Highlanders To Surrender To: A Scottish Medieval Historical Romance

by Alisa Adams

  62

  A Dress and A Wedding

  "I have no time to have a wedding dress made," Davina lamented, "I will wear my Sunday dress with a silk veil."

  "Hmm…" Una mused, "I think we can do better than that." They went upstairs to a small anteroom which was used mainly for storage. Una unlocked it and they went in. There were half-a-dozen large trunks there and a small battered tin box. Una had a key for this. She opened it and took out another key with which she opened one of the trunks.

  "How many keys do you need, Mother?" Davina was astonished.

  "This is my safe place," Una answered, "where I keep all the things that are most precious to me, be they valuable or not. I am very careful with all these items because they are irreplaceable. Now…" She held up a pale blue silk dress with long sleeves that were puffed at the top and narrowed to points at the wrist. It had a V-neck and a fitted waist and was embroidered all over with tiny white roses.

  Davina put her fingertips out to touch it. It looked so delicate that she was scared that any careless movement of her hand would rip it or snag the filmy fabric. "It is exquisite," she said breathily, "is this what I think it is, Mother?"

  Una nodded happily. "My wedding dress," she replied, "I would be thrilled if you wore it, Davina."

  Davina hugged her mother. "I would be proud to," she answered, almost in tears, "Mother, it's the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen. You must have looked stunning in it."

  Una stroked the silk gently, her eyes far away. "It took my mother eight months to make," she told Davina, "but she said that it was worth it just to see your father's face!" A single tear ran down her cheek and she brushed it away. "Just for your wedding day, I will try to forget to be sad."

  "You don't have to, Mother, everyone understands." Davina looked at the dress again and frowned. "Mother, this will be too small for me!"

  "No, milady, it will not!" Una laughed. "You have lost a few pounds since your father died. More than a few in fact! Have you not looked in the mirror lately?"

  "I try not to, Mother," Davina said dryly, "it is very discouraging."

  "Well, it should not be!" Una shook her head vehemently. "You are going to try this on right now."

  They removed Davina's linen dress and chemise, then laced her into the silk dress. Davina walked along the corridor to her own room to the smiles and compliments of the servants who passed them. She felt a quite unaccustomed sense of pride. When she looked in the mirror a stranger looked back. She had sharp cheekbones, a small waist, and slender arms.

  "I think you have been worrying too much to eat," Una said.

  A terrible thought occurred to Davina. She opened her mouth to voice it, but Una held up a hand to stop her. "No, lovie." She smiled at her daughter. "I don't think this is why Athol is marrying you. I think he genuinely loves you because I know what men in love look like. He used to be immensely proud of himself, but now he is even prouder of you."

  Davina looked again at the creature in the mirror, marveling at how different she was from her own image of herself. Una brought a white silk veil for her to drape over her blonde-streaked hair and they both stood looking at Davina's reflection for a while. Davina turned this way and that, looking from all angles, then turned to Una again.

  "It fits like a glove!" Her voice was incredulous.

  "Thank goodness." Una said gratefully, "I won't have to spend tomorrow sewing."

  They spent two hours lying in bed talking that night. Una told Davina how she and her father had met, their courtship, and the wedding when she had worn the blue dress. But then there were the miscarriages and the stillbirth. Una looked infinitely sad when talking about them but her face was transformed when she talked about the day Davina was born.

  "Ruaridh knew that you were a girl before you were born," she sighed, thinking back. "I just wanted a live baby. But the minute you were born I loved you and you were so healthy and happy. We had no more after you, but Ruaridh didn't care. He was so proud of you."

  "I always thought he was sorry because I wasn't a boy."

  "No," she said and laughed. "Never. You were his pride and joy, as you are mine. You had better get to sleep now, my girl. it will be a busy day tomorrow." Then mother and daughter wrapped their arms around each other, smiling, and slept.

