Don't Let Me Forget

by Belinda Williams

  Jet gripped the phone tighter. That was Gordon’s way of saying Benedetti was still a suspect.

  ‘To that end,’ the Commissioner continued, ‘we’re going with the angle that it’s better Benedetti feels comfortable.’

  ‘OK. So does that mean I need to stay here?’

  ‘Yes, I think that’s best for now. Do you feel safe?’

  ‘As safe as I can feel without leaving the country,’ she admitted.

  ‘Trust me, that wouldn’t help. Marty says everything’s been pretty low key since you’ve arrived so let’s leave it how it is for now and I’ll keep in touch. Hang in there.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Jet sat and listened to the dial tone after he was gone.

  Trust me, that wouldn’t help. The words repeated in her mind.

  What did that mean? All Jet could think was that it meant her safety was in question no matter where she was.

  She replaced the receiver, her hand shaking slightly.

  ***

  ‘Everything OK?’ Dan asked casually as he watched Jet return to her desk.

  She didn’t meet his eyes. That wasn’t anything new. In the week they’d been working together Jet actively avoided eye contact as much as possible. He knew it was perverse of him, but it only made him more determined to get the full story out of her.

  His dad sure as hell wasn’t talking. That only made his curiosity stronger. The Rhodes family didn’t do secrets, or at least they hadn’t until now. As much as he was intrigued by Jet’s elegant detachment, he wasn’t going to let a stranger come into his home and unsettle things.

  ‘Fine,’ was her quiet response.

  God, he hated that word. She was anything but fine. Anyone could see that. Her usually golden skin was pale and the way her eyes darted to the window and back to her desk again made her look like a trapped bird.

  Before he knew what he was doing, he stood up suddenly.

  Jet jumped and took a step back.

  ‘Time for some fresh air,’ he announced, ignoring her nervousness. ‘Come on.’

  Dan made his way to the pair of double doors and waited. She didn’t move. ‘Vineyard appreciation time. Non-negotiable.’

  He thought he saw a ghost of a smile touch her lips. He was usually a pretty easygoing guy, but something in Jet brought out his stubborn streak.

  She followed him towards the rows of vines, lingering a few steps behind. That was alright. He was happy to give her some space. The one thing they weren’t lacking on the Rhodes estate was space.

  He led her between a row of vines and they walked in silence. The green leaves were abundant, moving restlessly in the afternoon breeze as though they couldn’t contain their excitement about what the future held.

  ‘Not long,’ he commented as they walked, ‘and things will really take off. The weather’s been perfect so far this spring.’

  ‘Everything looks so alive. When do the grapes appear?’

  He was grateful for her response and kept talking. ‘It’s always weather dependent but I’d say a few more weeks, which is ideal. Every year is different.’

  ‘You’re so at the mercy of the environment. Don’t you find it stressful?’

  Dan’s shrug was relaxed. He found it hard to be anything but comfortable when he was walking among the vines. ‘Challenging is a better word.’

  Jet gave him a curious look. ‘You like the challenge, don’t you?’

  ‘It never gets old. Not to me anyway, or Dad. Sure, some years can be tough. Dry winters in the Hunter can be brutal. Not to mention all the rain we get in spring and summer, which can cause issues with mould. There’s nothing like the feeling of having created a successful vintage though. Nothing beats it.’

  ‘It strikes me as being a lot like raising a child. Year after year.’

  Dan couldn’t resist and flashed her a cheeky smile. ‘Are you saying I’d make a good father?’

  He loved the way Jet’s eyes flared with heat in response to his teasing. Less so the moment afterwards when they dimmed, like she’d deliberately thrown a shroud over them.

  ‘I’m sure your mother would be very encouraging in that department.’

  Her words seemed forced, and he was reminded why he’d brought her out here again. He decided to redirect the conversation.

  ‘Yeah, well, my paternal qualities didn’t always come naturally. When we first moved here, it was winter. I thought the vines were ugly. I hated them and my parents for bringing us here.’

  ‘How old were you?’

