The Autobiography of FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper

by Mark Frost

  August 5, 9 P.M.

  What happened to Windom over the last several days we may never know. He remembers nothing, at least nothing that appears to be of any use for solving the riddle of the murders and his disappearance.

  I am sure that the meaning of looking into the abyss and seeing wonderful things is the key to what happened to him, but this also will remain a mystery. He does not remember our earlier conversation.

  Is my dream connected somehow to this? A legless man telling me I cannot run from It. Corpses without hands. The abyss, and wonderful things. I sense a darkness behind all of this. But I cannot put the pieces together. What happened to him is as much a secret to him as it is to the rest of us. I welcome his return; possibly the two of us can fit the puzzle together. For now he says he looks forward to a quiet game of chess.

  * * *

  Follow-up investigations over the next four months all led to dead ends. No arrests were ever made.

  * * *

  * * *

  Chapter 3

  January 20, 1979, 9 A.M.

  Diane, the people in bookkeeping say that I have accumulated enough hours for a vacation. Ten days of forced exile. Windom has given me the name of a small island south of the border that will give me a good rate. Believe I will take him up on the offer. I can use the time to study hostage-rescue techniques.

  January 25, 5 P.M.

  La Casa el Corazon. The house of the heart. Windom and Caroline spent their honeymoon here. A step into the past. From my balcony I look down onto the warm waters of the Caribbean. An old man sits playing chess in the courtyard. Windom told me of an old man who taught him all he knew of the game. If this is the same man, he must be one hundred years old if a day.

  January 25, 11 P.M.

  A strange incident happened tonight. After dinner I went into the courtyard and sat down across from the old man, and I told him that I had heard he was a very good teacher. The old man said that was true, and then looked into my face for a moment and said the words la muerte. Then he stood up and started to leave. I followed him, seeking an explanation, and got one as he turned into a dark alley.

  "There is death in your face, I can teach you nothing."

  I asked him how he knew this, and he shook his head and said, "That is the wrong question."

  The old man then disappeared into the night.

  January 26, 8 A.M.

  Diane, woke this morning and found the bloody carcass of a chicken nailed to the door of my room. I am going to try to find the old man.

  January 26, 7 P.M.

  Diane, I stand at the door to a small dirt-floor shack. The inside is illuminated by a single candle. The old man hangs from a rope tied to a rafter. He appears to have been dead for ten or twelve hours. On a crude plank of wood he used as a table is a piece of paper with the words "Forgive. I was just a stupid old man. May God stop him."

  Who was the old man talking about? Me? The locals say he was just a crazy old man. That may be true, but it is also true that the line dividing genius from insanity is often a very thin one. Whatever it was the old man saw in my face scared him enough to take his own life. And what was it he was asking forgiveness for?

  * * *

  The time of the next entry is not clear.

  * * *

  Diane . . . darkness . . . darkness . . . I have to get off the island . . . No . . . No It's a monkey's hand. . . . Get off the island . . . Oh . . .

  January 27, 9 P.M.

  Diane, I believe I have spent the last twenty hours under the influence of a powerful narcotic. How and why it was given to me I do not know. The effect it produced was one of profound dislocation and confusion. The windows it opened into my subconscious were ones of terror.

  There was evil behind this, and I am certain that in some way this is connected to the old man's death, and unknown events happening back home. Call it a premonition, but I am certain something terrible has taken place in Pittsburgh, and there is nothing I can do about it. There are no phones here, and the next boat does not arrive until morning. If only I could communicate with Windom.

  January 28, 10 A.M.

  The mainland is in sight now. The feeling of dread that gripped me yesterday is still very strong. I also believe I am beginning to get seasick. With luck and a steady tail wind I should make my connection and be back in Pittsburgh by nightfall.

  January 28, 11 P.M.

  Diane, how I chose to isolate myself on an island at this moment in time I do not know. Caroline Earle has been kidnapped. According to my estimation, the abduction took place at the same time I found myself falling under the influence of the narcotic. How there could be a connection between events 1,500 miles apart I do not know. But I am certain there is. Perhaps it is the Tibetan notion that there is no such thing as unrelated events, that everything is connected.

  What I know of the facts is sketchy. While Windom and Caroline were sitting down to a meal, three men burst into the house. They were well armed and clearly experienced at what they did. Before resistance could be attempted, Windom was knocked unconscious. When he awoke, Caroline was gone.

  No messages of any kind have been received from her abductors. All law enforcement departments have been alerted. However, there is precious little to go on at this point. What we need now is luck.

  January 29, 3 A.M.

  Still no word. Told Windom about the events that took place on the island. He seemed particularly interested in what the old man had told me before he took his life.