  Athol could not sleep; his bed was too big and empty. On his penultimate night as a single man, all he could think about was Davina. What was she doing? Was she thinking about him? Was she lying awake too? He tossed and turned for an hour before dropping off to sleep and even then, he dreamt about her until he woke up. Only one more day, he told himself, but he thought about Davina every minute.

  The bright clear weather that had blessed Maura's wedding had not seen fit to stay for Davina's. When Athol arrived at the castle he was soaked, despite his heavy cloak. "Go and dry yourself in front of the fire," Una ordered briskly, "Davina is still bathing."

  "Thank God for that!" Athol said, relieved, "I must look like a drowned rat." Una gave him a cup of hot milk sprinkled with cinnamon. "Can you put a little whiskey in it too please?" he asked.

  Una looked at him from under lowered brows.

  "I am freezing," he protested, "and I am a bag of nerves."

  Una tipped about a teaspoon of whiskey into the milk. "You will get over it!" She laughed. "I am so glad she has chosen you, Athol. You have changed recently, changed for the better, I might add."

  He shook his head in wonder. "You know, milady," he said, brow furrowed in thought. "I will be honest with you. I had not seen Davina for three years, and I still thought of her as a girl. It took me a while to realize that she was not a girl anymore, but a genuine, grown-up woman. She will look after me and I will take great pleasure in looking after her. She told you about our sleeping arrangements, I suppose?"

  "She did." Una nodded. "But I do not think your celibacy will last too long, Athol. She adores you, although she has not realized it herself yet."

  Athol gave her the dazzling smile that had bewitched so many other young women. "From your lips to God's ears," he whispered, "ah, here she is now. My God, she is so lovely!" He went over to her and bowed to kiss her hand.

  "My princess! You look magnificent," he said incredulously. "Your dress!"

  "It's my mother's," Davina informed him, "she was married in it too."

  Athol looked down at himself. He was still dripping. "I am sorry," he said sadly, "I could not help it. The rain was relentless."

  "Will you be any less married if you are wet?" she asked, smiling mischievously. He shook his head and just then, Father Anthony appeared.

  Father Anthony's smile always seemed to reassure people that there was a God in Heaven, so warm and welcoming was it. "Davina and Athol," he said, just before he began the ceremony. "I wondered when you two would get married! If ever any two people were made for each other, 'tis you two!"

  Athol and Davina looked at each other, wondering how many other people had thought the same. "That is strange, Father," Davina said, "because we did not realize until Sunday!"

  There was a ripple of laughter, then he began the service with a blessing. They had a simple service during which everyone took communion and Father Anthony gave a short homily. "These two young people have now given themselves to each other in holy matrimony," he said, "and this means that they have committed themselves to each other as long as they both live. They are now one self, one soul, and we all fervently hope that the love that binds them together today will find expression in the form of new lives if God sees fit to bless them with children. This love will not always be new and passionate, but it will never fade. It will become warm and contented, and they will live into old age together, still in love, still devoted to each other until the end. May their life together be long and fruitful. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen."

  He smiled at all of them. "And now, I give you Laird and Lady Murray!"

  Athol stepped up to Davina and took her hands in his. "May I have my
first kiss as your husband, Lady Murray?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

  "Of course," she replied, winding her arms around his neck. A great cheer went up, and when it ended Davina was blushing furiously. Lorina and Alec came to kiss her, followed by Lyle, Mary, and last of all, Una.

  There were a few ribald comments from the men and a few more restrained ones from the ladies. The servants had formed a procession to wish them well, and everyone said how beautiful Davina looked. Athol could not stop looking at Davina. He had a strange feeling of unreality, as though it were all happening to someone else. Davina had made no decision about the sleeping arrangements, but Una had provided them with separate rooms anyway. Many couples slept in separate rooms as a matter of course, after all.

  They said goodbye to their guests about three hours later. Una kissed them and cupped Athol's cheek with her hand. "Welcome to the family," she said with a smile.

  Davina was trying not to think about what the night was going to hold. They spent the morning talking in the parlor. Athol had his arm around Davina's waist and she had her head on his shoulder.

