Hard Truths (Kiss Her Goodbye Book 1)

by Rebecca Royce

  He shook his head. “That’s what I’m doing. There is actually a conference going on.”

  Oh. Well, I hadn’t seen that coming.

  A conference filled with very smart people who all worked somehow in the space industry—that was a thing—proved to be a pretty rowdy party. Trace was a professor and highly thought of at that. With all of that in my head, I finally went back to the hotel room. There was a phone. I could call my father. I could reach out to anyone for help. I didn’t.

  I needed to accept I was pretty much consenting to this. My journey might not have been my idea, but I was a willing participant now. I wanted to see what was going to happen. And that made me sick in the head. A psychologist would have a field day with me.

  I hadn’t thought about the fact that there was only one bed in the room but there was just one. I rubbed the back of my neck. The kiss with T had been toe curling awesome. If he had suggested I strip bare on the driveway I’d probably have done it to have him inside of me right then. Now, tiredness rode me hard.

  I changed into my pajamas. I hadn’t brought sexy ones and I pretty much thought that moment had passed anyway. There was a couch. I’d go to sleep on it. I grabbed a blanket from the closet and settled in. It wasn’t an uncomfortable couch. I had slept in worse places through college. Truth was, I’d been really… uncaring where I plopped down for the night. I was lucky nothing bad had ever happened to me. Well, up until I got kidnapped but that was in my own apartment.

  I closed my eyes, reveling in the warm air moving gently from the ceiling fan. Dreams drifted over me.

  I woke with a start. T stood over the couch. “What are you doing over here?”

  I rubbed my eyes. “Where should I have slept?” Did he want me out of the room altogether? He’d put my clothes in the closet.

  “Frustrating woman.” He scooped me up like I weighed nothing, which I knew wasn’t true, and carried me over to the bed. “In the bed. Why would I put you on the couch?”

  My brain hadn’t turned back on yet. “So you could sleep in the bed?”

  “Do you have any idea how much time I have spent today thinking about getting you off? I haven’t given this much brain space to another person’s orgasm, ever. That doesn’t mean I haven’t given them. No, it’s just an assumption that I will. But, no, I keep thinking about yours. What it will be like. How you will come. When you will. What you’ll sound like.”

  Oh, I was fully cognizant now. He had my total attention. “Sounds like a lot of buildup. I kind of thought the moment had passed.”

  “Everly, the boys you’ve been fucking are such rank amateurs. You stepped into this with a grown man. You want to come? I’m going to make you. But you aren’t going to fall in love with me or I’m not touching you once.”

  I pushed at his chest. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’d sooner fall in love with Jim-Bob.”

  “He’d never get to fucking touch you.”

  Trace was on me, fast. His mouth came down on mine and this time I held on to his shoulders and met him kiss for kiss. I expected the frantic pulling of clothes that always took place now, but that wasn’t what happened. If anything, T slowed down.

  He pulled back just a touch to lick at my mouth. His wicked tongue that could cut into me so easily with his words caressed my lips inch by inch. Anticipation had me catching my breath. Well, this was new. I couldn’t say as I’d ever had that before and oh…

  T was masterful at this, unrushed, his mouth clearly skilled at taking and giving what he wanted. He ran his hand through my hair, once then twice before he skirted back just enough to stare down at me.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful. I fucking hate it.”

  I didn’t have time to digest that before his mouth came to meet my own again.

  Chapter 9

  There were a million things I should say to T, but I wasn’t going to say any of them. No, because all I wanted to do right then was kiss him. He wasn’t easy on me. His mouth was almost painful in how much he demanded. Total submission to his will or nothing at all. That seemed to be what he wanted, what he was telling me without saying a word.

  Our kissing was a battle. One of us will win.

  His tongue pushed into my mouth, caressing mine. It was the first gentle thing he’d done since we went down this road. I was more than fine with the moment of sweet, but I had no expectation of it lasting.