  It is curious, but Windom exhibited no sadness or even surprise at the news of the old man's death. I suppose that after the events of the past several days, nothing could surprise or sadden him.

  January 29, 7 A.M.

  No change, Diane. Stayed up with Windom most of the night, playing chess and waiting. His sense of strategy has certainly not been diminished by this ordeal. He took three straight games. It is the Bureau's opinion that an attempt on Windom's life is very possible. I will not leave his side until the threat is over.

  January 29, 9 A.M.

  A vagrant was picked up this morning, wearing the sweater Caroline had on when she was taken from the house. We are on our way to interrogate him now.

  January 29, 10 A.M.

  Diane, the following is the conversation I had with the vagrant.

  COOPER: Where did you get the sweater?

  VAGRANT: God gave it to me. God giveth and God taketh away.

  COOPER: Did God say anything to you?

  VAGRANT: He laughed.

  COOPER: What did God look like?

  VAGRANT: ff you look at God, you turn to stone.

  COOPER: Did God have anyone with him?

  VAGRANT: An angel with a red face, like Christ's.

  COOPER: What do you mean?

  VAGRANT: Blood.

  COOPER: Was this angel a man or a woman?

  VAGRANT: It was an angel without a sweater. Screamed like a woman when God hurt her.

  COOPER: How do you know it was God?

  VAGRANT: Because he told me to carry his message.

  COOPER: What was the message?

  VAGRANT: God is everywhere.

  The rest of the conversation is of no consequence. The vagrant getting the sweater was no accident. Her abductors knew we would find him, and that he would tell us exactly what they wanted us to hear.

  The message is a frightening one. Caroline has been injured. And they are not afraid to do her a great deal more harm if necessary. There is a code working here, but it eludes me. "God is everywhere." I think that is the key.

  We are conducting a sweep in the area where the vagrant was picked up, but I expect no results. Windom watches in silence, helpless like the rest of us.

  January 31, 11 P.M.

  Diane, another day passes without any news of Caroline. With each passing hour I fear the chances of finding her alive grow slimmer and slimmer. No demands have been made, the logic of her abduction escapes me, unless they were trying to keep something a
secret that she already knew. But what could Caroline possibly know that is a threat? Or are they trying to keep Windom quiet? He has given no hint of that, and I must trust him.

  I continue to go back to the words "God is everywhere." The next logical step, if you take it, is that if God is everywhere, then he also sees and hears everything. This is a serious implication that I have not expressed to anyone, even Windom. Is there a mole in the Bureau, watching and listening to every step we take? And if there is, why would they let us know? I am at a loss.

  February 2, 11 A.M.

  A message has been received at the Bureau headquarters in Washington. It read as follows:

  She loves him, she loves him not. She is not dead, but her love is. Caroline, Carol, Ca, C, gone.

  The message was received on a secure telephone fine. How it was accessed, no one knows. We are clearly dealing with a mind of immense complexity and cunning. My fears that it may originate within the Bureau are growing. Have not spoken of this with Windom, but I must.

  February 3, 11 P.M.

  Told Windom my fears that the person we seek may be within the Bureau. He urged me to be cautious, and to speak of this to no one. Still no word, and no clues to Caroline's whereabouts.

  February 5, 9 P.M.

  Diane, Windom agreed to allow me to put him under hypnosis. It was both his feeling and mine that whatever happened to him during his disappearance is connected to Caroline's. The following is an excerpt of the hypnotic event that took place over the course of two hours.

  COOPER: Where are you now?

  WINDOM: There is much light, and it is very dark.

  COOPER: What do you see?

  WINDOM: Truth . . . ha ha ha.

  COOPER: Why were you taken there?

  WINDOM: I was not taken, I was chosen.

  COOPER: For what were you chosen?

  WINDOM: To be a good scout. (Laughs)

  COOPER: Why were you released?

  WINDOM: To do my work.

  COOPER: What is that work?

  WINDOM: You can't see it, can you?

  COOPER: No.

  WINDOM: Caroline saw it.

  COOPER: What was it she saw?

  WINDOM: Love . . . and evil.

  COOPER: Can you take me to where they took you?

  WINDOM: No.

  COOPER: Why not?

  WINDOM: You can't get there from here. (Laughs)

  I concluded the session shortly after that exchange, then listened to it with Windom. I'm afraid it offered little help to either of us.

  For the next two months Caroline's whereabouts remained a mystery.

  * * *

  Chapter 4

  April 10, 11 A.M.

