Despised: A Reverse Harem Academy Bully Romance (Dukes of Dunwich Book 1)

by Payton Reed

  When she could breathe again, she laid her head against his shoulder. He kissed her ear and sucked on her lobe. “I want to have sex with you. Make love.” He breathed lightly against her ear as his hand left her pants. “Do you want that?”

  She nodded, incapable of speech. She wanted to tell him she meant not yet, not until they talked, but then he nudged up her mouth and kissed her again. This kiss was full of longing and need between them. The orgasm had only taken the edge off her desire for him. She could feel herself trembling, so tempted to give in to what they both wanted without telling him the truth first.

  They were on a path of inevitability to a conclusion she’d promised herself she wouldn’t reach yet when she heard a gasp. She looked up, and her mouth dropped open as she hastily lifted her bra to hide her breast. Jonas stood there, looking devastated. She immediately asked the wrong question, and she knew it, wincing as she said, “What are you doing here?”

  “I thought I could come see you for a while.” He was wearing a costume, which included a full skull mask, perched on top of his head. “I thought I could slip in and no one would know it was me.”

  When Manion did it, the idea was creepy, but it was a sweet gesture from Jonas, and she blinked as tears filled her eyes. “That’s really sweet. I like that idea.”

  “Apparently not, since you’re out here with him.” Jonas glared at Lex.

  She slanted a look at Lex, who was somewhere between confused and glaring as well. “I’m so sorry.”

  Jonas looked at her, as did Lex. “For what?” asked Lex.

  “Isn’t it obvious, Sperry? She’s been dating both of us.” Jonas looked distraught, and his tone was angry. His body was tense, but she never had the feeling that he was on the verge of attacking either one of them. He just seemed like he was having a difficult time dealing with the reality of her betrayal. It must feel like he had when Stasia dumped him and then got engaged a few weeks later, indicating she’d probably been cheating on him the whole time they were together.

  Lex scooted back from her, his hands dropping away. “Is that true?”

  She took a moment to right her blouse and button it before looking up at him. “It is. I didn’t mean to not tell either one of you. I like you both so much.” She turned to look at Jonas, trying to convey her sincerity. “I mean it. I want both of you, so much. I know it wasn’t right to not tell you, but I was scared.”

  “Why? I’d never hurt you.” Jonas looked appalled at the idea.

  Lex snorted. “You weren’t scared. You just figured you’d get away with it.”

  She flinched at the accusation, uncertain if maybe there was an element of truth to it. “I kept putting off telling you, so maybe you’re right. Maybe I would’ve put it off as long as I could, but the only reason I did is because I can’t choose between either one of you. I really like you both.” She sniffled as she looked up again, meeting Lex’s gaze before turning her head to meet Jonas’s. “I really mean it.”

  “That’s just great then. My girlfriend likes another guy as much as she likes me. I feel so special,” said Lex with heavy sarcasm.

  She could’ve pointed out there weren’t any labels between them, and she wasn’t certain she’d been his girlfriend, but that was disingenuous. When she was with Lex or Jonas, she was with them. They might not have labels, but she knew they both cared about her as much as she cared about them. She wasn’t going to fuel their anger by insisting on semantics. “I’m sorry,” she said again, feeling about an inch tall. She’d known this could happen, and was in fact likely to, so she had only herself to blame.

  “You have to choose,” said Jonas firmly.

  She looked up at him, trying to fight back a wave of betrayal at the demand. He clearly didn’t understand or believe the depth of her feelings for both of them. “I—”

  “The logical choice would be me,” said Lex. “I’m a student, just like she is. If people find out you’re with her, you’ll get fired.”

  Alarmed, Willow turned to Lex, reaching out a hand for him, though he brushed it away. “You can’t tell anyone. Please don’t get Jonas in trouble. This is my fault, not his.”

  “I’m not threatening him. I’m just saying that I’m the logical choice.” Lex looked angry. “Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I want to be in the running though.”

