The Lady and Tay

by Dawn Burton

  Annie accessed the wifi settings, adding him, then downloading an app and signing in, verifying his account. “Ok, so if you have your phone on you, the gate and front door will just open for you now automatically, otherwise you’ll need the swipe card. And you can control all the security cameras, door and gate access, plus all the lights, bi-fold doors, heating, all the other smart toys from this. And you can approve guests on the list if you want to invite someone now. The rest of it, you’ll pick up as you go.”

  He shook his head, a bit bewildered by it all, and she laughed at him. “Right, I can see your lot are coming through the gates now. Rich will check them in, then can you shepherd them over to the kitchen table, which is my usual hangout space. There are drinks in the kitchen fridges for them, toilets are there, and if you search for the Watch House Sonos network, any of you can add songs to the playlist. Although me and Will reserve the right to delete any shit song choices. It’s also an open invite if anyone wants to get up on stage and play, either along with a song, or with your own choice. Just let Will know and he’ll sort it. Will!” She waved at the guy Taylor had seen earlier.

  Will bounded up, “Hi, it’s Taylor, isn’t it? Love your stuff, man. I’m Will, sound and lights guy. Anything you need to know and Annie isn’t around, just let me know.”

  “Will’s a support worker, but he loves all things music as well and has done a couple of sound production courses, so he’s pretty handy to have around.”

  Taylor shook Will’s hand. “This place is amazing. It’s like its own little industry.”

  “All thanks to Lady A. She has a knack of bringing people together and making things happen. Everyone falls a little in love with her and suddenly nothing is impossible.”

  Taylor eyed up Will; was he a little in love with her? Annie cut in, “Thanks for the glowing endorsement, but get back to work now. I don’t pay you to hang around, checking out my man and eyeing him up. He’s mine, I saw him first and I’ve claimed him. Go on, go!” waving him off with a flick of her hand, the evident affection in her voice showing this was their normal level of banter.

  “Bitch!” Will headed back to his dj booth with a flick of his hand in return.

  “Your man?” questioned Taylor with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

  “Yep. Just marking my territory by pissing on you so Will doesn’t sniff around. That ok?” She put her arms around his neck.

  “Any time, sweetheart.” He bent his head to kiss her and squeeze her arse, when a flood of general noise and cheers came from behind them; Taylor’s party had turned up and the next few minutes were taken with Rich checking them in and then Taylor directing them to the kitchen area as though this had always been his home.

  Annie had disappeared and Taylor looked round to see her up on stage, talking to Will. The music stopped and she sat down at a piano. He blinked; he didn’t realise she played. She started a cover of a song he recognised, Sigma and Birdie’s Find Me. He watched amazed as she expertly played and sang, captivating the growing crowd in the verses, and then exploding to life and jumping around the stage as the chorus kicked in, Will controlling the lights and backing track. Davy and Connor came up behind him.

  “She’s good, isn’t she?” boasted Davy, like a proud older brother.

  Con clapped him on his shoulder. “She’s fucking amazing, not just good. I would ask if you’ve done the deed yet, but anyone can see it shining out of you. It’s official then, you and the Lady? Lady and the tramp. Lady Chatterley’s lover. Lady-”

  “Alright!” Taylor cut in. “Yes, yes, it’s official. And I agree, she’s fucking amazing, on all levels.”

  “Lucky man. But spare us the detail of how your balls swung, though. I gotta work with her and I don’t want the image of your hairy arse doing her in my head.” Davy shoulder-barged him.

  “Shut up,” Taylor frowned, not wanting them to be talking about Annie like that.

  “Seriously, I’m really happy for you, and Sash’ll be made up to have another girl around.” Connor smiled at him

  Taylor smiled at the thought of his girl and Con’s wife, Sasha, bonding on tour. Sasha did their styling and was like a sister to the rest of them.

  “Hey, she could come on tour with us and sing the ‘My Life Is Yours’ duet, and play piano,” said Con excitedly.