  He pushed me back farther until my back pressed up against the headboard, at no point taking his mouth from mine. Having gotten me there, he moved his hand down further until he grasped at my waist. He squeezed me once. I wasn’t sure why, but it felt like possession.

  I pulled back to look at him, my mouth swollen in the best possible way. “Hey, you know what, Trace? You should go ahead and make sure you don’t fall in love with me, either. Could go both ways, you know.”

  “Honey, I’m not capable of that kind of feeling. Everyone I meet is a chess piece. Even you. And right now you’re right where I want you.”

  I didn’t know how I felt about that. It was super egotistical. He thought he’d done this? Well, I had news for him. I wanted him to and I was always in control of my sex life. Fine, whatever he wanted. His body was making me promises I intended for him to keep.

  He smiled at me, but there was no mirth in it. “Don’t act like you’re tough, Everly. I know you’re not. You’re soft inside and when this is over if you are careful, you can still be that way.”

  “Shut up, T.” When he talked like that he was the letter he’d been called, not Trace the smart college professor who everyone loved. It didn’t matter. I wanted to fuck both of them.

  I bit his lower lip and he moaned for a second before fusing our lips together. He moved his hands everywhere he could reach. We were still both dressed, me in my pajamas. Yet, it still felt as though he scorched me with his touch where he managed to hold for a second.

  I loved—no, wrong word when it came to T—liked the noises that he made when I rubbed against him. Low sounds in the back of his throat. His noises turned me on. There was no other way to think about it. I liked hearing him get hot for me. Maybe I got off on power. Right then, I didn’t give a shit.

  He pulled back enough to tug at my nightie. “You are way too hot for such an ugly nightgown.”

  I smirked at him. “This from the man I’ve never seen in anything but black.”

  “I’m profoundly colorblind. Wearing all black all the time means I never have to worry about matching.”

  I blinked. “Really?”

  “Why would I make that up? I can see your hair just fine. The dark, almost black strands really stand out to me. I can see you, just fine. And I know that your nightgown is made for a grandmother. Don’t wear it again.”

  He wasn’t going to get to give me clothing orders. Only right then I was doing the thing where I was hung up on the fact that he could see me. I’d find my head later and stop being ridiculous. This was just sex. I never got caught up in pretty words. Right now, they were working for me. I didn’t have to overthink it.

  I tugged at his black shirt, tossing it aside. He was as buff as I’d thought he was going to be. T—Trace—the colorblind, man in black, with the glaring eyes, the PhD, and the manipulative personality who thought he moved the world like a chessboard. He was going to come between my legs and make me come, too. I could already tell.

  I stripped him of the rest of his clothes until we were both naked. He was right. I’d only had sex with men much younger than him before. T was built like a man who was in control of his muscles. He was strong, defined, and he didn’t look like he still had to grow any muscle to get bigger. This was a man in control of his body.

  He had a dusting of dark hair over his chest. I ran my hand through it and down to touch his abs. His muscles clenched under my exploration. His cock was long, hard, and heavily veined. I stroked him once and he closed his eyes.

  His cock grew in my hand but it didn’t seem to hurry him. He wasn’t pushing me down d
emanding completion like he couldn’t hold off. Trace opened his eyes and looked at me, there was heat in his glaring gaze.

  He scooted down the bed, moving away from me without a word. He pressed his mouth down on my stomach, planting a kiss there before he kissed all the way down. Anticipation made my mouth go dry. Was he seriously starting with this? Oral wasn’t something the guys I knew offered to do very often. Usually, it took a blowjob first and I’d hardly gotten to touch T for very long.

  T lifted his eyes and winked at me. I couldn’t help my grin. He planted a kiss on my right thigh, and I shuddered. His breath was hot and I could feel it against my skin. He moved over just a little, planting another kiss on the other side. I closed my eyes. Good God, why was this so… intense?

  Why didn’t he just get to it already? Shouldn’t he be half done?