  She wasn’t convinced he meant those words, believing he was just lashing out in anger, but they still hurt. Her gaze alternated between them, finding identical resolute expressions. If it hadn’t been for their looks being so different, they could’ve been twins at that moment, bearing the same expressions of anger and betrayal.

  With a shaky breath, she got to her feet and started backing away. “I’m sorry. I never meant to cause any trouble between you guys. I know you are friends, and I didn’t mean to hurt either one of you. I can’t choose, so I…” She trailed off with a small sob.

  “You have to,” said Jonas again, crossing his arms over his muscular chest. “I’m not going to share you with him. You’ve already been cheating on me. If you really care about me, then pick me.”

  Her eyes watered, and tears rushed down her cheeks. “That’s the problem. I really care about both of you. I can’t choose. I won’t, so I guess it’s neither of you. That’s the only solution.” With a sob, she turned and ran, noticing neither one of them called her back. That hurt almost as much as having to end things with them, but she couldn’t blame them for their anger.

  She’d deceived both of them, even if it was by omission rather than a blatant falsehood. She should’ve told them both weeks ago how she felt as her feelings started to develop, and she wouldn’t be in this mess now. If she had to make a choice, then the choice would be none, and she’d have to live with that.

  She only hoped she hadn’t hurt either one of them too deeply, that their heart wasn’t breaking like hers was that moment. Hopefully, she was the only one who felt like she’d been torn in half.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Lex

  Lex watched her run away, hesitating with her name on the tip of his tongue to call her back. He couldn’t bring himself to do so as pain squeezed through his chest like a vise. He cared about her, even more than he’d realized. Seeing her run away in tears hurt as much as it would’ve if someone had literally stabbed him through the heart. He had every right to be angry at her deception, but he felt guilty as she ran off, clearly heartbroken.

  When he looked at Jonas, who still looked upset, he was clearly also as angry as Lex, but he also seemed to be feeling guilt. There was remorse in his gaze. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

  Lex nodded. “I didn’t either. I just can’t believe she did this though. She didn’t tell me about you. How could she be with you when she’s with me? I thought she was starting to really care about me.”

  Jonas sighed and came over to sit down on the bench, taking the spot Willow had previously occupied, though he didn’t get nearly as close. “I thought the same thing. It felt like I was falling in love with her, and she was falling in love with me.”

  “Yeah.” That was it exactly. Lex shook his head. “How can she fake it like that with both of us and make it feel so real?”

  Jonas jerked his head up, frowning. “She wasn’t faking.”

  Lex made a sound of disgust. “She had to have been if she was doing it with both of us.”

  Jonas frowned. “I don’t think she was faking it. I think she genuinely felt everything I thought she was feeling, and everything I’m feeling. She’s just able to feel it with more than one person.” He seemed confused by that.

  Lex couldn’t understand, feeling confused as well. “How could she really love us if she actually loves both of us? I mean, I don’t know if she loves me, but I thought maybe she was going that direction, like me.” He lifted a hand to run through his hair. “It felt like that’s where we were heading, you know?”

  Jonas nodded in commiseration. “It sure did. Still does though. I don’t think she l
oves me any less just because she loves you too.”

  Lex couldn’t tell if Jonas was trying to comfort him, or if he was trying to justify Willow’s actions. “She’s certainly convincing, but I don’t understand how she can love two people.”

  “We love more than two people, don’t we?” Jonas seemed to be thoughtful. “I mean, I love my friends and family, though I love them all differently. I have a different kind of relationship with my mom than I do with my dad, for example, but I don’t love either one of them any less. Do you think it could be the same for her?”

  Lex couldn’t deny there was a stirring of hope in his breast. “You really think she loves both of us, and it’s not just some game she’s playing?”

  Jonas shrugged. “I don’t know, but what I know of her isn’t consistent with her being a tease going around seducing everyone. She looked genuinely upset and hurting when she told us the truth.”

