by kendra Smith
Suddenly, there was a howl. It was Rory. She fell to the floor, yelling for him. Where is he?
‘Mummy! By the curtains,’ shrieked James. The wailing was getting louder.
Katie summoned up all her courage, reached down and scooped Rory up in her arms just as he let out another yell. Where the hell is the spider? Where the hell is Tom? She was crying, punching numbers into her phone, but her hands were sweaty and she dropped it. She picked it up again. ‘Blake? Yes, yes. It’s Katie. Can you meet me at hospital? Yes? No, redback. Rory. I’ll explain there.’
Yanking the handbrake off she screeched out of the driveway to the nearest hospital, her knuckles white on the steering wheel. Rory was in the car seat howling, his face ruddy with the crying. She glanced round quickly and could see the red welt swelling on his leg. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she narrowly missed a red light.
The terror reminded her of an argument they’d had at home once. When she was ten years old, she had heard her mum and dad have a blazing row, screaming at each other. They’d said it was the end of the family; they had yelled about having the kids alternate weekends. She remembered that it all started with a stupid dinner plate her dad hadn’t washed up. Her blood had gone cold then and she hadn’t been able to shake the uneasy feeling for years, the uncertainty, how her whole world had started to shatter.
This was worse. Rory was howling as she kept recalling the website, about exactly how redback bites affect babies… What did the website say about systemic envenoming?
Screeching into the Emergency car park, she saw Blake standing in front of the hospital doors. He rushed up to her when they arrived.
‘You OK?’
‘Rory isn’t.’ She shook her head and wiped her eyes.
Blake didn’t stop to ask any questions. He took Rory and flew through the hospital door and to the front desk. Katie came hurrying up behind him, James and Andy clutching her skirt.
‘My baby’s been… been bitten by a redback.’ The tears were streaming down her face. Blake put his arms around her. A couple in the waiting room turned to look at them. The nurse took Katie’s name and then buzzed the door. ‘Go straight through to paediatric casualty. This is an emergency. A doctor will meet you.’
The doctor took them into a small room at the side, with bright fluorescent lights. Rory’s cheeks were puce with pain.
‘OK, I’m Dr Mitchel. I’ve radioed to Mona Vale hospital that we need the antivenom ASAP. First, we need to keep where he was bitten very, very still and put a tourniquet round it.’ He took a closer look at the welt and then at Rory’s face and turned to Katie. ‘It looks to me like he’s had an allergic reaction as well,’ he said frowning.
Katie watched as Blake held down her precious boy, as the doctor loosened his Teletubby pyjama top, which was soaked in sweat. Katie was rigid, terrified. Please don’t let my baby die. A nurse came into the room. This would never have happened in England. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ‘it will be all right.’ How can it be all right? thought Katie furiously.
‘Where’s the antidote?’ screamed Katie, trying to choke back tears. ‘Surely we need to hurry!’ Don’t let Rory die, don’t let him die… She watched the doctor place the bandages around Rory’s creamy white flesh.
Another nurse appeared. ‘The courier has just arrived with the antidote; it will be here in a minute.’
‘Sit in that chair, Katie. Try to give Rory a bottle, to calm him,’ the doctor said.
Katie stared at the doctor for a minute.
‘I don’t like the way he looks; he’s sweating too much. Nurse? Please rush through the antivenom straight away.’ He turned to look at Katie. ‘We are going to have to get this into his system immediately. I’ll need to stick a pretty large needle into his thigh, OK, with some antihistamine as well.’ The doctor held her gaze. She nodded. Blake squeezed Katie’s shoulder as she clutched Rory, then he ushered James and Andy to a corner. Katie could smell latex rubber gloves, looked at the needle and felt sick.
Rory’s little cheeks were still puce, tears streaming down his face. He was taking short, panicky breaths, whimpering. ‘There, Rory, there…’ Katie took the bottle from the nurse, slowly coaxed Rory into having some, stroked his hair. His breathing suddenly calmed and he started to suck rhythmically. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the doctor fill up a huge needle. My poor darling. Just as Rory had calmed down, Katie watched as the doctor held both his feet in one hand, then injected his tiny thigh with the other.
