Her Christmas Wolf (Sawtooth Shifters Book 4)

by Kristen Strassel

  Our lips moved together, exploring slowly. Delaney dug her fingers into my shoulders, steadying herself so she could rise up and commit to the kiss. The shyness melted away. Our tongues touched and tangled. Every time she tried something new, my heart stuttered in my chest. I’d never been so aware of it beating until I met this woman.

  I could’ve kissed her forever, in X’s truck in the Walmart parking lot, Christmas tree tied to the top of the cab. But she pulled away, touching her fingers to her lips to keep the kiss to herself or hide her smile, I didn’t fucking know. I was drunk of the taste of her. And the only cure was hair of the dog.

  “No hiding.” I stole a quick kiss through her fingers. “You deserve this. Don’t let anyone take this feeling away from you.”

  She pressed her fingers to her lips, tilting them toward me. Thank you in sign language. Then she brought them up to my lips. If she had any idea what she was doing to me, she wouldn’t be doing it in public. I kissed each finger, our gazes locking. Delaney might not have words, but we didn’t need them.

  I opened the door, and slid her off my lap. The cold air was a slap in the face I desperately needed. “Get everything you want. This is going to be the best Christmas ever.”

  She took my hand. She wanted me.

  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU doing?” Major asked as I wrestled the Christmas tree into the living room. He stood up but didn’t help me. Thanks, jackass.

  “Shea! You got a Christmas tree!” Emma, Major’s girlfriend’s daughter, tackled me around the knees. She almost knocked me over. A branch went up my nose on impact, and I couldn’t see a goddamn thing, face full of tree. “Where are we going to put it?”

  It was still pretty fucked up that my brother had a girlfriend. Cass was more than that—she was his mate. Had things been normal in the forest, and the she-wolves hadn’t been sold off like slaves, they would’ve been together all along. But instead, she had to marry the son of the bastard who’d kept us in chains. Now he was gone, and she and Major could be together.

  It was going to be a good fucking Christmas for so many reasons.

  “The kid can figure it out and you can’t?” I leaned the tree against the wall and scooped up Emma. She wouldn’t take kindly to me bringing another woman home. Since she and her mom moved in, her favorite hobby was commanding all my attention.

  “Let me take those.” Cass rushed across the room, taking Delaney’s bags. “No surprise Shea would leave you to fend for yourself. I’m Cass. This is Major, and Shea’s holding my little linebacker, Emma. I don’t think Shea’s mentioned you—"

  “This is Delaney.” I rushed over to her, with Emma still in my arms. I needed to institute some instant damage control. Living with Major and Cass was worse than living with my parents. They didn’t let anything slide, and they never kept their mouths shut, which was why I hadn’t said anything about Delaney yet. I didn’t want to hear their shit. “She uses sign language.”

  “What’s sign language?” Emma asked, cocking her head toward Delaney.

  Delaney bit her lip hard, looking to me for guidance. Her eyes widened and her shoulders rose with every breath. I pressed my thumb to forefinger, gliding my free hand back and forth in a semi-circle. Family.

  She nodded, then began moving her fingers and hands.

  Emma was fascinated, mouth open like she watched a magic trick. “What did she say?”

  “She said she works with me at the barn,” I said. Emma turned back to Delaney, who continued. “And that I taught her how to milk a cow.”

  Emma’s face lit up. “Will you teach me how to do that?”

  Delaney mirrored Emma’s expression and nodded.

  Cass pulled Emma away from me. “You’ll learn pretty quickly this is Emma’s world and we all live in it. You don’t have to say yes to everything she asks for. I’d love it if you hung out with us, though. I just came back to the forest, and it’d be awesome to have another woman around.”

  Emma pouted when Cass lowered her to the ground, but forgot about us when she saw the Christmas goodies sticking out of the bags. “Are there presents in here?”

  “Nope.” I snatched the bag away from her. “They’re decorations for the tree. Santa won’t be able to find our house unless we light it up. Then you have to prove to him that you can be a good girl.”

  Emma groaned. “I always have to be a good girl.”