  In the afternoon, they went riding, since the weather had cleared up, and after dinner, Davina knew that it was time to make a decision. When they went upstairs Davina showed Athol his bedroom and stood behind him awkwardly as he opened the door. She smiled as he turned to kiss her. He looked down into her eyes for a moment, but she turned away and began to walk away from him. For a moment he looked after her with longing, then turned to enter his room.

  Davina stopped suddenly. She was torn between two possible actions and simply could not make up her mind. Should she go forward to her own room or turn back and share Athol's bed, whatever the consequences? She turned around. Athol was halfway through the doorway of his room but stopped when she did and looked at her in silence.

  All of a sudden, she knew. She took one step forward, but he covered the space between them in two strides and crushed his mouth against hers, kissing her fiercely. His lips left hers and he looked down at her with an intensity that scared her for a moment. Then he picked her up as if she were weightless and carried her into his room. There, he put her down on the bed and lay down beside her. She was trembling and he held her against him for a few minutes until she stopped.

  "Would you like to go to sleep?" he murmured.

  She nodded against him. "I am not ready yet," she whispered, "I thought I was. I am so sorry, Athol. Can we just cuddle together?"

  He tried to smile for her sake but could not hide the disappointment in his eyes.

  "I will go back to my own room," she said flatly, sitting up, but he pulled her down again.

  "You are not going anywhere," he told her, "I told you I would never pressure you and I will not. We can just go to sleep and keep each other warm."

  "I would like that very much," she whispered.

  He got up and helped her to unlace her dress, then turned his back as she took it off. She was wearing her chemise when she got back into bed and he had kept on his long shirt.

  "Goodnight, Lady Murray," he said, kissing her lightly on the lips. He closed his eyes and held her hands in both of his, but he kept a slight distance between their bodies. It took a great effort of will and it was killing him. It took him a long time to go to sleep.

  63

  Becoming One

  Davina had never had such a good night's rest. When she woke, for a few confused seconds, she did not know where she was, then she turned over and looked at Athol, who was still sleeping. In repose, he looked very appealing, his long eyelashes resting on his cheekbones and the shadow of morning stubble on his jaw. His long dark hair lay across his forehead and when she moved it away from his face, his eyes flickered open and he smiled at her.

  "Good morning, Lady Murray," he murmured.

  "Good morning, m'laird," she said and laughed. "I keep wondering who this Lady Murray is!"

  "She is the woman I love," Athol's voice was husky as he spoke. He looked at her again with his peculiar, scrutinizing gaze and his eyes came to rest on her lips. For a moment he frowned, then he shook his head slightly and got out of bed. He went to the window and looked out. The weather was still as vicious as it had been the previous night, with driving sleet and gale force winds. He was pretending to be interested in the storm, but the truth was that he could not lie in the same bed with Davina any longer and keep his self-control.

  When he had made the promise to wait for her to be ready it had seemed so easy and he had thought that when she had come to his bed she was going to give herself to him. He had been disappointed, and feeling her warmth, being able to see the enticing curves of her body but not touch them was torture. He could have held her close in the night when she was sleeping, but that would have been his undoing.

  Davina could see the tenseness in his body by the whiteness of his knuckles as he leant on the windowsill. "Is something wrong?" she asked anxiously.

  "I should never have made that promise to you, Davina," he sighed, still looking out of the window. "It was so easy to make but it is very hard to keep. Stay in your own bed tonight. If you come to my bed I…" He shook his head. "I'm just a man, Davina. I cannot stand this."

  "Turn around, Athol," she said huskily. He did so, and his eyes widened as he looked at her. She was holding out her arms to him.

  "I am ready," she said simply.

  He stood for a moment, frozen in disbelief, then he crossed the room and almost dived into the bed. "Oh, God, Davina, so am I," he told her and laughed. "You have no idea how much." He crushed her against him in his need to be close to her and she moaned a little at the pressure of his embrace.

  "I cannot breathe!" she complained, laughing.