Rory’s eyes widened, his mouth came off the teat, his little jaw opened and there was silence – a silent scream as if Katie was watching a horror movie… and then he yelled like she’d never in her life heard him before.
*
Katie could just make out the glow of her diving watch: 1.30 a.m. The power was still not on. Blake appeared with a torch in his hand and something in a bag. ‘Got it,’ he said and then flopped onto the sofa next to her.
She poured them both a glass of wine. Her hands were shaking and she spilt some over the sofa. ‘Damn.’ She let out a sigh. Blake put his hand over hers on the wine bottle and took it from her. She felt her shoulders relax. ‘Thanks, Blake.’
‘No worries. I’ve tucked up James and Andy – they wanted the light left on in the hall.’ He took a gulp of wine. ‘So I rigged up two torches to shine into their room.’
‘Thanks – for everything.’ Katie smiled at him.
‘That was a bit full-on.’ He smiled, leant back on the sofa. ‘Don’t much like spiders!’
She looked over at him, could just make out his features outlined in the candlelight of the room – the jaw jutting out, the lovely mess of brown hair. Katie closed her eyes. When she opened them she wondered if this is what had happened with Tom. Wondered if he and Ann found themselves in a moment like this. If she had poured her heart out, and Tom had been there, instead of Paul. But why didn’t Paul listen to her more? Why did she choose my husband?
‘Hey pretty lady, whatcha thinking?’
Pretty Lady… Tom calls me that…
‘Oh, too much – and too little!’ She tried to laugh, but it sounded forced. ‘Sorry I called you, didn’t – you know—’ she shrugged her shoulders and let them slump down ‘—didn’t have anyone else.’
‘No worries. Listen, you should get some help – Naomi used to have an au pair when Ed was young. What do you think? You could do with another pair of hands.’ She could see him smiling at her in the glow of the candle. ‘Look, I have to go. Teaching a bunch of ten-year-olds surfing tomorrow. Will you be OK?’
She nodded and took a gulp of wine. ‘Yes, fine, fine.’ She didn’t recognise the voice – it sounded very shaky.
‘Call me if you need me.’ He reached for her hand, held it to his mouth and gave it a kiss.
She stood up slowly. What a lovely, old-fashioned thing to do. Her legs were stiff. Her back ached. ‘Thanks,’ she said quietly, walking to the door with him. She closed it gently behind him and watched from the window as the shadowy figure went down the drive. She stood alone in the darkness for quite a while. Part of her was disappointed, but the other was relieved to be left alone, to figure out what she felt.
As she sat on her bed, she stared at the cot next to her. She had moved it back into her room for the night. She had to listen to him breathe next to her. She gazed at Rory, grabbed two of her Prozac tablets from the bedside table, then put them down again. She wondered who was more exhausted, as she kissed him softly on the forehead, then fell backwards into the pillows and passed out in a blur of confused dreams.
34
The employment agency staff were very helpful. They told Katie they had a Spanish girl who wanted to work two mornings a week as a mother’s help. They had assured her that they interviewed the candidates personally. Katie looked at her watch: 11 a.m. They should be back by now. She frowned.
She had agreed to a two-week trial. Maybe Blake was right, maybe she did need some help. She had asked the new girl, Maria
, to take Andy to the park that morning.
She could just hear them coming in. Andy came bouncing past her. Maria came in behind him and told her they had a lovleee morning, shockolate biscuits from shop. Chocolate biscuits? I specifically said no chocolate.
‘Mum?’
‘Yes, darling.’
‘Can I have an intergalactic Ben 10 spaceship cake for my birthday?’
No, I want you to have a ready-made orange poppy seed one I can buy at the mall because I feel exhausted all the time and the doctor wanted to up my dosage of Prozac last week. ‘Of course you can, darling.’
She was only too aware that precious times like these would soon be gone. You can’t bottle being nearly five can you? she realised, wearily hauling a recipe book from the shelf. You can’t help it if your father has been unfaithful and you’re now living alone with a mother who can’t be bothered to cook much of the time. I wish I could nail down my children, right now, thought Katie, like butterflies, frame them and write the date under them, come back to them when I’m feeling better, feeling like being part of life again… but I can’t, I have to get on with it. You can’t store the smell of a child’s skin after a day in the sun, the cheeky grin. You can’t fold in tissue paper the look on his face on Christmas morning when he gets his first bicycle.
