.” He tucks my hair behind my ears. “Went off on your own, trusted someone else to have your back. I’d die for you, Raven, without a second thought.”
“Exactly,” I whisper, and his brows pull in. “I took Maddoc from this family, thought I took Cap. How could I live with myself if I took you, too? You were all that was left standing, and I needed you to stay that way. I needed to know if I came back to find Maddoc gone forever, Cap never waking up, I’d still have you.” I swallow. “You think you can’t live without me? Well, I would refuse to without you.”
Deep creases take over Royce’s forehead and he gives a curt nod before tugging me against him. After a moment, his chest inflates with a deep inhale, his warm exhale helping my muscles relax.
I squeeze him tighter.
“I love you, RaeRae.”
“I know, and I love you too.” I pull back, looking up at him.
He slips the phone in my palm, closing my fingers around it. “You need to set a password, do it soon. It’s got a ton of apps, enough to keep you busy trying to learn it while I’m gone.”
“It’s two in the morning, Royce. She’s sleeping.”
He looks away. “I’ll be there to cook Zoey pancakes.”
“Does she like pancakes?”
He looks to the floor. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll stop, get a chocolate sprinkle donut and maple bar, huh? She can pick which she likes better?” He gives a small smile.
I nod. “I got twenty dollars on the maple bar.”
He gives a small chuckle, looks to Captain then spins for the door.
“Don’t tell him about my mom,” I rush out.
Royce’s entire body tenses, his hand freezing on the door.
Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t blink, forcing them to dry where they sit.
After a minute his head drops, and he gives a regretful nod.
He found him.
As soon as he exits, I let out a harsh breath, my hands flying to my temples.
“You should be careful.”
I whip around at the nurse’s soft words, my eyes narrowing.
Fuck, I’d forgotten she was in here.
“What the fuck did you say?”
Her face drains of its color.
“I wasn’t... I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to—”
“To thre
aten me?”
Her eyes widen. “That’s not what I was doing, I swear Mrs. Brayshaw. I only meant the anxiety. You have a lot going on, more than I’m aware of, I’m sure. High levels of stress can cause many problems.”
With a roll of my eyes, I look away, heading for the door. “Trust me, this is nothing new.”
“Raven,” she calls before I can exit fully.
I glance over my shoulder.
“This wing was built on Bray donations. This is essentially yours, as are the staff within it. We are very good with discretion.” She offers a small smile.
“It’s Rae, and I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, lady.”
I push past the door, spotting Victoria the second I round the corner.
She pops from her seat, meeting me halfway. “Hey.”
“He woke up again, I think he was awake for a while before I even realized.”
A sharp exhale leaves her. “That’s awesome.”
“I don’t think he’ll go in and out so much anymore. Pretty sure it was the pain meds that knocked this time.”
She eyes me, nodding lightly. “Royce said he’d be back later.”
I nod, dropping onto the sofa she was on, and she moves to sit beside me again. “He knows where Maddoc is.”
Her eyes widen. “And you’re sitting here?”
“He didn’t tell me, I guessed.”
“And still... you’re sitting here?” she draws out.
“What am I supposed to do?” My eyes slide to hers. “Go find him, beg him to come home, yell at him for lying to me and saying if I married his brother, he wouldn’t leave them only to leave the same fucking day he found out I did what he said he wanted, what he begged me to do?”
“That’s exactly what you do,” she snaps.
I shake my head, dropping it back on the couch. “Then what, Vee? He comes home and is forced to watch everything that follows?”
She’s quiet a minute before she slowly shifts on the seat, twisting her body to face me. “What do you mean, everything that follows?”
My brows pull in and I look to her.
“Raven...” She shakes her head. “You just burned the Graven Estate to the ground. You took control. You found out things you never knew, things that could change—”
“Change what, Victoria?” I glare at her. “And what things did I find out, huh? Because I haven’t shared a fucking word yet, have I?”
Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3) Page 20