  “She’s got her own life here,” murmured Taylor, wishing it could be. He watched her finish her song, applauded her loudly, and beamed proudly as she leapt off the stage and ran over to where he was, opening his arms wide to receive her. “You’re stunning, sweetheart. Can’t believe you can play the piano like that. Anything else I should know, performance-wise?”

  “Erm, bit rusty on the violin but used to be ok, and I can play a mean tin whistle!”

  “I shall keep that in mind!” He lowered his voice to whisper in her ear. “You are so talented. You were amazing, and fucking sexy up there, in control, claiming the stage, and commanding your audience. You’ve made me so hard and I can’t wait to take you to bed later.”

  Annie shivered at his words. She’d loved being up there. It was what she did, week in, week out, to get her ego fix in front of her friends, but to do it in front of Taylor and all of his experience had scared her a little. To hear he thought she was ok, even if he was exaggerating, was such a relief.

  She stepped back, intending to get a good look at her man and tell him how happy she was, but she felt a tug on her shoulder and turned to see Pete, a local lad in his late 20s who’d had some moderate chart success a few years ago. He was her friend but, if she was being bitchy, which she tried not to be, he was a bit over-bearing at times.

  Pete pulled on her hand, “C’mon crazy lady, will you come and sing Two Door Cinema Club’s What You Know with me? Please? Hey, Taylor, how are you? Nice to see you. I’ll come back and speak in a minute once me and the party animal have done our thing.”

  Taylor stiffened as he spoke. He’d met Pete before, given him some advice even, but calling his girl crazy? A party animal? Nah, that wasn’t cool. But should he step in and say something? Or leave it to Annie to reply? His anxiety flared again, and he didn’t know if she would want him to interfere. He saw her flinch and crick her neck; shit, he knew that meant she wasn’t happy. He took a breath, but in slow motion, he saw her turn and nod her head at Pete. He grabbed at her hand and she squeezed his fingers, her eyes flashing something at him; an apology? an SOS? He didn’t know her well enough to know what to do, and she slipped away from him to go back up to the stage. Had he failed her at this first test?

  He watched them set up, chatting to Will, taking their places, Annie staying back until the song reached the chorus for her to step forward and steal the limelight from Pete, the so-called professional. They finished, took their applause and then Annie ran from the stage, holding Pete’s hand, but dropping it as she reached Taylor, and he picked her up, swinging her around. Pete frowned as they kissed, and the penny dropped that Annie and Taylor were together.

  Annie squealed as she saw a friend in the distance and patted Taylor’s arm. “I’ll be back in a minute,” and she was off.

  He turned to Pete who was looking gutted. Time to make up for his earlier inaction. “Hey, Pete. How are you? You know my girl, Annie, then? Look, don’t mean to sound like a shit, but don’t do the whole ‘crazy lady, party animal’ thing, yeah? She’s hearing it a lot at the moment and it’s getting to her a bit.”

  “I…I didn’t realise you knew her? I’ve spent time with her for six months now and she’s never mentioned you. She…I…I was hoping something might happen with me and her, but no, of course not, I mean, why would she choose me when she’s got multi-millionaire Taylor Anderson to manoeuvre her into bed,” he said bitterly.

  “Whoa, stop there. Firstly, she has her own money and if you think she’s the sort of woman who chases more money, then you absolutely do not know her at all. And secondly, you’re doing her a grave disservice by assuming she is not in control of her own sexuality and can
be ‘manoeuvred’ into bed by anyone. She chooses who does and who doesn’t get into her bed.” Taylor didn’t mean to sound quite so harsh; he liked Pete; but this was Annie they were talking about, and she came above all others. Even if he’d only met her a matter of hours ago.

  Pete shook his head and stepped back. “I…I’m sorry. Just tell her bye and I’ll see her soon. Just…just look after her.”

  “I will, mate, I will. I promise. She means the world to me, I promise you.”