‘Who wants to make a spaceship cake?’ Katie said, coming out of her thoughts, and smiled at Maria who was standing at the kitchen counter folding a yellow sleepsuit with teddies on it. It made her think of Lucy, the domestic goddess, and she gathered strength. I’m sure I can do this without opening a packet.
‘Space sheep?’ Maria asked, screwing up her eyes.
‘Spaceship cake, you know like into space.’ Katie pointed up high.
She looked slightly less puzzled, then smiled and started tickling Andy who dissolved into giggles. She’d thought her English would be better than this. Katie sighed to herself. As long as she can look after the kids, she thought, snapping the book shut firmly.
‘Your boobs – um, sorry—’ she turned bright red ‘—your boys are adorable.’
Katie shot her a look and started laying all the ingredients on the kitchen table. Eggs, sugar, flour, margarine, mixing bowl and beaters. Sprinkles (of course) and Betty Crocker ready-made icing – an excellent innovation for any recently cuckolded wife, Katie decided.
*
‘Katie!’ Naomi hollered at Katie as she marched down the pavement. Her red shorts were like a beacon, her long tanned legs striding purposefully towards her target. Crumbs, she reminds me of Victoria Beckham, but even skinnier, thought Katie, as she tried to smile for her friend.
‘How are you?’
‘Hot,’ Katie replied. She managed a simultaneous smile and eyebrow lift as she hauled rucksacks, hats and water bottles out of the car and quickly smeared sun cream on James at the kerb. Must appear jolly to all observing school mums, thought Katie with a tight smile. As If I’m Giving Australia A Go. As If I’m Surviving My Husband’s Affair.
‘What you doing after the school run?’
‘Mummy!’ It was Andy tugging on her leg.
‘Shh, Andy, wait a minute.’
Katie shrugged. ‘Not much.’
‘Then you’re coming with me,’ said Naomi shoving a leaflet into her hand. ‘You need to relax after that nasty spider shock! Blake told me all about it. Poor Rory. Anyway, Maria can look after him while we go have some fun – what do you say?’
Katie looked down at the leaflet: Indulgent Spa Experience. ‘Take yourself away from it all, to another world.’ That would be nice.
‘Mummy!’
‘What is it, darling?’
‘You were too late, Mummy! Needed the toilet,’ he shouted. Then his voice turned to a whisper as she knelt down next to him. ‘Poo came too quickly…’
*
There was a muffled giggle. Katie looked around at her surroundings and swivelled her eyes to the left. Naomi was lying on a beauty therapist’s chair, while a woman in what looked like a white karate outfit applied something resembling mud to her face; she had a lavender mask covering her eyes, but rather than exude an aura of calm, was giggling like a schoolgirl after matron had told her off.
‘Ooh! That tickles!’
Her therapist remained professional, asked Naomi if there was anything she could do to make her experience more relaxing.
There was a snort. It was Katie. Turning away she was shaking with laughter. But as she looked down at her own feet, encased in a sort of shopping bag – an ‘aroma hydrotherapy capsule’, the giggles erupted again. Katie’s therapist told her she must concentrate on her energy zones, told her to release some chi. Thinking the woman had said ‘pee’ Katie then nearly choked on her elderflower water.
The Vietnamese therapist appeared again, this time she gave Katie a deeply relaxing foot massage. Next, whore-red polish completed the transformation of her feet.
An hour later, Naomi and Katie were sitting by the pool in the spa, in velvety white robes, sipping herbal tea and staring at a plate of tiny salmon sandwiches, surrounded by watercress. Katie’s stomach was rumbling; she was desperate to ask the staff if they served chips – cooked in duck fat, to be precise – the best ones.
There was a hush. In a place like that you didn’t eat chips and you didn’t snort when you laughed. From out of nowhere, came the sound of passing wind. Naomi turned bright red. Katie and Naomi hid under their magazines from the other clients, silently shaking with laughter as the front covers of their glossy mags vibrated in front of them.
