Dreamwalker

by J. A. Culican

  “Well, I’m not much of a fighter. More of a lover if you need help in that category,” Astor joked and winked my way.

  “Oh, she sucks in that category too,” Sade shot back with a giggle.

  “I do not,” I tried to defend myself, but she was right. I had never even been kissed.

  “You’re good at almost dying.” Sade turned to Astor and nodded.

  “Now that's a story I want to hear.” Astor moved between Sade and me and waited for one of us to continue.

  “I’m never going to hear the end of this.” I shook my head.

  “Nope.” Sade dug into her rice. “That’s a nice kit that the ur’gel packed for you.”

  “Ur’gel?” Astor practically dropped his plate.

  “They have her brother,” Sade said without any emotion. It was easy for her to give away my secrets.

  “That’s not up for discussion.” I felt betrayed. It wasn’t up to her to tell that story, just like it wasn’t up to me to tell hers.

  “You've touched a sore spot.” Astor dug back into his food. “You ladies are feisty. You know how to push each other's buttons.”

  Sade and I peered at each other. I had certainly said things I regretted to her.

  “I'm sorry,” Sade muttered from under her breath, averting any eye contact with me. I figured she never apologized, so I recognized the rare moment.

  “Thank you.” I didn’t want to make her apology a big thing. We were both on the same page, and no words were needed.

  “Well then, that’s easy.” Astor grinned to himself.

  We sat around the camp a bit longer than we should have, but we all needed a good laugh and Astor provided that. He goofed around and made fun of himself with little hesitation. Sade even contributed with her quick, smart wit.

  This journey just got a little bit brighter.

  Exhaustion seeped through me as we walked for several days. We were wet and worn out. Sade had wanted to push forward, but Astor and I convinced her to stop after a deer passed us in the woods. We were in desperate need of protein to get us through the last leg of this trip.

  Astor and I stayed back to set up camp as Sade took to the woods in search of the deer.

  “She’s a wonder.” Astor dropped a bunch of branches by the fire.

  “She’s a hard shell to crack, but when you do, it’s worth it.” I sat back on the ground and rubbed two dry sticks together. Once I had a spark, I leaned over and blew on the flame. It caught quickly as I added dry kindling. Sade had shown me a couple of different ways to create fire, and I had taken a liking to this manner.

  “You know, I could do that with magic.” Astor sat down across from me.

  “I know.” I added more wood to my masterpiece. “But I won`t always have the Great Astor with me.”

  “You’re getting quicker. Sade wouldn’t tell you that, though, even if she thinks it.” Astor lay back on the grass and looked up to the sky.

  I smiled to myself. It didn’t take him long to figure out the real Sade. I had enjoyed myself with Astor along for the trip. Sade let loose more and wasn’t as cynical.

  “I’m not supposed to say anything, but we heard you last night.” Astor rolled over on his side and played with some strands of grass, avoiding eye contact with me.

  The skin on my face started to burn. The heat rose from my neck to my cheeks. I’d seen Beru every few nights. I’d chosen for most visits not to let him see me so I could study him. I had no control over when I dreamwalked.

  “It sounded heated.” He plucked some grass and threw it in my direction.

  “It wasn’t,” I lied. There was something between us. His mind attracted me. He was assertive and knew what he wanted. I admired him. I looked forward to each dream and wished for him each night.

  “Do you know about his family?” Astor sat up and looked around us.

  “No.” I had wondered about his life before prison, but it wasn’t my focus.

  “So, I may have been holding out on you a little bit.” Astor rocked on his side. I just knew he was itching to tell me something.

  “Go on.” I remained in my position and lifted my eyes to him. I tamed my eagerness from showing.

  “I’ve heard of Beru from my master.” Astor flinched, putting his hand over his face.

  I didn’t move. I was scared to show any excitement from learning more about him. I had wanted this for a while, yet now I didn’t seem ready.

  “Okay,” was all I could muster. I focused on breaking the little branches of the larger limbs Astor brought over and placed them in the fire. “I’m ready.”

  “It’s more on the personal side. About his life at home.” Astor watched my expression.

  “Spill it.” I wanted to know everything, and I needed to know before Sade returned.

  “He was married.” Astor made a long, dramatic pause.

  “Yes,” I replied and tried not to show that it bothered me. It had always been a possibility, but it stung. Not that Beru and I had something going on. Just a few close encounters.

  “His wife and child were murdered the night before he was captured,” Astor said, again very dramatically.

  “Did he know about the murder?” I shook my head in embarrassment. How would Astor have known? No one had seen Beru since he’d been captured.

  “One can only guess.” Astor settled back into his regular tone of voice.

  “How did your master know?” I kept feeding the fire to ensure it was hot enough for cooking when Sade returned. Also to hide my interest in Astor’s story.

  “There’s more talk of the war in Western March. It lives on.” Astor’s face was grim.

  “Not like Low Forest?” No one spoke about the war there. My father’s stories were how I knew the little bit that I did, and they were altered to tell a child. As we got older, my father spoke less about it.

  “No, Low Forest wants to forget what happened. If you grew up in Western March, the stories are passed down from generation to generation.” Astor sat up and helped me break more branches for the fire.