  But no, he’d hardly started. T kissed me everywhere, but my pussy, no bit of skin in the area went uncaressed. He moaned, low in his throat. Yes, I really dug that sound. And he liked this? I squirmed and he put a hand on my knee, just a gentle touch to stop me from moving. Okay, I’d try. It was just hard to… wait.

  He ran that hand from my knee, down to where he kissed me and I shuddered. Slowly, ever so achingly so, Trace laid a kiss on my pussy. I could barely feel it. He’d been harder on my skin before. He laid a quick second one there, a harder kiss. This one I felt. Wow. I opened my eyes as he moved slightly on the bed, as though he had to adjust himself to get comfortable. His gaze was heated and he kissed me there again.

  “You taste so fucking good.”

  I sucked in my breath as my nipples hardened. I didn’t even know what to say but he didn’t seem to need a response. No, T was right back where he had been before.

  He licked my clit. With his tongue laid flat over it, he licked it ever so slowly. His movements weren’t rushed or hurried, no he took his time and before I knew it my eyes were closed again and I knew nothing but the rhythm of his tongue on my clit. He slowly moved down, applying pressure to it as he went. Every pass increased just a little bit until I panted for it.

  I cried out as he hit one spot I’d never known I liked before. He did it again. And then again. I gripped onto the bed. I arched onto the bed, my hips coming closer to his mouth. He didn’t stop. Yes, it was like he could read my body. I wanted that and he kept doing it. Over and over until I exploded. Colors passed over my vision as tremors shook my body.

  I tried to catch my breath. The intensity of the moment shocked me and I didn’t want to…

  T wasn’t done. I’d assumed he’d move on. But just as I was catching and my body still contracted, he placed a finger inside of me. My body reacted and he took his cue, pushing his finger in to ride the wave of pleasure with me. For some reason, the gentle touch right there inside of me pushed me over again. My hips jerked off the bed and I came harder this time.

  His mouth met my own and he kissed me through release. Over and over. I still couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. That was the single best orgasm of my life and he hadn’t even been inside of me. T jumped off me for a second, grabbing his pants and pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. A second later he had a condom in his hand. I nodded at him. That was the best I was going to do right then for affirmation.

  My body felt cold without him near me as though it was a sudden jolt to my senses. I shivered. Fortunately, he returned fast. I guessed I was needy for a change.

  I wasn’t usually that girl.

  I was the woman who wanted to put the condom on him. I sat up to grab the package from his hand, and he raised an eyebrow at me. “Let me.”

  “Sure.” He nodded once and sat back on the bed.

  “You’re so big.” I stroked a hand down him, tip to balls, and he jerked in my fingers. Yes, he was ready for this. And I loved that he’d gotten this hot making me come. His breathing was shallow as he lifted a hand to caress my cheek with his thumb.

  I tried to ignore how my hands were shaking and roll the condom onto him. I’d finally gotten him sheathed when he pushed me down under him. I hit the mattress with my back, releasing an oomph. I didn’t mind it a little rough, and I didn’t think he was even conscious that he’d almost shoved me down.

  I was pretty sure he was just that excited.

  I wrapped my legs around him as he teased the opening of my pussy with the tip of his cock. I should have known he wouldn’t go right inside of me. T liked to play my body like an instrument, and he did seem to be a master at it. I wasn’t complaining. After moments of anticipation, he finally did.

  Filled up with his big, hard cock I moaned. I couldn’t have stopped myself if I’d wanted to. I was so full right in that second. My body clenched around him even as he pulled out. Where was he going? I wanted him right where he’d been. This time he pushed back inside of me shallowly, hitting my clit and pulling back out. I closed my eyes.

  I couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. There were too many feelings going through me, too many sensations. He thrust inside of me over and over but then just as suddenly would stop, lingering for a moment deep inside. I squeezed around him, and he cried out, the smirk I’d come to think of as his crossing his mouth.

  I dug my fingers into the skin on his back to hold onto him. He cried out again, his glaring eyes meeting mine. We were lost together. That was what it felt like, and I couldn’t say why. He leaned down, grasping onto my nipple and sucking hard as he thrust into me. My breasts burned, and I shouted his name. The bed banged so loudly into the wall everyone on three floors would know what we were doing.

