The Nurse's Secret

by Sue MacKay

‘Then why did you?’

  ‘Other responsibilities in England.’ He turned to look across the room, effectively shutting down the brief conversation.

  She studied that strong jawline, the sharp, see-everything eyes that were the colour of burnished steel; the wide chest.

  He turned back. ‘Now you’re staring.’

  ‘I am.’ And liking what she saw. Her phone vibrated. Mum. She picked it up and tapped the text icon. ‘Sorry, need to get this.’

  Morning, sweetheart. You left early. Hope you got some sleep and didn’t spend all night worrying about Noah. Holly’s devouring Rice Crispies, with more on the floor than in her mouth.

  Smiling internally at the mess she could envisage, Stacey sent a smiley face and set her phone down to eat some toast. Sensing Noah was watching her again, she looked up. Sure enough, his gaze was fixed on her. Her grin slipped. ‘Yes?’

  ‘Can I have your phone number?’

  Reality check. It was great he wanted to get in touch with her. She couldn’t wait to spend time with him away from here. Telling him about Holly wasn’t the issue. She’d decided tonight was the night for that, but—and it was a big one—she just wasn’t ready to lose Noah before she’d really found him, as in knowing him better and letting the passion she felt for him have its head. She was smitten with him, and that was hard to let go of so soon. He’d woken her up, and she’d never gone back to sleep, always hoping he’d return one day. Now he had, and there was a lot on the line.

  ‘Anastasia?’ He tapped her hand, lingering over the last touch. ‘You don’t want to give me your number?’

  Shaking her head, she said, ‘Of course I do.’ She rattled it off and he put it into his contact list, trying to ignore how his finger felt on her skin—hot and tempting.

  ‘I’m messaging you so you’ve got mine.’

  Ping.

  Glad to catch up with you.

  Deep breath.

  Same.

  It was true. No matter what lay ahead. Unable to stop herself, she leant forward and touched his fingers, squeezed them lightly.

  Noah glanced at his phone, smiled, and stood up, saying, ‘See you tonight.’ He strode away, totally relaxed. A surgeon with a busy day ahead. A man who touched her like no other and had her smiling even when she was freaking out about Holly. He’d got under her skin and woken her up to new possibilities of love.

  It had happened so fast it made it hard to believe it was real, and for the intervening years she’d tried to make herself believe she’d overreacted to an off-the-scale night. But from the moment they’d bumped into each other yesterday there was no denying she felt warm and excited about the possibilities. She wanted to be with Noah, to really get to know him, while feeling she already did. Was this love?

  Liz waved from beside the counter and held up a mug. ‘Want another?’ she mouthed.

  Stacey nodded, before surreptitiously running a finger beneath her eyes to remove unexpected moisture before Liz came across and noticed. Love and Noah in the same sentence tickled her insides and had her heart beating wildly. Caution was needed here. Lots of it.

  ‘I see you were enjoying Noah Kennedy’s company.’ Liz sat down in the seat he’d vacated.

  Enjoying? Absolutely. ‘It’s always good to get to know our specialists a little, don’t you think?’ Put it back on Liz and hopefully she’d drop the subject.

  ‘You’re not fooling me, Stacey. I saw you go all bug-eyed when he was on the ward yesterday.’

  ‘Must’ve had something in my eye.’ She grinned. What the heck. ‘Only reacting as I’ve been told all the females have since he started.’ At least that showed she hadn’t got it wrong when it came to Noah’s sexy looks.

  ‘Why does he call you Anastasia?’

  She’d prepared for this during the night. ‘It’s my full name, and when we met once years ago, I was sometimes using it.’ Once, and only with Noah, but that was for her to know. ‘Stacey’s a whole lot easier to spell,’ she said with a laugh. ‘Or so I’ve been told.’

  Liz chuckled. ‘Fair enough. So you’ve met him before and yet you didn’t appear to recognise his name. Interesting.’

  ‘It was a brief encounter. You know how those go. Hi, I’m Anastasia. You’re...?’

  ‘Where’d you meet?’