  “If Santa knew anything, he’d reward the bad girls.” Major must’ve grabbed Cass’ ass judging from the way she jumped. “But if he doesn’t want to, I’m more than happy to do it.”

  “Where should we put the tree?” Cass asked after giving him a smoldering look. “In front of the window?”

  “Santa will be able to see it there,” Emma pointed out.

  Major and I put the tree in the stand. X tested lights and strung them. Cass trimmed the tree with garland, waving us off when we gave her shit for being a perfectionist. I brought the old ornaments down from the attic. The new ones would never cover this giant tree. It swallowed the living room. Delaney and Emma sorted ornaments, creating a system for hanging them. Emma would ask Delaney what a word was in ASL, and she’d show her. Emma picked up sign language like she’d been born knowing it.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off Delaney. She blossomed like a flower, petals reaching for the sun, becoming even more beautiful with each day. I slid my arms around her waist as she hung the last ornament.

  “You’re amazing,” I murmured in her ear.

  She brought her fingers to her mouth, making the sign for thank you.

  My wolf stirred, wanting more.

  “Every time you touch your mouth, I want to taste you.” Keeping my voice low enough that only she could hear me was torture.

  Delaney looked at me over her shoulder, smirking before touching her mouth again, then her fingers landed on my lips. I nipped at them, desperate for more of that sweet taste, but she took my toys away when Emma crashed into our legs.

  “We forgot the angel,” Emma said.

  “Are you going to sit on top of the tree?” I asked.

  Emma shrieked with laughter. “It’s an ornament!”

  Major picked Emma up so she could put the angel on top of the tree. With its blonde hair and serene expression, it looked just like Delaney.

  “Is Delaney sleeping over?” Emma asked.

  Major turned Emma upside down. “You’ll find out in the morning, because it’s time for you to go to bed. Say good night to everyone.”

  Emma squealed. “Good night!”

  Delaney signed good night to Emma, then turned to me, biting her lip.

  “Want to?” I asked.

  “He’ll only bite you if you ask him to.” Cass nudged Delaney, then headed out of the room to get her daughter to bed. “My advice? Ask him to bite you. ‘Night, kids.”

  MAJOR WOKE MY ASS UP a couple hours later. I jumped out of bed, thinking we were under attack. Other packs usually only fucked with us in our wolf forms, but the forest had been turned upside down in the last couple months—anything was possible.

  “Why is Delaney on the couch?” he asked.

  “Why aren’t you fucking Cass?” I groaned and crawled back under the covers. “Feeling shy with an audience? No wonder I was sleeping so good. It’s quiet.”

  We shared a bedroom wall, and in the last few weeks, I heard everything.

  “If I were you, that sweet little woman would be in my bed.” Major made himself at home, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What’s up with her? Is she the one from the shelter?”

  “X told you?” Leave it to him to not be able to keep his yap shut.

  “Yeah. At least one of my brothers doesn’t keep secrets from me.” Major narrowed his eyes, continuing before I had a chance to defend myself. “Don’t try to tell me it’s nothing. You don’t touch her like it’s nothing.”

  “She’s....” I couldn’t find the right word. Delaney had me speechless, too. She was everything, and Major would figure it out on his own. Anyt
hing else would be a betrayal. I wasn’t giving my brother an excuse to treat her differently.

  “She’s human, that’s what she is,” Major said.

  “So what. No one’s waiting for any little Sheas running around the forest. We’re friends. She’s had a shit fucking time of things, and she’s ready for something better.”

  “It’s not the baby thing.” Major shook his head. “Other packs will see her as a weakness. If they attack, they’ll go for the quick, easy pain to rip you apart.”

  “No one’s going to hurt her,” I growled. I could guarantee very few things in life, but that was one of them. Anyone who laid a finger or claw on her would pay with their blood.

  “Think of all the wolves you’ve pissed off over the years.” Major stood up, finally leaving. “They won’t give a damn about using her to hurt you.”