  I was going to come, and it was going to be hard. My hands and feet tingled, and it felt like my whole body was going to explode into nothingness. I’d never been able to come this hard with someone else. Alone, yes. This was a first and I…

  It happened. I shattered. I clung to him while he finished, not even sure how much time that took. With a whisper in my ear, he called out my name. I held on like he was the only way I could live through this pleasure that somehow came with so much pain.

  This might very well kill me. And T would be my executioner.

  We panted next to each other, side-by-side, not saying a word. What was there to say, really? That had been… yeah. Incredible. But nothing had changed.

  I’d never thought it would. Still, it was impossible not to feel something about what we’d just done together. I couldn’t deal with any of it so I rolled over away from him. I’d get myself under control and handle this all later.

  I must have slept because the next thing I knew I was dreaming. Or at least I thought it was. I wore a long black gown. It was silk and it clung to my every curve. I’d never owned a dress like it. I couldn’t see myself but every time wind hit me, the bottom of the skirt pulled up like it wanted to fly off my body.

  I stood on the sand in my bare feet. It was a stark contrast to the fancy dress I had on.

  A noise caught my attention, and I turned around to see who came near me. It was Trace. He wore his signature all black. In the way of dreams, despite the darkness of the night, I could see him just fine, and I was sure he could see me.

  “Come to finish the job?”

  T lifted his gun. “I told you. I’d never hesitate.”

  He fired, and I jolted up in bed, my heart racing in my chest. Next to me, T slept with his eyes closed. He breathed deeply. Light from the bathroom reached the room. He must have gotten up and done that because it was off before. Maybe he didn’t like to sleep in pitch darkness.

  Still, it illuminated the room so I could see a little bit and that helped me to settle. Of course, I’d had a nightmare. I’d had mind blowing, stress relieving sex with one of my kidnappers, the absolute reason for my stress to begin with. I pulled my knees to my chest.

  The movement must have stirred Trace. His eyes fluttered open, and for a second, he stared at me, but I didn’t want him to see the vulnerability pouring out of me just then, so I pressed my head further into my knees.

  He touched the side of
my leg. “You okay?”

  “Just had a bad dream. Shook me. It’s nothing. Sorry to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

  T pulled himself up to sit next to me in the bed. “Light bothering you?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “I like to be able to see right away when I open my eyes.” He ran a hand through my hair. It was a comforting gesture from a man I was so conflicted about. I could, on one hand, have the best sex of my life and on the other dream he shot me in the head.

  I turned to look at him. Any chance I’d had of not looking vulnerable was gone. He’d seen I was shaken. There was nothing to do about it now. “Would you shoot me in the head?”

  He didn’t answer right away. “In what context is this alleged shooting taking place?”

  Well, that wasn’t a no. “In my dream, you shot me in the head on a beach.”

  His hand stilled before he raised it to my forehead. Like a child playing pretend—even though this was very real—he made the shape of a gun with his thumb, index, and middle fingers. Just like that he kept it there pointed against my skin. “I would shoot you, Everly. If I had to. If you gave me reason to. If doing so was essential in some way. I told you not to fall in love with me.”

  I swatted his hand away. “Oh trust me, no chance of that.” I should probably have been running away, but I wasn’t doing any of the things a smart, sensible person would have done by now.

  He sighed. “I’d rather not shoot you in the head. I like you. I’d like you to continue to live in the world. So don’t give me any reason to and we’ll be fine.”

  T rose from the bed and walked to the minibar. “I think we could both use a drink. A stiff one.”

  In the light I could see what I’d not paid attention to earlier. Trace had scars all over his back. Deep, ugly scars. They crisscrossed everywhere. I knew next to nothing about this kind of thing but it looked like someone had taken a whip to him.

  “Who did that to you?” I asked before I thought to stop myself.