  Taylor watched as Pete walked away, feeling sorry for him, but turning to search Annie out, finding her, moving towards her like a heat-seeking missile, then wrapping his arms around her, claiming her as she’d claimed him. The evening passed by with time measured by whether she was with him, touching him, in which case it flew by, or whether she was off, socialising, sorting issues, or dealing with queries from her teens, in which case it dragged.

  All he knew, as he sat with his friends, watching her move across the room back to him, was he hadn’t felt this alive for years, since before the drugs took over, since before Charlie-, no, don’t go there, don’t fall into the black hole, he told himself, pushing the anxiety down and pasting on the mask quickly. But then she came back to him and freaked him out by stroking his face, staring at him puzzled, asking what was wrong, was he ok, that he didn’t seem right. Shit, no, no, don’t let her see the cracks. Be normal. Be normal. Breathe. Breathe. Smile, kiss, distract, distract, breathe. She had to leave him to speak to Rich, and Con grabbed him, hauling him outside to the courtyard where the smokers were huddled.

  “Tay. C’mon man, calm down.” Con held him close, talking him through the fear, talking him down, as he’d done so many times.

  “Charlie, Con, Charlie. Why?”

  “I know, mate, I know, But you need to move on. You’re alive and living. You’ve got something so good starting here. Don’t fuck it up. C’mon.”

  And then she was there, touching his arm. “I’m not here to interfere. I just wanted to say you don’t need to explain anything. Just take your time, whatever’s going on. Do whatever you need to, to get through this, Taylor. Life isn’t always as wonderful and colourful as it was earlier this evening. Real life is both stunningly beautiful and paralysingly shit, full of ups and downs, so if you’re suddenly in a down, just hold on and the colour will come back. Do you need anything?”

  He shook his head, aware of Con moving to his side, and murmured voices between him and Annie. He concentrated on breathing and bit by bit, the panic came under control and receded, until he was back to normal. Or as normal as he could be. Normal enough to pretend. Annie, he needed to see her, to apologise. He twisted in his seat and saw them still chatting. He rose, and nodded at Con. “I’m so sorry, Annie. I have panic attacks and I just got lost in one. I’m ok now.”

  She nodded slowly, but he saw the doubt in her eyes. He knew she knew he wasn’t ok. He knew she knew he was lying to her already. He was back to lying, denying, hiding. All the things he didn’t want to do. Shit, what a mess.

  “Annie. You’ve made me so happy today, but I have some stuff I thought I was dealing with. I…it’s too soon to dump all this on you. I’m so sorry I’m bringing this shit into your night. You’ve been nothing short of amazing and I don’t deserve you. I’m a 40-something mess and you’re a powerful force of nature that will shake up everyone you come into contact with. I think I should go now before I ruin your night any more, but I’d like to see you in the morning, to explain if you want to listen,” he sobbed as his legs gave way and he grabbed at Connor who held him up. Annie stepped aside, the tears streaming down her face as some of Taylor’s party surrounded him and bundled him away from her, shattering both their dreams of how this perfect night was supposed to end.

  Davy came to her and pulled her close. “I’m so sorry, Annie. If I didn’t think he was back on track, I would never have let you meet. We all thought he was better. We all thought he’d moved on.”

  “From what?” cried Annie. “It feels like everyone but me knows what’s going on here.”

  Davy sighed. “It’s not my story to tell, love. But it’s tied up with things that happened to him in the past. Things that he has no answers for why they happened, so he can’t get closure and he can’t move on and his mind goes into a spiral. He’s a good guy; he really is. But this, this is his demon, and I’m sorry you’ve got dragged into it. I don’t know what triggered him, but maybe he’ll have more answers in the morning.”

  “I let him in, Davy. I let him in, and I don’t do that. Ever.”

  Davy kissed the top of her head softly, “I know.”

  “Was it me? Did I do something that triggered him? Was it what we…did…this evening?”

  “I don’t know. I wish I could say it was x or y, but I don’t know. Con knows him better than me now and he’s with him, so he’ll make sure he’s ok. He’s got a lot of making up to do tomorrow, or I’m gonna kick his arse.”