  Chapter Eight

  Delaney

  It had to be a dream. I couldn’t see anything without my glasses, just the fuzzy glow of the Christmas lights. I didn’t have to see Shea to know it was him. That warm, earthy scent made it almost impossible to keep my eyes open. I ran my hands down his bare arms, settled against his body, and sighed. I slept so soundly I didn’t feel him climb onto the couch with me. That never happened. Shea’s house—with the Christmas tree, his brothers giving him crap, and little Emma—felt like home.

  “I got in trouble.” Shea’s lips moved against my neck. My pulse raced, electricity coursing through my body. “Major wanted to know why I wasn’t sleeping with you. Said I needed to keep you safe. No one will hurt you when your with me, angel.”

  Shea had no shirt on. The muscles on his chest rippled, the heat from his body wrapped around me like a blanket. In the dark, I had no words. He wouldn’t see anything I signed, and I had no intention of letting go of him to find my notebook. Touching him was the best way I could use my fingers, I could tell him so much more that way.

  Being so close to him, so vulnerable, I could hardly breathe. I was moving too fast, letting Shea push through every wall that had been so painstakingly built by everyone who’d come before him. My mother, my sisters, the foster homes I’d been in, and all the people who looked the other way. Especially those assholes. Had someone spoken up, done what Shea and the wolves I met at Forever Home had promised, maybe I’d be able to tell Shea all the things I so desperately wanted to say.

  Maybe I could say his name. That one letter paralyzed me. Air rushed out of my lungs at the thought of making that sound. It would mean everything if I could just do it. But it wasn’t that simple.

  Shea wasn’t the first to think he could fix me, just like that. But he was the only one who hadn’t punished me for failing. The way his lips felt, moving against mine... I’d found Heaven in a Walmart parking lot in Idaho. Where you least expect it, right? He’d rumbled in the middle of the kiss, just like a wolf. It was so freaking sexy.

  Way better than in my books. Our lips found each other again in the dark. Sweet and hungry, Shea coaxed his way inside. It didn’t take much. I wanted him there, connected to me. His tongue tangled with mine, challenging me to do more. Too much, too soon, even in this dreamy haze. But I didn’t care.

  Shea took a deep breath when we separated, and I brought my hand over my mouth, wedging my fingers between us. If I didn’t touch my lips, I wouldn’t believe this was happening to me. Shea kissed my fingers with the same intensity he’d taken my mouth. Lightning surged through my body, his power, his bravery flowing into me.

  “I’ll dream of that kiss for the rest of the night,” Shea said, these kisses as light as butterflies landing on my cheeks and nose. “I want to know what it’s like to wake up with you in my arms.”

  WAKING UP WITH HIM was the best thing ever. Even if it wasn’t as either of us expected.

  “Hey,” Emma said, crawling over us, her knees sinking in the blankets between our bodies. “What are you guys doing?”

  “Not sleeping anymore.” Shea pulled the blanket up over our heads. Both Emma and I giggled. He snuck a quick kiss.

  “Good morning,” he whispered to me before Emma ripped the blanket away from us.

  “Mommy’s not up yet,” Emma declared. Her blurry body hovered over us. I tapped Shea, motioning that I needed my glasses.

  “Mommy’s lucky.” Shea sat up, stretching before he handed me my glasses. “It’s not even light out yet, you little vampire.”

  The multi-colored glow of the tree illuminated Shea and Emma. An orange light blinked on her, making her look even cuter. But she wasn’t the star of the show. That was the shirtless man whose legs were tangled in mine, his bare chest visible above the blanket. The tattoos covered both arms to his shoulders, snaked across his chest, and framed his rippling abs. He was a living, breathing work of art in so many ways. I ran my fingers along the online of the tattoo on his chest. His heart beat frantically below the surface.

  “I want you to draw my next tattoo.” He caught my hand, brought it to his mouth, then pulled me in for a proper kiss.

  Each one blew the last out of the water.

  Emma groaned. “All anyone does around here is kiss.”

  She jumped off the couch and headed toward the kitchen. We were too lost in each other to argue with her.

  “Emma and I have a breakfast date every morning,” Shea explained. “Graham Cracker Crunch. Want some?”