  "Sorry." He loosened his hold and smiled at her. "I am just so happy."

  She ran her hand back through his long hair, looking into his hazel eyes. "You are my first lover," she whispered, "you have to be kind to me, for I know nothing."

  "I hope I am also the last," he murmured as he peeled off her chemise with great gentleness.

  "I hope so too," she replied, pushing her hands under his shirt. She pulled it off over his head and he drew her close against him, for the first time feeling the silky warmth of her skin. She felt the slight rasp of his chest hair against hers and suddenly realized how they different they were. His body was strong, muscular and bony, whereas hers was smooth and soft. She ran her fingertips along his cheek; it was rough while hers was velvety and sharply defined while hers were round.

  Athol stroked her very gently, holding himself back, remembering that he was making love to this woman - his wife - for the very first time. He could see the dawning of desire in her eyes. She was giving herself up to pleasure, but she was still afraid. He cupped her breasts in his hands then kissed them. His lips bestowed a line of kisses down to her navel. When he touched her intimately she gasped with surprise and pleasure. Then he came back to her lips again and she nuzzled the side of his neck with her lips and tongue. He gave a little laugh at the ticklish sensation.

  "Tell me what to do," she murmured.

  "Nothing," he replied softly, "I will take care of you."

  She felt a fleeting, piercing pain inside her for a moment as they joined together, then it was over and they were moving together in a rhythm as old as time. Then Davina began to experience a new and delightful sensation that was becoming stronger and stronger. She seemed to be striving for something wonderful that was tantalizingly out of reach. Then she cried out suddenly as it exploded, sending waves and waves of almost unbearable pleasure over her whole body.

  She lay, trembling and shuddering against Athol's body for a while, then she looked at him. She had barely noticed his climax, so intent she had been on her own. For a few moments, she was speechless, looking into the hazel eyes of the man that she suddenly knew that she loved with all her heart.

  "I am really Lady Murray now, am I not?" she asked him mischievously.

  "Indeed, you are, mistress." He propped himse
lf up on one elbow to look at her. "I have never seen you look lovelier, not even in your wedding dress." He kissed her again. "I could kiss you all day. I love you so much."

  "I love you too," Davina said shyly.

  "You do?" His voice was incredulous. "I thought - I don't know what I thought - but I never dreamed you could actually love me."

  "Athol Murray," she said, shaking her head. "I do not believe that. You have never been short of self-confidence!"

  He sighed, smiling at her. "That is true," he confessed, "but I have never been in love before. I find it very frightening."

  "Why?" She was puzzled.

  "To think that one person could hold my life in the palm of her hand," he said quietly.

  "I never thought of it that way." Her voice was dreamy and far away, a faint smile touching her lips. Then she suddenly became brisk. "Athol, you know what I would like most of all right now?"

  "More of the same?" he asked hopefully.

  She laughed and gave him a playful cuff around the ear. "A bath." She stood up and pulled him out of bed. "Then breakfast and then, who knows?" She looked out of the window. "We could have gone for a ride but the weather is terrible."

  "Then we could just stay in bed," he suggested.

  "Or a walk."

  "Or stay in bed," he persisted.

  "Or play chess."

  "Or stay in bed." He was relentless.

  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Have you no other suggestions?" she asked, smiling.

  "Not a single one," he admitted.

  "I am not staying in bed the whole day!" she protested.

  "Let's have a bath then since you insist." He gave a theatrical sigh.

  While they were waiting for the bath water to arrive he began to kiss her again but was firmly pushed away. "Bath first!" she ordered.

  They lay hidden up to their necks under the blankets when the tub and the water arrived. It was the most enormous bathtub Athol had ever seen, but even so, it was a tight squeeze. Athol was quite a bit bigger than Ruaridh who had used it before with Una. Davina sat between his legs, her back to his chest, while he washed her hair with scented soap then gently combed it with his fingers. He took the opportunity to nuzzle her neck with his lips and wash her shoulders and breasts before she stopped him.