  “She didn’t tell us. We discovered it ourselves. Big difference.” Lex couldn’t hide the anger in his tone.

  Jonas nodded. “That’s true too. I’m angry, but I’m also hurting at the idea of not being with her anymore. Are you feeling the same?”

  Lex couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with a potential rival, but Jonas was the only one who might understand how he felt. “I definitely don’t want to lose her.” He put his hand on his chest, rubbing absently, as another pang shot through it. “But what are you thinking? I mean, how could we ever make this work? She’s refused to choose.”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t ask her to then. Maybe at some point, she’ll choose, or maybe she’ll want to be with both of us for however long this thing lasts. I guess we need to ask ourselves, is it worth sharing her to have her?” Jonas didn’t seem like he’d quite decided, but if his thoughts had veered that way, it indicated he was considering the idea.

  Lex hesitated for a long moment, not wanting to give the answer that sprang to mind. It felt weak and wrong to share his woman, but it also felt wrong to lose whatever he was building with her because he couldn’t fathom the idea of sharing.

  He slanted a glance at Jonas, knowing he was a good guy. He’d always been friendly with Lex since his first day at the academy, and he could see why he appealed to Willow. At least he wasn’t a jerk. “I need to give it some thought, but I don’t want to lose her.”

  “Me neither. We should definitely think about this.” Jonas nodded decisively, and the two of them drifted into silence.

  Lex was lost in thought, wondering if he could really stand to share Willow’s love with another, but just as distraught at the idea of the relationship being over. What was he going to do? He could appreciate her difficulty in choosing between the two of them, as he was facing this difficult choice himself—either have half of her love or none of her love.

  But if Jonas was correct, it wasn’t half her love. She loved him in a different way than she loved Jonas, or she might, if/when she fell completely in love with him.

  He cautioned himself to pull back, not wanting to cloud his thoughts with the “L” word. They hadn’t even discussed whether they were boyfriend and girlfriend, let alone gotten to the stage of trading those three little words. For now, he needed to figure out if he wanted to hang on to her and see if they reached that point, knowing she also had affection for Jonas, or if he wanted to walk away.

  The smart thing to do was walk away. That was the conventional choice, but Lex had never been one to make a decision just because it was conventional. “I don’t want to be without her,” he finally said.

  “Me neither.” Jonas was silent for a moment. “Are we agreed?”

  Lex looked up. “About sharing her?” At Jonas’s nod, he nodded as well. “Yeah, I guess we are. I’m not sure how it will work, but I’m willing to try.”

  “Me too.” Jonas exhaled.

  “I’ll tell her,” said Lex as he stood up.

  Jonas nodded. “I wish I could be there, but I know that would raise too many eyebrows. I might check in at the dance in a bit to see if you’re both there.”

  Lex knew he could twist the narrative to imply Jonas had given up any stake, but he banished the idea as he stood up and followed Willow, who’d disappeared from sight. All she’d have to do was ask Jonas, and he had no doubt she’d stop seeing him if she thought he’d lied or manipulated her. The thought of her dumping him for lying was ironic, considering she’d hidden her feelings for both of them from each other, but he didn’t dwell on that.

  Instead, he looked around the dance but didn’t see her. He bumped into a bumblebee who was trying to pry herself out of her dance partner’s arms. He paused long enough to intercede, putting a hand on the ghoul’s shoulder. “She looks like she’s done dancing, buddy.”

  The ghoul grunted at him but didn’t respond, other than to turn away.

  “Thanks,” said the bumblebee who looked young enough to be a first year. “He was getting way too pushy.”

  Lex nodded and started to go on before pausing. “Did you see an aviatrix come this way?”

  She shook her head before turning to her friends, who were moving toward them.

  Figuring she had gone to her room; Lex abandoned the dance and went to the dorms. There was a girl in the rec room who agreed to get Willow for him, so he waited in the third-floor rec room for her to appear.