  “Do you know any more about Beru?” I tried to act like I didn’t care. Astor was the first person that knew anything about him that would speak. I learned more from him than I had learned with all my time with Beru.

  “No. That’s all I got.”

  A noise in the woods caught our attention. We both stood and surveyed the edge, waiting for whatever it was to come out.

  Dizziness took over as the thought of having to protect Astor and myself without Sade seemed like a long shot. Especially on such little sleep. My head shot toward where Astor was focused, and relief filled me when I saw Sade standing with a deer hoisted on her shoulders.

  “Anyone hungry?” Sade dumped his body on the ground.

  Astor and I grinned ear to ear. The last time I had a full meal had been in Xagu’s tent.

  Astor helped Sade clean the body as I heated the pans so they would be ready cook.

  We scarfed down our meal and opened a bottle of wine Xagu had given me for the trip.

  “Okay, so you’re not so bad now with tracking.” Sade recounted to Astor how I had gotten us lost in Low Forest.

  “I managed just fine,” I replied with a mouth full of food.

  “You’re okay.” Sade filled her plate with more meat.

  “Even I learned a few techniques for fighting in your lesson to Aria,” Astor revealed, falling off his log, pretending to be dead.

  “If all else fails.”

  “Play dead,” I added.

  We were overtired and needed this break.

  Astor stood and walked toward the woods and relieved himself.

  “We don’t need to see that,” I called after him.

  “I can’t see anything.” Sade smiled at me and we broke out into giggles.

  “I think he’s off to bed.” I turned as he collapsed into our makeshift cabin.

  “I’d say we will hear the snoring shortly.”

  I returned to my plate, eager to f
inish up and rest as well.

  “I’m glad we’re alone.” Sade’s tone implied we’d be having a serious conversation.

  “Is there something you want to talk about?”

  “You mentioned seeing Beru a few more times. Just interested in what you found out.” Sade seemed genuinely interested. These past few days together had brought a different understanding between us.

  “It’s different each time.” I stared at my plate. My time with Beru seemed private, between him and I, but I owed Sade some explanations for being my guide.

  “How so?” Sade put her empty plate down, got comfortable in her spot, and gave me her full attention.

  “I don’t always show myself to him, not that I can’t. I sometimes don’t feel like I should.” It was hard to explain why that made sense to me.

  “So, you watch him?” Sade tilted her head to the left.

  “I guess I like him better when he can’t see me. He’s more himself.” I tried to explain it the best way that I could.

  “What is he like when you show yourself?”

  “It’s almost as if he has something to prove. Although I’m certain sometimes when I don’t show myself, he knows that I’m there.” I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. I hadn’t the courage to ask him why he did that.

  “Maybe he doesn’t want a reminder of the living,” Sade guessed.

  “It’s like I can’t turn him off sometimes. I just want to sleep, but I can’t stay away either.” I let my guard down. It was good to be able to talk to someone about this.

  “Is that a dreamwalking thing? Getting attached to someone?” Sade threw another log on the fire.

  “Could be.” I hoped that wasn’t the case. I wondered if he thought about me as much as I did him. Or was he thinking of his wife?

  “You look sad when you talk about him,” Sade commented.

  “I just question my part in this. It’s exhausting.” Tears wanted to form, but I thought of Gavin being home with my parents and happy moments.

  I ran my hand through my thick, dirty hair, how I wanted to bathe in a tub so desperately. The thought of bathing reminded me of a dreamwalk where Beru had been soaking in a tub. I hadn’t made myself known, but his body stiffened as I walked closer to him. I stopped, embarrassed he had seen me watching him, but then he dunked his whole body under the water and carried on as if I wasn’t there. My cheeks flushed as I closed my eyes to bring me back to that moment.

  “I’m going to bed.” Sade got up. “It looks like you won’t be far behind.”

  “I’ll just be a few minutes,” I watched her walk back to where Astor was already sleeping.

  It had been a while since I’d been alone. As I sat in front of the warm fire, my thoughts turned to Beru again. I couldn’t get him out of my mind and almost wanted to sleep more on the chance of seeing him again.

  I placed another log on the fire and went to join Astor and Sade to get some sleep.

  The next morning, Sade let Astor and I sleep in a little bit. She went off into the woods to scout out our next route. She also needed time to herself. She was used to working alone.

  We got ourselves up and ate breakfast. I had thought Sade would be back before we’d be done. However, she had not returned, so we focused on breaking down camp. We packed our bags and tore down our shelter. We made it so no one would ever know we had camped there.

  “I’m getting worried.” Astor shoved the last of our things in a pack.

  We hadn’t seen her leave in the early morning, so we didn’t know which way she had gone.

  “Me too. She should have been back by now.” I searched the ground to see if I could find any of her footprints, but we had been working on the camp all morning, and we had destroyed any chance we’d had to track her.

  “Do you think she would leave us?” Astor reached my side and stared off into the woods where I had been looking.

  “Sade wouldn’t do that,” I said, not so sure of my answer. I didn’t want Astor to worry.

  “Yeah, she wouldn’t.” Astor rubbed his hand up and down my arm, then went back to our packs and sat down.