  ‘At a dance. He’d come with a friend and didn’t know anyone else. We ended up dancing together most of the night.’

  ‘You didn’t hang on to him?’

  Time to stop this. ‘Nope. I had other things going on at the time.’ Now drop it. ‘Let’s go see what we’ve got this morning.’ She stood up.

  ‘Sit down. There’s twenty-five minutes before we’re due on the ward.’

  Sinking down, Stacey gulped coffee and pretended nothing was out of the ordinary with this conversation until it was time to leave.

  * * *

  An hour after signing on, a patient was brought up from Theatre who’d been taken out by a car on a crossing.

  ‘Miles Canton, thirty-one years of age, fractured femur and hip, four fractured ribs, pneumothorax to left lung and perforated large colon.’ The orthopaedic surgeon, Ian Blackwell, had accompanied his patient to the ward. ‘He’s a competitive cyclist so his fitness will help recovery.’

  Stacey nodded, then her breath got stuck in her throat as Noah came up behind Ian. ‘Problem in Theatre?’ she gasped, unable to stop the thrill cascading through her.

  Noah shook his head. ‘We’re waiting for Theatre to be cleaned up and readied so figured I’d fill you in on the details I had to do with in Miles’s case. I’ve put a tube into the chest cavity. The lung is starting to move. The colon injury was straightforward but nil by mouth until otherwise advised.’

  ‘Of course.’ Stacey nodded. ‘Liz, I want you with Mr Canton. One on one for today and we’ll assess the situation before handover.’ Two different and complex sets of surgery on top of each other would have knocked the man around, despite his physical condition. ‘There’re only two other patients in room three at the moment so put him there so he can sleep.’ Fingers crossed.

  ‘Thanks, Stacey. That’ll be best.’ Noah gave her an appreciative smile.

  A smile that sent her heart rate into overdrive. She had it bad. She was only doing her job and yet felt as though he’d complimented her. ‘Right, Liz, you’re good to go with Mr Canton?’

  ‘On my way.’

  Inadvertently she glanced at Noah and saw him watching her with a hint of laughter in his eyes. What was that about? ‘Noah?’

  ‘I’d like to see Gloria while I’ve got a spare moment.’ He hustled her along the ward without another word. Thankfully he had enough nous not to take her elbow, and yet she felt as though he’d been about to. That really would have sent everyone’s eyebrows halfway up their foreheads. ‘How is she this morning?’

  ‘Her wound is healing well, the pain’s dropping, though she understands some of the reason is the continuous dosage of morphine. She’s chomping at the bit to go home.’

  ‘I’ll change the pain relief medication. From what I heard from Joel yesterday, I’m happy to discharge her.’ Noah breezed into the room and all conversation amongst the patients stopped as the women looked at him. ‘Morning, Gloria. I hear you’re packed and waiting for my signature.’ He strode up to her bed.

  Stacey resisted winking at the other women and flicked the curtains around them. It was so tempting to be unprofessional because she totally understood their drooling expressions. But she was head nurse and did not want to risk a black mark against her name.

  Gloria smiled and looked to Stacey for support. ‘Why hang around here when I’ve got my family waiting for me at home?’

  ‘Is this family going to look after you? Cook your dinner? Make your bed, and generally run around for you?’ Noah asked.

  ‘My husband will.’

 
‘Or else?’

  ‘Exactly. He knows when he’s onto a winner.’

  ‘I know the consequences if I don’t obey she who should be listened to.’ The curtain flicked open briefly as Gloria’s husband, dressed in a business suit, joined them. ‘Morning, Mr Kennedy. Darling.’ He dropped a kiss on Gloria’s cheek.

  ‘I’m glad you’re here, Darryl,’ Noah said. ‘I’m sending Gloria home, but we need to discuss future treatment.’

  ‘There’s always a reality check.’ Darryl pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and took his wife’s hand in his.

  ‘All right if I sit on the end of the bed?’ Noah asked. ‘I don’t like towering over people when we’re talking.’