  Annie shook her head. “No, Davy. If it’s a panic attack, he can’t control this.” She pulled away, rubbing her arms. “I’m gonna speak to Will and Rich, then I’m going to bed. I’m done for the night.”

  Davy watched her go, shaking his head at his idiot of a friend for fucking this up. Why did Taylor always make things so difficult for himself? Why couldn’t he just be normal for once?

  Chapter Three

  Annie woke at 7am after what seemed like just five minutes of sleep. An endless night of tossing and turning, crying for herself, for Taylor, and too much over-thinking. She’d messaged him to say she was thinking of him, but she’d got a reply from Con’s phone saying Taylor was asleep, but he was keeping an eye on him, and to message him if she ever tried Taylor and didn’t get a reply. He’d checked she was alright, which she thought was sweet for someone she barely knew. At least Taylor’s got him on his side, she thought.

  She relived every single moment in her head of Taylor touching her body, of every conversation they’d had. He’d brought her alive and she wasn’t sure how she would feel if she never felt his touch, touched him, heard him, saw him, tasted him and smelled his scent ever again. She’d spent years building barriers, and he brought them down in a matter of hours but had left her exposed and feeling so alone when he had to leave. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so lonely as she had last night, well, not since she’d got her shit together anyway.

  Her phone pinged, waking her out of her thoughts, her heart leaping in case it was him. It was!

  Taylor: I don’t even know where to begin, but I just need to make sure u r ok?

  Annie: I’m ok...as long as you don’t use text speak with me ;) But you need to be thinking of yourself before you think of anyone else.

  Taylor: Oh, sorry, Miss! But, yes, I know. And I swear to you, I thought I was past this shit. I am so mortified that I dragged you into this.

  Annie: Sorry to pry, but was it us? Was it the sex? Was it me?

  Taylor: No, nothing you did, I promise. But maybe my response to what we did. I was so happy for the first time in a long time and realising that made me think about why I haven’t been happy, and that made my head spin.

  Taylor: Have I fucked this up, Annie? Can I see you? Tell you about me? I’ll tell you it all. Or is it too late? I want to see you so badly, but I understand if you want space, time, whatever. It’s your call x

  Annie sighed, thinking about it. Yesterday had been so perfect until it all went wrong. Could they get back to that? She didn’t really know this guy. She didn’t owe him anything. Maybe it was just easier to walk away.

  Annie: I’m sorry. I wish you well, but I think it’s best to remember our perfect moment and leave it at that. Look after yourself x

  Her finger hovered over the send icon. She reread it. It was the sensible thing to do. So why did it feel wrong in her gut? Her heart sped up, taking over as the driver for action from her head.

  She deleted the message.

  Annie: I’ll listen if you want to come r
ound and talk. No promises beyond that.

  She sent it and exhaled shakily. But it felt right, to talk at least.

  Taylor: Can I come now?

  Annie: Only if you bring me a bacon and egg muffin with hash brown ;)

  Taylor: On my way x

  Annie sat up. Where to chat to him? Bed felt relaxed, but too personal. Not in the lobby, they needed privacy. Downstairs, in her kitchen? Yes. She quickly dressed; jeans, t-shirt, attempted to gather her curls up into a messy ponytail, gave up and then headed downstairs.

  She messaged Will, asking him to keep an eye out for Adam and to talk to him if he was in the mood to chat, otherwise she’d try later.

  She put the kettle on to make a cup of tea and checked her phone again. She wasn’t sure where he was coming from to know how long he’d be.

  She set the app to notify her when he got here and she moved to her dining table, looking out at her small private courtyard and kitchen garden, lost in her thoughts. She felt like crying again at the unfairness of things just not going right for her for once, but that was childish. Grow up Belly, she told herself, using her hated school nickname. Her phone buzzed to show Taylor had come through the gate, and he called her at the same time.

  She answered as she walked through to the lobby, hearing his deep voice in her ear, “Hi, I’m just coming up to the front door, laden with as many extra hash browns as you can possibly eat.”