  Astor and I stayed in camp and waited for Sade to return. The worst thoughts ran through our minds that Sade either had left us or something bad had happened to her. My hands were numb as I rubbed the handle of my bag, waiting for her to come out of the woods and yell at us for losing more daylight.

  “She’s not coming back.” Astor lay back and placed his hat over his face to keep the sun from burning his rather pale skin.

  “She’ll be back,” I replied through gritted teeth. I hated he might be right. No sooner than I had that thought, we could hear someone walking toward us in the woods. Astor shot up from his position and grabbed me by the arm as he tried to pull me back.

  “You look like you saw a ghost.” Sade trampled right past us to pick up her pack.

  “Where did you go?”

  “Western March. It’s just through those trees.”

  “Why didn’t you wake us?” I questioned her, confused at why she never told us we were this close.

  “You needed the rest.” Sade shifted her shoulders to get her pack just right before we left camp.

  We gathered our belongings and followed Sade though the woods. I didn’t bother to hide my excitement to see this land I had heard of from a young age.

  We began our last leg, and soon we faced the base of the mountains. We traveled along the edge of the Oubliee Desert. The heat scorched my skin as did the sand that was being whipped around in the wind. We had little coverage.

  All three of us had to be on alert for any Oubliee. They were human nomads who ruled the desert of the Northwestern Territory. We were guarded, as the thought of fighting them or any creature at this point, would quickly end us.

  Time passed slowly in the desert. Our feet sank deep into the hot sand. We walked for most of the day and welcomed the sun going down. Just as I was almost unable to go any further, the lights of Western March appeared.

  It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The mountain hung at a slant, and a small piece of rock magically kept it upright. The temperature dropped, and large pieces of ice hung off the slanted sides of the mountain. The higher up the mountain, the more lights you could see. I closed my eyes to rest them and was daunted at the thought we had to climb it.

  “There it is.” Sade walked past me, then stopped to take in the beauty.

  “Home,” Astor said from behind me.

  “Let’s take a break while it’s dark and head up first thing.” Sade pulled off to the side where the rocky part of the mountain would provide us with some shelter from the blowing sand.

  Astor followed her and took off his boots as we reached the cave and turned them upside down to empty the sand.

  I stood there a few more moments and stared at the mountain. I hadn’t thought of this moment. There had been too many possibilities that we wouldn’t make it. Tomorrow morning, I would meet the dreamwalker and learn how I could free Beru.

  At daybreak, we ate and started to break camp to head up the mountain. Astor was eager to find his master, and today I would meet the dreamwalker. My hands shook as I packed my bag. So much depended on this meet, and it needed to go according to plan.

  “This is the day you have been waiting for,” Astor stated as we set out.

  “I hope I’m prepared for it,” I uttered as I tried to keep stride with him and Sade.

  It wasn’t long before we could see the city’s edge. As we entered, it didn’t look like I had expected. There was a vast array of people everywhere. As we walked past the merchants, the offerings were plenty, and many of the items I had never seen before. The merchants shouted out to you with their wares as you passed by their booths.

  Sade stopped to purchase some fresh fruit. Her lump of silver delivered more food than if she had paid the same in Low Forest.

  “Pick your jaw up.” Sade elbowed me and threw an apple toward me, then at Astor. I brought it to my nose
to smell. It was sweeter. I ate it rather quickly, thankful for something other than rice.

  “We aren’t far from where my master is. It’s just up this way.” Astor pushed past us to lead.

  The buildings were partially made from sand and mud. The windows were simple holes, and the winds blew through to keep the building cool. The buildings were very old and had stood longer than our village in Low Forest. They were stacked side by side, each house sharing a wall with the next. Most of the homes had a vending station outside their front door. It seemed common to even see children at the helm, calling out to peasants as they walked by.

  Astor walked faster than he had the whole journey and didn’t partake in any talk. His lips moved as he mumbled under his breath.

  “I could have sworn it’s around here.” Astor stopped and spun around, looking from building to building. He began to breathe faster, and if I hadn’t known him, I would have thought he was in the midst of a panic attack.

  “There.” Sade pointed toward a building.

  Astor turned and nodded his head, but he didn’t move toward it.

  Sade must have been right in choosing the building.

  “That’s it.” Astor nodded his head but didn’t move.

  “Let’s go.” Sade pushed Astor forward with the palm of her hand to his back.

  He stumbled forward in slow motion.

  Sade pounded on the door.

  Astor reached his hand out for her arm to pull her away, but he wasn’t quick enough.

  A little slot on the door opened, and a pair of eyes appeared. The slot closed again. Silence.

  “Idok, please. I have come to be of service. I promise no more antics.” Astor leaned against the door and raised his voice.

  I moved my hand to my mouth to hide my giggles as poor Astor tried his best to get his master to open the door.

  “And I’m sorry about your hair. I’m certain it will grow back,” Astor alleged. He turned his head back to Sade as if he had hoped we hadn’t heard him.

  “Go away.” Idok’s fist pounded on the inside of the door.

  “I will not,” Astor insisted. “You were assigned as my mentor, and I will follow you wherever you go.”