‘Hey, when do you think we’ll grow up?’ asked Naomi, reaching for a tiny sandwich.
‘Never!’ said, Katie, wiping away her tears, and wondering when she’d last laughed like that. She felt much better.
After a while, Naomi fell asleep. Katie studied her face. My good friend, she thought. And not so new any more. She has been here for me amid all this, shown me the zoo on a lonely Sunday, stood with me in cinema queues; we’ve both taken home sand, seashells and memories from the beach. She is slowly spinning a piece of twine to my heart, which will be hard to break. Katie closed her eyes. Thank God for Naomi.
Suddenly, Naomi stretched. ‘C’mon, I’m bored. Why don’t I get your kids and take them back to my place for a swim? You have a rest at home – what do you think?’
Don’t panic. Act natural. Suddenly the fear was back. Katie had heard all the stories about the Silent Killer – you can’t hear when a little kid slides under the water, mouth open, eyes wide with terror, unable to breathe, then lies on the bottom of the pool. She panicked.
‘Katie?’
‘Um, I’ll just pop along too, if that’s OK – you’ll find it hard to look after all those boys.’ How deep is her pool? She felt ridiculously terrified for some reason. Felt like she had to protect them all the time. She stared at her red toenails. Naomi looked at her sideways with a concerned expression. ‘Sure, honey.’
Just then Katie’s phone went. The school number flashed up. Her heart was in her mouth. Why were they calling? All her panicking instincts kicked in again.
‘Oh, Mrs Parkes, we’ve been trying to get hold of you.’ It was Miss Robins, the school nurse. ‘James is unwell.’ Katie’s heart lurched.
Naomi put a hand on her arm, mouthed: ‘What’s up?’
‘What sort of unwell?’ Katie asked, trying not to let her voice get out of control. ‘Has he been bitten by a spider?’ she said, her voice rising.
‘No, no spider bites. I’ve looked him all over. He’s just come back from morning tea and his teacher says he’s acting very strangely. We’ve put him in the first aid room. I think you need to come and take him home. Probably a virus.’
Walking to the sick room a short while later she heard the tune. It was familiar. James was singing ‘Flower of Scotland’ (taught to him by Gramps). She looked at him – he didn’t seem unwell. In fact he looked rather jolly. She felt his forehead: a bit hot, but not burning. He looked up and giggled. His water bott
le was next to the bed. Katie stared at it. Saw the colour of the liquid, took a sip. Oh Christ. My seven-year-old is off his face on cranberry and vodka, which Maria has put in his Ice Age 3 drink bottle.
35
An hour later, Katie was in the pool being sprayed with water guns – she had made James drink a large glass of water and then tucked him up in Naomi’s spare room. Naomi was standing by the edge of the pool dangling two glasses in her hand. ‘Want a drink to calm your nerves after all that? I just checked on James – he’s fine.’ She nodded towards the room upstairs.
Why not, thought Katie, what else can happen today? She closed her eyes, exhausted. She watched Naomi’s slim silhouette sweep back around the path, the sequins in her T-shirt glinting in the sun. Katie breathed in the sweet honey fragrance of the frangipani trees surrounding the pool.
‘I’m going to kill Maria!’ said Katie, as Naomi handed her a glass.
‘How did it happen?’
‘I asked James on the way home and he said he’d told Maria he wanted a drink “like Mummy has”. She’s obviously given him the pre-mixed vodka and cranberry in the fridge! Can you believe it?’
Naomi shook her head, stared at Katie as she clambered out the pool. ‘Hey, you’ve lost weight, you know, sweetie. You look good.’
‘Have I? Wasn’t really a plan. Been on the Best-Friend-Shagged-Husband diet – must’ve worked.’ She smiled ruefully and winked at Naomi. Despite the hoo-ha of the last few days, part of her felt stronger, felt like she was living again.
‘I’ve got some clothes in the hall, take them on your way out, they’re too big for me – no offence. But I think they’ll suit you.’
‘Thanks.’ Katie took the glass from Naomi who smiled sympathetically at her and squeezed her arm. Tom had been putting some money into her account, but with the extra rent needed for the Brisbane flat and for Maria, things were tight. It would be nice to have some new clothes.