  ‘Fine.’ Gloria’s face had lost some colour. Knowing what lay ahead would be daunting, and she’d probably tried to forget all about it for a while.

  Stacey filled a plastic cup with water and handed it to her, received a grateful nod.

  ‘First we have to get the site where I removed your breast completely healed. Only then will we start you on chemo. The treatment is exhausting, and it takes its toll on your body, so best to start in as good a condition as possible.’

  ‘How long are we talking?’ Darryl asked.

  ‘Six weeks is optimal.’ Noah gave them time to think about this, then continued. ‘After you’ve finished chemo we give you a break before starting radiation which is far less distressing. Though I warn you it’ll still make you tired.’

  Gloria gripped Darryl’s hand. ‘I do remember the details from when we first came to see you ten days ago, but this is real. Like it’s started and isn’t over by a long way.’

  Stacey looked away from the anguish in the couple’s faces. Cancer was a bitch. No other word for it.

  Noah was nodding in agreement. ‘Most patients say much the same. You’re focusing on one day at a time, one treatment at a time. You’ve had your mastectomy and your body’s responding well. Soon we’ll move on to the next phase.’

  We. He was with them all the way. As they said their goodbyes and headed out of the room, Stacey’s heart expanded for this caring man. He really was special. In more ways than one. Could he be a great dad? She believed so. Could he be a great partner? Someone she could trust with her heart? What? She gasped. She’d been thinking how she wanted more from him than just the role of Holly’s father. But it was early days. She wasn’t falling in love with him. But she’d had strong feelings for him right from that night they’d made love.

  ‘Stacey? You all right?’ Noah asked, looking at her as though there was no one else.

  Gulp.

  ‘Yes, just...’

  Think of something. Quick.

  She coughed against her arm. ‘I’ve got a tickle in my throat.’

  * * *

  And I’m lying on a beach in Hawaii, Noah thought.

  Something had disturbed Anastasia’s usually calm attitude. What’d they been talking about? Gloria’s upcoming treatment. Nothing there that he could see to upset Anastasia. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he asked as they walked towards the hub of the ward.

  ‘Like I said, a tickle in my throat.’ She was looking anywhere but at him.

  Noah breathed deeply. It seemed Stacey could be hiding something but now was not the time to try and find out what. Of course it might not concern him but that gut instinct that came into play around her was knocking hard again, this time negatively. As though he couldn’t quite accept Anastasia was nothing like Christine. Or was he trying to find Christine inside her so he could protect himself from getting too involved? Glancing at his watch, he said far more calmly than his heart beat suggested possible, ‘I’ll drop in on Jonathon while I’m here.’

  ‘Sure.’

  They went into Jonathon’s room and greeted the patient. ‘Morning, Jonathon. I see you’re improving fast now we’ve got that appendix out of the way.’

  ‘I feel better. Has the infection gone?’

  ‘It takes a bit longer than that. The antibiotics are doing their job and I’ll be able to lower the dosage within twenty-four hours if this progress keeps up.’ He continued asking and answering questions, noting Anastasia was busy avoiding him while being right across the bed and jotting down things he said that were important to their patient’s file.

  But when they left Jonathon, she murmured, ‘Thanks for calling me Stacey on the ward. Most of the time anyway.’

  Could that be what was bothering her? That much? All using her full name said to anyone was that they’d known each other before he’d started here. It wasn’t enough for her to gasp and lose colour in her cheeks. No, definitely something else was going on, and it involved him, he’d swear, because they were always in sync. Which didn’t make sense considering how little they’d had to do with each other. He was probably being paranoid. ‘Still on for catching up after work today?’

  ‘Yes, absolutely,’ she said quietly. Where had cheerful Anastasia gone?

  ‘I could try to get away sooner since you finish at three. Or you could do what all women I know do when they’ve got time to kill. Go shopping.’ He was beginning to enjoy winding her up.

  ‘Guess you don’t know me, then.’

  ‘I’m trying to but you’re putting up road blocks.’ How much did he want to push this? Hadn’t he decided he had a heart to protect? Yes, and he’d also recognised the need he felt when around her had to be looked into further.