  ‘Around ten. An angry ten.’

  ‘I can’t imagine you angry.’

  Something twisted in his stomach at that, he wasn’t sure what exactly. Maybe because she thought he was a nice guy? ‘I can have my moments,’ he assured her.

  ‘Less than most men I know, I think.’

  Jet’s response was telling and it couldn’t have been a more perfect lead in to asking about her ex-husband, but he used all his self-control to ignore the reference. He wouldn’t gain her trust by barrelling in with a lot of questions.

  ‘Yeah, well, ask Mum. She’ll tell you I had a short temper back then.’ He grimaced. ‘Actually, don’t ask her, she’ll claim my body was raging with testosterone and you don’t want to go there.’

  There was that ghost of a smile again.

  ‘Anyway,’ he continued, ‘I used to come out here when I was angry. I wasn’t settling into my new school and I didn’t want to confide in my parents. They had enough to worry about with the vineyard.’

  ‘You must have felt very alone.’

  ‘Yeah, but I couldn’t let my parents know that.’

  Jet stopped walking and she turned to face him.

  ‘Why?’ she asked with genuine interest. ‘You seem really close to your parents.’

  Dan watched her reach out and play with a leaf on the vine. She ran her finger over the surface, tracing the green path of the vein. It struck him that the woman standing in front of him was like that leaf—she had unlimited potential, but something told him the conditions she’d been forced to endure had left their mark.

  He chose his next words carefully, aware he was putting a voice to circumstances that were more than his own, even if they had occurred a long time ago. ‘I didn’t want to burden Mum. She wasn’t well when we arrived here. They struggled for years after I was born to give me a brother or sister, but it never happened. Telling Mum how lonely I was back then wasn’t something she needed to hear.’

  Jet’s hand released the leaf and her eyes met his. Their golden brown depths were warm with sympathy. ‘I’m an only child too.’

  No sorry, he noted. Somehow he wasn’t surprised. Already he understood this was a woman who accepted circumstances for what they were and didn’t offer platitudes.

  He shrugged. ‘The thing is, I’ve never really minded. It may be small, but I have a great family. It was harder for Mum. She’s the youngest of five and always wanted lots of kids.’

  ‘Life never turns out quite the way we expect.’

  He had to agree with her there. It was on the tip of his tongue to mention his failed engagement, but he was more interested in her story. ‘Did you think you’d end up in Australia?’ That seemed like a safe, general enough question to start with.

  They began walking again toward the lowering sun on the horizon, which cast shafts of golden light between the leaves.

  ‘I always wanted to visit here,’ she told him. ‘But I never thought I’d ... stay.’

  ‘I’m sure you’re not the first Brit that’s happened to.’

  She gave him a tight smile. ‘No. You’re probably right. Unlike you, I don’t have a family to go back to.’

  ‘What about your parents?’

  ‘They died in a car accident when I was four and my aunt raised me. When she died after I finished university, I started backpacking the world and landed here.’

  It was the most personal information she’d shared since he’d arrived home and it took him a m
oment to pick up on the inconsistency. ‘I thought you started your events business in the UK before coming here?’ He cast a glance behind him and saw her stiffen, and a softer part of him felt guilty for calling out the discrepancy.

  There was a beat of silence. ‘I ... I did. What I mean is when I ended my trip here, I’d fallen in love with the place. I went back to the UK for a few years and when things didn’t work out between my husband and I, and with nothing keeping me there, I took a chance and came back here.’

  ‘How did you meet your husband?’ he couldn’t help himself from asking.

  ‘Business.’

  This time her response was quick, too quick, but he’d started it now. ‘Was that who was on the phone earlier?’

  ‘What? Oh.’ Her eyes rounded in shock, then she lowered them again, that invisible wall firmly in place again. ‘Not exactly. It was just something to do with the divorce.’

  She’d shut down again and it was just as he’d thought. He had the suspicion her ex-husband wasn’t the sort of guy he’d like. ‘Well, I’m sorry it’s what landed you here, but we’re lucky to have you. And I hope the Hunter Valley feels like home in time. I didn’t know it when I was a kid, but I can’t imagine being anywhere else now.’