  We didn’t have much time before we had to get to the barn. Usually I rode in with Shadow, so I wasn’t surprised to see his truck in the parking lot. Trina never came to the barn, so when she jumped out of Shadow’s truck before X parked, I knew something was wrong.

  “Where is she?” Trina cried, pulling the door open. “Oh, thank God she’s with you. What the fuck, Shea? Don’t you ever check your phone?”

  He hopped out of the truck like nothing was wrong and shrugged. “I was busy.”

  Trina glared at him, her expression softening when she turned to me. She held out her hand to help me get out of the truck. Fury vibrated through her, and I wasn’t sure how she wasn’t just as mad at me as she was at Shea. I didn’t even think to tell her I stayed with Shea. I got carried away—I’d never spent the night at anyone else’s house.

  Who was I kidding? I’d never gone out with a friend before. I motioned sorry before taking her hand. Trina surprised me by pulling me into a hug.

  “Don’t scare me like that again,” she murmured against my ear.

  “You knew she was with me.” Shea crossed his arms, his eyes narrow. “You’re being overdramatic.”

  “Shea, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but bite me.” Trina pulled away from me but didn’t let go.

  “Not on your best day.”

  I chopped my hand against my palm, begging them to stop. I knew they didn’t start fighting over me, but it didn’t make me hate it any less.

  Trina rolled her eyes at Shea, then turned to me. “Wanna hang with me for the day?”

  I stepped toward Shea.

  “You’re punishing her?” Shea snarled. I shrank away from Trina. A chill trailed down my spine. All I could think of when it came to the shelter was the crates. “We set up the Christmas tree and had cereal with a five-year-old. Think this through.”

  “I had nothing to do all night but think it through.” Trina reached for me. “We’ll get you some clean clothes, and you can tell me all about the Christmas tree.”

  I dug my notepad out of my pocket. You’re invited, too, I wrote.

  Trina showed the paper to Shea and he nodded.

  “We’re having Christmas in the forest. We want you there, the Channings too. No more fighting, Trina. We’re one pack and we’ve got to figure out how to move forward together, with all our differences,” he said.

  She smiled at Shea. Finally. “That sounds amazing.”

  I hated leaving Shea, but chances were we wouldn’t have gotten anything done today. My insides rumbled with an intense craving for our next kiss. Leaving with Trina wasn’t going to fix that, but maybe it would giv
e me a chance to figure out what the heck it was I was feeling.

  I’d kiss him as soon as I got back. I knew we wouldn’t be stopping there for much longer. And much to my surprise, I wanted more.

  “Shadow told me you know about the guys,” Trina said as she drove away from the farm. “Now I can explain why Shea gets under my skin. Kiera, Lyssie, and I rescued the Channings and the Lowes from a dog fighting ring on this farm. Shea was fighting when we broke everything up. Shadow’s youngest brother, Archer, was his opponent. Things got out of hand, and we didn’t make it time. Archer took his last breath in my arms, Delaney. I’ll never forget that. How it felt to hold someone’s life in my hands and not be enough for them.”

  My sweet Shea killed someone. No. It couldn’t be true. He’d been so gentle with me.

  I didn’t know what love was. I’d read about it and watched it happen for others, but I’d never experienced it myself. Still, I had a feeling whatever I was doing with Shea was the beginning of something really good. The thing I’d always wanted. But how could the one person in the world who could give me that be capable of the complete opposite? The dark madness that had driven me to this place resided in his soul, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

  Trina watched me, waiting for a reaction, but I was numb.

  Shadow put his hand over Trina’s and squeezed it. “It’s not as bad as it sounds,” he said.

  My mouth fell. I didn’t understand what he could possibly mean.

  “We’d been chained in a shitty little shack on the corner of this property. Barely had any food, forced to fight each other on the new moon, when we were weakest, and we’d take the longest to recover. I don’t know if Shea explained that to you at all, that we’re strongest when the moon is full. Anyway, Ryker, the bastard who held us hostage, pit Shea against my brother, knowing what would happen. He took bets on the fights, then decided who’d go out in the ring. Shea wanted his freedom. Any of us would’ve done the same thing.”