  Diane, I'm at the airport. A report has just come in that during a sweep of prostitutes in Lower Manhattan, a woman was arrested fitting the general description of Caroline. Windom and I are on our way to ID her.

  April 10, 1 P.M.

  We've just missed her, Diane. The mug shot taken at the time of arrest identifies her as Caroline; however, she made bail an hour ago and is gone.

  The sight of his wife in the condition she is in was a great shock to Windom. I must admit that at first glance I would not have recognized her as the woman I know. What kind of unspeakable evil could do this to a person? NYPD has put out an all-points, as have our people. I am going into the streets myself to search.

  April 11, 3 A.M.

  Diane, calling it a night. No sightings.

  April 11, 2 P.M.

  Caroline was found one hour ago. She now sits in an interrogation room, handcuffed to keep her from harming herself or anyone else. She did not recognize Windom, and appears to be suffering from drug addiction, possibly heroin, though the potency must have been incredible to transform the woman I knew into the creature I'm looking at now.

  She will be moved to Bellevue Hospital to stabilize her condition before we move her back to Pittsburgh. Windom is strong, though silent. What horrible secrets are locked inside Caroline's tortured mind I cannot imagine. One of us will remain with her twenty-four hours a day. The possibility is strong that whoever did this unspeakable act to her will try again if they believe she is still a threat.

  April 11, 9 P.M.

  Bellevue. Windom has stepped out. The first signs of withdrawal are beginning to become evident. It's going to be a very long night.

  April 11, 11 P.M.

  Caroline's screams are echoing through the hallways. Diane, what kind of a monster could perpetrate this evil on an innocent person?

  April 12, 6 A.M.

  Caroline's screams ceased about an hour ago. Windom sat in the hall, listening until they stopped. She now appears to be resting, though obviously in great pain. Her blood tests show a high level of heroin, and smaller amounts of another drug that they have not been able to identify. We will know more about her condition when she regains consciousness.

  April 12, 7 P.M.

  No change in her condition. The doctors are still unable to identify the other drug found in Caroline's system. This they do know. It is very exotic, dangerous, and unlike any compound they have ever seen before.

  April 13, 5 A.M.

  It's nearing twenty-four hours without a change. The doctors fear that if she doesn't regain consciousness soon, she never will.

  April 13, 8 A.M.

  Diane, a short time ago Caroline opened her eyes. I took her hand in mine and attempted to communicate that she was safe. Windom then entered the room and leaned over his wife, gently stroking her forehead. Tears formed in her eyes. I believe she's taken the first step back.

  April 13, 4 P.M.

  Caroline has still not spoken, though I believe she knows who I am. The doctors have given us the okay to transport her back to Pittsburgh tomorrow. At Windom's request I have been assigned to protect her, for it is reasonable to assume this ordeal is not over.

  The mind, Diane, is the most powerful healing agent known. There are techniques beyond Western understanding of medicine that may be of some use. I have told Windom of these and he has given me his consent to try anything that may bring Caroline back. Never have I been so moved by the plight of another human being.

  April 14, 3 P.M.

  Caroline called me Cooper. Tomorrow we move her to a safe house, as the risk is too great in the hospital. Her reaction to Windom is confused. She knows who he is, yet at the same time something seems to be holding her back.

  April 15, 2 A.M.

  Diane, an attempt has been made on Caroline's life. The same mysterious drug that had been found in her system has been placed in her IV. The dosage was enough to kill twenty people. I detected the slight change in the color of the fluid as the nurse was starting a new drip, and stopped the flow before it reached Caroline's arm. Windom is questioning all the staff who could possibly have had access to the IV. We are moving her tonight to the safe house instead of tomorrow.

  April 15, 4 A.M.

  We are in the safe house and Caroline is resting comfortably. She does not know that another attempt was made on her life. Windom came up empty on the questioning of the staff. No one saw anything that was remotely out of the ordinary. It was only with a great deal of luck that the assassin was not successful. I cannot even be sure that the safe house will be immune from attack.

  April 15, 6 P.M.

  All is quiet. The perimeter is sealed. Caroline smiled tonight, and held my hand. Windom seemed very pleased.

  April 16, 2 A.M.

  Caroline woke with a terrible scream. I ran into the room and found Windom standing over her, speaking in soft, gentle tones. She said she saw the face of the man, that he was still coming after her, and that she knew she was going to die. However, she could not identify the man. Windom then talked her back to sleep. There appears to be something in her subconscious that is holding her back. Perhaps tomorrow Windom will let me try to break through.

  April 16, 3 P.M.

  Diane, log the following tape as first hypnotic event, subject Caroline Earle. I
t is not easy to listen to.

  COOPER: Can you understand me?