  ‘Do you plan to take over the vineyard from Marty one day?’ She seemed grateful for the change of subject.

  ‘That’s the plan. It took me a while to realise it, but I know now.’

  ‘I think you’ll do a good job.’

  Dan wasn’t sure why the simple compliment meant so much to him. Maybe because his ex-fiancée, who knew him better than Jet, had been unable to see this was where he belonged. He’d stayed with Becca longer than he should have in the hope she’d one day come around. The truth was, their relationship had been over well before he stepped on that plane to Europe. And this was not a train of thought he needed to revisit, so he returned his focus to Jet.

  ‘Hey, I need to make a few phone calls before the end of the day. Why don’t you stay out here and enjoy the sunset? There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh, no—’

  ‘Consider it a perk of the job. Trust me. Spend some time out here.’ It will do you good, he wanted to say, but didn’t.

  She nodded slowly, her expression troubled.

  And that was how he left her, a lone woman walking among the vines. He reflected on the fact they were both only children as he made his way back to the office. For some reason, he had the distinct feeling she’d spent a lot more of her life feeling alone than he had.

  Chapter Nine

  She’d had the dream again. It was hardly surprising given the news story and the conversation with the Commissioner yesterday. Most of the time she could pretend it had happened to another person—to Juliet, not to Jet—but that didn’t work when she was asleep.

  In her dreams, reality pushed in, forming images that were a confronting version of the truth. Andrew’s face contorted in anger and words spewing forth from a snarling mouth: ‘How could you let this happen, Juliet? Tell me? What were you thinking?’

  Like her being drugged was somehow her fault, like it was something she’d consented to. Or worse still, something that would taint the Temple name.

  He’d never said those words, of course. That was all in her imagination, yet the accusation stayed with her. How could she?

  And then the aftermath. In her dreams, that was real enough, and that’s what would eventually pull her from sleep. She’d wake twisted in the sheets, heart pounding, body glistening with the sheen of sweat and her eyes wet with tears.

  Andrew may have been able to keep it low key, but she’d still been subjected to the testing, and the humiliation of not knowing what had happened to her own body. Nurses took swabs from her genitals to see if there were any abrasions, scratches or semen left behind from someone having forced themselves on her when she’d lain unconscious. There was a urine test to detect the presence of a date rape drug in her body, and other blood tests.

  The invasion somehow felt just as bad as the lingering effects of the drug. The drowsiness had remained for hours, as well as a roiling in her stomach. When she was asked to follow basic instructions so the nurses could carry out the tests, Jet had felt like her limbs were separate to her body. She’d been clumsy and utterly confused.

  Now, weeks later, it was as if the drug was still in her system because all she wanted to do was sleep. After spending some time last night wandering in the vineyard, she’d had a light snack and then fallen into bed by seven. She’d woken twelve hours later when the dreams became too real she’d had to escape.

  Despite all of this, Jet was still annoyed at herself for her behaviour yesterday in front of Dan. She’d been far too cagey, too closed off, and she’d almost given something away. Jet was lucky he was so easygoing and today he was acting like it hadn’t happened.

  So Jet acted too. It was the only reason she was up and out of bed, functioning like somebody resembling a normal person. If she’d still been in Sydney, she suspected she might remain holed up in her apartment with the blinds drawn to keep the world at bay. Sleep and withdrawing from the world was her instinctive response to the violation she’d experienced and the fear of the unknown evil she knew was out there.

  But here, she wasn’t Juliet anymore. She couldn’t be, because it wasn’t safe. There was security in being Jet Appleton and she clung to that.

  They’d spent an amicable morning in the office and now they were seated across from each other at a restaurant in a competing vineyard for lunch. Over the course of the morning the dreams had started to feel distant and now Jet almost felt relaxed.

  ‘Are you sure they don’t mind us being here?’ Jet asked softly when the waitress left with their orders.