  Anastasia stopped. Worry darkened her eyes, whitened her lips. ‘Noah.’ She looked around, then back at him. ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me.’

  ‘Are you married?’ Why hadn’t he asked before? Because if she was, he was out of here, no matter what he felt. There wasn’t a ring on her finger, but some staff left them at home during working hours.

  ‘No,’ she snapped, flicking a look his way he couldn’t interpret.

  Not married, but maybe not single either? He took another glance, and saw her eyes were narrower and she was entirely focused on the wall behind him.

  ‘What keeps you busy apart from work?’ Now he’d started, he wanted to ask more.

  ‘Family.’

  She’d shut down. Why? It had been three years since they’d had that time together, and anything could’ve happened. Where was the harm in asking? He had to look out for himself. She wouldn’t have been hanging around all that time on the off chance they’d meet up again. Especially since amazing sex and great dancing were hardly recommendations for a long-term relationship, though he could think of a lot worse. Of course she’d have found a man, but mightn’t have reached the stage they were calling it a relationship. It wasn’t as though she was unattractive or undesirable, or unfriendly.

  There was a strange sensation in the bottom of his gut; like sadness, or was it disappointment? Couldn’t be. Now he’d caught up with Anastasia excitement tingled continuously throughout him, like he had something to look forward to. Something warm and caring, not cold and filled with greed.

  Okay, admit it. He did want to spend time with Anastasia. Hope for something more with her kept rattling around inside. Not just another one-night stand. He wanted her in his arms, touching her, kissing her. Danger warnings flashed in his head. He could be falling for her, and how would he ever know if he got it right this time? What if she did turn out to be another Christine? Out to get a man who had money to support her and give her a life of luxury, and by chance he fitted the bill? ‘You don’t live alone?’

  After a deep breath, she continued more calmly. ‘At the moment I’m living with my parents and brother. Dad had a truck accident and lost a foot a few years back. Since then he’s qualified as an accountant and is slowly building up a clientele, but there’s not a lot of income coming in. My brother’s at university, and Mum works as a receptionist at the local medical centre. I’m supporting them as much as I can.’

  Kind and generous as
well as fun and exciting. And not well off financially. Yet the tightness in his shoulders backed down after her straight answer. It was hard to hear any falsehood in her voice. ‘So no shopping.’ Strange how he could smile quite easily now. There was no man in her life. He leaned closer, his gaze fixed on her mouth. Then he jerked upright. What was wrong with him? This was a ward. Stepping back, he hauled in air.

  ‘I get in my fair share, believe me.’ She was laughing again, apparently unaware of his reaction to her. Also, surprising how quickly she could restore her good mood. ‘There are some great charity shops in our district.’

  ‘You’re a recycling fan.’

  ‘Who isn’t?’

  ‘When it comes to clothes, you’re looking at the ultimate waster of clothes.’ Then he went back to her family. ‘Your father’s accident must’ve been a hell of a shock for you all.’

  ‘It was, but he’s tough, and is truly happy doing what he is. He and my brother attend the same university, and there’s always something they’re competing over.’

  ‘Your brother’s doing a BScs too?’

  ‘Heck no. That would be too much to handle. Toby’s doing science.’ Pride filled her voice, and her face.

  ‘You love them.’

  ‘Of course I do. And Mum. She’s the backbone of our family, keeps us all on track.’

  So simple. Naturally she loved them. No doubts. As he hadn’t had any with his parents. His phone vibrated. ‘You’re very lucky.’

  ‘I reckon. I’d better get back to work.’

  ‘I’ll see you later.’ With that she headed away.

  So they would have time to sit down together and catch up. On what? They only had dancing and sex between them. Yes, but he wanted a whole lot more. He knew that now. He wasn’t going to walk away—yet. He had to decide how far to take this, and if he wanted to try again to find happiness. In a very short time, Anastasia had done this to him. Tipped his world on its head.

  The phone stopped vibrating. Damn. He’d been distracted. Not good. Unprofessional. Tapping ‘return’, he waited to find out who needed him.