  She looked like she’d been crying. Lex couldn’t hold back the urge to move closer, wrapping his arms around her. She remained stiff for a second before melting into his embrace. He held her as she cried softly before pressing a kiss to her temple. “We’re okay with you not choosing,” he whispered near her ear.

  Once more, Willow stiffened, pulling back. “How…?”

  Lex shrugged a shoulder, looking down and losing himself in the blueness of her eyes. “We agreed. We both lo… care too much about you to give you up or hurt you by forcing you to choose. If you can really be with both of us and not like one better than the other, we’re willing to try.”

  She sniffled. “Really?”

  He lifted a hand to gently wipe her cheek with his thumb before tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear. “Yeah.”

  Once more, Willow sniffed before pressing her face against his chest. When she lifted her head a moment later, her lips part softly.

  Lex accepted the unspoken invitation, kissing her as enthusiastically as he dared in the public space. It was difficult to move away from her a moment later. “Do you want to go back to the dance?”

  After a second, she nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  “There might even be a skeleton hanging around to dance with,” he said with a wink, surprised at how easy it was to talk about the idea of her dancing with Jonas too, knowing there was more to it than just dancing. He held out her hand, and she put hers in his. Everything felt right with the world as they walked down the stairs together.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Dalton

  Dalton couldn’t control the surge of jealousy that went through him when he saw Willow leaving with Lex. Wanting to do everything in his power to prevent them from having too much time alone, he’d followed them. Watching them kiss had been an excruciating kind of torture, and he was on the verge of interrupting them when Jonas appeared.

  His anger only grew as he listened to the three of them talk before, she ran off. He could empathize with Lex and Jonas’s point-of-view and shocked sense of betrayal, but it was even worse for him to feel betrayed and blindsided, since he didn’t have any kind of official claim on her. He’d known she was flirting with Jonas and Lex, so why was he so shocked to hear confirmation?

  From where he stood behind a corner of the building closest to them, he heard every word Lex and Jonas exchanged, his mouth dropping open with shock when they both agreed to try sharing her. He shook his head, blown away by their choice. There was no way he would share Willow if she was looking at him the way she looked at either one of them—and he was certain she would look at him that way once he got past
her barriers.

  He’d tried steering clear of her. His hope had been that if he avoided her, that would work her out of his system naturally. He’d even lost a lot of his resentment for her being at his school and in his life over the last few weeks as he tried to put her out of his mind. That all came roaring back now, but this resentment was for an entirely different reason.

  He followed Lex as the other guy searched for Willow. Dalton was tempted to find her first and state his case, but he wasn’t certain he was logical enough to do so. He was angry and on the edge of losing control. When he found Willow, he wasn’t likely to be too eloquent. He just wanted to lose himself in the softness of her skin and extract the promise that she was his. Only his.

  Lex moved to her dorm after the incident with the bumblebee and the ghoul. He hung back but followed closely enough to know where Lex went. He waited in the stairwell, listening to what he could hear of their conversation when she came to the rec room. He grew angrier as he picked up bits and pieces. She seemed to be accepting with pleasure his news that he and Jonas would share.

  As he heard them coming his way, he rushed down the stairs and hid in the shadows with his back turned as they moved past him on the first floor, not looking at him. They were too busy holding hands and staring at each other like lovesick fools.

  When they moved past him, he had to fight the urge to stop their progress and take Willow’s hand from Lex’s. He wanted to drag her away somewhere private and claim her, but he didn’t risk it with the people milling about.

  He was practically seeing red as he headed in the direction of her dorm, climbing up the stairs again. A couple of people called his name as he walked past a group in the second-floor rec room. He waved, but he didn’t stop. He was thankful Malone wasn’t among them, because she would’ve wanted to know what he was doing. He couldn’t imagine telling her what was on his mind, and he wasn’t in the mood to listen to her complain about Willow either.