  ‘What? We’re paying customers. Relax. It’s not like we’re here undercover. Everyone knows exactly who we are.’

  Well, who Dan was, that much was obvious. The restaurant manager had greeted them enthusiastically and Jet had to admit they appeared genuinely happy to see him.

  ‘It’s almost like they missed you while you were overseas,’ Jet said. Her attempt to tease him felt like something a normal person would do, or something she might have done before all of this had happened.

  Dan cocked his head to one side while he surveyed her. ‘That walk did you good yesterday. But yeah, I’m known around town. In a good way,’ he added.

  A laugh bubbled up from somewhere and it took Jet by surprise, her body once again out of her control. She liked that he was straight to the point though. And Dan was right, the walk had done her good yesterday. Making her way through the rows of vines, she’d been able to find a small measure of peace, if only for a while.

  She also realised she was becoming partial to the Rhodes’ property. The restaurant they were sitting in overlooked a different vineyard, and while it was pretty and picturesque and all the things a visitor to the area would expect, Jet felt it lacked something.

  Dan caught her eye as she reached for her glass of water. ‘Don’t fill up on water. We’re here to taste wine.’

  ‘Just cleansing my palate, don’t worry.’

  The manager appeared a moment later with a bottle of wine in hand. She proffered it ceremoniously, but Dan just shook his head.

  ‘Go ahead and pour, Liz. I trust you.’

  ‘Good to know,’ the young blonde woman replied. ‘This one’s a Semillon from last year.’ She winked at Dan, her pale blue eyes dancing. ‘Unlike you, we’re known for our Semillons and it should go perfectly with your entrée.’

  Dan put a hand to his chest. ‘You wound me, Liz. Our Semillon is perfectly respectable, but maybe it’s because it’s overshadowed by our terrific Chardonnay, wouldn't you say?’

  Liz laughed good-naturedly. ‘Alright, alright. Your Chardonnay’s a good drop, I’ll agree to that. What do you think, Jet?’

  Jet took a careful sip of the wine. Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Oh, that is good. I can’t wait to taste it wit
h the entrée.’

  ‘Jet, we might have discuss a few things during your upcoming performance review,’ Dan joked, and they all laughed.

  Liz set the bottle of wine on the table. She turned to leave, but hesitated. ‘Jet? Did you say you’re new to the area?’

  Jet set her glass down. ‘Yes.’

  Liz frowned. ‘That’s funny. I could have sworn you look familiar.’

  ‘Nope,’ Dan replied before Jet could respond. ‘Jet was in the UK before accepting the position with us. Must be someone else.’

  Liz nodded. ‘Of course. The accent gives it away.’

  Liz left them and Dan held up his glass and studied it. ‘So you like the Semillon, huh?’

  Jet picked up her glass again, grateful for the change of subject. When Liz had cocked her head to one side and looked at Jet like she’d recognised her, she’d experienced a sudden, strangling surge of fear. It wasn’t possible someone would know her, was it? She’d always attempted to keep a very low profile despite Andrew’s notoriety. Anytime she’d been caught on camera, she’d been done up to the nines. Now she was wearing a smart pair of jeans and a simple black shirt, her hair left natural and only a minimal amount of make-up.

  Dan was waiting for her to reply. She forced a smile on to her face. ‘What? Am I not allowed to like their wine?’

  ‘You can like it, I guess. As long as you like our Chardonnay more.’

  ‘What if I told you I’m more of a Shiraz lover?’

  A wide smile spread across Dan’s face, revealing the now familiar pair of dimples. ‘Now we’re talking. I can confidently say you’d choose our Shiraz over any of the others in town.’

  ‘Oh, really? Why don’t you let me make up my own mind?’

  Dan held up both hands. ‘I prefer a woman who knows her own mind, so you won’t hear any complaints from me.’

  ‘Just some helpful encouragement then?’

  Dan’s laughter hit Jet deep in her belly and she held the glass a little tighter. How long had it been since she’d laughed properly? Or in the company of a man? Even before all of this had started, she’d been working hard on her business and to put her failed marriage behind her.